Warning: I am loosing my inspiration for this fanfiction, I really am and I don't know why either. So if this chapter seemed to go by fast, then I am sorry.

Enjoy!

Chapter 23

Broken Memories

Everything was bright, warm, and very welcoming. Thick clouds covered her private areas as she walked around on the soft, fluffy floor. She took a good look of her body to see that there was no wound, nor scars from previous battles.

"What's going on? Where am I?" She questioned out loud.

"You are dead." Stated a deep male's voice with no body to be found.

"What?!" She panicked and held her head. "What do you mean? How am I talking now?"

"You are in the afterlife, you were a good person, so you have your own personal heaven."

"But... it has nothing in it." She scratched the side of her head.

"That is because you will not be here for much longer."

"What? You serious?" Asuka queered.

"Yes, very serious."

"I can tell..." She narrowed her eyes for only a moment before a certain thought crossed her mind. "You know everything about me right?"

"I never stated the fact, but yes, I do. Why would you queer such a topic?"

"Do I... Have any family members whom are alive?" She twiddled with her hands and looked down at her feet.

"..."

ooOoO0OoOoo

"She has been reported dead for ten minutes now!"

"What are we going to do?"

"Look! The heart monitor, its-"

"The patient is moving, we need restraints ASAP!"

"She's breathing!"

Asuka's eyes slowly opened to the bright, cold environment. White coats were walking around and to her bed. She looked to where the other doctors were going and saw something big that was bandaged with a little gray top.

Hatsuharu.

She tried moving but couldn't for some odd reasons. This was one of her fears. Being restrained. She struggled to move, but a pair of hands pushed her shoulders down and tried easing her. But her heart rate was rising, and her panicked thoughts came to her on the very many possibilities that might happen but probably won't happen in a hospital, like dissection. Her eyes were wide and blood shot as her breathing increased to try to get out of the restraints.

"Please calm down Ms. Asuka! You're making it worse for yourself!" The nurse warned her as she kept pushing down on her shoulders.

"Get the sedative in her system now!" ordered a doctor.

Asuka panicked more and kept struggling under the pain killer and numbness over her body. The oxygen mask muffled her cries of help; she finally worked a hand out of a restraint and tore off the oxygen mask.

"LEE!" She cried out, hoping and praying he wasn't too far away.

Only a nanosecond passed before the door was broken off it's hinges with a panicked Lee at the doorway.

"What's going on!?" Lee asked the doctors.

"Please sir, you must-" one of the nurses started pushing him out the door but failed as Lee kept his ground.

"Are those restraints? She's panicking because of those!" Lee scolded the doctors.

"You heard him! Get her out of those restraints!" The doctor ordered as the nurses soon started getting to work on the leather restraints.

"Now please sir, you must leave, please understand." The nurse started pushing him out of the room again and he allowed it.

"Get that door back up! We can't afford to move her yet." The nurse followed the doctor's orders and had three nurses working on it right away.

The restraints were off her now and she started to ease and let the sedative work its way through her system with the help of the IV. They put the oxygen mask back around her mouth and got her heart stable again.

"Heart rate stabilizing, breathing normal now, brain activity decreased. She is stable now." One of the doctors's reported calmly.

"Alright, Asuka, you'll be asleep for a few hours, and then you'll wake. Understood?" The nurse reassured her. Asuka nodded and let her tired eyes shut and into a blissful sleep.

ooOoO0OoOoo

Lee was outside in a waiting chair with his bandaged hands on his knees and has been tapping his foot for the past two hours since he barged in after Asuka cried out to him. He's been worried sick for her ever since then and wanted to be in that room so badly after the doctor's messed up by restraining her with leather straps.

Neji was leaning up against the wall across from Lee with his arms crossed and his eyes closed. He told Lee not to go in even if Asuka called him, but he ignored him and went in anyway. Believe it or not, Neji is worried about Asuka too, but hides it better than Lee. He didn't know if he was mad or if he should be thankful to her when she wakes up.

Some of the doctors and nurses started leaving the room, some of them with a smile of accomplishment and the rest of them had a plain look on their faces like they've done this before and had to do other stuff.

