Wednesday 1st November 10:13
Whilst I'm waiting for my potion to turn blue, I shall tell you all exactly what happened last night after I left you.
"Oh, hi Anna" this is Remus.
*awkward mumbling by me*
*Remus sits down a few seats away*
*I get up and leave with more awkward mumbling*
"Night" this is Remus again.
I know, I'm embarrassed too. I can't believe I'm allowed to exist in this world. I'm despicable. I don't know what James plans to do to get me to talk to him, but he's going to have to work some serious miracles.
Wednesday 1st November 18:23
I'm in the library again. I don't know why I keep torturing myself. I'm pathetic. It's not even like he does regular strip teases or anything, he's literally just sitting there doing homework and he's got me all hot and bothered. Bastard. It's also really annoying because his friends are with him today and James keeps noticing me looking over there and giving me this knowing smirk. He's also a bastard. I wonder if he's told them about our 'date' yet. Probably not, that would be really embarrassing for him I'd imagine. Oh no, James is looking at me whilst whispering something to Remus. I wish I could lip read. Remus just looked at me. He's whispering something to James. Oh god what are they saying. You know what, I'm just going to ignore them. Just stare at the page, Anna. Don't look at them.
Well, that was rude. James just threw some scrunched up parchment at me. Oh, it says something.
"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? – James". Not entirely sure what the purpose of this is, he already knows I agreed. Oh great, the four of them are staring at me expectantly. I'll just nod at them. There we go, that seemed to be what they wanted. Boys are weird.
Friday 3rd November 16:20
Whoa, sorry about that. I left you in the library. Which is terrifying to think about. God, I wonder how many people read this? I should really put some protective spells on this thing. But in other news, it's Friday (as stated above) which means tomorrow is Saturday. The day I die. Probably, anyway. Maybe I'll just stress eat, they have lasagne for dinner and I do love lasagne.
I just shoved like a pound of lasagne in my mouth and it was hot and I am dead now. Benjy is laughing at me. What a wanker.
I swear to god, the next time James Potter throws something at me head, I'm going to throw a brick at his. It's another note.
"Please don't eat like that on our date tomorrow, that's embarrassing" (oh god he saw that. awkward) "also, don't wear a coat. and do something nice with your hair – James".
How fucking rude, I'll do whatever I want with my hair. And why would I not wear a coat, it's like 5 degrees outside. No wonder this guy doesn't have a girlfriend.
Saturday 4th November 00:16
I can't sleep. I'm too nervous about this date. Oh god. I'm not going to be able to speak to him. I'm going to look like a social disaster. I can't do it. Can I call in sick? I could eat some peanuts. That may be a bit extreme. Why? Why? Why did I agree to this? What is this going to achieve? He's just going to find out exactly why he should not go out with me. Please kill me.
Saturday 4th November 8:04
I'm up early. I'm staring at all the beauty products I own (and some stolen from various roommates). I have no idea what to do with them. Like, yes, I do know how to do my own make-up. But to what extent am I making-up? I don't want to go to much, because it's just a Hogsmeade date. But I also want to look nice. And what do I do with my hair? James said to do something, but what? It doesn't really do much, it's just straight. Oh god, what do I wear?! It's pretty cold, so I would just look kinda stupid in a skirt or dress. But I don't have any nice looking jeans, they're all kinda scruffy. It's too early for this shit. Oh well, I've got to get started some time.
Saturday 4th November 9:29
I think I did ok. Benjy just said I look 'nice' so I guess that's something. I should probably eat something. Toast is good. I'm so nervous, oh god. It's going to go terribly, I can feel it. Oh, there's James. He's coming over here. Ugh, wish me luck.
Saturday 4th November 19:45
Well. I don't really know what to say. I guess I should tell you how the day went. Bear with me here, I'm no novelist.
"So, you ready for our date?" James said.
