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Chapter Two
'Don't Regret What We Did'
She simply adored the interior of my car, eyes wide like a small child entering a candy store as her fingers pressed upon the smooth leather. Curling in the seat as she inhaled deeply. And from where I sat silently observing, my eyes watered slightly from the sight of her sitting there with me because she had been in my car before on one occasion. That was something I had never forgotten, and to watch her react the same as she had done before only choked me with déjà vu.
"Wow…" she whispered, leaning back, eyes closed. "Compared to my car this…is…a slice of heaven."
"Where is your car?" I asked, my eyes searching the parking lot for that familiar sight of yellow.
"Parked at home, I jogged to work this afternoon," eyes fluttering open, she sighed, "it's one of the luxuries of doing this job. Most clients have fancy rides so I really don't have to use my car."
"I gather that your stream of traffic consists of fancy suits and sophisticated men with fat wallets?" I raised an eyebrow as the conversation, all of it felt so entirely weird to me, tasting slightly bitter on my tongue.
"Men mostly," she noted, "I always get the rich ones."
"How interesting…"
"Managers and stuff…They prefer women with blonde hair."
"Women too?" My hands gripped the steering wheel, eyes focused on her, only her.
"Oh yeah, women of all types…"
"So you're…experienced then?"
Emerald eyes turned to consider me, and swallowing hard, my fingers squeezed the key as I turned, the engine purring instantaneously. "If you're trying to find out if I'll be worth your time, then trust me, you have nothing to worry about."
Putting the car into Drive, I pulled out from the parking lot, smiling in response. And we drove for quite some time in silence, her eyes constantly sweeping over me as my right hand gripped the fabric of the seat under my butt, feeling the tension between us building up like a volcano about to erupt. The radio would have been fine to listen to, but to hear her breathing was probably the only satisfying rhythm that my mind could relax to. And keeping it that way, I couldn't wait to reach the small hotel but based on the buildup of traffic, it appeared as if time would stretch out longer than anticipated.
"So what's a hot woman like you doing in a club? Most times you're all by yourself, ignoring advances from dudes," she said finally. "Are you married?"
I laughed at that one. "No, Emma. I'm single."
"That's impossible," and I turned to consider her eyes widening. "How can you be single?"
"Hmm…by preference, perhaps?" my long red painted nails tapped the red rubber casing on my steering wheel.
"What are you waiting on then?" Someone blared their horn.
"What about you?" I turned the table on her now, "are you committed or…"
"I'm single…" eyes turned out the window, her fingers played with the door handle, "long story…" and then her mobile began to ring. Patting her pocket, she slid it out then accepted the call. "Yeah kid…" my gaze rested on her as she focused on the conversation. "Yeah, how's everything over there? Cool…bed at nine, remember that, okay?"
I considered her as she disconnected the call, hearing a sigh as Henry's face filled my mind. "Sibling?" I pretended to be clueless.
"No, my son," she appeared worried.
"You have a son."
"Yeah…"
"That's amazing…"
"Considering that his mom is a dancer at a club, undercover narcotics cop by day, that's not exactly something he would tell his friends about."
"You're a cop?" I lifted my foot from the brake as traffic crawled forward.
"Yeah, I am."
"That turns me on…" It was sudden.
"Really?" shifting position in her seat, she turned to look at me, "you have a thing for cops?"
"Yes."
"Something about a person enforcing the law completely turns you on, doesn't it?" she teased, "you like uniforms and stuff, guns and leather…"
"I prefer to refer to it as me highly favoring a woman or man who's in control, someone who…knows how to do the job…"
"So you like to be taken control of then."
"I like to fight for the top."
"That's…" I smiled as she swallowed, "wow…if this traffic crawls at this pace any longer, I might have to just unbuckle my seatbelt and climb unto you because you're just teasing me."
"Easy there, dear," I was smiling. "Patience…"
"Pull over," she said.
"What…here?" I wasn't prepared for that. "We're in the middle of traffic. How can I just…"
Unbuckling her seatbelt, even before I could react to the sudden change, Emma's hand reached out for me. And grabbing my shoulders, I was pulled roughly towards her as she crushed those soft lips unto mine. The feeling was overwhelming at first, so breathtaking that we were forced to pull away as our eyes searched each other, lips parted. And then moving in once more, hands batted wildly as she pushed my jacket from my shoulders, gasping as I finally tasted her, something I had been dreaming of ever since we had met two long years ago. Struggling to breathe, blindly lashing out as I placed the car in Park, I snatched the front of her shirt and she was pulled closer, feeling the passion within me erupt as we kissed each other hard, harder and deeper, holding our breaths as our heads grew dizzy.
