Earth, 2187 CE
Almost a month had passed since the final fight, a new year had just begun, and things had changed more than she could have ever hoped for. All life, synthetic and organic, had been altered but it wasn't the perfect world it could have been. For her and her people, this was a gift—she had thought herself alive when she was upgraded and now, she knew how wrong she was—but the organics seemed to be torn on whether it was a gift, or a curse. It was supposed to bring understanding and peace but some were still stuck in the past, trying to reject the change that had been thrust upon them.
Soon after the war had ended, the organics rallied and drove the remaining Reapers away. She understood, she had no love for the Reapers herself, even now, but what she couldn't understand was their mistrust of her kind. Some had protested against the Geths presence on Earth, spouting nonsense about her people being responsible for the change, some had even tried to attack them. Thankfully not all organics felt this way and as the days rolled by, the protesters fell silent, though she knew that wouldn't be the last of them.
She had stayed with Kal's team through it all, those who still lived anyway, and they had helped her piece herself back together after the war. With the relays still out, they, and many others also stuck on Earth, had been placed in a shelter for refugees. Niya had rented an apartment to get away from it, said it reminded her too much of what was lost, and offered her a place to "crash". It was a safe place, away from the weary glances of mistrustful organics, somewhere she could sleep without fear of being attacked. It wasn't really sleeping, "standby mode while she did routine maintenance to keep her platform running optimally" was more accurate, but it was far easier to say she slept and besides, she liked to think of it as such nowadays anyway.
No matter how much had changed or how much she had grown as a person, one thing remained the same. Kal had been badly wounded during the fight and though his wounds had healed, he was still unconscious. If she wasn't out helping with the rescue effort or sleeping at Niya's place, then she was at the hospital, waiting for the day when he would come to. She worried for him constantly, even with the doctors assurance that he would pull through, she just found that hard to believe at times. She had seen him in a pool of his own blood, surrounded by allied corpses, even some of his own team, she had seen the look in his eyes when his hand went limp in hers, a look of acceptance, she had kept him alive until paramedics came and took him away. It had been difficult then, to accept what had happened, but now that she was truly alive, it almost physically hurt to think about what could have been.
She sat by his bed today, like every other day, reading a story from a datapad, though she didn't need an external device, such as a datapad, to read it, she wanted to fit in with organics and this was something they would do. It was a treasured tale on Earth, or so she had been told by one of Kal's nurses, it seemed to be about lovers from feuding families, she could relate, she hoped it had a happy ending. She had spent much of her time thinking about Kal lately, and more specifically, how she felt for him. Her admiration for the marine who would give his life for his people so selflessly had become something much more, a feeling she now knew was love, but at the time she hadn't understood and chose to ignore it instead of figuring it out.
She first noticed it on Menae, she had been ready to follow his orders and evacuate with the rest of the team but she felt pulled to him and she just couldn't leave him, even if it meant she too would die on that moon. She didn't understand what had happened and decided to keep her distance from him, thinking it would go away with distance, but it only grew stronger and now she regretted her actions, if he never wakes up... she didn't even want to think about it any more.
This new feeling both excited and terrified her, on the one hand it was something new for her to discover, something many organics would die for and she wanted to know what that was like, to experience it first-hand instead in stories. On the other hand, she had no idea if he would, or even could, feel the same for her and that thought alone had kept her from admitting how she felt to anyone. A part of her wanted to keep it her secret forever, perhaps continuing denying to herself what she felt, but at the same time she wanted to tell the world, to tell him the moment she got the chance.
She could have groaned then, but instead settled on a small rotation of her facial plates in a show of annoyance, was this what it meant to be alive? To have such conflicting thoughts and desires? She laughed then and it actually surprised her, being surrounded by death, destruction, loss and suspicion since the war ended hadn't much put her in the mood for laughter and she wasn't even sure she could, until now. She decided then, that even if being alive meant such turmoil and constant war within her own processes, it was very much worth it. She almost couldn't believe how much her people had been missing for centuries but with that though came a realization, how many of her people had died fighting for Rannoch? How many more had perished in the battle for Earth? They would never get to experience this gift.
She decided she no longer wanted to be alone with her thoughts and crossed the room to stand by Kal's bed, gently taking his hand in hers, "I will be back tomorrow." she squeezed his hand lightly, she knew he likely couldn't hear her but still she felt the need to say goodbye each time she left his side. "Please wake up soon." she whispered as she walked to the door and out into the hallway.
The hospital lobby was full of almost every species, visiting loved ones or volunteering. With the Citadel still stuck in the Sol system many of it's residences had come to Earth the help with the rescue and rebuild effort, with the relays and comm buoys still unresponsive, she supposed they needed something to distract themselves from their worries about the rest of the galaxy.
