Disclaimer: All characters and locations belong to Fresh Tv, Teletoon, Cartoon Network, or whoever owns these rights. However, all OC's belong to me as do any original ideas found in this story...so don't steal them...I'm serious...you have been warned!
This story is rated T for innuendos, cartoon violence, and mild cursing. There will be spoilers for all five seasons of Total Drama, so you have been warned. And just a reminder, do not try any of what you read at home. You could get really messed up.
~A/N~ I'm sorry this is late, but Pahkitew was still distracting me. Anyways, enjoy my personal favorite chapter so far and as always, hit that follow button and leave a review. I'm dying to meet my dedicated readers, and I need to know who's a fan.
Jordan returned to the bonfire in anger. "Great. Now we don't have any meat. Not even a bit!"
"Well," said Noah. "What Chris says goes, even if you don't like it."
"Indeed," said Dawn with a smile. "Now we don't have to use meat at all. We have blueberries so far, so I'm happy."
"Does it matter anymore?" sighed Jordan. "We've already lost."
"Not really," Noah replied. "We still have three people who haven't returned."
"Yeah," Dawn added. "We can go out to look again."
"I'm out," groaned Jordan. "I'll find something to do with those berries, but I'm not going into that river again. I almost died."
"Whatever," said Dawn. "I'm going to go find more fruit. Let's go Noah."
Noah followed Dawn and passed by Jordan, who glanced at the brainiac with jealousy.
Confessional
Noah: "Yep, Jordan probably hates me by now. But what can I say, the guy is obsessive about his opinions."
End Confessional
Brick and Dakota had managed to find a pair of eggs in a small tree and were discussing the game as they returned to the bonfire.
"Why do we have to play Samantha like this?" Brick continued to ask.
"She has to go," Dakota said as she ran her fingers through her stubble of her scalp. "She's a threat. Plus, she's a heartless witch. You saw what she did to Tyler."
"It was an accident. I saw it happen," Brick insisted.
"Accident or not, what happened was wrong and she was at the helm."
Brick sighed with melancholy. "I just don't like to-"
"I know you don't like it, but playing this game is the only way to win. And I always thought you hated Samantha for upstaging you everyday."
"I don't hate her," Brick admitted. "She's a good leader, and I can respect that."
Confessional
Dakota: "Maybe I made the wrong choice for an alliance after all. I just hope Brick doesn't hate me for all my underhanded play. I'm only trying to administer justice, so I doubt he'll freak out."
Brick: "I don't do good with guilt. If I go through with this, I'm sure to let the rat out of the bag. No wait, that's not it. I meant to say that I'd open the cat's bag, uh, no. I mean that I'm-"
End Confessional
"Whatever let's you sleep at night," Dakota hummed. "But remember who the real villain is around here."
Brick nodded silently and looked at his friend. "I know," he thought to himself.
Dakota continued. "I know what's it's like to put all of my trust in someone's hands, only to have it crushed into a meaty pulp. Don't you?" she asked with a smile.
"Yeah, but I just want to play fair. I know what Samantha did, and I think it's just a little wrong to sabotage our own team."
Dakota gasped. "You didn't think we were going to throw challenges did you?" she shouted. "If we lose, then we make the best of the situation!"
Brick nodded as his lip quivered.
"Oh no," the former mutant panicked. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell. I just got flustered and carried away. It's the mutation."
"All is forgiven," Brick sighed. "But try to keep the alliance stuff to a minimum."
"Alright, but just try to understand."
Brick smiled back. "Deal."
Samantha and Ethan returned to camp holding a variety of wild fruits. Setting them all in a single pot aside the bonfire, the two newcomers sat on a log and breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was harder than I should've been," said Samantha. "Especially for me."
"Why?" Ethan said as he wiped sweat from his pale brow. "Because you had to crawl through that brush? Or was it because you fell out of that tree like, five times?"
Samantha shot him a glare of disapproval. "Yes. That, and I had to lecture you on mushrooms, get stung by a wasp, and trek through those woods for three hours."
"Sorry," he replied as he looked down in shame. "I probably shouldn't come along with you anymore, should I?"
