Chapter XXXV

The Musketeers were making sure everything was ready for the journey. Even if it was dawn, the sky was various shades of grey. D'Artagnan was helping the Count's valet load the royal carriage. Athos was discussing matters with the Queen while Aramis was preparing the horses in the stable.

"I need to ask you something."

"Of course. First, you put the saddle on the horse, then you..." Porthos stopped his friend in the middle of his jest, grabbing him by the collar so they were face to face.

"Enough with your nonsense." Aramis broke free, soothing his jacket.

"What has gotten into you, Porthos?"

"Your handkerchief."

"My..." Aramis burst out laughing, a reaction that the other did not seem to appreciate. Porthos clenched his fists. Aramis looked at his face intently, trying to decide if he was being serious or not. "Have you had too much to drink?"

"I am completely sober. I want to know why your handkerchief was given to me by the Queen."

Aramis resumed saddling his horse. The entire situation was getting out of hand. He had deemed himself lucky when nobody truly realized the Dauphin was talking about him the previous day. After all, he was a baby and his words hardly made any sense. If only Porthos had not surprised him and the Queen on the night they had arrived, everything would be under control. The Musketeer wanted to beat himself for making a stupid mistake such as taking his handkerchief back.

"She's the Queen and you are married, Aramis."

"I fail to see the link between a handkerchief and my marriage."

"Yes, embracing the Queen at night and offering her your handkerchief are perfectly innocent actions. Everybody would do it." Porthos' sarcasm barely hid his anger.

"Listen, I already told you she was distressed and crying. I was not going to let the Queen be further embarrassed," Aramis said between gritted teeth. He could not, he would not, let his friend figure out his secrets. If he had to lose Porthos' trust in the process, then so be it, even though he hated the mere thought of it.

"Which is one of the reasons why we serve her. Porthos, d'Artagnan requires some assistance outside," Athos ordered, joining the others. He was looking pointedly at Aramis. If he could have punched some more sense into him, he would have gladly done so. Porthos left the stable, anger radiating from his body.

"This is getting out of hand, Aramis. You need to put an end to it now."

"Don't you think I am aware of it?" the Musketeer muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Perhaps things will improve when we are at the Palace, though. The situation here was a little particular."

"Nothing will improve, don't you understand? You keep on making stupid and careless mistakes! You almost make it look like you want to be discovered!"

"I don't! I swear, Athos."

"Porthos is this close to understanding it all. This close," the older spat, taking a step forward. Aramis backed away against his horse. "You have to tell the Queen you cannot see the child anymore or he will condemn you both, 'mis." The way he said his name, mimicking the Dauphin, hurt Aramis. His friend was right, but it was too painful to actually acknowledge it.

"I can't, Athos, you know I can't do that."

"Yes, you can, and you will! Your wife is expecting a baby and this child will not grow up without a father, even if I have to chain you down for the next six months! My God, Aramis! Think of your family. Your real family."

He left as quickly as he had arrived, leaving his friend astounded. The choice was so clear and Aramis had to admit that he had always known it would happen. He had only hoped it would be a few years before his heart had to break in two.

This time, the journey to Saint-Germain was uneventful. Everybody was rather nervous and not a lot of words were exchanged between the Musketeers. It was a relief for them all when the Queen and the Dauphin were safely inside the Palace. They covered the grounds with the regular guards, checking every entrance as it was expected of them. The routine was quickly executed and they were able to retire to the soldiers' quarters. They were to spend the night there before most of them returned to Paris.

Aramis was lying on his campbed, eyes closed. Athos was right, of course he was right. He loved Elise, she had changed his life for the best, but it did not mean that having to cut all intimate links with his son had to be easy. Although it sounded wrong to even think about, it was the only sensible thing to do. He would always see him from afar, keeping watch silently, just like all the other Musketeers. The boy would forget that once, a simple soldier used to play with him. He would forget he used to call his father "'mis". He would grow up to be a handsome prince, a handsome heir, and he would still call the King "father." In the mean time, Aramis would become a father for somebody else, somebody who did not deserve to be put in danger.

He sat up straight, looking around the room. Athos was nowhere to be found. d'Artagnan was sharpening one of his knives, and Porthos was staring pointedly at his friend. He clearly had not liked the way their conversation had ended in the morning.

"Will you stop sulking if I apologise?" Aramis eventually asked, breaking the heavy silence. The younger Musketeer looked up from his work.

"Apologise for what?"

"Porthos thinks I'm the Queen's lover."

"Are you?" Aramis rolled his eyes at d'Artagnan.

"Of course I am not!" As far as he was concerned, he was not lying. It had been almost two years since he had slept with her. "What do I have to do for you to believe me? It's not like you can go and ask her Majesty. I doubt she will be as understanding as I am."

Porthos was still saying nothing.

"So you saw something and you misinterpreted it, fine. But do you really think I would threaten Elise's life by doing such a stupid thing? She's the Queen, Porthos. I'd be dead in a second."

Aramis prayed the other would accept it and let it go. Hearing himself say these words actually scared him a little. Everything was becoming too real quite fast. It was foolish to have imagined they could deceive all their entourage without making mistakes. Porthos glared at him.