Someone honked their horn behind me and I jolted out of my mind, pulling apart from her lips that had captured my bottom lip in a bite. And eyes widening as I recognized the gap in front, I quickly placed the car in drive and pressed forward, her hand still trying to pull my shirt out of my pants. Leaning in closer as she breathed on my neck, my hands shaky.
"Don't make me crash my car," my voice was unsteady.
"I'm trying but my mind is screaming to snatch you."
"Five more minutes." My chest heaved, fingers gripping the steering wheel hard.
When I pulled into the hotel's parking lot, Emma had already pushed the door open and climbing out, she jogged over to my side. Pulling my keys out, grabbing my purse, she pulled my door open and reached in to take my hand. The feel of warm skin, so soft. The kiss of the night wind. It was intoxicating. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. As I stepped out, her hand pressed the door close. Immediately, she pushed me against my car. Kissing me hard as her tongue found mine, hands freeing my shirt from my pants finally. Clothing seemed so ridiculous at this point. Almost like a struggle to breathe, frustrated in the feel of material between us. Fingertips digging into the flesh around my hips as she hoisted me up, grabbing my thighs, moving with me, grinding our hips together.
"Emma…" I gasped, wrapping my legs around her as my heels met. Hands wrapping around her neck. My chest felt as if it would explode.
"I want you so bad," she was breathless, "geez, I want you so badly that I can't keep my hands off of you."
Deep within the sea of parked cars, the heavy night pressing in on us, we continued to kiss, devouring each other's mouths, teeth grazing on skin already soaked with sweat as our clothes felt burdensome. And I could already feel myself growing entirely flushed in every area possible. My legs growing weak as fingers squeezed the buttons of my shirt. Fingers feeling for my lace vest, moving the fabric aside as she gazed upon me in the dark with emerald eyes dancing from desire.
"Let's…" I swallowed as our position began to grow uncomfortable, restricting our anticipated moves, "let's go upstairs…"
"Definitely," she agreed, moving away slowly as my heels met the concrete. Hands trying to smoothen my shirt, raking my fingers through sweat soaked hair, my vision swam from desire.
And she tried so hard to keep her hands off of me as we rode the elevator five floors up, both of us sharing looks of want between six people who kept to themselves. Then when the doors slid open, I stepped out before she did, clutching my purse as my hips swayed purposely, eyes lingering at the back of me, trying to tease her along the way.
I slid my card under the reader next to the door as her hands snaked around my waist, leaning in. Lips tasting at the back of my neck. Then when the door was unlocked, in I went with her in tow. I reached for the switch on the lamp, depositing my keys into the tray on a small table as I went further in. This was quite rapturous, the entirety of the situation that I had managed to get myself into. And never in a million years had I ever imagined something like this would have ever happened to me. To have this woman in the same room with you, this woman who you had fallen in love with, had been familiar with and yet she was standing there, never remembering you at all: that was upsetting yet quite alluring at the same time.
It was as if I had been given a chance to take advantage of the situation before things returned to normal.
"So where do you want to go, bedroom or right in here?" her eyes swept over the interior of the room. I had a better idea.
Stepping towards the glass doors, I pulled them open, immediately savoring the rush of the night wind as it swept in around me, lifting my hair and numbing my cheeks. And taking my time, I threw my jacket onto the two cushioned red sofa as she stood there watching me, waiting. Moving to the lampstand where a small radio was plugged in, my finger pressed it on as the room was filled with John Legend's voice as he belted out the lyrics to 'Tonight'.
There stood Emma, those beautiful pair of emerald eyes wide and searching my face, my body already beginning to burn up. The heat rushing through my veins was becoming unbearable by the second, my inner thighs longing to be touched by those fingers that gripped the edge of the chair.
"What do you have in mind?" she asked, gazing at me with lust in her eyes.
I smiled. "Dance for me."
She stared at me in disbelief. And as my fingers trailed a path along the back of the chair, I stepped around it, sitting down snugly as I waited, watching her with hooded eyes. "Come now, I really, really like this song."
"Okay," she said, moving closer to stand in front of me, "I thought you saw enough of me dancing these past nights."
"I want a private session."
"Your idea of foreplay?"