"Woah, wait. You're going on a date with James Potter?" Benjy said with surprise. (shh, I said I'm not a novelist)
"Yes, I am, I forgot to tell you. Sorry," I said. And then James and I left and we began our walk into Hogsmeade. I should point out that I (stupidly) listened to James and didn't bring a coat (though I did wear a cardigan, I'm not risking my health for a boy that much). I regretted that decision. It was flipping freezing. There was frost on the ground, it was ridiculous. Anyway.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked awkwardly whilst shivering violently as I probably acquired hypothermia.
"Well, like I said the other day, we'll go to the Broomsticks and we'll crash with Remus. He didn't mention having a date so I assume he's alone."
"Will he not be with Sirius and Peter?"
"Nah, Sirius has a 'date' (he did actual air quotes with his fingers) and I told Pete not to hang around Remus today. Not sure what excuse he used. So yeah, we'll sit with him and we'll chat for a while. Then I'll leave to 'go to the loo' and probably piss off to Zonkos or something so the two of you can have some alone time."
"But what if I can't talk to him?" I mumbled.
"You're talking to me fine." I gave him a look.
"No offence, but it's not really the same thing." He rolled his eyes.
"Well, just pretend he's not there and talk to me at the beginning. Afterall, it is our date." He did that weird wink nudge thing. It kinda hurt. He has pointy elbows. "You'll soon get into it and completely forget that you want him to bang you against a wall." I'm fairly certain my face went really red. And I have never ever said that I want that to happen. I may have thought about it, but still. Anyway, we didn't really talk about anything important for the rest of the walk. And then we arrived in Hogsmeade. My stomach was doing like 12 somersaults a second. It was a weird sensation. The Three Broomsticks was packed, as usual. It took us a while to find Remus, we nearly gave up at one point. But he was there, alone, and so we joined him. I nearly threw up from nerves.
"Hey, Remus. Mind if we join you?" James said cheerily. I wish I was cheery.
"Um, sure. If you want." He gave James a weird look. I'm assuming it meant 'dude what you doing, don't you want to spend time alone with your smoking hot date' or something to that affect. So we sat down, I was directly across from Remus. Actually, just I sat down. James disappeared to get drinks. So I was alone with Remus way sooner than I was expecting. This was not part of the plan. I was very panicked. We sat there in awkward silence for a while (well, it was awkward for me). After an eternity, James returned with butterbeers. I think I was going to need something stronger to get through today.
"So Anna, how are NEWTs going?" James asked, still cheery. Git. I turned to look at James, who was looking at me, and then I looked at Remus, who was also looking at me, and I looked back at James hoping he would see the fear in my eyes. He either didn't or he did and didn't care, because he continued to look at me expectantly.
"Fine," I managed to say, in a very awkward high pitched voice which was definitely not my own. I coughed, hoping no one had noticed.
"What subjects are you taking?" If you're going to try and get me to talk, James, you're going to have to come up with something better than school. But at least he was trying. I should probably try harder too. So I gave myself a little peptalk. Pretend Remus isn't there, just talk to James. You can talk to James. James is nice. It seemed to work.
"Um, transfig, charms, defence, potions and astronomy," I said, thankfully in my normal voice. But then of course, my little bubble was burst of just talking to James and Remus spoke.
"Oh, that's interesting. Not many people usually continue with astronomy at NEWT level," he said, smiling sexily. (Ok, so it was a normal smile, but that boy can make anything look sexy). I looked at James and he just looked at me encouragingly. Not very helpful really, but I tried.
"Um, yeah. There's about 5 of us." I think this is actually the most I've ever said to him at once. And I didn't even stutter. Hell yeah!
It all actually went ok from here. James and I talked, with the occasional input from Remus. I managed to keep my cool for most of it. But then it happened.
"I'm just gonna nip to the loo," James said. I gave him a look that I hope said 'nononono I'm not ready yet' but he ignored me and left anyway. So there I was, alone with Remus Lupin. He, of course, had no idea that James wasn't coming back. The silence was a little awkward. I was mostly staring at my lap, otherwise I would probably do something stupid like start drooling over him.
