Disclaimer: All characters and locations belong to Fresh Tv, Teletoon, Cartoon Network, or whoever owns these rights. However, all OC's belong to me as do any original ideas found in this story...so don't steal them...I'm serious...you have been warned!

This story is rated T for innuendos, cartoon violence, and mild cursing. There will be spoilers for all five seasons of Total Drama, so you have been warned. And just a reminder, do not try any of what you read at home. You could get really messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama: Return of the Underdogs! Our returnees met our new arrivals. Some really hit it off, while some just hit each other. The first challenge showed us just how some of our newbies play the game. Jordan yelled at Katie. Samantha and Ethan ignored their team, but Debbie annoyed hers. In a surprise claim to boldness, Eva managed to earn the disrespect of her entire team, while Brick desperately tried to get it under control. However, the biggest shock of the night was our first elimination, where Debbie became the first camper voted off of the island."

"Now, fifteen campers remain standing, and with a new and painful twist coming up today, this game's going to get dangerous. Who will lead their team to victory? Who will doom their team to failure? And just what is this twist I speak of? Find out the answers to all these questions on this episode of Total... Drama... Return of the Underdogs!"

(Theme song plays)

After the elimination, Chris stood near the new elimination device, laughing at Debbie's misfortune. "Chef, did you see her fly?!"

"Oh, yeah," chuckled the co-host.

"How can you laugh?" asked Dawn. "She could be seriously hurt!"

"Don't worry, she'll be fine. I got an intern to go pick her up and tow her over to Playa Des Losers if he can find her. As for you guys, you should probably get to bed. You've got a challenge tomorrow, so you'll need a lot of energy if you want to stop being pathetic."

"Do we get anything to sleep on?" asked Katie. "I don't want to sleep on the ground with the," the BFFF gulped, "roaches!"

"Wait?" said Jordan. "Are there roaches on this island? I'm sorry, but they really give me the creeps."

"Yes, there are cockroaches," said the host with a chuckle. "Big ones too. And no, losers get no comfort whatsoever!"

"Could we at least get some pillows?" asked the BFFF.

"What part of no comfort did you not understand!? Now get some rest, or you'll have a really tough time tomorrow!"

The seven members of the Foxes of Failure turned away from the host and began the walk back to their sleeping quarters, located away from the cabin. Jordan walked up to Noah.

"What's up?" asked the golfer. "You cut the sass back there pretty quickly."

"I don't really want to talk. I'm just tired, that's all."

"You sure you don't feel guilty?"

"About what?" Noah asked angrily.

"Voting off Debbie. I know you voted for her. It's scrawled all over your face."

"And your aura," added Dawn.

"What's it to you?" questioned the bookworm.

"We can't really win challenges if you just sob and mope around all day," quipped Jordan.

"When was I sobbing? I never cry!"

"I regret to inform you," said the moonchild, "that you have in fact cried."

"Do you have to rub it in?" asked the peeved brainiac.

"I'm just trying to help you through your rough life outside of the game."

"Well maybe I don't need your help. Have you ever considered that."

"I was teased by my peers too," cooed Dawn. "I can solve your problems."

"Yeah, like your witchcraft could do anything for me. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need anyone's help, especially yours, aura reader!"

Confessional

Dawn: "I hate to see Noah like this. He has so much potential. I just hope that I can help both Staci and Noah at once."

End Confessional

"Well guys, you know what I'm happy about?" asked Staci. "I'm not the first one out! It's so nice to know that people actually care about me."

Jordan ignored the liar and stretched his arms to the sky. "So where are you guys going to sleep? Cause I call the trees."

"I don't know," added Tyler. "I might sleep under the stars."

"Tyler," said Katie. "We're all sleeping under the stars."

"Oh yeah, right. Well, then I'm heading straight for a cave."

"Is there a cave?" asked the BFFF.

"Yes," said Dawn. "It's about half a mile to the west. But you might want to watch out for the bears."

"I could take a bear," bragged the red-clad teen. "I have strong fingers, so I could wrestle him to the ground and knock him silly."

"Please, don't hurt them!" pleaded Dawn suddenly. "There are cubs."

"How do you know? Have you been there?"

