With Our Backs to the Wall (The Darkness Will Fall)

by theirhappystory

5 years ago Oliver Queen made a choice to enlist in the Army. Now he's back and things are very different. His parents barely talk, his best friends are dating, and his sister isn't the spirited little girl he remembers. She's grown up and so has her best friend, Felicity Smoak. When a threat is made on Felicity's life, Oliver finds that keeping her at arms length won't be easy.

12. And the Cracks Begin to Show

Author's Note: Have no fear! An update has appeared! I was nannying for twelve hours straight four days this week and interviewing/observing classes for a job as a dance instructor as well. So that's why this took two weeks to get done. I think I might change updates to every other week simply because I don't have time to write and edit 5k+ words within one week. It has nothing to do with me lacking inspiration or drive to finish. I know exactly where this story is going and have chapter outlines until the very end, like I have from the get-go.

I want to dedicate this chapter to Anna (bowsinherhair) because I spent all week torturing her with snippets from it and because she wasn't having the best of times the other night. I love you bb and thank you for your (totally ridiculous) enthusiasm and support for this fic. You win the #1 fan title hands down :)

As always, Felicity's outfit can be found on my Polyvore account.

Oh hey AND we have a fabulous cover for this fic over on Tumblr made by Calli (callistawolf). Head over to my blog (theirhappystory) if you want to see it.

Enjoy!

….

Chapter 12: And The Cracks Begin to Show

"Please… please... oh my God... I can't feel my legs. Can I please be done… with this workout?"

Felicity gasps for air as she's thrown to the cold training mat yet again. Now that her shoulder has healed to the point where it only becomes sore, Digg decided that they should start teaching her a few more intermediate moves. It had taken some adjustment for Oliver. He wasn't too fond of knocking his… girlfriend? Partner? Lover? No, definitely not lover. That just sounded too inappropriate given the circumstances. His… Felicity. That's really all he can think of. He's really not too fond of repeatedly knocking his Felicity to the ground.

"Yeah, you did good. Just remember the trick is to keep your weight evenly distributed."

Digg gives Felicity a few final pointers as Oliver offers her a hand, one she takes with gratitude. He pulls her up off the ground with little effort, cringing slightly as she reaches a hand up to rub at her neck. That last takedown resulted in a particularly loud thud and Oliver had instantly felt guilty for it.

"I thought the trick was to avoid getting in fights."

"Unfortunately, you're not always going to have that option. Especially given the current situation. Both Oliver and I would feel a lot better knowing you can put up enough of a fight to get away."

A lot better is an exaggeration, at least in Oliver's mind. There's only one thing that could make him feel that way about the danger Felicity is in and that's if it didn't exist. However, despite his initial rebuff, the training does give Oliver a sliver of… not exactly ease but the closest he can get to it.

He grabs Felicity's pink sports bottle off the table before handing it to her, gently resting a hand on her hip as he does so. It's a brief touch, one that can't even be considered lingering. However, her athletic top had risen during their sparring, uncovering a small ribbon of bare skin at her waist right where Oliver's hand makes contact. They haven't had any time alone since the morning after her birthday two days ago and it's only served to rebuild the somewhat satiated tension between them.

When Oliver's fingers lightly trace the exposed skin, Felicity subconsciously leans closer, following his touch. His hand falls away the next second as Oliver takes a step back, moving to grab his own bottle in order to avoid doing something stupid. Like grabbing her by the waist and pushing her up against the nearest flat surface. While he doesn't think she'd be opposed, Digg might not be thrilled by it.

"You're getting better. I almost couldn't hold onto you that last time."

"Right, that's why you had me on my back in less than ten seconds."

The water bottle slips from between Oliver's hands but he quickly snatches it midair before it can hit the ground. Glancing up, he catches Felicity's eye. She looks like she regretted the words the second they escaped, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"I mean you had me pinned. That is, I went down on you. You took me down! Oh my God! Someone please stop me."

Oliver would, but he's too preoccupied with the image that Felicity's words just inspired. Luckily Digg seems to be fairing much better than him and helps her out.

"Shouldn't you be heading to the showers to get ready for your internship?"

"Right! Yes! I need to go get ready since I can't just shower, throw clothes on, and go like some people. I'm gonna leave now and go do that. Okay, yeah. Thanks for the training. See you later!"

With that Felicity scurries out of the room, leaving behind a flabbergasted Oliver and an amused Diggle. Once Oliver pulls himself together, he turns to face his friend.

"She's getting better. I'll give you that."

Digg crosses his arms in front of his chest with a smirk.

"I'm glad my training is satisfactory, Private. Seems to have done you well over the years."

Oliver responds with a laugh before squaring off to face Digg.

"Wanna practice a little hand to hand? We both have time before work to get a few rounds in."

"Sure. I've been itching to put you back in your place for awhile now."