Lee stood up as a nurse went up to him and Neji. "We have good news, and bad news... which one do you want to hear first?"

Lee averted his eyes, not knowing what to pick. "Bad news first." Neji answered for him.

The nurse took a deep breath and looked over her clipboard. "Due to her injuries, she might have a hard time moving after she fully recovers, meaning it would be near impossible for her to be a ninja."

Lee clenched his fists and kept a straight face, just itching to hear the rest.

"As for Hatsuharu, he won't live past two months at max." The nurse informed them.

Neji kept his arms crossed and his face calm. "What is the good news?"

"The good news being, there is a chance for Asuka to be a ninja, if she recovers well and not move. Reports say she tends to escape hospitals before she fully recovers, so the best thing for her is to have people in her room at all times to make sure she won't escape. Understood?"

"So, there is a chance?" Lee asked with a hint of hope in his worried voice.

"Yes, but it will take her up to six weeks to heal, records also show she can heal quite nicely, faster than others by five to ten percent faster, so she might be out sooner than expected." The nurse ended with a smile, then looked over her clipboard again, forgetting something. "Oh, and she was reported dead for a full ten minutes."

Lee and Neji's mouths were gaped. How could she have forgotten something like that? They both thought in unison.

"Other good news, she will wake up within six hours, so visitors are allowed till then." The nurse ended again with a cheerful smile before walking off.

Lee and Neji exchanged looks for a moment before Neji spoke. "Go ahead, I'll visit after you." Neji gestured to her room.

Lee smiled and thanked him before going into her room. He closed the door carefully behind him and took a better look of his sleeping friends.

Asuka was in that white hospital gown she always hated wearing because it was too thin for her taste. Her dark purple hair sprawled all over her pillow. And the bed sheet was over her whole body up to her neck.

As for her companion, Hatsuharu, he was in the worst shape in his life. His whole body except his head was covered in bandages and casts that reeked of antibiotics. His heart monitor seemed to have a slower beat than Asuka's.

Lee took a slow; deep breathe before taking a seat next to her. He took her bandaged right hand and stroked his thumb over her hand. He looked over to her left hand with the IV, and the hand she carved Gaara's "love" symbol on her hand.

"I still can't believe you did that to yourself, I never thought you would either." He brushed the stray strands of hair off her face and stroked her cheek. "Your skin is still as soft as I remember." He smiled and coaxed her arm. "I also can not believe you actually stared at the face of death and walked away, I wish you would quit doing things that make me worry so much about you."

He kissed her hand and placed it on his face, remembering her warmth with his, even with her bandaged hands, he could still remember her warmth like it was yesterday... because it was yesterday he last felt her warmth with a hug.

"Asuka, I am happy you'll live, but..." He looked over to Hatsuharu and averted his eyes back to her. "I wish the best for Hatsuharu, I really do." He got up and kissed her forehead before leaving.

He closed the door behind him and began to walk outside. I want to make more memories with you Asuka, I prayed you would still be alive because you are my best friend. He closed his eyes and exhaled as he continued out of the hospital.

Neji came soon after Lee left and into Asuka's room and shut the door behind him. He took a good look of her and Hatsuharu before taking a seat next to her and cupping his face into his hands. "Asuka... why didn't you just give in after you used the inner gates... why?" He looked at her, desperate for an answer even though he knew she wouldn't be able to answer.

"You are an idiot... do you know how badly I wanted to jump in and beat that sand kid's head in after he tossed you around?" He took his headband off and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know if I'm mad at you or... glad that your alive or... if I should be thanking you."

He brushed her hand and held her fingers. "I know I don't act like this when I'm around you, it's because I always have to be serious to keep the group together it seems like... If I don't then we might get hurt or in trouble... I hope you know this." He lowered his head and gently squeezed her fingers.

"Neji..." She gave him a gentle squeeze back and shifted.

"Asuka? Are you awake?" Neji asked desperately, getting up and leaning over his teammate; placing a hand on the side of her face and tilted her head so then she would be facing him.

Her eyes stayed close, irises lay still under her eyelids, not moving one bit.