"It's because of the same reason that I know about your embarrassment towards your birth-mark. It's okay if it looks somewhat suggestive in form. That's what makes you who you are."

Tyler's jaw fell to the ground. "Come on! Did everyone have to know that?"

"I could care less," came Noah's sly voice.

"It's cool," said Jordan. "I have some pretty embarrassing features too."

The athlete looked at Dawn. "Just don't spill the beans."

Meanwhile, at the one cabin, the Llamas were settling in to their new accommodations.

Brick was setting the alarm time on his military clock. "0500 hours should be fine," said the cadet to himself.

Samantha, who was just getting into her bottom bunk, looked over at Brick. "Five in the morning! That's ridiculous. Set that stupid thing to eight!"

"Ma'am, this is not stupid. It's my grandfather's. He carried it with him through the second World War, and its one of the only things I have left from him."

Anne Maria butted in. "Why don't ya' just leave it at home if it's that valuable to ya'?"

"Yeah," added Dakota. "That thing was seriously annoying last time. I could hear it from the other cabin."

Justin walked up to the cadet and put his near perfect hand on his shoulder. "Look. If I'm going to be an ear model, then I can't afford to have them fall off. Catch my drift?"

"I'm with Justin on this," added Sadie. "His ears are to good to lose."

"Fine," concluded the disappointed cadet. "I'll put it away." Brick grabbed his alarm clock and put it in his bag. "I'm sure Chris will wake us up at the right time."

"Hold the phone," panicked Sammy. "Chris, he wakes us up."

"Didn't you watch the show?" asked Ethan, who was already half asleep.

"Yeah, like ten episodes. I didn't even audition. My boyfriend signed me up and made some wack audition tape with random clips of me."

"Do you even know how the show works?" questioned Anne Maria with Justin's arm around her waist.

"I read about it on the Wiki," admitted Sammy with confidence. "I know all the rules."

"Anyone can update that you know," said Dakota.

"Whatever. I'm just glad that we can sleep under a roof tonight."

"Agreed," said the rest of the campers.

After the short walk back to the campsite, the Foxes of Failure settled down under a large oak tree. Katie curled up next to the base of the tree, as did Noah, B, Dawn, and Staci. Tyler gathered a large amount of dead leaves and made a makeshift bed. However, Jordan had a different plan.

"Screw the ground," quipped the somewhat chubby athlete. "I sleep in the trees."

"You'll fall," cautioned Dawn. B nodded in agreement.

"She's been right all day," added Tyler. "You'd better listen to her."

"Well, being right so much means that it's only a matter of time before her little foresight becomes clouded," Jordan chuckled. The cocky jock lifted himself onto a branch that hung ten feet above the ground.

"Jordan," warned Dawn. "I highly recommend that you get out of that tree. It's surrounded by negative aura."

Noah spoke up from his uncomfortable position. "By that standard, shouldn't we all get away from the tree?"

"The Earth Mother protects those who respect her boundaries. Jordan is trespassing on sacred ground."

"Well," retorted the jock. "I'm not on the ground, am I?"

Dawn became frustrated. "You're not listening. If you sleep in that tree, you'll regret it."

"You're right, I'm not listening."

Dawn slapped her forehead and gave up.

Back in the cabin, the campers who were still awake decided to listen in on the conversations of the other team.

"I hear losers," mocked Justin.

The campers chuckled in agreement.

When morning came, the Llamas awoke with rested eyes and minds. However it was quite a rude wake up call.

"Riiiinnnnnggggg!" came a familiar voice.

Samantha, who was sleeping in the bottom bunk under Brick, Sat up too quickly and banged her head on the wooden platform above her.

"Damn it!" She screamed in pain. "Chris is gonna pay for that."

Justin shot up and panicked. "Please, tell me that isn't who I think it is?"

"You guessed it," replied Dakota with a groan.

"All campers report to the campfire in ten minutes!" rang the voice again. "McLean, out!"

"Ten minutes!" raged Anne Maria. "I need sixty just for my eye shadow."

"Well, at least it's only six-thirty," said Samantha as she peered at her watch. "On the farm, I have to get up at four in the morning to feed the horses. You can bet that that's fun."

"At least we got a good, Eva-free sleep," said Justin.

