Hotch stands alone on the other side of the closed curtain bracing himself for the confrontation sure to come. Spencer may normally be even-tempered and fairly easy to handle, but somehow he doesn't see the often child-like Dr Reid dealing with this situation in the same mature manner he'd expect from the other Agents on the team. Since he's been an official part of the BAU this is, surprisingly enough, the first time Reid has been seriously hurt. There have been incidences sure, but nothing a band-aid and good pep talk hasn't fixed. They're in unchartered territory here and like he'd said to Gideon back at the house, he's never taken the time to teach Reid how to deal with the job emotionally. Now his hand is being forced Hotch fears it's going to be a matter of too little, too damn late.
Pushing the curtain aside and walking into the cubical guilt at what he's allowed to happen floods his body the second he sets eyes on the shaking form in the middle of the bed. For three years Hotch has done his best to protect Reid, keep him out of harm's way as often as possible, yet, proof of his failure is right there in front of him. It isn't a reflection on JJ or her abilities as a field agent, but he'd usually pair Reid with a more qualified Agent, someone like him or Morgan who had extensive experience of dangerous situations, but Hotch didn't see the harm in letting them interview a potential witness together. Like she'd said after it was confirmed Reid was missing, that was all Hankel was supposed to be, a god damn witness. Once it became clear he was the unsub JJ had said Reid had been determined to not let him escape, sure that Hotch would come looking for them. Hearing that had Aaron sucking in a breath to prevent the maelstrom of emotions already swimming inside his head from taking him over completely. That's how much faith Reid had in him to protect him and he'd let him down spectacularly.
With his failure weighing heavily on his heart Hotch stops staring and takes another couple of steps forward bringing him within arm's reach of Reid, still scrunched up on the bed. Unlike a few minutes ago when his presence had been largely ignored this time Spencer looks up and catches his eye.
Unfolding his long legs and stumbling forward, leaning mostly on his good foot, Reid stands listlessly before him, "Are we going?"
Concealing his mild surprise at the absurd question, Hotch deflects by stating the obvious. "You haven't been seen yet."
Reid shrugs in response, "I'm okay, just really tired. I want to go home now."
The obvious shaking in his voice is almost Hotch's undoing, and he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at Reid's childish ignorance of the situation. Taking a closer, more assessing look to determine his condition for himself Hotch notices his pupils are dilated and unfocused.
"Reid you need to let the doctors check you over, you have a head injury at the very least -"
"No Hotch!" Reid shouts, voice breaking on his name.
"Spencer," Hotch counters calmly, recognising he's one foot stomp away from a full blown temper tantrum.
"I just really need to leave." Reid eventually settles on telling the floor, his whole body shaking with the effort of admitting that.
They stand in awkward silence for a few seconds, Spencer looking embarrassed and ready to bolt out the door any second while Hotch, feeling more than a little helpless himself, tries to balance his usual expectations of his youngest agent with the rather unique situation. Catching the steely determination in his gaze as Reid's eyes flick around the room Aaron understands why Morgan is so frustrated. This is not good, worse in fact than he'd imagined. Nevertheless, ever adapt at keeping calm in difficult situations, Hotch maintains his position and upholds his cool exterior.
"Why do you want to leave so urgently?"
Reid scoffs and looks up briefly before quickly turning his head away again, "Why wouldn't I?"
Undeterred by the sudden shift in mood from defeated back to angry Hotch looks directly to the floor, drawing Spencer's gaze to what he's seeing.
"Well for starters you're feet are bleeding," he points out, softening his tone and his features once he gains Reid's full attention, "and by the way you're squinting and tilting your head to the left I'm betting you have a pretty severe headache, possibly a concussion."
Adding to that he's still covered in dried blood on his face and feet, has only one sock on, no shoes, his clothes are dusty and torn from his no doubt painful barefooted walk through the cemetery to where they found him plus he can barely keep his eyes open! Hotch says none of this however, well aware how it's going to be received.
But as if reading his thoughts anyway Reid screws his face up in denial, "I don't care about that, I want to go home!" He shouts, completely ignoring all sane reasoning and throwing Hotch for a loop in the process.
"The hospital isn't going to clear you to fly without an examination." Hotch says through gritted teeth, ignoring the outburst.