Digg takes up a defensive stance and waits for Oliver to make the first move, a routine they've fallen into over the years as a sort of acknowledgement of their respective ranks. When he does move, a quick right jab that Digg easily dodges, anything becomes fair game. The two parry back and forth, exchanging blows for the next several minutes in silence save for a few grunts and their increased breathing.

It's Oliver's lack of control that becomes his downfall. He takes a backhanded swipe at Digg with more force than necessary so that when his opponent ducks out of contact range it leaves Oliver's side is exposed. Digg takes the opportunity to knock Oliver to the ground scrambling to grab him in a chokehold. Struggling becomes futile after the first ten seconds because, well, Digg's arms are the size of bowling balls and Oliver's learned that once you're trapped there's really no way out except to admit to defeat.

"Ok, ok I tap out."

Digg loosens his hold immediately, dropping Oliver to the mat with a thud.

"I taught you better than that. Never get cocky and always stay in control or you'll be your own reason for defeat."

Oliver roles his eyes good-naturedly before smirking as Diggle.

"That's something I've never heard before."

"And yet after all these years you still make the same mistakes."

Pushing himself up and off the mat, Oliver grabs his own water bottle and a towel from the wooden cubby that's always stocked. He takes a swig, swishing the water around in his mouth before spitting it out into the trashcan beside him. Another pull from the bottle that he swallows this time and Oliver sets it back down. He quickly pats at his face with the towel before setting that aside as well. When he turns back to face Digg, Oliver finds his friend with a concerned expression in place.

"What? Is something wrong? Do we need to talk about something with Felicity's detail?"

Whatever Oliver says seems to spark something in the older man because his expression becomes almost eerily calm, blank.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me since you're with her almost more than I am."

Uh oh.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think we both know exactly what I mean, Oliver. You forget that I helped train you. I know your tells and I can read you almost as well as I can read Lyla or myself. Not to mention I know when you're holding back, when you're being deliberate, and when you're acting on instinct and aren't consciously controlling your own movements."

Silence beats around them as Digg looks Oliver straight in the eye, challenging him. They've done this dance before, maybe not in the exact same situation but the general concept is all the same. Oliver tries to sneak around, keeping secrets and telling lies for the good of the people around him. Diggle sees right through it. This is no different.

"If you have something to say, Diggle, just say it."

"What's going on with you and Felicity?"

Ah, there it is.

"Digg, it's just something we're working through. She and I, we… I care about her, a lot, and not in the same way I care about Thea or Laurel. I tried keeping my distance and so did she but it doesn't work."

"It doesn't work or you didn't want it to?"

Turning his back on his friend, Oliver walks over to wooden cubby, leaning over his hands as they grasp at the edge.

"I know what it looks like, okay? It's not something we just dove right into."

"Then what is it? Because I swear to God, Oliver, if you hurt this girl..."

His grip tightens at the thought. The idea that Oliver would be a source of hurt for Felicity is unimaginable, unthinkable.

"I won't. And I don't know exactly what it is, but we're together and we're trying to make it work. We've already talked about the implications and have decided to keep it quiet for the time being."

Oliver takes a deep inhale then turns back to face Digg, still leaning against the cabinet for support.

"You think that's what she deserves? A hidden relationship built on secrets?"

"She knows more about me than almost anyone else."

Digg raises an eyebrow in opposition, arms crossed in front of his chest as he takes a step closer before grounding his stance.

"Really? Does she know about Bertinelli?"

Oliver pulls a hand off of the ledge behind him to run it roughly through his cropped hair.

"No but – "

"What about Shado?"

Shado. Oliver winces at her name. It's the first time he's heard it out loud since coming home and it cuts through him like a knife, leaves a stinging pain in his chest. The air doesn't escape him in a deep exhale like it would for some, as if being punched in the gut. Instead, Oliver inhales sharply through his nose, fists clenching, before reminding himself to exhale, to breathe.

"No. She knows I have nightmares but not what they're about. No one does."

Digg sighs before dropping his arms down to hang at his sides, shaking his head slowly back and forth.

"You know, Oliver, secrets have weight. The longer you ignore them, try to push them away, the harder they drag you down. And they're gonna drag Felicity down too."

There's a pause in the conversation. Oliver looks away from Diggle, studiously gazing at the ceiling as he lets out a shaky breathe. When it becomes clear that he's not going to respond, Digg clears his throat to continue.

"Man, listen, I know what it's like to be in a relationship that's not considered appropriate by the people around you. I get it and I'm not judging you on it. When Lyla and I first started dating, people didn't take it so well. She was higher in command than me and I was member of her unit at the time. The Army has a policy on dating that disapproves of both of those things, but you know that. We tried to keep it a secret but after awhile that started to take its toll on us and we began fighting. This was before you enlisted so you weren't there for the fallout. But it was bad. We went days, weeks without talking to each other besides general commands and even that was strained. I just don't want to see Felicity or you in a similar situation."