"Where is she?" asked Dakota with concern. "Is she still in the woods?"

"Probably," replied Sammy with content. "And I hope that we never see her return."

Brick jumped off of his bunk. "She is our strongest player, though."

"Yeah," replied the male model. "But she's also our craziest player. If you don't watch your back, she's liable to knock out a few of your teeth if she's pissed off."

"Eva, or no Eva, I'm just glad that we got to sleep in some beds last night," added Dakota, who had just mustered enough energy to get out of her bed. "At least we didn't have to sleep in the cold."

"Speaking of which," said Sadie. "I hope Katie's okay! I just hope that she didn't get eaten by a shark!" The BFFF began to panic.

"Seriously," taunted Sammy. "A shark! Since when can sharks walk on land."

The other campers stood in silence until Anne Maria shattered it with a screech of distress. "Oh God, my hair spray! It's gone!"

Meanwhile, the Foxes of Failure had just been rudely awakes by the host and his annoying wake up call. B was the first one to rise, and Dawn, Tyler, and Katie followed suit. Noah, on the other hand, was still asleep like a rock.

"How can he still be asleep?" gasped Tyler. "He's never a heavy sleeper."

"Maybe," came a voice from above. "He was ridden with nightmares."

The campers looked up and saw Jordan standing on a branch with a cocky grin. The athlete grasped the branch with his burly hands and swung down to the ground.

"See, Dawn. You were wrong, and I was right."

The moonchild ignored Jordan and went to wake up Noah.

"Hold it!" whispered Katie. "What if he's still asleep, and doesn't want to be woken up? He needs his rest for today's challenge."

"Well, Chris wants him at the campfire in less than five minutes, so I suggest we get him moving," replied the aura reader with a hint of certainty.

"He who awakens the sleeping giant shall face his wrath," joked Jordan.

"Don't worry," said Dawn. "Noah can't stay mad forever."

With her small and frail hand, Dawn touched Noah on the shoulder. She had barely touched him when the brainiac jumped in shock.

"No more creepers!" shrieked the alarmed bookworm. Dawn fell back in surprise, as did the others.

Katie stood up and spoke in a calm, soothing tone. "It's okay Noah, we had to do it. Chris wants us at the campfire."

Noah glared at his team with his bloodshot eyes. "Look, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, so I would be more than happy if you would let me rest."

"What if Chris penalizes the team?" asked Tyler.

"Then you'll deal with it without me!"

Jordan pouted in disdain and walked up to Noah, who hadn't even stood up yet. "Look, you're coming with us, even if I have to carry you!"

"Yes, please do!"

"Hold on," asked Tyler out of the blue. "Where's Staci?"

"Does it matter. She's dead weight," added Noah in vain.

Jordan looked back to Noah and yanked him up by his scrawny arm. "And you're not!"

Noah couldn't help but poke fun at his antagonizer. "Your sarcasm is so dry. You should take lessons."

"That wasn't sarcasm."

"And neither is this."

Jordan raised an eyebrow in confusion. He thought of a response, but couldn't come up with a worthy come back.

Suddenly, Dawn slapped the athlete on his wrist, causing him to drop the bookworm on his rear. "We don't have time for this. If we don't get to the campfire now, bad aura will infect our team."

"Whatever," snorted Jordan. "If Noah costs us another player, then let it be his head on the chopping block."

When the Foxes arrived at the campfire, the Llamas had already taken a seat on one of the logs. Chris stood in the center of the area with Chef Hatchet by his side.

Dakota leaned over to Brick and whispered. "It was the nutty girl."

"What took you so long, Foxes?" asked the annoyed host. "I don't like to be kept waiting."

"Why don't you ask Noah?" said Jordan.

"I would," replied Chris. "But the less he speaks, the better."

The bookworm shot Chris a scowl and sat down on the log with his team.

Chris whispered in Chef's ear. The burly cook left the campfire and came back a few seconds later with a large pot. The campers eyed the pot, hoping that it was something to eat, as no one had eaten a single thing since they had arrived. Then reality kicked in. This was Chef's food.

Jordan, having never been on the show, cheered. "Yes! Finally, I get to eat!" The golf fanatic rushed over to the pot, causing Chef to grab him by the nape of his neck and throw him to the ground.