"No... of course not." Neji sat back down and held her fingers. "You were just sleep talking..." He laughed to himself under his breath. "You know, sometimes I wish I knew what you were dreaming about." His mind wondered back to the real reason why he was here and let go of her hand.

"Like I said, I don't know if I should be thanking you or be mad... about nearly killing Hinata. I've told you why our clan is mad at the main and branch house! I know I have." His eyes narrowed to her sleeping face and continued. "Then again... If you haven't stopped me... the main branch probably would have killed me as punishment..."

He averted his eyes and held her hand to his chest. "So... thank you, but destiny can not be changed, I know this all too well." He put her hand back to her side and got up to leave. "And, I wish the best for you and Hatsuharu, even though Hatsuharu's fate is already sealed..." He left her room and went to go outside.

Hours have past since her last visitor, Neji, came by. She was still asleep in the hospital bed, due to wake up within about two-three hours tops. She was a heavy sleeper, so of course she's going to sleep her full time. During her rest, two Chūnins watched the door and the window to make sure she doesn't try to leave.

A visitor came in and set a single white violet in a small vase, then stood next to her. "Hey... I never did thank you for saving me, Naruto, and Sasuke back in the forest of death..." Sakura put her hands behind her back and smiled down at her. "So, I hope you get better soon, I know violets are you favorite, but if I had brought you a purple one... I'll just leave it at that." she giggled and started to leave. "Get better soon you two." She left and closed the door behind her.

About two more hours past, it was nighttime now and she was due to wake up any minute now.

The door creaked open and light footsteps entered. The Chūnins outside her door and window were murdered by being crushed. The person who had done this stood next to her bed with cold eyes, he intended to kill her tonight. He raised his hand and the sand hovered above her body.

Her eyes slowly began to open and see who it was. "Gaara... what are you doing?" She tried moving, but her body was still numb and cold, despite the blankets covering her.

"I'm here to kill you." He responded darkly.

"Why?" She queered as sand began to wrap around her arms.

"I need to finish what I started." He replied simply.

"There's more behind it." She stated as she struggled to sit up and get a better look of him.

"No there isn't, I simply kill because that is what I was born to do." He narrowed his eyes.

"Where would you get that idea from?" She asked as the sand crept up her limps.

"When my own father tried killing me with assassin's six times." He answered coldly.

"Why would he do that?"

"Why do you care?! Why do I feel like you of all people actually care?!" He let go of his sand grip on her and held his head. "Nobody has cared for me! I've been alone for the past twelve years! My whole life!" He shook out the memories. "And now, since I have nobody, I love only myself." He pointed to the mark on his forehead.

"Why were you alone?"

"Because..." He didn't know if he could or should tell her or not.

"You have a tailed demon in you, don't you?" She guessed. His eyes shot wide and looked at her with disbelief. "When I was using my Genjutsu, I saw something that shoved me out of your mind and hurt mine in return. Only a Jinchūriki can do that."

He lowered his head, then gained his confidence again and raised his head. "Yes, the villagers feared and avoided me my whole life because of the one tail, Shukaku, being sealed within me when I was born."

"Gaara..."

He seemed more attentive, "What?"

"Come here..." She gently swung her numb legs off the bed and stood on the cold floor with her bare feet and stumbled towards him.

He backed away from her like she was sick with a deadly disease. "Get away from me!" He wanted to move his arm to hit her with sand, but couldn't bring himself to do it for some odd reason... so he just kept backing up away from her.

"Stop moving..." She told him as she held her side in pain, but kept advancing to him with slow steps.

He finally got to the wall and was trapped now. "What do you want from me!?" He asked as he closed his eyes and cling to the wall.

Her skinny arms laced behind his neck and pulled him in with her head in his shoulder. She let her weight fall from under her but didn't fall to the floor. Gaara was in shock. He didn't know what to do. He hadn't done this in years. He didn't even know what the name of this motion was.

"What... are you doing?" Gaara rasped.