"We're a team, but that doesn't mean that we have to stick together like glue. You can go help someone else in our next challenge."
"Yeah, I understand." Ethan paused and felt around in his pockets. "Hey, I have to use the confessional real fast. Can you watch the fruit? I'll only take I few minutes."
"Whatevs," Samantha groaned. "Just go."
As Ethan walked into the woods to 'use the confessional,' Samantha heard a rustling from the treeline on the other side of the clearing. She looked up to see Jordan zipping his pants up and walking back to camp. He stopped when he saw his alliance member sitting around the campfire.
"Hey," she smiled. "Nice to see ya."
Jordan silently walked to the log as he dragged his feet. He sat down and Samantha noticed his sorrow.
"What's wrong?"
Jordan looked her in the eye. "I think our alliance is too dangerous to both of us."
Samantha looked up with a hint of anger. "Why's that?" She squeaked out as calmly as possible.
"We almost got caught this morning. If anyone finds out about this, we'll be voted off."
"Then don't let them find out. It's your fault that your team was suspicious. You told them how you weren't hungry, and the smarties put the pieces together."
"Well, you shouldn't have given me that cake! This is your fault!"
Samantha rolled her eyes. "Look, when we on the yacht, we saw worth in having a partnership. You have the brains and the brawn, and I have the strategic mind."
"Well, I'm sure not appreciated for it. They all listen to Noah. I don't understand. I'm a good leader. I've won challenges for them before!"
"One challenge," she said to correct him. "You didn't win for the team, but you took out Eva, a challenge in itself."
"That doesn't help me at all."
"Well, how about this? All you have to do is ruin Noah's image, and you'll be the highly respected leader on the Foxes."
"Ruin his image?"
"Make him look bad. Get him on death's door with the rest of the team."
Jordan gasped quietly and stood up. "That's it! I know what I have to do. Thanks, Sammy." The jock shook her hand forcefully and ran off laughing.
"Wow," Samantha sighed. "I always get stuck with the crazies, don't I?"
As another hour passed, Noah and Dawn returned with more fruit and berries, along with Eva and Anne Maria with a rabbit and a wild cucumber respectively. Dakota and Brick also returned with a pair of small eggs and some blueberries. With only four hours until dinner time, the Llamas began to work on their dishes. The Foxes on the other hand, or Noah and Dawn at least, still stood waiting for four of their teammates to arrive.
"Where are they?" asked Noah impatiently. "It's been too long already. We need to get cooking, and all we have is some fruit and berries."
"Calm down," Dawn said calmly. "I can feel that they're coming. Well, soon I think."
"You think? Well I want to know. I haven't seen Katie, B, or Staci all day."
"Give them time, Noah. They might have too much stuff to carry."
"Or they could be dead."
Dawn gasped.
"Sarcasm? Get it? No, well then learn how to take a joke."
"That's not funny," she said. "Death isn't funny at all."
"What about Chris' death? That's pretty funny, right?"
"Ok, I suppose that's not too bad."
As Dawn and Noah eagerly awaited the arrival of the rest of their team, the Llamas had already began to cook the rabbit that Eva had caught. Brick's eggs were boiling in a pot of water above the fire, and the team was brainstorming ideas for a dessert.
"So," concluded Brick. "The eggs will serve as an appetizer, not an omelet. The rabbit will be served with the cucumber. But what do we do with the berries and fruit? It's a bit bland for a dessert, right?"
"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Samantha with her hand raised. "We can stir fry the fruit and make a berry sauce to top it with. I make it all the time on my farm."
"I second that," said Ethan in agreement before clutching his stomach in pain.
"Alright, then it's decided!" Brick said with content. "See how well we can work if we stick together as team and be fair and honest?" He looked at Dakota who rolled her eyes. "Only a few hours until service, so let's get things set up."
Ethan suddenly fell off of his seat and began to curl up and groan, attracting the attention of both teams.
Dawn immediately began to rush to the nerd's aid, but Noah grabbed her hand and told her, "No. It's their worry right now."
The aura reader looked back to Noah and then to the Llamas as they gathered around the fallen teammate. She nodded.
