Chapter XXXVI

Elise was setting the table when the front door opened. Her brother often spent the night when Aramis was out on a mission, but these night were most of the time dull. She was delighted to see that tonight it was her husband striding in the house. He did not even take the time to take off his hat that she was already in his arms.

"What is it you wanted to show me?"

"A little patience would not hurt you," she joked, attempting to break free. She was not putting a lot of effort into it and he was not letting go so in the end, Elise simply gave up and put the pile of plates on the table.

"I've been patient an entire afternoon. I deem it long enough."

"So what Constance said is actually true. I should have known better," Elise shook her head, sounding disappointed.

"What did she tell you?"

"According to her, after a few months of marriage, men stop being gallant." Aramis raised an eyebrow, bent down and kissed Elise with all his strength. Her face was flushed when he pulled away.

"It may be true for her husband, but me? Please. I am the embodiment of gallantry, aren't I? If I ever stop being so, feel free to kick me."

"Be careful, I might take you up on that offer."

"I'll expect you to," he winked, kissing her once again. She put her arms around his neck. Aramis welcomed the soothing comfort she was bringing with her embrace. "Very well, Madame. Shall we sit and eat then?"

"One of the first lessons I've learned from you: dinner can be eaten cold. Follow me." Elise grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. He could not help laughing at her dramatic change of mind.

Aramis was sitting on the bed, his hat in his hands. He was watching Elise unlace her corset and he had to grin when she exhaled a breath of relief. Then she stepped out of her dress to stand in front of him, wearing only her long white shirt. The soldier had never seen a pregnant woman out of a dress before Elise so he greatly enjoyed how her breasts strained against the fabric.

"You're more beautiful than I remembered." Elise stepped closer until she was standing between his legs.

"Wait, you haven't seen everything."

"That is new, indeed," he said when she had also unlaced her shirt and it had fallen on her hips, leaving her chest and stomach exposed. Aramis touched her white skin with the tip of his fingers. They trailed on her belly, feeling the small swell that was not there the previous week. He marveled at all the implications behind this new aspect of his wife's body. Elise brushed out his hair as he kissed her skin.

"That's your baby, Aramis."

"I know. My baby..." It seemed like a lifetime ago when the King announced the Queen was with child and his heart had broken, knowing he could never claim this baby as his own. There had been so many episodes and adventures in his life since then. Only to lead him to today when everything was falling back into place. His wife was in front of him, she was the one expecting his baby now. This was worth fighting for. This was worth making some sacrifices.

He toppled her on the bed, her small shriek soon covered by his mouth. His hands were on her hips. For the first time in a long time, he was afraid he could hurt her.

"You are perfect, Elise," Aramis whispered, the rough skin of his fingers tracing the edge of her cheeks. She closed her eyes to enjoy the moment.

"Hardly so, but I'll take the compliment anyway."

"You are though. You are the best." Elise felt his lips on her eyelids, then on her mouth and on her neck. One of his hands stroked her stomach, making her sigh. Even after all these months, it always amazed her that such a man, such a Musketeer, had agreed to bind his life to hers. She may not be the best, she was most certainly the luckiest.

Elise was sitting up in bed, a blanket around her shoulders to keep her warm. For the past half hour, Aramis had been lying with his head on her stomach, talking to her belly. She would not have imagined that him, of all men, would do something like this. However, there was such a dedicated look on his face that joking about his attitude would have been out of place. For once, his touch, light as a feather, did not even tickle her.

"Has he moved yet?"

"Not yet. I believe it's too early."

"Soon, though?"

"Yes, probably."

"Good."

He did not see her smile at his impatience, too busy watching her belly intently. It was foolish to think that he would see it grow under his eyes, but it did not bother him. He was prepared to stick to Elise for the next months in order not to miss one single minute of this pregnancy. It was just his luck that Porthos and d'Artagnan were out of town or they would have never understood such a strong dedication.