Oliver's gaze diverts back to Diggle while he's speaking, but his hands remain clenched, thumb and forefinger rubbing together in agitation.

"I'm not disillusioned about the difficulties of our situation, Digg."

"Let's hope Felicity's not either."

"She's not."

Glancing down at his wrist, Oliver checks the time to find that he needs to get ready for work. Perfect timing.

"I have to go get ready if I want to make it into QC on time. You should do the same."

With that, Oliver snatches up his water bottle and moves to leave the gym.

"Oliver, I'm not trying to discourage you. I'm just making sure you're aware of the complications and what you're getting yourself into with her."

He pauses at the entryway.

"I know."

….

Frustration overtakes Oliver as he reads through the last of the Bertinelli proposal yet again. Various department chairs and higher ups in Queen Consolidated have already reviewed it and the majority approved, save for his mother and him. Unfortunately, Moira does not have final say. Her vote is more out of a courtesy than anything else, given to her due to her occasional input and the name on the side of the building. Robert is acting CEO and he had approved the initial proposal along with the board. The only way to prevent this from growing is if Oliver and Diggle can clearly prove Bertinelli's involvement in the attempts on Felicity's life and Karen's trial.

The phone in his office, a spacious room with a wall of windows overlooking the busy street below and beige sidewalls lined with bookshelves, rings and Oliver reaches to answer it.

"Oliver Queen speaking."

The eager voice of his assistant intern greats him on the other end of the line.

"Hi, Mr. Queen. Just reminding you of your meeting with Bertinelli in an hour and that brief performance review with the head engineer on the DefenseTech project in fifteen."

How could he possibly forget?

"Thanks, Barry. Anything else?"

"Uhm, yeah, Felicity is here to see you with those technical diagnostics from IT."

"Great. Send her in."

A smile lights Oliver's face as he hears the click of heels in the hallway, increasing in volume as the woman they belong to gets closer to his office. He would recognize her gait anywhere. Shuffling the papers on his desk around into a semi-straightened pile, Oliver stuffs them into a Manila folder and sets them aside on the corner of his desk. The door swings open as Felicity enters, file in hand, before shutting it and making her way over to the side of Oliver's desk.

"Mr. Queen, I have those files from IT about the hard wiring and systems diagnostics. We ran a few tests on the RAM speed and anti-tampering technology of some of the prototypes to test for glitches in the digital circuits. Additionally, we thought it a good idea to program a second power unit as a sort of back up generator in the central processor to avoid race condition faults. And why are you looking at me like that?"

He isn't aware he's giving her any sort of look, just that he doesn't understand what half of those words meant yet finds it a complete turn on when she uses them.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to eat me."

Oliver stands from his chair, extending a hand to accept the file from her. He haphazardly tosses it onto his desk before taking Felicity's hand and drawing her into him.

When she's close enough to touch, Oliver slides a hand around her waist and leans down to whisper in her ear.

"Maybe I do. I bet you'd taste good on my tongue, all warm and wet for me."

He revels in the way Felicity's breath catches and fists tighten in the material of his suit jacket at his words.

"Has anyone ever done that for you? Pleasured you with their mouth until you screamed?"

He punctuates the statement by gently taking her ear lobe into his mouth, devoid of its usual decorative earrings.

" No- oh!"

His actions turn the word into a breathy moan and Oliver pulls back slightly to observe as her eyes darken with lust. That's when he notices the barbell in her opposite ear.

"When did you get this done?"

A blush paints Felicity's features, more defined than the all over flush from her arousal. It only serves to make her that much more enticing.

"Uhm, yesterday with... with Thea after Moira left for a cocktail hour with possible investors."

Oliver reaches out and very gently runs his thumb along the steel bar, careful not to put pressure on the tender cartilage.

"You've got a little bit of a rebellious streak to you, Miss Smoak. Tattoos, industrial piercings..."

"Dating an older man. Wow, I really am the poster child for rebellion. You know, if I ever actually opposed to the authority figures in my life. Never was much for sticking it to the man. Unless said man was either a) wrong or b) a misogynistic pig."

He chuckles a little at that, the heat from their previous exchange dying down to a simmer as adoration and enamor take its place. He frames Felicity's face in his hands and pulls her close, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before whispering into her hair.

"I'm really glad I kissed you."

"That makes two of us."

They stand in silence, Felicity leaning against Oliver's chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her, just enjoying being with each other. She takes in a deep inhale and burrows a little further into his chest before sighing in contentment. He pulls her that much closer for it.

But just like all silences this one must come to an end and it does so when Felicity speaks softly against his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me you were moving out?"

Oliver tries not to react but he knows she can feel the minute stiffening of his body by the way she takes a small step back from him.