Confessional
Dawn: "I wanted to help, but Noah was right. If I want to win, I'll have to help myself sometimes. Well, he never actually that, but it's what he would say. It's in his aura. Right next to his shame of past failures.
End Confessional
Ethan stopped shaking and looked up at Eva, hovering above him like a vulture. The nerd's pupils had become dilated and his mouth refused to close. The rest of his team covered their fragile ears as Ethan let out a series of banshee like screams and crab-walked away,
"What the hell's wrong with him?" panicked Anne Maria. "Is he trippin' or something?"
"Yep!" stated Samantha angrily. The strategist walked up to the screaming nerd and fought his hands as they wildly whipped through the air. She reached into his hoodie pockets and pulled out a half eaten mushroom.
"You've gotta be kidding me! You ate one! What did I say?!"
Noah tried to hold back his laughter but let it out as he fell to the ground. Dawn gasped, unable to say anything out of shock and confusion.
Ethan curled up again and his teeth began to chatter. "No touch. That's no good. No good. No good. No good touch!" he spouted out with lightning fast speed.
Brick pushed Samantha out of the way. "Quick, I can pump his stomach. I've been trained for this situation. I just need to put my hand into his throat and he'll-"
"No!" screamed Dakota and Samantha.
"If he pukes on me, I'll nail you in da' teeth!" threatened Anne Maria with her fist in the air.
"We have to do something though!" panicked Brick.
"Maybe I can help!" shouted Dawn from the edge of the forest. The Llamas looked up and back down to Ethan.
Dawn turned back to Noah with puppydog eyes. "Please, Noah. I can identify the mushrooms and find out if he's okay. Please!"
"Oh fine," the brainiac chuckled. "I had I good laugh. Go ahead."
Dawn smiled. "Thank you," she gleefully squealed. "Sorry if I was a bother."
Without warning, the moonchild gave Noah a quick kiss on the cheek. Noah felt his heart skip a beat and looked on in uncertainty as Dawn scampered off.
Confessional
Noah: "That was... interesting."
End Confessional
Dawn knelt down next to Ethan as the boy whispered in a frightened manner. She turned to Samantha. "Can I please see the mushrooms that he ate?"
Without a word, the gymnast reached over to the log where she had been sitting and grabbed the brown fungus. Dawn took it in her hands and eyed it very closely.
"Don't worry," said Dawn with a smile. "Its not poisonous. He'll live, but he will have hallucinations for a couple hours, so keep him away from sharp objects, fires, bodies of water, and weapons."
Samantha gave her an awkward glare. "Oddly specific, but okay. Thanks for... whatever that was."
"No problem. I live to help others through rough times and tribulations. Just call me again if you need my assistance."
Will do, teammate," Brick said with a salute.
As Dawn walked back to her team's area, Eva looked at Brick with suspicion. "Teammate, huh? Interesting."
"What?" asked Brick with sass. "You don't respect your fellow competitors?"
Samantha propped up Ethan on a log and stood up, wiping her dirty hands on her jeans. "She ain't a teammate. She's an enemy. A nice enemy, but an enemy either way."
"Well," added Dakota. "Dawn just saved us a load of trouble, so you could at least thank her."
Samantha took offense. "I did thank her," she said while grinding her teeth.
"Yeah," quipped Dakota. "Halfheartedly. You act like you don't even want her to help."
Anne Maria stood up. "I might be poof-less, but I can tell when someone is lying. I spend enough time around my boys to know how people work."
Samantha snorted rudely. "Right."
The Jersey chick flipped her hair out of her eyes. "What? You think I'm kidding?"
"No, no she doesn't!" said Brick as he tried to avoid another conflict. "She's just playing around."
"Back off, cadet," Samantha told Brick. "Dismissed!"
She turned to Anne Maria again. "You claim to know when someone lies, but couldn't even tell when Justin was lying to your face, or should I say, your lips."
"Lips don't lie. Haven't ya' heard that song before. And Justin wasn't a liar. We were a perfect couple and we were in love."
"Really, then why didn't he say goodbye? Really, how blind are you?"