"I'm hugging you..." She tightened her hold and let him carry all of her weight. "Even though I'm in great pain right now... you need one... just like the first time I met a Jinchūriki, he was alone, sad, depressed, didn't know what to do with himself. We were kids then, I hugged him, and he felt better. Now, we're friends." She kept her soft grip on him, making sure not to let go.

"So you think you can just win me over? You can just hug me and we can be friends?!" He asked coldly.

"... Yes. I want to be your friend."

"But I basically killed your partner-"

"Shut up... I know... I don't know his condition right now but... It was my own fault." Burning tears rimmed her eyes. "He was getting old, and I knew it. But I kept him by my side because I love him, and he loves me." The tears slid off her cheeks and onto Gaara's neck, making him tense up.

"Why... do you love a dog?"

"Because, he's been there for me ever since I could remember, he's one of the first memories I have." She put her hand on the back of his head and started petting him.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you telling me this?" His eyes were still wide as he just stood there and let her hang on him. He lowered his head and clenched his fists. "I am no human... I am a monster."

" No your not!" She scolded him, "Just hug back damn it..." She would have petted his back, but there was a giant sand gourd in the way, so she kept playing with his blood red hair.

He did as she said, hesitantly bringing his arms around her waist and squeezed gently.

She cringed in pain and scratched his head lightly.

"You sure-"

"I don't care about the pain... you need this." She kissed his cheek and buried her face back in his shoulder.

He was even more confused now, not knowing what to do or how to handle this. So, he just used his sand and put her back in her bed.

Her eyes were closed shut and fists gripped so tight it made them turn white. She tried calming herself by carful breathing and clearing her mind.

Gaara took off his sand gourd and set it against the wall as he took a seat. He averted his eyes for a moment and asked, "What... pain... did I cause you?"

She eased her pain by ignoring it and looked around with a hint of hurt; picking up the clipboard on her bedside table and looking it over. She laughed under her breath and told him. "Let's see... two crushed vertebrae, shorter by one inch."

She sighed and tilted her head up. "Like I'm not short enough as is..." She looked back at the clipboard and continued. "Three cracked vertebrae, five cracked ribs, three broken ribs, both thigh bones cracked, right shin broken, left shin cracked, and skull cracked in three different places. Dang... you did a number on me." She laughed weakly as she looked at Gaara.

His eyes were full of curiosity. "Is your pain funny?"

"No... no it isn't, it's just that I usually get reports like this, but down graded by about two stars. You gave me a five star report, which means either I was dead or I was about to die... Look, I did die, for about ten minutes." She pointed out and showed him.

That would explain that weird dream I had...

She shook the thoughts out of her head and continued. "Internal bleeding, alignment slightly off with small intestines in the rib cage... this is the worse report I've ever read." She laughed more and held her ribs in pain.

"You've had this happen before?" Gaara queered.

"Yah... I'm accident prone, so I usually deal with stuff like this in two or three stars... this is the first five star report I've read." She scratched the back of her head and continued. "Will live and become a Shinobi if get plenty of rest and does not move much... oops, I've already moved."

Gaara shifted in his seat and waited patiently for the rest.

"Heart and lungs embedded with bone fragments, do not let walk around for more than five minutes when legs heal." She rose her eyebrows in agreement and continued on to the next page. "Let's see... Hatsuharu's report..." She went from a smile to worry, "Every bone crushed... pieces larger than a coin imbedded within the heart and lungs..." She bit her lip and continued, fear rising in every breath. "Paralyzed from the neck down... wont live longer than two months... inform owner after she fully recovers in six weeks..."

She lowered her head and let her bangs fall over her face, covering her eyes from the rest of the world. Asuka gripped the clipboard and broke the cork board into pieces. Her muscles ached, but she ignored her muscles cry for rest and threw the broken clipboard as hard as she could into the wall.

The clipboard embedded into the wall and stayed there with the paper still hanging from it. A loud echo rang throughout the room and made her eardrums ring. She ignored the sound and sunk down into her sheets, muffling her silent crying.