"I'm fine! Why won't you believe me?" Reid doesn't appear to notice the sudden tears of frustration trailing down his flushed cheeks as he animatedly tries to make his point, nor does he hear the footsteps quickly approaching them from behind. "I don't care about the jet, I've been cuffed to a chair for three days, I'm dirty, I'm tired and I want to go home, I just want to go home!"
Voice broken and raw with emotion Hotch watches with a heavy heart as, in a sudden moment of clarity, Reid realises how poorly he's acting and instantly quiets. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut his hands fly up to cover his face in embarrassment.
Committed to not falling apart himself Hotch breathes deeply and with both hands takes hold of Reid's shoulders, looking him in the eye, "Reid- Spencer… I want to bring you home, but you need to let the doctors check you over first, I promise I won't leave you."
A doctor appears behind them, joined by a female nurse wielding a needle. Hotch understands the threat, and chooses to believe they're more worried about Reid hurting himself than hurting him, because frankly to think Reid could really hurt anyone in his current state is ridiculous. Keeping one hand on Reid while he removes and shows his I.D Hotch frustratingly signals for the doctor to give them a minute. She's a stern looking brunette who by her eye roll obviously doesn't give a damn about his FBI credentials; however, the way she looks at Reid, still hiding behind his hands looking small and scared in front of him, suggests she does have plenty of compassion for her patient. A second of indecision crosses her face before showing him two fingers and walking away. Hotch chooses to take that to mean he has two minutes and not her telling him to stick it. He'd have laughed out loud at her droll tenacity if the situation wasn't quite so heart-breaking.
Hotch is watching the doctor leave when a small hiccup pulls his attention back to Reid. It's the kind of sound which usually masks a sob in someone trying desperately not to cry, a sound he's more used to hearing come from Jack, so it takes him a second to associate it with the young man standing in front of him. Perplexed by the sudden shifts in emotion Hotch frowns sadly, thinking over what action best to take next. The shoulder he still has a hold of is shaking in his grasp, so with the embrace Reid bestowed him with at the scene still fresh in his mind Aaron takes a chance and pulls Reid to him, hoping his own awkward way of initiating a hug is interpreted as friendly contact. The poor kid flinches against his chest, but settles quickly and more importantly, doesn't pull away.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." Hotch starts kindly, worry ebbing up a notch when Spencer uses the hands still covering his face to tug at his hair.
"I'm fine." Reid insists quietly, the shaky voice suggesting he's far from it.
"Stop that," Hotch tells him softly, ending the hold and intervening by physically removing his fingers from the tangled curls.
Before he can say anything more glassy brown eyes rise to meet his deeply concerned ones and they begin the battle all over again. "I just want to leave here with everyone else."
"Spencer," Hotch answers softly, continuing to use his first name on purpose, injecting as much empathy and understanding into it as possible.
It doesn't work. Reid's expression transforms from desolate despair into pissed off determination once again, only this time he actually tries walking towards the exit. Spinning angrily out of Hotch's loose grasp he manages two steps before his ankle gives way forcing Aaron to catch him before his butt hits the floor.
..
A long three hours later Hotch steps from around the curtain leaving the attending nurse and brunette doctor to finish up the discharge forms. After his fall, and once Hotch had settled him back on the bed, Reid accepted there was no way he would be leaving the hospital without assistance and since Hotch was unwilling to entertain Reid signing out AMA the subsequent argument over treatment options started them on a round of deliberations that would have pushed the FBI's finest hostage negotiators past their limits.
"Hotch what the hell's going on, is he alright?" JJ is the first to ask the question no doubt on everyone's mind as he approaches the two team members waiting for him out in the corridor.
"His MRI came back clean and the X-ray on his ankle showed it's severally bruised but not broken, he agreed to basic first aid for all his other injuries in exchange for clearance to fly, blood tests and the rest will have to be done back in DC."
The two stunned faces of his subordinates' isn't a surprise to Hotch. He knows Morgan expects him to keep Reid in line, and JJ, well he doubts she's ever seen him back down before.
"Hotch he almost died, hell he DID die!" Morgan argues passionately. "He needs more than a GOD DAMN FOOT X-RAY!"
"Did he say anything about what happened yet?" JJ asks steadily, placing a calming hand on Derek's arm.
"No," Hotch shakes his head, the one thing they really need to know Reid still isn't talking about.
"But Morgan said-"
"Nothing we saw at the Hankel house or in his other crimes suggests a sexual element." Hotch cut her off, shutting that train of thought down immediately, without Reid's co-operation and a full physical they won't know for sure what Hankel did to him when the camera wasn't on and until then there was no use speculating.