I nodded. And as the music played, Emma began to sway her hips, matching the rhythm to perfection, hands reaching up to feel those exposed thighs, trailing pathways across hips, lifting that teasing blue shirt as she eyed me. Then dipping low, a hand reached at the back of her, moving blonde hair aside as she slowly fingered an unbuttoned shirt. Parting the fabric to expose the swell of her breasts. She teased herself before me, stepping closer as her boot was lifted to find its way between my legs, indenting the cushion under me when she gyrated. Lips parted, I stretched my hands out on either side of me. Her right boot toed between my legs, encircling slowly as she danced. And I couldn't help it. Biting my lips as a moan escaped from within me, my eyes fluttered close as she caressed me through the fabric of my pants, my fingernails gripping the chair back as pleasure rode up like waves inside of me.
"Can I come closer?" the hoarse quality of her voice pumped passion into me.
"No," I was suddenly stubborn. And she appeared taken aback by my hesitation.
"I've been dancing whole night," she pointed out with a frown.
"But your eyes weren't on me alone."
And I watched her dance in silence as she chose to unbutton her shirt, shrugging it off as her torso was exposed fully to me, black bra preventing me from seeing what I needed to see.
"Should I take off my pants?" she asked nicely, too nicely for my taste, fingering the top of the coarse material.
"No." Swallowing hard as she undid the button and zip then. Allowing her pants to fall to the floor, my throat closed up. I gazed at her black lace panties. The place between those muscular legs that appeared so tempting to taste, so soft and milk white, muscular and desirous. Choking on my desire, I shifted position. The cushion sighing under my weight as she gracefully caught the edge of the pants with her boot then lifting it upwards, Emma snatched it, discarding of that article of clothing as if it meant nothing to her, all eyes on me.
"Now it's your turn," she purred.
"Not…quite…yet," I blocked her request, holding unto the chair as my head swam.
"Oh fuck it." Moving forward, she fell to her knees as bold hands reached out to grip the front of my pants, leaving me to gasp from the suddenness of such a move.
"What are you…"
"I am growing tired of your hesitation."
Snatching firm hands around the wrists, I tried to fight her off. "Please…"
"Stop being so hesitant and polite with me," she held her grip firm, eyes on me. "I'm here to do a job."
"Stop it." My throat closed up.
"Okay." Biting her lips, she sat back upon the carpet.
"Just dance for me." My eyes stung.
"I don't want to dance for you. I've been dancing for the entire night. I want to do everything else. To…" her chest heaved, "touch you, make love to you. Please let me touch you. Jesus." Fists clenched, she squeezed those eyes shut when I was enjoying gazing into them. "I've never felt this way about any other client."
"How do you…feel?" I asked.
"As if I've known you forever. As if we're connected somehow and I've been in love with you for such a long time. But…" she opened her eyes, gazing at me, "…you never felt the same way. Until now."
Those words had such an effect on me. Deafening my thoughts, racing a heart that had yearned to hear such words for such a long time. It was maddening to hear such a confession that wasn't real. That wasn't felt entirely by her. To know that the truth in those words rang out like a stab into my chest.
She came for me again. I fought with her.
But Emma's grip was stronger than mine. And as she fumbled with my belt, I finally gave in, allowing those skillful to unbutton my pants. Then all eyes on me, she slowly pulled them off as I moved in my position on the chair. Helping her, feeling the tingling between my thighs as she crawled closer, blonde hair tumbling down like a fountain. Fingers slowly caressing my skin, she leaned in to press kisses along the inside of my thighs, moving upwards as I moaned. Parting my legs wider for her to gain complete access.
"Emma, you're very…" my breath caught in my throat as fingers pressed into my skin, pulling me forward, and closer to her mouth, "you really don't waste time."
"Most times I do waste time because I get paid for time. But with you…" she tasted my skin, that sensitive area, moving upwards, "…I can't move slow at all. I just want to…" her words trailing off, I swallowed.
"What do you…want to do to me?" I asked hoarsely.
"This."
A hoarse mewling sound escaped from within me when teeth closed around the tender skin of my upper thighs. Slowly but surely. She worked her way up skillfully whilst I fumbled with my grip on the chair. Twitching from just anticipating the moment when I'd lose complete control. Eyes squeezed shut, the only thought that stood firm in my mind was intense pleasure and lots of it. That might have been the very reason behind the next occurrence. Because as soon as I felt a hot tongue lick the front of my lace underwear, my body convulsed from a sudden orgasm. Eyes wide, her gaze was lifted and we both sought out a mutual understanding: that the fucking heated chemistry between the two of us was surely going to drown our senses tonight.