Gaara just sat there... awkwardly not know what to do of this situation. He remembered whenever Temari would be in a bad mood, Kankuro would tell her all would be fine... or just yell at her before Gaara heard her crying, afraid what he would do if he got a headache. He remembered watching them with his sand, Kankuro would comfort and hug her until she stopped crying... should he do the same to Asuka? He didn't know...

Kill this weak female Gaara... Now is your chance to spill blood for my gratitude.

I don't know... Gaara responded to his darker thoughts, She seems to be suffering enough because of me.

Then put her down like the mutt she is! She is human, no match for a monster like you.

I am a monster... He lowered his head and ignored Asuka's crying.

Exactly, what you've done to this female is like seeing a animal in pain, you HAVE to put it out of its misery.

"I am a monster..." He rasped.

Asuka was still crying and shaking under her covers. The pain from her injuries surged through her like a lightning rod attracting lighting, but she ignored the pain as much as she could as the stinging tears scarred her cheeks. But she still heard what Gaara said and pulled herself together and faced him again. "What did you say? You're a monster?"

He nodded and clenched his fists. "I have a monster... My purpose is to kill... I must satisfy... my hunger..." The sand rose again and over Asuka's body.

She took a deep breath and stayed calm. "Gaara, what's sealed inside of you doesn't make you," She reached out and held his clenched hand. "There are two separate minds in you, remember which one is yours, just because you have a terrible past, doesn't mean you have to let that affect your future."

"SHUT UP!" The sand surrounded her numb body, slowly squeezing her broken bones. "You don't know what I've been through! I've told you but you don't know my pain! Don't you dare act like you know!"

"You're right, I can't relate, because I don't remember one thing before I was four." The sand started to ease up and slowly fall to the ground. "But the Hokage gave me a home, and let me go when I was six, I lived with my partner, Hatsuharu ever since I could remember. I love him, and because of me... He wont live much longer."

"Get to the point!" He clenched his fists tighter.

She held his fist still and rubbed his hand with her thumb. "Sorry, I started rambling. I can feel your pain, if you let me."

"What do you mean?" The sand was nearly entirely off her now.

"With my Genjutsu, if you trust, and let me enter your mind. I can feel your pain, and see glimpses of your past. It won't hurt you, but it will hurt me." She looked into his cold eyes with warm welcoming ones and tried convincing him with her stare.

"How did you learn this?" His eyes softened a little, with a hint of curiosity.

"I got into the Hokage's forbidden scrolls at one point when I was a kid and learned how to regain and look into other people's memories, trying to find a way to regain my own. But I failed at that; so maybe I can help you out if I know your pain." She smiled warmly at him.

Don't trust her! Your only purpose is to kill, not be friends with this harpy!

He lowered his head and let his hair overshadow his eyes. "Alright, but I don't trust you, but I will let you enter at your own risk." He scooted closer to the bed and kept his head down.

"Alright, I can deal with that." She scooted closer and placed her hands on the side of his head. "In order for me to do this, you have to look into my eyes." She messaged his temples, melting his anger and stress away.

He sighed and did as he was told, looking into her eyes and completely empty with thought. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, only to show him that her eyes have supposedly turned completely white. His eyes went wide and empty as she entered his memories.

Everything was dark again, eerie, and quiet; just like last time.

I hope I will be able to help him, if I can't, then I don't know what I'll do... Asuka commented, knowing Gaara won't be able to hear her.

"Ha ha! You can't get me!" A young, childish voice called out.

"Hey! I had it first!" Another child cried out playfully.

Asuka had successfully entered a memory, sand filled the grounds as children played in a playground of some sort at a school. By the looks of it they were keeping the ball away from one of the kids with dark brown hair and playful eyes.

There's the kids... but where's Gaara? She looked around the playground a bit more thoroughly in the vivid memory and spotted a tree with some nice shade. There was a swing attached to it with a child with red hair and sea-foam green eyes, holding a teddy bear in one hand and the swing with the other. He looked rather sad and lonely... Like Naruto when he was kid.

So, this is where it all started... he was alone when he was a kid. But this can't be the source of his bloodthirsty hunger, I have to find a different memory. Before she was about to leave, some of the kids gasped in horror. She whipped around and saw that the little blue ball had landed at Gaara's feet.