"A few years ago, I would have said yes. You might have been stupid enough to do it. Now, though..." He took a long look at his friend, standing there in the middle of the room. The old Aramis would have probably considered sleeping with the Queen an option, when the only life that was at stake was his. There were more people involved nowadays and even if he would have never bet that his best friend would end up married, it seemed to suit him. No, he would certainly not jeopardize Elise's life.

"I suppose you have grown up and matured a little."

"So you're good?"

"Yeah," Porthos finally conceded. "But remember what I told you. It could have been someone who did not know you walking on what I saw. Idiot."

"What did you see?" d'Artagnan asked. He did not understand half of what was being said, and it was not to his liking.

"According to Porthos, comforting her Majesty when she is in shock is not an honourable act and it should not be done. Don't give me that look," he added when d'Artagnan looked shocked. "You're the one flirting and doing God knows what with a married woman."

"You cannot compare Constance to the Queen."

"And I will not because there is nothing of the sort between the Queen and I! Look at us, Porthos, arguing like children because of a woman. Seriously?"

"Find me some wine and I'll consider forgiving you stupidity."

Striding in the corridor, Aramis was headed to the kitchen when he crossed Athos' path.

"Where are you going?" he asked suspiciously. The other was growing tired of being watched over.

"I quite appreciate the fact that you are so worried about me but you need to stop. I've had enough. My life is complicated enough without having you serve as an overprotective father. I'll be fine on my own. On the other hand, I could give up getting some wine if it upsets you so." Athos almost smiled at his snapping tone.

"Athos?" Aramis added as his friend was letting him pass. He turned around. "I'm going back to Paris with the others tomorrow." Athos nodded slightly, his face as stoic as ever. Everybody would benefit from this wise decision.

Elise was watching her brother practise some fencing moves against one of the stable boys at the Garrison. They had to be about the same age and a friendship seemed to have been struck between them. She was glad Christophe was becoming used to his life in Paris. It worried her to see how awkward their moves were and she wondered who would be the first one injured.

"You should not stay outside in the cold," her uncle warned her as he stepped out on the balcony.

"It drives me mad to stay indoors all day. I need some fresh air once in a while. Besides, it's not snowing anymore and I find watching them rather entertaining."

Her brother slipped on the wet ground, falling head first. He turned on his back, spitting out muddy snow. The other put the tip of his sword to his throat, clearly the winner. Captain Tréville shook his head.

"He will get better. He simply needs more time."

"Do you really want him to be better at fencing? Do you see your brother as a soldier?" She considered the question for a moment.

"I don't know. It has taken some time but he seems to enjoy staying here with you, which is already a victory. Your military routine certainly helped improving his character. Would he make a good soldier?"

"That's hard to say. Perhaps. He still whines too much for my liking but then again, so does d'Artagnan and he is one of the best in the company."

In the courtyard, the two young men had resumed fighting, Christophe looking a little more tense and angry at having lost the first round. Each of his attacks was less thought-through and more aggressive. He lost this second duel as well. Tréville kept on shaking his head until he decided to go down and teach his nephew some more useful moves.

Many riders entered through the Garrison gates some time later. A large smile spread on Elise's face when she recognized Aramis among them. He exchanged some words with her uncle then he looked up and noticed her.

"How are you?" she asked, his arms around her, warming her with his embrace. He kissed her hair. She had to be frozen, standing outside in such a weather. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he needed to share, but his secrets had already had a big impact in her life. Did he have the right to burden her with his own sorrow? "Uncle said you were attacked on the road. Are you all fine?"

"Yes, don't worry. Everybody is safe and well."

"Let me look at you." She raised her head, holding his face with both hands, checking to see if he was telling the truth. He did not look battered or bruised so it was reassuring. She kissed his lips. They were warm and pressing against hers. The soldier always missed her whenever he was gone on a mission. It did not matter if it was for two days or two weeks.

"I've missed you, too," she joked. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as you'll have me."

"Are you serious?" Aramis nodded. Her smile was beautiful and he knew it would keep him sane.

"Yes. There were...complications and it would not be best if I stayed away from Saint-Germain for the time being."

"Complications?"

"Nothing that should worry you, Elise. But enough about me. How are you?" He took a step back, holding her at arm's length.

"I'm fine. I'll have something to show you tonight."

"Can't you show me now?" She threw her head back, laughing.

"I doubt you want your friends to see me without clothes on."

"Indeed I do not. What is it?" Aramis asked, hugging her and whispering in her ear. Expecting a baby had made her body even more sensitive to her husband than it was before. Even with her heavy dress and her coat, she shuddered at his close proximity.

"It's a surprise," she whispered back, her lips touching his ear. He all but growled in frustration, making his wife laugh harder.

"I've missed you, woman." He bit her neck playfully and she swatted his arm.

"My uncle is watching, Aramis."

"Yes, Aramis, her uncle is watching," Tréville repeated, much closer than the soldier anticipated. He let go reluctantly. "Now that you've said your greetings, shall we go in my office?"

"Of course, Captain. I'll see you later," he added for Elise, squeezing her hand before following his commanding officer inside the building.

Author's note: It does break my heart to do this to Aramis, but it was either that or everything was uncovered and I could not bring myself to choose this alternative.