She left the hospital and spent a few hours walking the streets of London aimlessly, with much of the rubble cleared and bodies taken care of, it was much nicer, though you could still see evidence of the war everywhere you looked. When she got tired of getting nowhere with her feelings, she sent a message off to 2033 or Kael, as he had taken to calling himself, asking if he could meet with her in person. His answer was almost instantaneous, telling her to meet him at the park that they always went to for breaks when they were volunteering, it wasn't far from here and it was a quiet place with a beautiful view.
He greeted her as she sat on the park bench next to him, she stared at the lake as she decided whether or not she wanted to do this, Kael for his part was silent, he never was one for many words. If she was going to do this, it was best to just come out with it, no delays.
"Do you think we can love now?" he made a soft mechanical whirring, a comforting noise to her, she knew it meant he was thinking but she couldn't help wondering what organics must think when they did it.
"We can feel everything now, sadness, happiness, anger, why shouldn't we be able to feel love, too?"
"It's more complex than that. The organics believe it comes from the heart and we don't exactly have those, do we?"
He shook his head, "I believe, when they say it comes from the heart, they are really referring to their souls."
She laughed, it was nothing like it was in the hospital, so full of life, this time it sounded bitter, "does this unit have a soul?"
They were quiet for a time before she decided to ask the question that was bugging her, "Do you think an organic could ever love m— one of us?"
He was quiet while he pondered what she had said, this time the soft whirring only worked to increase her nerves, she hoped he didn't question her too much on this.
"There are still many wounds on both sides..." he stood up, turning to face her as he continued speaking, "but for you, I hope it is possible."
She stared at him a while before she found her voice again, "how did you—" he held up a hand to stop her.
"It doesn't matter. You really do love him, don't you?"
She looked to the ground while she thought, "I think..." she paused then shook her head, looking up at him again with determination, "Yes, I do."
"Then I truly hope it works out for you" he held out his hand to her and when she took it he pulled her into an embrace. It felt strange at first, such an organic interaction, but it felt rather nice.
"Thank you" she whispered.
With her spirits lifted she decided it was a good time to go to Niya's place, she hadn't felt much like sleeping lately so she had spent her nights volunteering wherever she could be of help. But, Niya had been a great friend and she liked to visit her as much as she could. The woman had changed since losing Rei, she never said anything, but she had seen the way they were with each other when they thought no one was around, she knew they were close. As she opened the door to the apartment, she heard heavy footsteps before the Quarian slid to a stop just in front of her, a smile on her face.
"You've been gone a while, did he wake up?"
"You know I would have contacted you if he did."
She sighed, "I know, but a girl can dream, right?"
"I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's fine. Come on," she turned and started walking down the hall towards the lounge room, "they're planning Fleet and Flotilla, have you seen it?"
she followed her, "of course."
"And? What did you think?"
"I liked it."
Niya flopped down on the couch, stretching her legs out, "well, well. I never took you for a romantic, kid."
She sat on the chair next to the couch, "kid?" she feigned insult, "You know I'm technically a few centuries older than you, right?"
She giggled, "so you can joke now, hey? So, care to share what's put you in such a good mood?"
She pretended to think about it for a minute, "nope."
"Well, I see how it is," she grabbed her beer off the small table and pointed the bottle towards her, "I was gonna offer you some but if you wont share, neither will I." she took a big gulp and grinned.
They focused on the movie before Niya suddenly spoke, "Keelah, this movie is making me homesick. I can't wait to finally go to Rannoch."
"I would like to go back, too."
She sat up straight, facing her, "what do you miss most?"
"My people. I haven't been able to connect to the consensus while we've been on Earth, I'd like to know how the rest of them are doing."
"Well... that's deep, and here I was gonna say I missed the food." she shook her head, "seriously, human food is garbage."
"Says the one who lived off nutrient paste most of her life."
"Oh yeah? Says the one who's never even tasted food." they both broke out into laughter. This was the thing she liked most about Niya, she never treated her any different, like most organics would, she treated her like she was actually a person, not just a machine. They quieted down and enjoyed the movie, with Niya trying to get her to sing along every once in a while.
As the movie came to a close, the Quarian yawned, getting up and stretching out her limbs as she did, "I should probably go to sleep, and so should you. You've been out doing ancestors knows what for days without rest."
"I'm fine, really, but you're right, sleep does sound nice." she stood up as well.
"This was fun though," her friend walked towards her, "we should do it again sometime soon." and for the second time in a single day, she found herself in an embrace, this one even nicer than before.
"I'd like that." she gave her best attempt at a smile, she was still getting the hang of expressing her emotions outwardly.
"Good," she pulled away, a radiant smile and a spark in her eyes that she hadn't seen since Rei died, "'cause I wasn't giving you a choice." she walked away then, calling out a goodnight before she disappeared.
She soon followed her example, powering down for the night while she thought of what was to come, she had so much to look forward to now.
Authors notes: So I took the advice of a reviewer and spent more time on this chapter hoping to make it longer, and it went well, I ended up writing much more than I had expected. Hope you all like it. :)