Chris narrowed his eyes and grinned. "Not so fast 'Hungry Jack.' I still have some announcements to make. First off, do you notice anything strange about your teams?"

Tyler raised his hand. "Yeah. Staci's gone."

"Great observation Tyler," said the host. "Now, what about the Llamas?"

"Eva's gone," said Sammy with pride. "And good riddance."

Chris laughed. "Anyone else?"

"Nope, I don't see anyone," added Brick.

"Are you sure, Brick?"

Brick gasped. "The new guy!"

Justin turned to Brick and sighed. "Some leader. You can't even remember who's on your team, let alone their names."

"Give me some time. I suck with names, and none of you noticed that he was gone either."

"Alright," joked Chris. "We'll get to the drama later. First, let me tell you that Staci and Ethan are merely part of the challenge. But before we get to said challenge, Chef's gonna hand out some breakfast.

Chef grabbed a package of plastic plates, ripped it open, and threw them at the campers, frisbee-style. Most of the campers were forced to retrieve their plates from the bushes, as plastic plates weren't exactly aerodynamic. When Chef launched a plate at Justin, it caught the model off guard and smacked him in the eye.

In a panic, Justin stood up and screamed. "Dear God, I'm hideous. Get me some ice, STAT!"

Dude, it's fine," said Sammy. "Just sit down."

Chef eyed Justin and smiled. "Alright, pretty boy, get up here."

"No, I can't go on! Not with this blemish."

"Baby, there's nothing there," snarled Anne Maria. "Now get ya' food. I'm starvin' over here. Without my hair spray, you don't want to see me get angrier."

Justin reluctantly picked up his dirty plate and eased himself over to Chef. The cook took the lid off of the pot, revealing a warm, grey, mass of goop. Using a rusty ladle, Chef Hatchet scooped out a small serving of the odd dish and plopped it onto Justin's plate.

"Enjoy your gruel, sucka'," chuckled Chef. "Next!"

"Jordan wants some," said the jock to himself. Jordan strolled up to Chef and held out his plate. "Lay it on me, Cheffy."

Chef silently dropped another scoop of gruel onto Jordan's plate. The smartass picked up a plastic spoon from the pile on the stump and wasted no time in taking a bite. Smiling, Jordan swallowed the gruel and laughed. "Boy, that's great! It could use some sugar though."

Chris and the other campers gasped, even Noah, who could barely stay awake.

Chef's eyes narrowed and his chest grew with a massive breath.

"What?" asked Jordan innocently. "It's a little bland."

"Say that again, camo-boy," grumbled Chef.

Jordan didn't know what a mistake he had made, as he decided to repeat his comment. "I said, it's a little bland. I don't see the problem."

Normally, Chef would go ballistic and get in Jordan's face, but instead, he channeled his rage into flipping Jordan's plate of gruel, spilling it on the ground and his feet.

"Ok," said the athlete cautiously. "I don't want trouble."

"Well," replied a disturbingly vengeful Chef. "You just earned it."

Jordan sat back down on the log and cleaned off his shoes, but not before grabbing Noah and pushing him towards the breakfast station. The bookworm approached Chef Hatchet and sighed.

"Just give me the food. I'm not feeling up to speed."

Chef shrugged and gave the brainiac his gruel. When he sat back down, Jordan told him, "Hey, mind if I eat that. You're not really hungry, are you?"

Noah snapped around and replied, "I haven't eaten in twenty-four hours. Of course I'm hungry."

As each camper lined up to get their breakfast, the gruel slowly dissipated until there was just a few mouthfuls left in the pot. When every camper had received their gruel, they began to talk amongst the teams. Katie and Sadie sat on the ground together, Noah sat alone, Dawn and B ate together on the log, and the rest just minded their own business.

As each camper reluctantly finished their gruel, Chef swiped up every plate with a grin. "I'm going green," he chuckled to himself. The campers uneasily looked at each other in worry.

Confessional

Justin: "He'd better not reuse those plates. My body can't handle typhoid!"

End Confessional

"So," Chris told the campers. "Who's ready to hear about today's challenge?"

Suddenly, Chef looked down and gasped at the last of the gruel in his pot, still resting on the stump. Chris walked over to the co-host. "Having fantasies, Chef?"