Anne Maria lunged and Samantha, knocking her to ground and sending pots and pans flying. The Jersey chick was grabbed by Brick and Eva, but kicked her foot back and nailed Brick in the gut. Eva was much more resilient. Anne Maria's kicks were ineffective, and soon, she was hoisted into the air by the iron woman.
"What's your problem?!" screamed Samantha.
"My problem is everyone," she growled. "Especially testosterone chick over here. And once your all off'a this island, I can rest easy."
Noah and Dawn were too busy watching the carnage to notice the rest of their team, minus Katie, walk up behind them with loads of ingredients.
Jordan smiled in delight. "Catfight."
Noah looked back with a grin. "Yeah, they've been going at it for a while."
Then the bookworm saw the net full of food. "Wow, someone's been pulling their weight, huh?"
B and Staci nodded.
"Yeah," bragged Jordan. "I managed to find quite a few cool things out there. Fish, apples, nuts, and-"
"Hey," said Staci in detest. "B and I found this food. You just tagged along."
Jordan rolled his eyes. "I don't know what planet you're on, but I'm sure that I found most of this stuff. These lips don't lie."
"But apparently those lips are misguided," Staci mumbled.
"Whatever," said Jordan. "I just want to watch the catfight. B, Staci, get that food sorted out."
B and Staci rolled their eyes in disgust.
Confessional
B: *Holds up his blackboard with a censored picture on it*
Staci: "What a self-absorbed-"
Jordan: "Overachiever! I do all this work and I get no respect, again! But it doesn't matter. Noah's deconstruction has already began. Now, I just wait until Staci pops the question."
Staci: "Rude, arrogant, selfish, lying-"
Jordan: "I've got this in the bag."
Staci: "Greedy, annoying, (bleep)! And I don't care if I can say that on TV!"
End Confessional
Anne Maria had cooled off and sat down again. "Forget this," she mumbled. "I hate this show, I hate this game, and I hate my life."
Dakota turned to Samantha, who was turning the impaled rabbit above the fire as it cooked ever so slowly. "This is bad."
"What was your first clue?" the country girl snarled.
"Well, two of our members are down for the count and Sadie hasn't come back yet. The Foxes are already starting to cook, and dinner is in two hours or less. Those are the clues."
"Well," said Samantha enthusiastically it's not like those three were all to useful. Sadie and Ethan were, uh, fine. But 'Can-ne Maria' really doesn't seem to be a team player. She's just too quick to fire."
Dakota nodded solemnly and walked towards Brick as he watched the eggs boil.
"What's the matter?" Brick asked halfheartedly.
"Nothing," Dakota said. "I just want to talk. Waiting for this food to cook is lame."
"Tell me about it. When I was in military camp, I always had to wait until rest break to use the bathrooms. I always ended up wetting myself as I unzipped my pants."
Dakota gave Brick a look of disgust. "Yeah, that was a little too much info there, Brick."
"Well, I need to get this out before I crack like those eggs. With everything that's going on with this team, I'm under more stress than ever. Secrets won't help."
"Just be careful about what you say," she warned the cadet. "Some things are better left unknown, like toilet stories."
Brick laughed. "Yeah, I know. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. And you're the best listener I know. Well my mom is actually the best, then there's my friend Rick, and my cousin Donald, my aunt Danielle, and finally you."
"How flattering," Dakota said monotonously.
Meanwhile, the Foxes were beginning to cook their meals, a task that was proving to be harder than they had anticipated.
"So?" asked Noah with unease. "Anybody know how to light a fire?"
"I can," said Jordan with arrogant enthusiasm. "I go hiking, so I know my way around a fire. All I need is a lighter and some fuel."
Noah and Staci turned the other cheek and asked again. "So, anybody?"
Jordan growled quietly and grabbed a pair of rocks from the ground. The golfer held them up his chest. "So, I guess it's up to me. Look, you strike rocks together and..."
Jordan slammed the stones together again and again. Suddenly he gasped in pain. "Damn!"
The Foxes looked at Jordan's left hand to see a stream of blood rushing down his palm. Noah sighed. "Way. To. Go."
"Cut the sarcasm, Noah. Dawn, can you heal this?"