"Then what do we do?" Morgan refuses to let it drop.
"I don't know, but Reid isn't going to be open to anything until we leave here. Together." Hotch looks pointedly at each team member present, waiting for nods of understanding from each of them before moving on. "Where's Gideon now?"
"Came back an hour ago, he's outside with Garcia and Prentiss." Morgan sighs with an eye-roll, clearly still not happy with what went down earlier.
Hotch reminds himself he still has to get the details on that. Reid hasn't said much of anything after he'd bribed him into receiving medical treatment and Aaron hasn't had a chance to talk to anyone else yet. He half expected Gideon to show up at some point giving him the opportunity to nip out and call Haley while he sat with Reid, but no such luck, it wasn't like Gideon to abandon Reid so easily, but then nothing about this case has been easy and Hotch doesn't doubt that despite his self-assured attitude that Reid would survive this Gideon is struggling with the aftermath as much as the rest of them.
"This was no one's fault." Hotch assures tiredly, heading towards the doors to round the others up ready to leave.
Morgan's voice stops him, "Really? Because I think we're all feeling pretty damn guilty right about now."
"Would you be feeling just as guilty if it were me who was taken? Or maybe Gideon?" Hotch challenges, walking back, gaze like steel.
He's the unit chief, he's the one who needs to keep calm in a crisis, but the last few hours of bargaining with an obviously traumatised kid, one he feels wholly responsible for professionally and personally on top of all the stress and worry of the last three days has pushed him far beyond what he can usually handle. Gideon's disappearance making things even more complicated, pissing him off not just because of how his actions will affect Reid, but because he relies on Gideon to share the burden of looking after the younger agents. If being with Spencer was too much then the least he could have done was be there for the others while they waited.
"That's just it, it wouldn't be you or Gideon, and we all know that." Morgan seethes through clenched teeth.
"Guys," JJ speaks cautiously, but it's the nurse pulling back the curtains who interrupts them.
"He's ready to go," she announces dismissively, clearly as unhappy with them as the stern brunette doctor.
Reid is standing right beside her, ankle wrapped, Converse pumps Garcia had picked up from his go bag slipped over solidly bandaged feet, laces left undone. Despite having cleaned up and the change of clothes he's still looking extremely fragile, staring unfocusedly straight ahead, eyes red raw from no sleep and too many tears.
"You know that's classic alpha male behaviour. I guess I should be flattered."
"You okay?" Morgan, ignoring the taunt, immediately steps back from Hotch and with JJ at his side approaches Reid arms open wide.
Spencer winces, losing all composure in the face of that simple gesture, "I just want to go home."
Hotch hears the broken whisper as Reid accepts the offered hug from Morgan without hesitation and suddenly, as his chest aches at the sight, Aaron's reminded of exactly why he's put himself through the hell of the last few hours.
"Okay kid, I get it." Morgan says softly as he strokes a hand through Reid's recently washed hair.
Waiting by the doors Hotch catches Derek's gaze over Reid's bent head and they exchange a hard look. It hasn't gone unnoticed by either man that Reid doesn't seem to have a problem with them touching him, but despite the minor relief that their boy genius isn't displaying behaviours which usually signify sexual abuse this still isn't the Reid they know, not by a long shot.
"I get it." Derek repeats, eyes looking over at Hotch this time.
Hotch nods, understanding that one was meant for him.
JJ's getting all teary eyed watching Reid cling to Morgan like a lifeline so he quietly instructs her to fetch the others, ready to go. She sniffs loudly and wipes her eyes with her sleeve, backing away through the double doors. Reid pulls away from Morgan, unconsciously copying JJ's sleeve wiping action and grabs the crutches his nurse left him, following in her wake without looking at either him or Morgan on his way past.
Morgan joins Hotch at his side watching him go, not a doubt in his mind that Reid overheard every word of their short argument. As soon as he senses Derek is about to make a move to address the issue or apologise Hotch holds him back.
"Don't, not now."
"But he heard me say -"
"Yes, but he also just got rescued from a serial killer." Hotch eyes him carefully.
They'll have to deal with the cards already dealt and for now try not to make things worse. Hotch pats Morgan's shoulder, and together they follow Reid and JJ to join the others. It's time to get the hell out of Georgia.
Hopefully they won't be asked back for quite some time.