Chapter Four
"You gonna talk about how we almost kissed," Brandon asks sitting himself right next to her on the couch. His voice was low, and deep a whisper, even though no one else was in the house to here.
Jesus had a volleyball game, and everyone else went, but Brandon had to stay afterschool, and missed the car to the game. Callie was once again with her English teacher. So they both missed the car that Stef was driving to the away game.
Brandon knew he was dancing dangerously close to crossing every line, he also knew he was dangerously close to pushing Callie too far. He didn't care. Maybe a little shove is what she needed.
"We didn't almost anything," Callie said scooting a little farther away from in on the couch.
She was tired of pretending not to care, she just simply didn't want to anymore. But it was like a broken pipe, she couldn't turn it off. No matter how hard she wanted to. So here she sat. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, and it sent chills down her spine. She didn't dare move.
"Callie," he said, his voice almost pleading. Just admit it, he begged in his brain, like a chorus.
He was tired too. As the days drug on, he was pushed later into the nights sometimes only getting one or two hours of sleep. He was sleep-deprived and going slightly insane. That smell, was it. The cherry and peppermint, that was glued somewhere deep inside his brain. He needed to taste it.
"Brandon, stop," Callie begged right back. She couldn't take his pleading tone a second longer, she would cave.
Her entire life could be on the line, and Brandon Foster would still tempt her to do something. He was poison, but the kind that delivered a slow burn as it took your life, the best kind.
"Callie. You're driving me crazy. Tell me why not. But don't say you have too much to lose. No one would know, I wouldn't let you get kicked out of this house. So what would you lose?" he questions reaching out for her. His hand dragging up and down her arm. His hand saying the same things his eyes had said nights before, I'm here, I care.
My sanity, Callie thought to herself. She would lose her sanity, if she let him in. But in the end, would he stand up for her, and save her if they got caught. She couldn't go back to another, a different Foster Home, not with Jude in tow. But this was the Brandon that chased her across town to save Jude. She knew he would save Jude at least. But what if she hurt him?
She knew she would hurt him. If she shattered her heart how did she know he wouldn't turn his back and tell on her. Why couldn't she be born into a different life? She wanted easy. For one time in her life, why couldn't something be easy?
"Brandon. I can't. You don't understand," she was begging now. Begging for him to stop, because she was breaking in two over this. Or into seven pieces. Brandon, Wyatt, Callie, Jude, Stef, Lena, and Liam, all parts of her shattered apart, because there was no way they all fit. Some she would hurt, some she would break, and some she stole a part of her, that she hadn't gotten back.
"What don't I understand? Help me understand?" he begged right back. His eyes were pleading and he was confused, on what it could possibly be. His hand reached out to cup her cheek, lightly. She leaned into his hand.
Brandon wanted to get it. If she would just tell him, he would help. But Callie, wouldn't couldn't do it.
Every interaction between them wasn't like this. Passing in the hallways he'd make a comment and she'd crack up laughing. And at lunch on some days they would laugh their way through music in the secluded little room. Her fingers strumming is playing the piano. Together, their anything was possible. It was this house that held the rule that kept them apart. That's why everything here had to be so deep.
Callie shook her head and pulled back a little more.
"No matter what way we put this, we don't work in the end," Callie finally admitted. And Brandon got it.
He got exactly what she was saying. They would hurt everyone. So instead, their own hearts should be bleeding than slightly harm someone else. And if they hurt anyone else, the would hurt even more. But something still sang in the back of his mind, Nobody has to know.
"But you want it to?" he asks, reaching out again to cup her cheek, this time she didn't pull away, but fall closer towards him.
He had to know. If she wanted it, he could stop thinking he was crazy. Sure, they still had a lot to figure out, but if she wanted them together, than everything else could come together.
Callie looked down at her hands. And how they toyed with the fabric of her shirt. She wanted him. She also wanted to tell him everything, and here anything he wanted to say.
So she didn't say anything. She just nodded slowly, but she reached for anything so whatever just happened didn't go further. She picked up her guitar from the table, strummed a few chords. The bad sound of a string breaking, filled the room.
It was a symbol, they didn't know it then, but the string that snapped, resembled a rule that had just been broken. But opposite of the guitar, now that the rule was broken, it would be beautiful, unlike the guitar.
"All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise," Brandon finished the song, a little off key has Callie strummed away, she was laughing more than practicing, but she was smiling.
They were still sitting in the living room, but the others were still gone. Blackbird was a Beetles song, that Callie's mom had taught her when she was just learning to play.
For a moment she thought about telling Brandon this, but thought against it, he would ask another question. So she settled for something different.
"When I turn eighteen, I'm going to get a black bird tattoo, I think," she said looking down at her guitar.
He had kept an innocent distant, and they hadn't kissed. Now that something, whatever it had been, was settled, they could relax again. The urgency to kiss her, to show her he cared, was gone. Don't get him wrong he still wanted to, he still wanted to do a lot of things. But he loved this time with Callie, this time felt like something only he could give her.
"Why a black bird? I mean it's a great song, but what's the real reason?" he questions slipping the guitar from her hands, and playing the song black bird again. It was simple, but beautiful.
"Uh, my mom. She taught me to play it first. So, for her. I guess he kind of flew away to, in a weird way," Callie took a breath with her words where had that come from?
Brandon just smiled, no words were needed, his smile said it all. I'm here, I care. But now, Thanks for letting me in.
"You play so much better," Callie smiles leaning back to the couch, her head fell onto the back of the couch and she closes her eyes. The music drifts into her head like a memory, of her mom playing and she begins to smile.
"You're so beautiful, Callie," Brandon mutters, but he doesn't stop playing. He just sits playing, and watches her smiling. Something so peaceful, and so rare. He feels like a millionaire just staring at her, while she smiled.
"You're beautiful, too, Brandon," Callie says jokingly, before laughing. She opens her eyes, and looks at a grinning Brandon.
"Let's write a song," Brandon suggests strumming some chords, different than the Black bird.
"Mmm. How about no?" Callie suggests back, still jokingly. She was happy, and care free again.
Brandon loved this side of her, and it was as rare or rarer than her smile.
"How about yes?" he asks with a slow grin, getting closer to her.
Like nights before their breaths and eyes mingled, but they wouldn't touch. Not tonight. Even though heat flooded Callie's body, and tingles went up her spine, and back down to her toes. Even though Brandon could almost but not quite taste cherry peppermint, a scent he had decided to label Callie.
There closeness broken, by a door opening, and voices filling the house.
Callie's face turned into a cold wall again. No one could know anything. She almost brought herself to regret the past few hours with Brandon. Nothing had happened, but it suddenly felt wrong, to get close to someone again. She saw Jude with a smile on his face. And thought about how all her thoughts could hurt him in the end.
Brandon saw it though. Callie's change in demeanor. So when she excused herself for the night, he caught her eyes. He sent one clear signal. Don't let me lose you again. He knew it though, as there private world was taken away, Callie would change. And then he'd have to crash through her barriers again.
After so much progress. So much. Brandon felt like he was back at step one with Callie again. And Callie felt guilty. Nothing had happened, and Callie and Brandon were both already regretting something.
Callie regretted letting him in. Brandon regretted not getting into her mind further. But if nothing could cause regret between them, what would treachery cause?
It would cause there entire worlds to be upset, and shaken up. But only one in the pair was ready for that.
Authors Note: I am determined not to let them kiss until after Mondays new episode next week, but I'm coming so close to breaking. But what about Wyatt? Love hearing from you guys! Thanks so much!