"Sorry, I don't have time. We need to start a fire or the fish that B and Staci caught is going to rot. I'll fix it later."
B raised his hand, attracting the attention of the other teammates. The silent giant smiled, reached inside of his trenchant, and pulled out a flint-tipped tool. As the team watched, he pulled a rock out from within the ground and dusted it off with his dark-skinned hands.
"Yah, nice idea, B," said Staci with admiration. "You're ideas are like, so great."
Jordan curled his lips in anger and looked at his bloody hand. He moved his fingers delicately and felt his mind fill with rage that he forced himself to hold in.
B struck the flint on the rock, sending a small spark into the air.
"Its like magic," gleamed Staci.
"Or science," said Noah.
"Yah, science is so cool. I always loved biology in ninth grade. I had a teacher who always had these creepy ventriloquist dummies in her room. Everyday, she'd move them around and put them on the desks and stuff. Yah, it was so creepy."
"That's nice Staci," Dawn said with a smile.
Confessional
Dawn: "She might have cut back on her lies, but she's still plenty annoying when she gets bored."
End Confessional
B struck the rock and flint together gain, and produced another spark. With a technique to his art, the genius grabbed a few dead leaves and some tree pulp and struck again, lighting the tinder with a minuscule flame that quickly extinguished itself.
"So much for that," sighed Staci.
B held his left index finger up to tell the former liar to wait and struck the rock again and again.
"This might take awhile," said Noah.
On the Llama's side of the clearing, Ethan had stayed sitting for quite a while. Brick decided to check his condition.
"Hey, teammate," he said as he touched the nerd's shoulder.
Instantly, Ethan smiled and laughed gleefully. "Hey you... kitty kitty say go-go. I love you sir... pudding fingers."
The cadet stood up from his kneel and backed away cautiously.
"Just one last... crippled duck, heh he."
"Samantha," squirmed the cadet. "He's getting creepy!"
"Just ignore him," she replied. "He's just tripping. He'll be fine tonight. I hope."
"Are you the first last number wizard ma'am?"
"Well, it's gonna be hard," said Brick. "This is pretty hard to ignore."
"Pussyfoot cashews, sir. Yeah, that's not greater."
Brick shuddered and slowly backed away from the high nerd. "Yeah, you enjoy your cashews. I'll be over there. Way over there."
As the Llama's rabbit slow-roasted above the fire, the blueberries stewed and the eggs boiled.
Eva sat around the log, knocking a small stick on her head. She sighed and leaned back as she let out a yawn and closed her windburned eyes to rest. Deep breathes flowed in and out of her lungs, filling her with content. Then she heard the squealing of best friends.
"Crap," she groaned.
"Oh my God, Sadie, you're right," came a voice from the forest. "We should totally shun him in front of team."
"Oh, I know. He so deserves it," came another voice. "Look, there's the bonfire!"
Sadie and Katie ran out of the bushes with grins on their faces. Katie pulled her friend by the arm towards the Foxes' camp.
As the BFFFs zipped by, Eva covered her ears.
Samantha stood up. "Hey, what took you so long!?"
"No time," screamed Sadie delightfully.
Noah groaned as Kate and Sadie stopped behind him, hovering over the genius like vultures over a carcass, casting their shadows over the hopeless corpse known as Noah.
"Jordan!" demanded Sadie. "I have something to tell you!"
"Yeah!" snorted Katie in agreement. "You tell him."
Jordan sneered at the BFFF and raised his cut hand, showing Sadie the deep gash and stream of dried blood.
Sadie immediately became light-headed and feel down. Katie gasped and looked Jordan in the eye. "How dare you!"
"How dare I," Jordan taunted.
"Katie, calm down," Dawn told the small BFFF.
"No, I have to take a stand!" she whined.
"Could you take a stand somewhere else?" growled Noah to the figure above him.
Katie stepped a bit to the left and her face turned red with rage. "I've been putting up with you for four days, Jordan! You've yelled at me, thrown soda at me, and you made my friend faint! What's your problem?!"
"My problem?" Jordan growled as he turned to the rest of his team. "Well first of all, I get no respect on this team when I do my share of work."