In one minute, my expensive shirt was unbuttoned. Teeth biting the soft flesh swelling above my bra. She was hungry enough, licking her way over my body as if I was an ice cream cone. And I soon realized that my attempt to restrain myself could not stretch out any longer for the need to return favors was overwhelming. From the time her legs were planted on either side of me, upturning my face so that our lips could meet in the most passionate kiss ever, I allowed myself to lose control. Grabbing those sturdy shoulders, she was pulled down, the heat between our legs combining whilst I tasted the side of her neck, biting a jawline that was so perfect. Mewls soothed my ears when our hips began to grind in a slow motion as she sandwiched a firm hand between us, a finger boldly feeling me out raw, bear from any barrier.
My ears rang when a hand roughly began to massage between my legs whilst we kissed. Toes curled like several satisfying commas within my boots, exclamation marks danced through my mind as she muffled the hoarse screams emanating from within us. The night wind, it came in through the glass doors and hovered around us, the heat that never could be minimized, never stopped, but continuing like a raging fire. When I unclasped her black bra at the back and she shrugged it off, my lips closed around those firm nipples, sucking and tasting sweat so sweet. And whilst my teeth teased around her full breasts, fingers running pathways through moistened blonde hair, Emma threw her head back and gasped.
She was so beautiful, fresh and intoxicating, poisonous.
Her body was firm, muscular enough and soft just in the right spots, spots that I caressed with a passion driven from within me, emanating from two years of desire. Nothing was said between us, not a word uttered except for the moans that filled the room. And between the haze driven from our actions involving the biting of skin and the wind kissing our cheeks, Emma somehow hoisted me up in her arms. The next destination sought out was the small room with the bed wide enough to set the stage for our further exploration, our steamy escapade into a world that centered around analyzing this profound passion between us.
She wasted no time in stripping me of my clothes, ALL of it. And even though I fought those hands that pulled down my panties and tossed them aside, hungry emerald eyes latched themselves unto my bra. Growling, her hands were snatched around the wrists as she tried to undo the clasp in front of me. But Emma was stronger. She would always be stronger. My struggle was in vain and when I was sitting upon the bed before her, completely naked, her next move was to gaze upon my body in awe. Eyes roaming me from the tender flesh around my shoulders, to my exposed nipples, all the way down to where between my legs met the green sheet. She was completely lost in a world that most obviously revolved around sparkling ideas about her methods of pushing me to the edge over and over again.
"Fuck, you're gorgeous."
Licking my lips, the heels of my hands dug into the sheet behind me as I leant back, smirking. "Likewise."
"Where the hell have you been all my life?"
There was a slight tremor in my heart and I knew that my smile probably twitched but I immediately regained composure. "Sometimes people…magically appear…"
"I feel as if I've known you for so long."
"Oh don't be silly." I laughed nervously, gaze resting on her milk white breasts, "we've only just met."
"Maybe…" crawling on all fours, she came towards me like a wolf, "you're my long lost Princess Charming."
"I'm not going to forget that line," I said hoarsely, and just as she honestly believed that control was given to her, I snatched it all away.
Turning her around, she was now at the bottom whilst those fumbling hands were snatched around the wrist and held above the pillow. And when I crushed my lips upon hers, my mind was prepared to drown forever in the moment because it was finally happening. Pressing kisses between her breasts, soft mewls drifted to my ears whilst we writhed against each other. And when her flimsy lace panty was pulled off, I attacked between those soft legs that reminded me of rubbing velvet upon my skin. Even the soft hum of the A.C unit wasn't enough to provide the room with enough coolness. Just from the heat arising from between her flushed legs, that was enough to light me afire more and more as she dug her fingers in my hair, hoarse screams filing the space, coming over and over again upon my trembling lips.
Of course, love making had an art, and if one could master such an art, then all was well in that department. However, based on my inexperience with women, I was solely resorting to the definite way in which my body responded. I touched her exactly where my body desired to be touched, bit her in parts that ached to be sucked raw, licked and tasted, devoured. The soft skin between her inner thighs felt like a place of warm sunshine on a beautiful day within a fresh garden. And I resided there for quite some time whilst Emma pointed her toes and accepted the unlimited ripples of pleasure coursing through that glorious body of hers. Very soon, she obviously realized that between the two of us, one had been hired as the leading lady for the night. And by all means did she usurp that power to my delight.