"Oh no!"

"How are we going to get it back?"

"Maybe we can just leave it there..."

Gaara's eyes filled with curiosity, along came a small smile as he got out of his seat and picked up the rubber ball. "Here... you want it right?" The young Gaara offered to the frightened kids.

"No!"

"Stay back!"

"RUN!"

Before Gaara knew it, all the kids started running away from him. Abandoning him in the now ghostly playground. He sighed and lowered his head as he dropped the ball and tightened his grip on the brown teddy bear. "Why do they always leave?... What did I do wrong?"

Asuka frowned, wanting to give the young Gaara a hug and make it all better for him. But she couldn't, and she knew it. I need to find another memory, the reason why he's the way he is now. She left the lonely memory and soon after found another one.

It was night, and by the looks of it, Gaara was the same age as he was in the last memory; and he was on the roof tops with somebody else whom was masked.

The masked man threw kunai and shuriken at Gaara. But his sand quickly covered him like a shield. With a thrust of Gaara's hand, the sand covered the masked man and raised him a few feet above the ground; crushing the hostile man in his burning sand. He closed his hand completely, forming a fist and completely crushing the man.

Well... I see where Gaara got his start of violence from. Asuka commented awkwardly. This memory seemed darker, as in it was hard to see. It seems that he's tried really hard to forget this memory, I can't blame him either. She sighed and went to find another memory. It seems like I have been skipping a few things... I better start looking a bit more thoroughly.

"Asuka!"

Her eyes shot wide of just who said her name. Was that... Gaara? As a kid? Crying out my name? She quickly looked for the source of the young Gaara.

"Gaara!"

Was that... me?! Crying out his name? She quickly found the memory and looked into it. This was another memory that Gaara had tried to forget, it was foggy and dark. That's... me... as a kid. She choked out. Is this... where I was before? In the village hidden in the sand? She desperately tried her hardest to make out what was happening.

There was either a young man or a teen boy, carrying the young Asuka in his arms. The young Asuka clawed at her carrier, desperate to get out of his arms. She reached out to the young Gaara and cried out his name once more.

Gaara tried running after her, but he was still a kid, his young legs couldn't carry him far. Tears brimmed his eyes as he continually tried to keep up to her captor.

The memory then faded completely dark. She knew what this meant. Her chakra was running low now, she had spent enough time here and was now being sucked out of his mind and back into reality.

Both Asuka and Gaara's eyes closed as soon as the Genjutsu disappeared. Gaara still sat there as Asuka got back into her bed and held her head.

"Well? What did you find? Do you understand my pain now?" Gaara hammered her with questions.

Her eyes were wide now, hands shaking and eyes twitching. "Y-yes... I have an... un-understanding..." She pulled together whatever was left of her strength and held Gaara at shoulders length. "D-do you know me?"

He raised an eyebrow-less muscle and looked at her with confusion. "How would I know you? We just met a few days ago."

"Gaara, I saw a memory of a child that looked an awful lot like me, being carried off by a stranger and yelling out your name, and you were yelling out my name while running after me. Do you know me?!" She squeezed his shoulders, desperate for an answer.

His eyes shot wide. "I... I remember of a familiar memory of your description..." He, without question, ran a hand through her hair. "Your hair... feels the same... what is your name?"

"Asuka! It's Asuka... Do you know me?!"

Both of them tried keeping their breathing calm and collected. But tension so thick and tight it felt like they could use some oxygen tanks for their head's lack of air. He licked his lips and gently gripped her hair in his fist. "Yes."

I loved all the positive feedback I have gotten on this story, and believe me, I WANT to keep writing on this. It's just that… my mind goes blank when I try writing the next chapter. So I don't know what the deal is. Like, if it's because of my new project, school, stress, prom, why is being in high school so hard and… stupid? Why?

Have an epic April Fools day!

If I even have a chapter up by April 8, 2013. Then I would surprise myself… I really would. I don't even know what to call the next chapter. Anybody got any advice on writers block? I have the story planned out, it's just that my brain hates me and refuses to work with me when it comes to detailing a story.