Its dark, the shed is fifthly, smells of rotten flesh and burning fish permeate the air. There's dried mud on the floor where someone, or several someone's have come and gone, but what he notices most is the cold, the freezing unrelenting bone chilling cold. The damp icy air soaks through to his skin causing the vibration in his muscles from adrenaline to increase tenfold. Panic wells up, water drips from the ceiling through the slats, yet the fish smell remains as strong as ever. He snaps his head around, hears the team's shouting, calling his name, but he can't move, it's no use he already sees the blood staining the floor, too much, too much blood.
They're too late.
"Aaron?"
Eye's snapping opening, jumping forward in his chair Hotch bites back the scream that threatens to come to life on his lips the second he recognises the hand on his arm as belonging to his wife.
"I brought you coffee," Haley says kneeling down in her bathrobe, clasping her warm hand over his cold one.
Hotch wipes his face with the other. "I was dreaming,"
He's still lost in the dream, in the shed where he found Spencer's body, throat cut like the others, bathed in blood.
"Morgan's here." Haley nods outside before telling him she's going to get dressed.
Hotch is already dressed, he'd never changed. After bringing Reid inside and getting him settled in their guest bedroom it became clear that even after spending over five hours without leaving his side it didn't make up for the seventy-two he was missing. Taking a second to breath, glancing at the sleeping kid in the bed he guesses he'll have to leave him alone eventually and decides now while he's sleeping, not in danger or at risk is as good a time as any.
Exiting his front door however he's ill-prepared for the bright sunny day which greets him.
"Pretty Boy ready?" Morgan, eyes hidden by dark glasses, pulls the black SUV up on the Hotchner's driveway once Aaron opens the gate.
"Not up yet," He excuses approaching the open car window.
"He tell you anything yet?" Derek asks quietly after a too long pause.
Arms folded and resting on the rim Hotch leans into the car. "He's not been coherent enough to make much sense," and by 'not coherent' he means nightmares. Thinking back on the last few hours he wonders exactly how much to tell Morgan, "hopefully the hospital will help. Strauss has already called me demanding I hand in my full report by this afternoon."
"Well she doesn't waste time."
Hotch nods in weary acknowledgement. In a perfect world they'd be able to push all the bad away and get on with their jobs as if none of the last few days had ever happened. No debriefs, no reprimands, no investigations into how an FBI agent ended up kidnapped by the killer they were sent to find… but this isn't a perfect world and their team know that better than anyone.
"Just wish I knew exactly what to put in it."
"Yeah," Morgan agrees dismissively, holding back any comments he wants to make regarding their lack of information and Strauss. "Look we need to talk." He continues sombrely climbing out of the van.
"Gideon?" Hotch guesses from just his tone, facing them away from the bright midday sun and walking towards the house.
Morgan nods, "Garcia called me, apparently Gideon's filed for emergency leave and had it approved, he's gone to his cabin for a few days."
His tone says exactly what Morgan thinks of that and truthfully Hotch isn't impressed either. After disembarking the jet Jason had left in the other SUV with JJ, Garcia and Emily. While he didn't begrudge him going home he's getting increasingly concerned over his sudden abandonment of Reid to his care. Yesterday he hoped he was wrong and that his actions were just a shock reaction to the trauma, but with no contact overnight and no response to his text this morning Hotch is becoming increasingly concerned that this is going to be another Boston. Back at Hankel's house he'd been the one losing it with worry, Gideon had seen and told him with all confidence that Reid was strong, he'd make it. Then things changed. Tobias murdered Reid. Or one of his personalities did in reaction to Gideon shutting down the video feed. Tobias brought him back, but by then it was too late for Gideon. He was already blaming himself for not predicting the violent reaction of Charles Hankel, just like he blamed himself for what happened in Boston.
What Hotch fears most now is, like he already warned Morgan in the hospital - as Prentiss had warned him - that Spencer will interpret any upset in themselves for letting this happen as disappointment in ihimi and considering Reid's already been stripped of the few defences he has Hotch doesn't think he'll will understand Gideon's distance as anything else.
"Aaron," Haley calls from the house, cutting swiftly through his thoughts "Spencer's awake."
"This stays between us," Hotch orders Morgan quietly as he runs back inside, hoping Gideon will come to his senses on his own and be back before anyone else finds out.
..
Reid wakes, sun shining through thin curtains bringing him to semi-awareness. Squinting towards the light he finds it strange that it's the sun waking him up because he's pretty sure his bedroom faces north. While debating that oddity his confusion escalates when he rolls over and discovers his bed has shrunk, it suddenly being barely wide enough for one person. Not that he has any overnight guests, not the kind Morgan does on a regular basis, but he still owns a bigger bed than this. Reid's eyes open fully then, and sitting up with a quick scan of the brightly decorated, sparsely furnished unfamiliar room he finally comes to the conclusion he isn't in his apartment.
Climbing out of the strange bed without recognising his surroundings fear escalates his heart rate, that is until he exits the room and, walking slowly down steep carpeted stairs careful not to put too much pressure on his bruised ankle, he comes in full view of a familiar family living room. Unfocused gaze directed toward the sole occupant his mind clicks on to where he's ended up.
"Spencer," Haley smiles up at him from the sofa. "Aaron's just outside I'll go fetch him."
Watching her leave Reid hovers nervously on the sub landing near the bottom of the staircase feeling very self-conscious, more so than usual which isn't surprising considering he's in his boss's home, wearing night clothes out of his go-bag which he doesn't remember changing into.
"Reid," Hotch comes running inside moments later followed by Morgan, both still looking like neither of them have slept in the last three days, "You okay?"