"It was a really new development. I had just mentioned it to mother the previous day. I hadn't expected her to set it up so soon."

"Is it because of me? I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home."

His hands slip away from her waist to grab her hands, fingers interlocking.

"No, Felicity it's not because of you. I'm thirty years old. I have a steady job and a trust fund with more than enough money. I just think it's time I got my own place."

Felicity flicks her gaze towards the windows just over his shoulder and licks her lips, rolling them together in concentration, before taking a deep breathe to steel herself for whatever she's about to say.

"So this isn't about you being weirded out that we're already technically living together therefore skipping about twenty million steps in the road of coupledom? Because every movie, TV show, and other media platform ever says that when a reformed party boy starts settling down with the good girl shit hits the fan and he does something really stupid, like heroine or a prostitute or both. Not that you would do any of those things because I know you wouldn't. What I mean by that is, this isn't you getting cold feet, right? Because if you think I'm pushing you or we're going too fast, you can tell me."

Oliver blinks at her, a blank expression on his face as he processes Felicity's words, before his features morph into an all out grin. A laugh escapes his throat before he can stop it and Felicity lightly hits his chest for it.

"Hey! Don't laugh at me. This is a serious conversation we're having here."

"Felicity, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the fact that my eighteen-year-old girlfriend is making sure that I, a grown man, am not feeling pressured into things that I'm not ready for. Do you know how incredible you are?"

Felicity's lips part in a timid smile at his words.

"You called me your girlfriend."

He did. Earlier this morning, Oliver had wondered about what to call her. Girlfriend seemed too insignificant to him and honestly made him feel a little bit like the creepy old guy with the hot young girl on his arm. But it had slipped out in the moment and reality made it seem a little bit better than it sounded in his head.

"I don't know what to call you exactly. Girlfriend seems inadequate for what you are to me but it just sort of slipped out. Is that okay?"

Felicity shifts onto her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to Oliver's mouth. He relishes in the contact, lightly protesting when she pulls away to whisper against him.

"Yeah. It's okay. Although I agree, girlfriend and boyfriend seems a little… high school. Even though technically I would have just been graduating that institution if it weren't for my genius intellect."

He releases a groan of mock disgust at her words.

"Please don't remind me of that. Do you know how often people like to bring up how young you are? God, I felt like a cradle robber for even thinking about it."

"You can't rob something that's willingly given to you."

Felicity's hands loop around Oliver's neck as she pushes onto her tiptoes. Just as she hauls herself up his body to kiss him once more, the phone begins to ring.

The performance review.

"Felicity, I have to take this. They just ran a performance test on one of the basic mechanical functions for the DefenseTech weaponry. That's the head engineer on the line for me."

With a sigh, Felicity's hands break their hold as she slides down his body. Oliver's eyes slam such at the sensation of her nails lightly dragging over his chest through the material of his dress shirt. She gives him a light shove, barely moving him, before popping up onto his desk, her floral print skirt sliding up her thighs at the motion.

"That's okay. I'll just wait here. I finished all the program coding they had me working on an hour ago. I promise to be good."

Oliver grunts in acknowledgement before picking up the phone off the receiver.

"Oliver Queen."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Queen. This is Edward Kim, head engineer on the DefenseTech project. We ran a couple very basic tests on some of the elementary mechanical functions of one of the prototypes over here in the Applied Sciences building this morning. I'd like to inform you that the results are promising."

"Great. Why don't you give me some of the details?"

Within five minutes of the conversation Felicity begins to mess around with the clutter on Oliver's desk. He doesn't mind because honestly the organization is needed. Unfortunately, all the shifting around only serves to move the hem of her skirt further up her legs, causing his focus to transfer from the conversation on the phone to the birthmark on Felicity's outer thigh. After one particularly adventurous twist to grab a file on the opposite edge of his desk, Oliver has to put a stop it. However, his attempts at control only serve to further his distraction as his hand lands on the bare skin of her thigh.

Felicity looks up then, bright blue eyes gazing at him questioningly from behind her glasses. When Oliver's fingers flex against her skin, her eyes widen in understanding before narrowing into an impish grin, a look that spells trouble for him. She straightens up from her leaning position, making no effort to straighten out the hem of her skirt. It remains bunched around the tops of her thighs, the loose flowing material making its position appear more innocent than it really is.

"Mr. Queen? Are you there?"

The engineer's voice brings him back to his conversation on the phone.

"Yes, yes I'm here. Please, continue."

Felicity raises an eyebrow at Oliver before placing her hand atop his. They're hands slide further up her thigh, the material of her skirt climbing higher and higher over the seemingly never ending expanse of creamy skin, and doesn't stops them until reaching the very top of her thigh. Any further and Oliver has no doubt that he would be able to see what she has on underneath. His fingers flex and release against her, then begin rubbing circles into her things. Felicity's eyes momentarily flutter shut at the contact, a sharp breath in through her nose as her head tips back. Oliver leans forward, lips tenderly but lightly brushing against the area just above her opposite knee in a soundless kiss, a silent whisper over her skin. He grins against her in satisfaction as her grip on his wrist tightens.