"That's because you overreact to every little thing that doesn't go your way. You're stuck up," explained Noah. "When Katie brought in those pieces in the puzzle challenge, you berated her for helping her friend. She doesn't know any better. You didn't put any effort into any challenges since day one."
"Yah," agreed Staci rudely. "You only care about yourself and winning the hundred grand. You don't even deserve it."
"Whatever," Jordan snorted arrogantly. "I don't want to listen to this. Just cook that fish and win the challenge."
Instead of the immediate response Jordan had anticipated, his arrogance was met with silence and ignorance. The jock turned his head towards Katie again. "So, why should I listen to you? Enlighten me."
Katie paused.
"Well?"
"Because I said so," she whined.
As Katie continued to berate Jordan at her team's annoyance, Eva continued to cover her ears and think to herself. "I'm above this. 1... 2... 3..."
Confessional
Eva: "After season three, I decided to take some classes on stress relief. My stupid teacher had me count to three when I got pissed and it actually worked. I guess that cash was well spent."
End Confessional
Samantha tapped Brick on his head. "Hey, Brickhouse. Go get Sadie."
"Right away ma'am," he said with a typical salute. "But, what if her friend tries to attack me?"
"Deal with it!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Do you say that every time you take orders?" asked a disturbed Eva.
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Just go," Samantha groaned. "We only have an hour left, and we need as much help as possible."
Brick opened his mouth again, but Eva hushed him with her hand, turning him away from the camp and towards the Foxes.
Confessional
Brick: "Now that it's obvious that I can't give orders on this team, it's time to do what I do best. Take 'em!"
End Confessional
Brick casually walked up behind a raging Katie and asked her politely, "Can we have our teammate back? It's very important."
"No!" she detested. "I need her help to stand up to Jordan."
"Well," reasoned Brick. "You look like you just did, and without her help to boot."
Katie gasped enthusiastically. "Oh my God, I did! I did it!"
The BFFF poked Jordan's nose with her finger and taunted him. "You can't hurt me anymore you big meanie. I'm stronger than you, and I'm invincible!"
Brick tapped Katie's arm. "Great, but can I have my teammate back?"
"Sure thing! Just be careful. I think she's out cold. Sadie's never been good around blood and gross stuff."
Brick grabbed Sadie's arms and pulled her away.
"She handled barf just fine," Noah stated as Katie took a seat next to Dawn. "Remember, the talent show?"
"Oh, I loved that episode," Staci squealed in delight. "Remember when Noah kissed that Cody guy? Jordan and I talked about that season earlier today. He talked about Noah a lot, but it was still cool."
"Oh yeah, Noah kissed Cody," Jordan devilishly laughed. "Tell us about that."
Noah's cheeks turned ruby red. "I didn't kiss him. We're just friends."
"Yeah, with benefits," coughed Jordan happily. "You were totally into it. Admit it."
"I'm serious, dude!" Noah sneered. "That was an accident."
"So you admit it then?" Staci asked the bookworm.
"No, I just said I... never mind," Noah grumbled.
Confessional
Jordan: "Boom! That's how you ruin a reputation! Just a little more pushing and Noah'll crack."
Noah: "If Jordan's trying to drive me insane, it's not working. I take criticism very well." *Sighs* "Very well."
End Confessional
B finally managed to start a fire, earning him an applause from his team, but tried not to let it sink in too deep. Skilled people, like himself, knew to not let their appraisals go to their heads.
Noah grabbed a small, wooden spear that the silent giant had made along the way and handed it to B, who jammed it into the gutted and headless trout.
"It looks yummy," drooled Katie in hunger. "I haven't eaten in so long."
"Well, don't eat our entry," joked Noah. "We need this for the contest, which is in, how long again?"
B held up one finger.
"One hour is plenty of time," said Jordan. "Fish doesn't take that long to cook."
"But what about our other dishes?" asked a clueless Staci. "There's three courses, remember."
Dawn lit up with realization. "B got veggies, so I can make a good salad. I know it's a little out of the blue, but it would work for an appetizer."
"Great idea," Staci said gleefully. "I can make a wicked fruit cocktail if you guys will let me."