His heart had not ached as much since he'd come back to his home. If Elise could help him like this in a single day, there was hope that his pain could somewhat heal with time. He still had to share his decision with the Queen, a moment that he was not looking forward to. Making a decision was one thing, voicing it out loud was entirely another. Aramis sighed.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he lied. He did not want to ruin the moment. "I'm just happy." Pushing himself up, he kissed her quickly. Elise knew him too well. There was still a shadow in his eyes that she saw.

"You said there had been...complications on the road. Do you want to share what it was about?"

"You've always been too curious for your own good, Elise..." The soldier tried to dismiss her offer with a joke but she was having none of it. She was curious and stubborn, he knew it all too well.

"We probably would not be married and having this conversation if I had not been." It was a fair point, he had to give it to her. "Let me rephrase it, then: do you need to share what it was about? You know you can tell me anything, Aramis. I might not like what I'm going to hear, but I've come too far to start bothering about that now."

Aramis shook his head, smiling sadly. His hand touched his necklaces out of habit. Would he continue to wear them? He was not so sure anymore.

"When we were attacked, we had to seek refuge at a Count's mansion in the countryside. Everybody was in shock, especially the Queen. We had a small talk at night, like we often do and to make a long story short, Porthos saw us and imagined things."

Elise tensed next to him, fear and anger both starting to rise inside her. Her husband reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze to reassure her.

"I managed to talk him out of it, because it is the truth after all, is it not? The Queen and I have nothing going on. But then, you remember how I told you that sometimes, I am allowed to see the Dauphin when I'm on duty at the Palace?"

She nodded, not saying anything. When Aramis had first explained the arrangement he and the Queen had, it had angered her. It may even have been jealousy that she felt at the thought of the two of them in a room with their baby. She had taught herself to let it go because she was the one Aramis came back to in the end. A few hours in a nursery were nothing compared to entire nights spent in their home. He had never referred to him as "the Dauphin" before, though. Something was not quite right.

"He is young and he is learning to speak. The first time he's said my name, it was amazing, Elise. I'd never thought I'd get to hear him call me. Unfortunately, he's learned to recognize my face as well. The Count's house was rather small and everybody heard him call for me."

Elise's hand flew to her mouth; she had to control herself to not slap him again because his foolishness was going to get him killed. They never talked about the Dauphin, it was an aspect of his life that she preferred to ignore. Tonight was the longest he had talked about his son to her. It was clear that he was proud of his accomplishments and glad to see him grow up healthy.

"Nobody understood him, don't worry," Aramis hastened, pulling her close to him so that her head was resting on his chest. "He's a baby and babies, no matter the amount of blue blood in their veins, barely make sense. But it's become too dangerous. Too dangerous for you, Elise. I love you and our baby, and I cannot put your lives at such risks anymore."

"Will we have to leave then?" There was resentment in her voice.

"Why would we have to? We are still safe, but I have to stop. I will not see him anymore. Not like I used to. I will guard and protect him whenever I will be assigned to. That's all."

Here and then, his heart started to break in two.

"I've chosen you. I could have said no to your uncle, I could have decided that dedicating my life to the heir was more important than spending it with you. I didn't. You are the one for me, and my life will be about you and our family from now on."

Elise breathed out in relief. The decision she did not feel entitled to ask of him seemed to have been taken anyway. Her future looked brighter and safer all of a sudden. Nevertheless, when she looked up to thank him, she had to notice how hurt he was. The last time she had seen such a look was the day she had first slapped him. All these months ago, in the chapel, when she interrupted his prayers when the royal baby was sick.

Her husband was making the responsible choice and choosing her, yet, she could not help but feel sorrow for him. It had to be the most difficult choice of his life. The young woman would never forgive his past actions, it did not mean that she was happy to know his first son would grow up treating him like a simple servant.

She grabbed the back on his neck, pulling his face closer to her own. As his eyes met hers, she gazed at an ocean of misery. She kissed both of his cheeks.

"Thank you, Aramis," she said quietly. The soldier nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." This time, his chest heaved, his arms sneaking around her waist, hugging her fiercely.

"I need you, Elise." He sounded so weak.

"I know. I'm here for you. I love you."