"Have I lost you to all the engineering and programming jargon yet, Mr. Queen?"

Well, it's not the conversation on the phone that has him captivated, that's for sure.

"No, I'm following you, Mr. Kim. You were saying something about circuit boards?"

Oliver tries to bring his attention back to the man on the other line, sitting back in his large, leather chair and reluctantly dragging his hand away from Felicity's leg. She pouts a little at that, causing him to grin, but then it fades back into a warm smile and she gestures with her hand for him to focus back on the phone call, returning to her job of organizing his desk.

A few minutes further into the conversation, Oliver becomes distracted once again as Felicity hops off the desk, steadying herself before turning to face away from him. As she leans over to straighten out the name plaque and stapler he has never even touched, the back of her skirt rides up, hem ending just bellow the curve of her ass. He wonders if Felicity knows what she's doing to him by bending over his desk, what indecent thoughts start running through his mind, mixing with something about electrical efficiency and closed versus open circuits coming through the phone. When Felicity flips her ponytail over her should and glances back at Oliver, he realizes that she knows exactly what she's doing.

With a soft thud, Oliver's head falls back against the headrest of his chair. There's a soft laugh from the blonde in front of him that does absolutely nothing to calm his growing arousal.

"Do you have any questions, Mr. Queen?"

Honestly, Oliver didn't fully understand half of what the engineer on the line had said. And not just because his attention was otherwise occupied. However, Queen Consolidated only hired the best of the best and this was there number one engineer on staff. If he sounded excited and optimistic about the prototypes, then it was a safe bet that they were doing something right. Oliver wouldn't even know where to begin asking questions on the subject. Financing and business contracts were okay but technology and programming went right over his head.

"No, it sounds like your staff is working hard and producing good results. That's exactly what I like to hear."

Felicity turns around to face him, leaning back against the desk with ankles crossed. Her head tips to the side in a silent question.

"Thank you, Mr. Queen. We are very confident in our work and look forward to relaying even more good news as the project progresses."

"Let's hope so. Good day, Mr. Kim."

"Have a pleasant rest of the afternoon, Mr. Queen."

A click from the other end signals the disconnection of the line. Oliver let's out a long sigh of relief, carding his fingers through his hair before sliding his hand down to cup the back of his neck. He looks up as Felicity lightly pushes off the desk and takes a small step in his direction, her leg brushing up against his knee as she rocks forward and back on top of her turquoise heels.

"Was that about the preliminary testing?"

"Yeah, they just finished this morning and wanted to let me know how it went. Although I couldn't understand half of what he was saying anyway."

Felicity laughs at that, a stray lock falling out of her always-tidy ponytail. She quickly reaches up to tuck it behind her ear and smiles at Oliver as he leans back in his chair.

"I know. You get this little crease between your eyes when anyone starts talking technology and when you're really confused you go all trigger finger on your right hand. Actually, you should be careful about that. The tendons there can become really sensitive and swell, throwing off the flexor and retinacular pulley system. It causes a lot of pain and hinders movement in your hand."

It startles Oliver a little bit that Felicity's made these observations. He knew he had a nervous tick, "trigger finger" as she put it. But no one had ever really picked up, much less commented, on it. It's something he developed from his time in the Army. Having a gun in his hands, although a bit terrifying at first as the implications that came with it flooded through him, had become a sort of control for Oliver. The weapon was safety, security. He had to focus and control himself to take aim and wield it properly. At times it had served to ground him amidst chaos. It would make sense that the habit of pulling the invisible trigger would keep him in check when frustrated.

"I don't think anyone has ever picked up on that before."

Felicity gives him a shy smile before taking Oliver's hand in both of hers, smoothing out his fingers between her soft palms. Even with both hands wrapped around it, his hand still looks so large compared to hers. Light glints off of the gems on her ring as Felicity hesitantly brings his hand to her mouth, gently kissing his thumb and index finger.

"I don't think anyone spends as much time staring at your hands as I do."

Immediately her eyes widen before squeezing shut, unceremoniously dropping Oliver's hand from in between hers and causing it to fall to his knee with a small slap. Felicity slides a hand over the top of her ponytail before sighing.

"My brain thinks of the worst things to say. It seriously hates me."

With a laugh and a grin, Oliver extends both his hands to gently grasp the tops of her arms until she looks at him. When she finally does, they slide down to take her hands and tug her forward, bringing Felicity into his lap.

It's a little awkward at first as she shifts around. Her knee digs into his thigh and her elbow knocks into his side. Oliver's also pretty sure that his hand accidentally grazes her breast when he reaches out to offer her assistance. He stops doing that immediately. When she's finally situated in his lap, a leg resting on either side of his waist as she straddles him, he can feel her body shaking with laughter.