I was twisted around as she slid smoothly between my parted legs. And from the moment her movements began so slow and steady, emerald eyes locked on me, there it was. It was my turn to bite my aching lips and writhe beneath her as waves of pleasure rippled through my body from head to toe. Over and over again Emma drove me to the edge, choosing to use kinked fingers that slid into me without hesitating. And when I mirrored her move, we both grinded against each other with such roughness, our pants filled the air like music. Bodies slicked with sweat, her perfume still lingered between us, the smell of strawberries that was attached to blonde hair and the taste of lipstick kissing my tongue over and over again.
In the end, there we were lying alongside each other, trying to catch our breaths as the world around us resumed. The hum of traffic was unmuted, cars parking many floors down within the parking lot were distant and yet…yet the heat that burnt up within us could not be cooled by the night wind or the A.C unit. Eyes focused on the ceiling, I gathered up enough magic and summoned one of the bottles containing the potion. Forgetting to fill you in on my work that had been done during the day, your dearest Regina had found a way to eliminate the problem of having such a small quantity on hand. However, as I was deeply contemplating my next move, Emma's heavy breathing filled the room. And I frowned in her direction. How had she survived through nights of clients and suddenly drifted off to sleep with me?
"Emma…" I scowled, flicking a finger upon her arm, "wake up."
"Noo…" she groaned and turned into me, throwing an arm around my waist and burying her face into my breasts.
"I'm not done," I said firmly.
Her reply was to pull me closer and clutching the vile between my fingers, I groaned in dissatisfaction, realizing that my first plan had failed.
xx
The next morning, she made me breakfast instead of ordering room service. I woke up to the smell of scrambled eggs, sausage and coffee. Frowning upon the assortment, the radio was pressed on and she started to dance around as if we were a happily married couple.
"Hmm…I wanna drive you into the corner, and kiss you without a sound…"
"Emma…"
"You make me soo hot! Make me wanna drop! You're so ridiculous, I can hardly stop….you're so fabulous, you're so good to meee, baby, baby…"
Holding the metal spoon in one hand, I was the audience as she twirled around, her blonde hair flying. Resting my chin upon propped up hands, there I sat smiling whilst the show went on and my dream was playing out before me. To have her like this, to witness a scene like this, to be part of it: this was more than enough to bring tears to my eyes because it's exactly what I had always wanted. It was perfect, warm and complete. But it wasn't real.
When her back was turned and she checked out the small refrigerator that was stocked with candy, I quickly acted on impulse. Twirling my fingers, the small vile appeared and after opening the cap, half was poured into her black coffee. The second she stood up and turned to look at me, brandishing two cups of chocolate yogurt, there I sat innocently, smiling sweetly in her direction.
"This is awesome," one was rested in front of me and I picked up my fork.
"What is?"
She hadn't really changed at all, judging from her manner of sitting upon one leg, shoulders hunched. "This room, your fridge, your car…" Emma's eyes met my lips and stayed there. "You…" she swallowed.
I smiled back, feeling really unlike myself.
"Your fancy car, your life must be so freaking awesome."
Removing my gaze from her, I turned them to my plate. "You might be surprised."
"What do you mean?" forking up eggs, she chewed, studying my face.
I shrugged, eyes lowered.
"Don't tell me that you're married to one of those big sophisticated CEOS who treat their wives like crap, never having time for them."
"I told you before. I'm not married."
"Then you must be a CEO."
"Of some sort…"
Fingers wrapped around her coffee mug and I held my breath. "Judging from your skills in bed, I can make a fair guess then that you're a CEO in the closet?"
I frowned.
"You know, big job, fancy pay checks, holding all the power but you can't really be happy because you're always hiding that one secret that can ruin you in the end…"
"What's that?" I was confused.
"You're gay," she said pointedly.
We gazed at each other for a very long time and her coffee mug was lifted, so close to her lips.
"I'm not gay. I'm just…" I couldn't take my eyes off of her mug, "I'm just…I've met you and something changed inside of me, you know."
"I rewired all your wirings?"
"Yes you did, from the beginning."
"So tell me, I haven't seen you in that club until a few nights back. And…" Holding the mug in front of her, she smiled over it, "…trust me, I would have remembered a face like yours. So why were you there suddenly?"
"As…most people would…" I shrugged, "frequenting an establishment as that would be because of one aim: to have a drink, to relax –"
"Then we just…met," she said.