He doesn't know what to say. Okay is a rather relative term at the moment. He's disorientated, has no memory of how he got here and the last memory he does have doesn't bare thinking about because it involves the jet, lots of crying and a damp patch on Hotch's shirt. Wiping away the ghost of those tears Reid debates on exactly how to answer.
"I'm confused." He eventually announces shyly, gaze flicking from Hotch stood in front of him to Morgan hanging back, leaning in the doorway.
"That's okay," Hotch takes his arm and carefully helps him down the last few steps. "You're things are still in the bathroom. You can have a coffee, get dressed then we'll take you to the hospital."
Reid's brain may still be foggy, but he catches the word he doesn't like. Looking between the two men staring at him expectantly he briefly wonders how Haley feels about her husband bringing his work home with him before declining coffee and quickly excusing himself, hopping his way awkwardly back up the stairs.
..
Agreeing to shelve the conversation for later, Morgan follows Hotch's jog into the house. Reid's standing on the stairs looking completely lost and seeing Hotch approach him like a skittish animal Morgan follows his lead and hangs back. He listens as Hotch explains what's happening and Morgan takes the opportunity to simply observe. The kid's visibly shaking and he knows Hotch sees it too by the gentle way he offers his hand, taking his arm in the end and encouraging him to walk down the stairs all the while talking softly to him, like he would a victim. Which of course he is, Reid iisi a victim and as much as he hates the idea so are they to an extent.
Standing in front of Hotch drowned in his own too big clothes, Reid looks small and way, way too young. Eight years too young in fact. Even now after four years with the bureau, three as an official member of the BAU Reid's still five years younger than the average FBI graduate, Eight years too young to even ibei a profiler. Yeah he's a genius, a child prodigy and fell into the same category as the sixteen year old hired by NASA, but to Morgan none of that makes up for the life experiences he's missed and is still missing out on by being pushed to achieve faster than his peers, beyond what would ordinarily be allowed. He bets Gideon is kicking himself for even thinking he could bring a kid into the BAU and protect him from the cruelty of the job, for convincing others to make the exception despite there being damn good reasons for the minimum age limit and experience rules. Like a light bulb going off behind his eyes, with a flick of a switch suddenly the self-loathing and isolating behaviour makes a little more sense. Gideon recruited Reid into the BAU, he pulled the strings allowing him into the academy two years before he was old enough, in essence he allowed this to happen. Reid being kidnapped and hurt is all Gideon's fault, or at least that's the way Morgan knows the legend that is SSA Jason Gideon is seeing it right now.
He's shaken out of this revelation when Reid suddenly spins on the stairs ignoring his bruised ankle and runs off.
"What was that about?" He asks in surprise, approaching Hotch's side.
Hotch looks back at him sadly, "I wish I knew."
..
Reid runs the best he can with only one good foot upstairs to the Hotchner's bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him. He erratically scans the small room, there on the side as promised are his clothes, the ones he came home in washed, dried and folded on the counter. The ones he'd been wearing originally having been bagged as evidence back at the hospital, because despite Tobias Hankel being dead things still had to be processed, just like any crime. Spencer panics for a second seeing his go bag on the floor next to the shower, open and unzipped. He rifles through it frantically, checking the pockets, then remembers the inner compartment sown into the lining. Pulling out the two glass vials, untouched, undiscovered, he breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know why he took them from the scene. He doesn't know why when asked to change into a hospital gown he'd chosen to stash them in his bag instead of handing them over to the doctors. He supposes he just doesn't want the others finding out what he'd let Tobias do to him, and he still doesn't, even though deep down he knows they'd never judge him. A small part of him worries Hotch will decide he's too young for the team after all, but again that's stupid because they're going to find out sooner or later anyway, if not from blood tests the hospital is sure to run then the track marks on his arms are a definite give away. Plus he can't lie in his report, can he?
Reid lets out a long suffering sigh. He doesn't know what to do, telling the truth now might well signal the end of everything he's been a part of for the last four years. That's his whole adult life! To think the supportive family he's always wanted can be taken away all because of one mistake is heart-breaking. He never let it happen with his mother, he'd been a good kid, learned to feed himself, cleaned the house, washed their clothes, always on time for school and even did extra work for teachers so they'd never question why his mother never came to parent days after his father left, or be concerned he was being abused or neglected in anyway when he showed up with a burn from the cooker or bruised from falling off a chair because he just wasn't quite tall enough.
A sob erupts without warning and Reid, flashing back to last night on the jet clamps both hands over his mouth to prevent drawing any attention from either Morgan or Hotch who he's sure are probably camping out on the landing to ensure he's okay.
'You're okay. You can do this.' He chants silently to himself. Nobody needs to know what really happened in that shed, it'll be his secret. He's good at keeping those after all.
..
"Reid shake a leg will ya, I don't want to spend all day in the hospital." Morgan jokes as he climbs the stairs in Hotch's house after too long a time with no sound from Reid.
Truthfully he doesn't give a damn if it takes all day to run whatever tests they need to, all he cares about is Reid getting through this and the debriefing so they can move forward and put Tobias Hankel behind them as soon as possible.
Just as Morgan pokes his nose into a bedroom Reid appears in the hallway, shutting the bathroom door behind him. "There you are kid."
"Yeah," Reid smiles tightly, a hint of restlessness in his voice, "Here I am."
Morgan frowns as he passes him to head down stairs actively avoiding eye contact, he wants to reach out, touch his shoulder, do something, but keeps his hands fixed to his side, knowing very well that it's going to take time. Reid will be okay if they just give him time.