"Chris, look!"

The gruel was rhythmically shaking, as if it was in tune with something. Chef began to sweat. Chris spoke to him. "It's nothing, you big wimp."

"I don't think so. Something's comin'. Something big!"

"You know what, Chef? This would be the perfect time for a quick commercial break. Just what is this something that Chef is worried about? How long will our campers go before they get sick of our food? And just how-"

"Where's my breakfast!" came a booming interruption. "You better have some of that crap left!"

The campers turned to the edge of the treeline to see a blue mass, slowly moving towards them with a thundering step.

"Eva! Just in time for the challenge!" Chris quipped.

"Don't think that I'm not in it to win it. I stayed outside all night to train for today's challenge, no thanks to these ungrateful punks. But first, I want my breakfast."

"It's in that pot over there," said Chris. "Help yourself."

The campers of the Llamas of Loserdom edged away from their seats and and the female bully. Eva ripped the lid and looked inside.

"What the...? There's like two spoonfuls left!"

"Yeah," mocked Chris. "You should've been here on time. Then maybe you'd have something to eat."

Instead of bashing in the host's head with her fist, Eva sighed in contempt and joined her team. "It's okay, I guess. I already got a rabbit for dinner last night."

Dawn gasped. "You killed an innocent rabbit?!"

"I was hungry. It was either the rabbit, or me!"

Confessional

Dakota: "Should've been her."

End Confessional

Dawn choked up. "But did it have to die?"

"Don't worry Dawn," said Chris. "We'll censor it when the episode airs."

"That won't change anything," she croaked.

"Nothing but the ratings! Death is always a plus on reality television."

"You're heartless!"

"Yeah, I know," gloated Chris. "Now, let us get to today's challenge."

Confessional

Noah: *He is asleep and snoring* "Must...punch wood."

End Confessional

"Ladies, gentlemen, and Eva, meet me on the beach in twenty minutes. You're going hunting."

"Hunting!" gasped Dawn. "I can't kill a precious creature."

"You're not hunting animals Dawn, you'll see," said an annoyed Chris. The host and Chef walked off into the woods with their supplies.

"Well team, let's get going. We're wasting daylight!" ordered Brick.

"Whatever you say, Captain," answered Sammy.

Jordan took notice of Brick's orders. "I say we do the same. Now someone get Noah and let's go."

When both teams arrived at the beach, Chris was standing between two small poles. On each pole was one of the missing campers.

"Hold up," said Sadie. "This is how they're part of the challenge."

"Yep," answered Chris. "These guys are blindfolded, gagged, and as a bonus, deaf. Don't worry, they're not in any danger. We just needed them for the challenge."

"Just when did you take them?" asked Dakota.

Chris laughed. "We broke into your cabin with the help of a very special guest who I'll be unveiled just before the challenge. As for the Foxes, we just took Staci in her sleep."

As Chris was explaining what had happened, Noah was trying to stay awake. His eyelids became heavier by the minute and he just wanted to fall into the sand and never wake up. Jordan, noticing Noah's condition, scooped up a handful of cold lake water from a small cesspool and splashed the know-it-all in the face. He instantly snapped back to reality, albeit peeved. Instead of interrupting Chris and his speech, Noah remained silent and gave Jordan a thumbs up.

Chris finished explaining the events of the night before and began to address the challenge itself. "Alright, while I could explain the challenge myself, which would be easy, the producers said that the audience responded really well to cameo appearances from classic competitors. So, I decided to bring in someone with a ton of knowledge on the subject of today's challenge."

With the mention of a cameo appearance, many campers became perky. Noah, now fully awake, had a sneaking suspicion of just who the special guest was. The other campers were shaking in suspense, so Chris commenced the introduction.

The host pulled out his walkie-talkie and contacted Chef. "Alright, Chef. Bring him in. It's challenge time!"

Out of nowhere, Chef Hatchet appeared with a massive crate. Chris turned to the cast and smiled in anticipation.

"And now for the big reveal. Today's special guest is..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Coming up after the break!"

The contestants groaned in disappointment.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and don't forget to fav and review. The next chapter will have much more action than the past few chapters, along with our first cameo.

Thanks for reading.