"I love it when you do that."

"What? When I make a total fool of myself with my complete lack of filter and sex appeal?"

Oliver brings his hands up to cup her face, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, lightly sipping at her mouth, before pulling back.

"No. I love it when you say what's on your mind. I've spent a lot of time around people who don't, myself included. It's refreshing and invigorating – "

"What am I? A spring time scented air freshener?"

"AND it's something I could learn from. Communication was never my strong suit."

"You're getting better at it."

His thumbs trace across the tops of her cheeks in affection before bringing her in for another kiss. This one lingers, pushes past the point of gentle and into passionate territory. As their lips dance across one another's, tongues eagerly stroking and begging for entry, one of Oliver's hands slides to the back of her head to weave his fingers through the golden strands at the base of her ponytail. His other hand jumps down to her waist, gripping tight and bunching the fabric where her skirt and blouse meet but not pulling her closer just yet.

Felicity's hands wander, sliding down Oliver's chest and pausing at his abdomen to press against it and trace over the area. He knows the moment she feels the giant half-moon scar on his side. Not because her hands startle in their exploration or pause in confusion, but because he's memorized the places and ways that his body has been deformed. At first it had been an issue of vanity but that quickly transitioned into something else. His scars spoke of his past, his trials and tribulations, of the things he went through for a cause he believed in and a person he wanted to be.

It was a sensitive subject for him now, not out of shame but out of the need for privacy and the vulnerability they presented in him. That's why the only people to openly see them, inspect them since his return, have been Felicity and the medics who ran his exam upon his arrival home. Thea and Sara had both come in contact with them, but only briefly so. With Sara, Oliver kept the lights off and his body covered for as long as possible. With Thea, he turned away and hid them with his shirt as soon as she let him. Oliver hasn't allowed anyone to get as close to them as Felicity had that night in his room and he certainly hasn't told anyone else the stories behind them.

But Felicity's hands continue their travels, treating each unnatural bump and ridge that she comes across as nothing more than if it were uninterrupted skin. For that Oliver is extremely grateful and he expresses this by molding his mouth harder against hers, angling their heads for deeper access. She moans against him in response, hands grasping tightly at the waistband of his slacks to pull their lower bodies closer and grind against him.

Their breaths mingle as they pant against each other, the need for air becoming increasingly prominent.

"Felicity…"

Oliver trails a line of kisses down her throat to her collarbone, careful not to apply too much pressure this time lest he visibly mark her again.

"You most definitely do not lack sex appeal. Jesus, how can you even think that when I…"

He doesn't finish the sentence. Instead, Oliver grasps at Felicity's waist and presses her against his hardening length, eliciting a whimper from Felicity as her head lolls to the side. Travelling to her shoulder, he noses the loose black material of her shirt out of the way and explores the newly exposed skin. Oliver nips at the top of her shoulder before pressing a tender kiss against it, then retraces his path to her collarbone.

Felicity gasps and pants above him, urging his mouth closer to her chest.

"When you what, Oliver?"

Her fingers card through Oliver's hair and press his face tighter against her as she arches into him. The shirt she has on is a V-neck and loose enough that the top of her bra starts to peek out of it. The temptation strikes Oliver hard, to reach inside and take her in his hand. He wants to know what she feels like there, to hear the sounds she'll make as he rolls her rosy nipple between his fingers while taking the other in his mouth. The image alone causes Oliver to groan against the top of her breast where his lips have journeyed.

"When all I can think about is spreading you across my desk and having my way with you."

Felicity's breath catches at the words growled against her skin and she presses herself even closer to Oliver, every inch of their bodies teasingly moving against each other. He's helpless to resist now as his hand slides up her ribcage and cups her breast over her clothing. His eyes shift upwards and he doesn't move until they meet hers, silently asking for permission. Felicity grants it full heartedly as her eyes flutter shut and she pushes further into Oliver's hand. He begins to knead the sensitive flesh, lips moving back up the length of her neck before latching back on to hers.

Felicity breaks off from the kiss with a gasp when Oliver's hand wanders beneath her clothing, quickly pushing the cup of her bra down and away from her breast. His thumb rubs back and forth across her nipple as Oliver continues to knead with the rest of his hand. She squirms in his lap at the sensation before rocking against him in a desperate search for friction, small mewling sounds escaping her mouth. It's one of the most captivating sights he's ever seen.

"God, you're so beautiful."

Oliver punctuates the remark with a pinch of her hardened peek that makes Felicity cry out.

"Ah!"