"So, Anna," I looked up. He was smiling, he has a beautiful smile. "Um, I didn't really know you knew James. But clearly he likes you." I couldn't help but smile. I was actually trying to stop myself from laughing, but I think Remus took it a little differently. Obviously, because he has no idea this was set up.
"Um, yeah. We have prefect duties together, so," I said awkwardly. My conversational skills appear to have improved, but there's still time to fuck up. It went a bit silent after that, though not quite as awkward. It had been about five minutes and then Remus started to look confusedly towards the boys' toilets.
"I wonder where he is," he sort of muttered to myself. I turned around to look too, just to make it look realistic. I'm going to have to look convincingly upset by James' absence for Remus to take pity on me.
"Maybe he didn't like me as much as you thought" I sort of whisper mumbled to myself. He gave me a look, I think it was pity?
"I'm sure he's not just left," he said. Oh Remus, but he has.
"It's ok, I guess. I mean, who was I kidding? James Potter and me?" I tried to laugh pathetically, like I was upset. Not sure about my acting skills. Remus seemed to buy it.
"No, it's not your fault. If James has just ditched you, then he's a huge wanker." He seemed kinda angry. It was kinda hot.
"I should just go then. No need to ruin your Hogsmeade trip, too" I said whilst getting up. I should consider movies as a possible career option. Seriously, considering I couldn't say so much as 'hi' to him before, I was pulling off an amazing performance.
"No, I'll walk back with you. I was never going to stay long anyway." He said getting up. God, he is such a gentleman.
"Are you sure?" I tried my best pathetic smile (it was pretty easy, I am a very pathetic person)
"Yeah, I've been to Hogsmeade enough times, really." So he walked me back up to the castle. It was quiet at first and I became painfully aware of the fact that I was walking with Remus Lupin. My heart started beating really fast and my stomach was doing the somersault thing again. He seemed to notice that I looked distressed.
"Are you okay?" What a sweet guy, I knew I liked him for a reason. I just about managed to nod at him.
"Do you want me to hit him for you?" he said smiling. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. We kind of just looked at each other for a little while and (I know this sounds cliché, don't judge) but our eyes were locked and it seemed to last forever but it was only a few seconds. Like, for real. I'm not even making that up to sound dramatic, it was actually like that. It was a weird experience.
"Just so you know, you didn't do anything wrong. Not that I noticed, anyway. James is a bit weird, so I don't know exactly why he would've done that. I'm sorry though." Stop being so nice, it's unfair to be that nice.
"…" I tried to say something, like seriously my mouth was open for like 30 seconds but no words came out so I closed it. I can only imagine how weird that looked. Also, he laughed at me. Well, he chuckled slightly, but still. I take back the nice thing.
"James is a moron," I said to myself, because the wind had just started up at that point and I was painfully reminded that I didn't wear a coat on his orders. Remus laughed again though, so I felt kinda good about making him laugh. He seemed to notice me shivering then though.
"Are you cold?" he asked worriedly. No, of course not. I'm perfectly warm, obviously. So then, like the true gentlemen he is (seriously, I thought this kind of behaviour stopped in like 1882, is this guy even real?) he gave me his coat. Completely pointless considering we were only about 5 minutes away from the castle, but whatever. I wasn't going to complain. I'm assuming this was the reason James asked me to not bring my coat. Should've seen that one coming, really. Blaringly obviously now that I think about it. His coat smelled really nice though. Is that weird? Well, anyway. We got to the castle and then he walked me to the common room, which was ridiculous and unnecessay but welcome nonetheless. I gave him back his coat and we parted with a "see you around" and a smile. And that's it. Wasn't particularly romantic. No unexpected goodnight (it was like 1 but whatever) kiss. No wild corridor sex. But it was the best I could've asked for really. I really must find a way the repay James. And, god, do I hope that something comes out of this. At least I've got better at talking to him. I would've written all of this sooner, but I kind of led on my bed in a daze for about 2 hours and then I was hungry. So here we are. Who knows what tomorrow brings. Hopefully a good snog, but probably not.