Levi x Hanji is probably my favourite pairing in Shingeki no Kyojin. I still don't know how this came to be. Try not to hate me too much

"Really Levi, you should smile more often, you're scaring away the customers," came the sing song voice from Levi's right. He twitched and fought back the urge to throw something. Preferably at the irritating brunet at his side.

"Shut up shitty glasses," was all Levi growled in reply. Not the most imaginative, but definitely the most standard for him. He ignored the young woman (if age was measured by mentality, she would be a permenant child) pouting next to him as he continued to count the cash. Levi Ackerman was easily the most unfriendly, unsociable and uncaring person that one could come across. There weren't many who would actively seek out his company. Hanji made it her personal mission to spend as much time with him as possible.

"That's not very mature," Hanji said, shoving her glasses back up her nose. Hanji Zoë was friendly, sociable and absolutely insane. Everyone knew that. Not only was she a mad scientist in the making (there was a reason Eren ran whenever she invited him to her lab) but she actively sought out Levi Ackermans company. You had to be mad to do that.

"Ah, Levi, Hanji, I need to go out tonight, can you close up tonight?" Erwin Smith the manager of their coffee shop and the assistant manager Mike Zacharius usually had to leave early on Fridays.

"Sure, have fun," called Hanji waving cheerfully to the two men as they left, just as she always did. Levi itched and ignored them.

"Say, Levi, I'm curious," said Hanji. "You're always curious." Hanji pouted at the interruption. "Would it literally kill you to show any positive human emotion?" she asked. Levi stared at her, but the scientist seemed to be completely serious. So, Levi did what he always did. He ignored her.

"LEVI, STOP IGNORING ME!"

Levi sipped his tea. He didn't really know how the tradition started, but every Friday evening, after they closed the shop, the two of them would sit down and have a cup of tea (Levi) or drink coffee (Hanji).

"Really Levi, why do you alway drink tea. It's so boring. You're even more like an old man, you already act enough like one," Hanji whined, drinking her own coffee. This was a frequently recurring argument.

"Tea is more tasteful than coffee," replied Levi as he flipped a page in his book. "Oh," said Hanji, in a way that Levi knew promised a blow to his pride. "Is it because you actually get hyper on caffeine?" she asked, her grin becoming even broader (more than humanly possible).

"No, I do not," Levi said frigidly, (more frigidly than usual) his eyebrow twitching. He turned back to his book. As such, he did not see that evil gleam in Hanji's eyes. As a result, Levi was completely caught off guard when Hanji's coffee mug was pushed in his face with her coffee shoved down his throat. Spluttering, he snarled at the smug looking Hanji "What the hell was that for?"

"Isn't it great?" asked Hanji leaning back in her chair. Levi glowered at her. Then the perfect revenge popped into his mind. Before Hanji could react, he quickly moved around the table and kissed her.

"EEEEEHHHHHHH?!" Hanji shrieked as she kept back, her cheeks dark red as she stared in shock at Levi. Levi smirked at her reaction.

"The coffee was too bitter. It's better from your lips."

Kill me now. Please.