"Emma…" frowning, the back of my throat began to ache as I stared at her, "I must tell you this…" the lip of the mug was inches away from her mouth, "from the first time I met you, I honestly fell in love. After then there was no way that I could stop it, turn it off…" my head grew dizzy from holding my breath so long. "And I realized that I couldn't let you go anymore…"
She finally took a sip of her coffee, more than a sip, eyes on me and swallowed.
At first, nothing seemed to happen. And then something changed in those emerald eyes, swirling around from magic as a gaze turned into a widened shocked look. Mouth hanging agape, her cup hit the table with a thud and I swear, my body was so frozen from expectation that I simply could not make a move. Blinking away tears, Emma stared at me firstly with wide eyes that only registered transformation, the realization that something was happening to her. I figured that she was most likely reliving moments from her past that were erased. Secondly, her look of utter shock turned into a look of recognition that should have relieved me, except for the definite horror of the truth dawning upon her.
"Regina…"
"Yes," I croaked, completely forgetting my breakfast before me.
She fumbled for words and in the end, resorted to pushing herself up from her chair, turning around as hands ran through such beautiful blonde hair. I sat there waiting, and as the second ticked by tears filled up inside my eyes because her silence meant so much to me. It meant that the shock wasn't only attached to the past year being a lie. But because our night spent together was possibly a regret, a regret that I didn't want to live with. I couldn't live with that regret.
"Do you remember?" I asked hoarsely.
"Do I…" spinning around on her heels, emerald eyes were wild, voice rising, "do I remember?"
"I –"
"Of course I do! What the hell…what…"
"Emma –"
"Fuck…" I watched her spin around, completely confused. "Oh my God…Henry!" whilst she pulled out her cellphone and dialed away, I blinked back tears that fell unto the table. "Kid, great, you're awake." A deep breath was taken, eyes closed. "How are you?"
Suddenly the entire world was muted as my hopes, my dreams fell hard. How could I live with this?
"How did you even find us?" she was asking me now, her voice distant.
"I did," I said stiffly, eyes on her. "Does it matter?"
"No it…" shaking it off, Emma appeared frustrated, confused, angered, "…how did you make me remember?"
"This…" I brandished the vile of potion warily.
"So you have more…"
"Of course I do."
"What happened? The curse...Is everyone alright? Did you guys…"
"There isn't much time to explain because I have wasted enough already," I stated, knowing that my voice trembled, eyes turned elsewhere, "to be brief, we suddenly came to our senses one day and realized that an entire year had slipped by without any recollection. No one remembers anything. But judging from how far along your mom's pregnancy has reached and the date, then we have realized that –"
"Mom is…pregnant?" her eyes were wide.
"Yes." I waited for her to continue but she didn't, turning away from me. Tears blinded my eyes because it would appear as if I was suddenly scornful to even be worthy of her full attention. "We realized that time had passed and we're under a new curse now. Someone has done something to all the inhabitants of Storybrooke, erasing an entire year and we have no idea who that person might be."
She remained silent.
"And it wasn't me."
"How can you even be sure?" her voice was low but steady.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You've done it before, haven't you?"
"I would never –"
"Maybe you had a bad year…"
"Why would I erase an entire year of my life?"
"Maybe you wanted to forget something…or someone…"
Her words really did get to me, and I choked on the tightness around my throat, restricting my breathing as tears suddenly slipped down my cheeks.
"So this potion of yours…" she finally turned to look at me but there wasn't any kind of compassion in her emerald eyes at all, "do you have any left?"
"Yes, Emma."
"Good, because I don't want to do this since he's really been enjoying his new life and everything else, but it seems as if I have no choice."
"We all have choices" I said flatly. "I made mine –"
"Making choices, making moves when someone's head is filled with another life, another identity," she told me directly, "that's not reality, that's a dream. How the hell am I supposed to process all of this?"
We kept our attention on each other for a very long time and in that time, all Emma did was to blatantly direct a lack of consideration in my direction.
"I'll leave that to you," I muttered, pushing my plate away, slowly getting up. Avoiding her eyes, my footsteps led me out of the small kitchen and I knew that she kept looking at me, feeling the back of my neck prickle.
xx
Just as I was throwing things back into my small brown suitcase, a boot heel grazed upon the tile behind me, just by the door. With my toothbrush poised in midair, I held my breath and waited, cheeks already soaked from crying for the past twenty minutes.
"Hey…"
I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my right hand. "Hey."
Silence ensued and she just stood there. "I'll…go get Henry, find a way to give him this…thing to drink and then…I'll be back."