"Two salads?" asked Jordan with disbelief. "That's too repetitive."
"Yah, it's not a salad. It's a cocktail," said Staci with sass. "There's difference."
"Which is?" asked Jordan again.
"A cocktail is served in-"
"No one cares, Staci," said Noah impatiently. "Just make the food."
Confessional
Staci: "Yah, cocktails are served in a light or heavy syrup that is usually packed with preservatives or sweet natural juices. Salads are much drier and served without the syrup and juices. It's an important difference, and it was worth coming out here to explain it, even if I had to stop making the cocktail. Some people just don't like to get informed, you know?"
End Confessional
Both teams worked vigorously to finish their dishes. The Llamas had fully cooked their wild rabbit and set it on one of the pans to cool as Dakota boiled the wild cucumber that Anne Maria found.
Brick delicately pulled each hard-boiled egg from the hot water, nearly burning himself and dropping the eggs along the way.
Samantha was finishing up the cooked apples and blueberry sauce, while Ethan eerily watched over her shoulder with bugged eyes.
"Pretty, pretty waves," he chuckled. "So... wavey." The nerd began to move his arms up and down like waves, spinning at slow speed and laughing.
The Foxes were having much better luck.
The trout was fully cooked in under twenty minutes and had been seared beautifully; a true work of culinary art for such a deserted locale.
Dawn used a variety of vegetables in her salad and finished it in a mere ten minutes with B's knife skills.
Staci's fruit cocktail was lackluster. Pieces of fruit were unevenly sized, but acceptable for the time she had to work with.
Before the campers knew it, the thirty minute mark had been reached and Chris came onto the loudspeakers once more.
"Attention, campers. Dinner is in half an hour. Chef is bringing plates and bowls, so be ready to serve. And make it worth eating!"
"This was the easiest challenge yet," Dakota said. "I didn't even get hurt or abused once."
"Tell that to me, doll," sneered Anne Maria. "This is like the worst day'a my life. Even worse than losing a million bucks."
"Complaints won't help us win, Anne Maria," said Samantha with her eyes rolling.
"And neither will getting someone high," the tanned teen retorted. "That's your problem, not mine."
"Can we just get this done?" Eva asked impatiently. "My interest meter is on empty, and my fist meter is on full. So unless anyone wants to wake up in the infirmary, I suggest you can it and work."
The team went silent, aside from Ethan who had fell to the ground and looked to the clouds. "Look at the big whales in the sky. Windy whales. See them guys?"
"See what I mean?" Anne Maria said with a smile.
Meanwhile, the Foxes were already prepared to plate their food, but needed plates. And it wasn't too long before they arrived.
Chef Hatchet appeared out of almost thin air, holding two stacks of plates with six to each stack.
"Serve it up!" Chef bellowed. The cook's burly arms slammed the plates into Samantha's hands.
"Why are there six of them?" she asked. "I thought we were serving Chris."
Chef flared his nostrils and turned to face the female camper. "Did I say that you could speak up?!"
"No, but I just wanted to know why we had six plates."
"You'll find out when you find out! Got it?!"
"Yes sir!" Brick said.
"Did I say you could speak, cadet?!" Chef screamed with authority.
"Shut up and stop asking questions!" Dakota whispered harshly.
"I take that as a no, son," said Chef.
The cook silently dropped the other stack of plates into Jordan's arms and cleared his throat.
"Campers!" he said. "Dinner is in ten minutes! Plate your grub and head off to the cabin's clearing!"
As Chef walked back into the shrubbery, both teams panicked to plate their food in time, with the Llama's rabbit being quartered and served as two back legs and a side of boiled cucumber. The Foxes' fish was cut into two small pieces and served with boiled lettuce, leaving the entire left side of the fish uneaten.
Dawn and Staci piled their vegan dishes onto their plates and rushed the others to finish plating while Samantha drizzled her blueberry sauce onto the Llama's apple dessert in a vaguely familiar shape. Brick sliced up the boiled eggs and made a fanciful design with them on his plate that he was sure would win the course for his team.
Both teams finished with five minutes or so left and rushed down the path to the cabin where a picnic table had been draped with elegant, white cloth.