It's loud, louder than it should be in a public office space. But Oliver wants to feel her again so he brings his mouth back to hers in an effort to muffle her moaning. His other hand, which until now had been gripping and releasing against her waist, lands on the top of her thigh and slides upward. The material of her skirt gathers around her waist in the process until Oliver can see the lacey edge of her bright pink underwear. Of their own accord, his fingers begin to trace it, following the lace from beneath her hipbone to the juncture between her thighs. Felicity jerks against him, rubbing their centers together and drawing a hiss from Oliver's mouth as she moans against it. Heat floods through him and overrides his senses as their hips pick up a delicious rhythm rocking against each other, building a pressure deep inside him.

It's the shrill ringing of the office phone that pulls them both out of their pleasure-filled haze. At first both Oliver and Felicity attempt to ignore it, mouths continuing to pass over one another's as their lower bodies insistently press together in search of relief. But it rings again… and again…

"I think you should maybe – oh – answer that!"

He hears her but he doesn't listen, hands meeting at her lower back and then sliding down over the curve of her ass and underneath her skirt. Felicity inhales sharply, mouth falling open in a silent exclamation of pleasure as Oliver palms at the cheeks of her ass, briefly gripping them tightly in his hands. He presses her down harder against him at the same moment that his hips jerk up into hers and groans at the delicious feeling of only being separated by a few thin layers of clothing.

"If it's important they'll leave a message."

Oliver removes his hands from beneath her skirt to pull at the bottom of her blouse, untucking it from her waistband and sliding his hands underneath to glide along her taut stomach. They easily wrap around her sides, fingertips nearly touching as he clutches at Felicity's ribcage and pulls her body flush against his like he can't get close enough. A series of gasps and moans escape Felicity as he massages tiny circles into her skin and shifts her against him, showing her the best way to ride him.

"Oliver! Oliver, we really need to stop. I think – ahhh! – I think I hear someone coming!"

Sure enough, the second he pauses his ministrations to focus, the distinct sound of voices approaching his office reaches Oliver's ears.

"I'm not sure why Mr. Queen didn't answer. He just got off the phone with Mr. Kim maybe ten minutes ago and he knew Mr. Bertinelli was coming in to see him."

"It's okay, Barry. I'll just go in to make sure everything is okay. You go back with Mr. Bertinelli and I'll have Oliver call him in as soon as he can."

Digg. Shit.

"Felicity, it's – "

"I am very aware of the fact that my bodyguard is about to walk in on me dry humping his best friend, Oliver! Oh my God, I need to hide!"

Felicity scrambles off of Oliver's lap, frantically attempting to organize herself into a presentable appearance that doesn't scream of sex. Her eyes dart around the office, looking for somewhere to hide but to no avail. Oliver's do the same while his hands also attempt to right his own clothing. Finally his gaze lands on the alcove under the desk meant for his legs.

"Here, under the desk."

Felicity stares at him incredulously.

"Are you serious, Oliver? Do you know what that is going to look like if Digg catches me?"

Unfortunately, he does. But there's no time to lose as a knock sounds from the opposite side of the door. Felicity dives beneath the desk as Oliver takes a seat in the leather chair, reaching down to adjust himself in his pants. He glances down at Felicity to make sure she has enough space before scooting closer to the desk. She rests her hand on his knee for a moment as she shifts around and the touch sends a small jolt through him, doing nothing to calm his currently throbbing dick.

Oliver tries to think of something, anything, to dissipate his arousal as a second round of knocking begins accompanied by Digg's voice calling through the door.

"Hey, Oliver, is everything alright in there?"

Clearing his throat, Oliver calls out to Diggle.

"Yes, everything's fine. Come on in."

The door opens as his friend enters the office, instinctively scoping out the area before making his way towards Oliver.

"Have you seen Felicity? She's supposed to be with you. I escorted her to Barry's desk and watched her come in here about forty-five minutes ago. Kid said he didn't see her leave."

Oliver does everything he can to avoid any signs of nervousness under Digg's scrutinizing gaze.

"Yeah, she just went back to IT. You must have missed her somehow."

"… Right. I'm not going to question that in fear of what the answer might be. But Oliver, Bertinelli is waiting outside your office for you so whatever is going on better not be putting her at risk."

The meeting. Truth be told Oliver had forgotten all about it the second Felicity walked through his office door. He had forgotten about a lot of things in that moment and the following ones, actually.

"It's not. I'll take care of it. If you head back to IT I'm sure you will be able to find her there."

Digg lets out an exasperated sigh, bringing his arms forward to cross in front of his chest.

"You need to tell her about Bertinelli. The board approved his limited involvement in the DefenseTech project. It's only a matter of time until he pushes for more, meaning he and his organization are gaining access and information that puts Felicity in danger. I know you want to protect her, but at this point she is in more danger not knowing."

Oliver tries his hardest not to blatantly look down at Felicity beneath the desk. However, his eyes can't help but wander to gauge her reaction. Her body is rigid and her gaze silently questions him, almost accusingly so. He wants to reach out to her, explain to her what is happening and why he didn't tell her. But they both know that he can't with Digg here. So instead, Oliver shifts back to face his friend once again and tries to explain to her with his next words, even if they aren't directed at her.