"No it's okay," my voice was small now. "I'm leaving."
Two seconds slipped by. "Why?"
"Because it's my choice," I said firmly, my voice trembling.
"Regina –"
"Just…" throwing my phone charger into the case, I blinked back tears, "…run along and get Henry. Then you'll drive back to Storybrooke together. I came here in my car…anyway…so we must go our separate ways."
"But we're always in this…together. We do things together. How can we just go…separate ways?"
I didn't reply. Squeezing my eyes shut, nausea welled up inside.
"You came back for me and I'm glad that you did. Please don't –"
"I need you to leave," I said, my voice firm but too small.
"Please don't do this to me, Regina." Her voice was hoarse. "Not now."
"Do what the hell you want, Miss Swan." My tone was bitter. I tossed my hairdryer into the case and stared hard at it.
She lingered there still. "Okay."
Without saying a word, I continued to pack, never quite packing anything but busying my hands anyway. She stood there for some time, and waited. But I never replied. Something just pulled my mind, urging me to glance at the doorway. And when I did, it's only then her absence was noted. She had gone without a sound. Clutching my black lace vest that was sweat soaked, the one her hands had eagerly pulled off of me last night, tears burnt my eyes. Sinking upon the bed, I curled up in a ball and began to cry, shaking from sobs that hurt severely, feeling quite familiar.
Xx
It was almost 5 o'clock. I was on the highway, possibly twenty miles away from New York. The window wipers sliced through a downpour of rain as thick as glue. I couldn't see past the nose of my care. And still the urge to create distance between us was powerful enough.
Pressing on the radio, one song rolled into another as the glare of headlights poked through the rain. The heavy beating of water above my aching head was tormenting. It was disturbing. And when Avril's song 'Hot' began to pound through the speakers, I blindly lashed out, powering off the damn stereo. Tears were clouding my vision and it was becoming terribly hazardous whilst driving. To see only lights swimming before me as if I was underwater and seeking out a perilous ride. Nothing good would arise from this but a definite accident.
I pulled off of the road and turned into the driveway attached to a Diner. After twenty minutes, it suddenly dawned upon me that being locked in a car was nauseating. It was unbearable. Somehow the space was becoming smaller by the minute. And reaching for the lock on the door, I pushed it open then darted across the parking lot, a hand shielding nothing quite significant. Truth be told, I was almost soaked through upon my arrival under the shed just near the doorway. Hugging myself, the downpour made me shiver, the wind chilled. I just wanted to get back home and throw myself on my bed.
When I saw the yellow car pull up beside mine, the first thought that came into my mind was that it was someone else. The plates couldn't be seen through the rain and somehow I wanted it to be anyone but her. I wanted everything that had happened to disappear because it was hurting me. I wanted to cry again. She was clearly disgusted by the memories from last night and there was no going forward for us. Times like these, it's now when you call it quits, parting as awkward friends. But to return to a town where she resided, to still have these feelings for her: I couldn't do it. I couldn't go back there and suffer through knowing that I had finally managed to kiss her. And she wanted nothing more than to forget me.
Henry raced her through the rain and I turned sideways in the hopes of avoiding detection. That wasn't successful. Emma darted towards the entrance and when she saw me lingering near the edge of the building, her eyes met mine. For what seemed like eternity, she stared at me. I gazed back. The difference is quite effective to note because I could read nothing in her emerald eyes whilst I'm sure that my gaze revealed everything else.
"Mom?" Henry noticed me now. "Mom!" he ran to me and we embraced. I held him close. I could smell her on him and all of it made my eyes water. "I missed you so much. You found us. I knew you would. How are you?"
"I'm quite…fine", my eyes remained on Emma. She stood there looking at me. I couldn't breathe. "What about you?"
"One year, and so many things to tell you," he was bursting with energy. "School, about New York, and mom was engaged to this guy."
I didn't know this. You can just imagine my astonished look directed her way.
"She was coming to get me just now and on our way back, he shows up. His name is Walsh."
"Walsh…" I said, tasting his name in my mouth like bitter air.
"He shows up and he's telling her that he wants to talk. Then you wouldn't believe this, but he turned into a flying monkey."
"What." I stare in bewilderment at her.
"You heard right! And she pushed him over the balcony. And we ran out of there."
"Henry…" Emma's tone was heavy, "why don't you run along inside. I'll be right there in a sec."
His gaze moved from me to her, then to me again and finally returned to emerald eyes. "Is everything okay between you two?"
I said nothing.
"I just need to speak to Regina alone so…run along. Go on."
"Sometimes I don't know if to leave the two of you alone because you always end up fighting," he spoke the truth. "Don't fight."
"We're not going to fight," she said. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
"Someday the two of you will realize that you have so much in common. And you'd be the best of friends if you just allow it. You both love each other and you both know it. You just have a funny way of showing it but I know the truth."
His words lingered in the air between us. And when his footsteps led away, we were left alone outside, with nothing but a shed above us. The rain poured down with a vengeance, matching my mood.
It was she who spoke first.
"I kind of acted like a block of ice earlier." She waited. I hugged myself and stared at my car. "It's just that…what happened between us. You've got to admit that it was pretty sudden. Unbelievable and completely shocking. To remember all of it. Last…night." She was looking at me.
"Well if I could rewind time, erase your memories, then I would." Hugging myself, I smiled forcefully at her, tears in my eyes. "Upon our return to Storybrooke, I'll work on a potion that will make you forget everything that occurred last night –"
"Regina –"
"And everything will be perfectly fine afterwards on your part. Whilst I…" turning my back on her, my footsteps led away, "…suffer as usual in the feelings I have for you. Rather ridiculous."
"Stop it."
"I'm leaving." Feeling for my keys in the trench coat I was wearing, the wind was bitter cold.
She raced after me, footsteps clapping upon the wet tarmac. Pulling the door open, my right shoulder was snatched. A gasp escaped from between my lips when I was spun around to face her. And we stared at each other. Emerald eyes resting upon my lips. My gaze resting on soft skin around that neck of hers, where I had tasted last night. I remembered her taste because it lingered still in my mind. Strawberries and cherry lip gloss. Such a teenager still but a grown woman in every other way.
"Didn't you expect me to behave like this?" she asked, "Regina, I'm still trying to move past what the hell I chose to do in one year. Working in a freaking club as a…dancer." A bewildered study was conducted on herself, arms held out. "I used my body. What the hell. That's not the life you gave me. I decided to just do the most ridiculous job. Fuck."
"I wouldn't go thus…far to say that it was ridiculous." I smirked. "You are a great dancer."
"Thank you." She bit her lips, eyes becoming a bit calmer. "But it still doesn't make this any better. Hell, one whole year after. Things surely changed because now I have all these memories back and the year behind is was fucked. I missed so much. I missed…" our eyes latched onto each other. She stared at me. "I missed Henry and you. My parents."
Relaxing a bit, I smiled wryly.
"And then you came looking for me. And I just fucked it up even more by forcing myself on you."
"No, wait a minute." I frowned, resting a hand upon her right arm. So warm compared to the chilling wind. Of course the reaction arising from me making contact was shock. Eyes widening, she froze up. "You did not force yourself on me." I removed my hands, gaze lowered to the toes of my brown boots. "Only two can play that…game."
"True."
I was quite aware of a warming blush creeping up my neck.
"So you came here. Saw me in a club dancing. You must have been interested in women all along because I could feel you were different." She kept looking at me. I lifted my gaze to meet hers. The wind fluttered her hair and Henry came through the door but we never diverted our eyes. "You come looking for me. And then we had a moment."
"The best moment of my life," I blinked eyes that stung.
Hers widened. "So you're telling me that it wasn't a mistake?"
"Please be the one to answer that for me," I pleaded, my throat aching.
She stared back. Henry eased his way closer, hands shoved in pockets attached to a brown coat. "Are you trying to say that you came here and fell…for…me?"
"No," I flicked my eyes to where Henry stood merely six feet away, sending her a warning. "That happened since we returned from Neverland."
Emma raised her eyebrows. Lips parted she blinked in disbelief. "Really? Because for me, I fell hard for you from the moment we met."
I couldn't believe it. It was my turn to stare at her in shock. Hands falling to my sides, my heart raced like a freight train along the tracks, never stopping. Nothing could stop it. Nothing could ever stop this feeling. It's why I called her my 'curse'. She broke the first one but her existence still left a hole in my heart. It's because that void could only be filled by her. And to hear those words uttered with such honesty. It was everything I ever wished for.
Xx
A/N – I hope you enjoyed! Realizing it is quite short, please don't hate me for straying away from my usual LONG chapters. Because this was something I had in my mind for a very long time, since last year. And to finally put it into words was glorious. So let me hear what you have to say. Should I work on the other chapter or leave it here? I love you guys.