"I just don't want her to worry. We don't have a lot of solid evidence that Bertinelli is the one responsible for her endangerment. All we're going on is Karen's involvement with Solvate a few years back. That's hardly proof."

"I understand that just as much as you do. But the fact remains that we can't risk it anymore. Keeping her in the dark with Bertinelli closing in isn't an option and if you don't tell her then I will."

Oliver sighs in reluctant acceptance.

"Okay. You're right. I'll tell her." Oliver adds on to his statement when Digg throws him a pointed look. "Tonight. I'll tell her tonight."

No need to mention that she's already heard all of this from her hidden position.

"She deserves to know, Oliver. She deserves to know everything."

"I get it, okay? I know she deserves the truth. Consider her already informed."

Diggle drops his arms to his sides at Oliver's frustrated and defeated tone, realizing that they aren't just talking about Bertinelli anymore.

"You'll both be a lot better off once it's out there. It'll be good for you to have someone else to talk to. Plus, Felicity is a strong girl. She's capable of handling it."

He knows that. Felicity can handle more than almost anyone he knows and that's saying something. But that doesn't stop him from wanting to shelter her from the evils of the world. She's hope and goodness and he'll be damned if he becomes the reason that her light is dimmed.

"Now if I'm not mistaken, you're supposed to be in a meeting. Should I send Bertinelli in as I leave?"

"No! No, I'll be out in a second. I just need to gather some files. Will you let him know that I'll be there shortly when you pass him on your way out?"

"Sure."

Oliver sighs in relief as Diggle leaves the room, only to be cut off as Felicity shoves his chair away and pulls herself out from her hiding spot. One look at her face and he knows he's in trouble.

"Felicity, I can explain."

"Explain what? The fact that you are looking into my attempted murder? That it might be Frank Bertinelli, whose house I ate dinner at? That you were seriously considering not telling me?"

She's angry, livid; standing strong as her voice becomes steadier and more enraged the longer she speaks.

"Or how about that fact that Diggle clearly knows something is going on between us and you clearly know that he knows?"

Oliver stands from his seat, slightly intimidated by her current state but still trying to prevent the disagreement from escalating to a flat out argument.

"He just found out this morning, after training. I was going to tell you as soon as we had a chance to talk privately."

"When were you planning on telling me about Bertinelli and my mother?"

The question hangs between them in the ensuing silence. Oliver can almost feel it, an invisible force pushing them apart. He doesn't know how to answer because honestly, he had been avoiding the subject. When he makes no move to reply, Felicity's expression falls.

"That's what I thought. You can't protect me from everything bad in the world and I don't need you to. This isn't going to work if you treat me like a little kid, Oliver. "

"I know that. I know you're not a child and I would never purposefully treat you like one."

He tries to take a step forward, tries to grab at her hand. But Felicity pulls away, taking a step backwards and tucking her arms around herself.

"Then don't act like I can't take the truth. It's my life that's in danger. It's my choice if I want to know or not and I want to know."

"Felicity, can we talk about this later?"

The fight in her eyes dissipates for a moment as she pulls her arms closer to her chest, hands rubbing up and down on the tops of her arms as she looks away from Oliver and at a spot over his shoulder.

"Sure. Whatever you want, Oliver."

Her sardonic tone stings him like a whip cutting into bare flesh. It's flat, absent of the fire that is usually present in everything she does.

"I'm sorry but I really can't have this conversation right now no matter how much I want to. And believe me, I want to. I have a – "

"You have a meeting with Bertinelli. I understand. I need to step out for some air anyway."

Felicity turns on her heels, purposefully marching towards the door with shoulders set and arms hanging by her sides.

"Felicity, please. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I'll see you back at the house."

She doesn't look back once as she leaves, door shutting tightly behind her.

….

Author's Note: This was a long chapter too. I have come to accept that I can't write anything short. Ever. But I figure that makes it okay for me to update every other week.

Also, thank you for all the replies last chapter. I was struggling with that one and all of your encouragement made me feel a lot better about it. I guess because I know what's coming, quiet chapters like that seem super slow and boring to me. It's really hard for me to find time to reply to comments lately (especially because the system is awful) but I want you all to know that EVERY COMMENT IS IMPORTANT TO ME. Whoa there, caps lock calm down. So, yeah I greatly appreciate the input and support.

Let me know how you liked this chapter! (Or didn't. I'm open to constructive comments.)

- Bri

(P.S. I had to get drunk on cheap wine in order to write the office shenanigans. Smut is a terrifying thing to dabble in and that was only grinding. This might be a problem for future chapters. Don't worry, all editing was done while sober. Unless I really fucked up somewhere. In which case blame the wine.)