The Llamas and Foxes lined up in front of the cabin, eagerly awaiting the final part of the challenge.
A set of footsteps was heard coming from within the cabin and the door flew open, revealing a blue-suited Chris McLean with overly-gelled hair.
As Chris stepped past the team's, Noah cracked a quick joke. "I take it your classy outfit doesn't reflect your personality."
"Good observation," Chris said. "You know me all too well, Noah."
The host looked from team to team and smiled. "You all look tired. Must've been the summer heat stroke, heh he. So, who's hungry?"
Both teams shouted various forms of approval as "yeah" and "of course" filled the air.
"Well, too bad!" sneered Chris with rotten enthusiasm. "Because half of you are going hungry tonight. As promised, the team with the best dishes get all the uneaten food from both teams, plus an advantage in the next challenge."
Chris sat on the picnic table bench and crossed his legs elegantly. "Here's what's going down. I, along with a second judge, will eat both meals in three course style. You will be scored on a scale of one to five for each course, and the team with the highest score wins dinner while someone from the losing team goes flying out to sea."
"And who's the second judge?" asked Dakota nervously.
Chris laughed. "Don't worry. You'll love him. I mean, who doesn't?"
"It's Owen, isn't it?" asked Noah.
"Nope, not even close," the sharply dressed host said. "Any other guesses?"
"Is it Sam?" Dakota asked with glee.
"No," Chris scowled. "That guy is never coming back unless we need another clog in a giant toilet."
Dakota sighed. "Alright."
Chris cleared his throat. "Now, I present to you our second judge! He's been around the world, preformed as a DJ at high strung clubs in every province and territory, and has his own brand of candy. It's..."
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"Grand Mater Chef Hatchet!"
The burly cook busted through the cabin door wearing a pure white, double breasted jacket, a black apron, and his typical white toque. With a grin the devil would envy, he glared at the contestants and laughed. "Dinner. Is. Served."
Confessional
Noah: "Chef as a judge? Worst twist ever."
Brick: "Chef's a judge?! Best twist ever!"
End Confessional
Chef walked down the steps of the cabin with a thunderous rumble. The smaller campers felt their hearts racing, but Brick smiled like a fangirl.
"Here's how I roll," the dark-skinned judge explained. "You will serve the grub. I will eat the grub. If I don't like the grub, I'll spit it in yo' face!"
The last line invoked nausea in most of the campers. If it wasn't nauseating, it sure made them jump.
Chef sat down with Chris. "Now, let's get this dinner started," said the host. "I have a lobster bisque cooking and I'm really hungry for something of my standards."
The teams sat down on the porch and waited for Chris to call the dishes down, an event that siding take long to begin.
"First up is the appetizers."
Dawn and Brick hopefully smiled at their respective teams as they picked up their two plates and joined the hosts by the table.
"Foxes go first," said Chris. "Brick, you may stand in line."
Dawn put her salads on the table in front of Chris and Chef. The manipulative host looked up to the moonchild and said to her, "Please, explain your dish."
"Well," Dawn said with a satisfied attitude. "This is a salad made with wild veggies like lettuce, cucumber, carrots, and beets. Enjoy."
Chris picked up his salad fork from his dining set and flipped the salad around the plate while Chef followed suit.
"Seriously?" Chris asked in disappointment. "Six hours, and all I get is a salad? Talk about a ripoff."
Dawn felt her heart drop.
Confessional
Dawn: "I don't understand what Chris was expecting when he said 'only from nature,' but he couldn't have been expecting five star food from a deserted island, right?"
End Confessional
Chris and Chef stabbed the salad with their forks and slowly raised it to their mouths. Dawn was shaking with nerves as Chef began to chew.
Chris swallowed his mouthful of veggies and thought deeply for a moment. Chef on the other hand chewed his cud endlessly, serving only as a weight on the Foxes of Failure.
"Meh, I've had worse,"said Chris. "I liked the variety, so I'm giving you a two out of five. Chef?"
Chef inhaled a massive amount of air and let it out with one word. "Zero."
Dawn and the rest of the Foxes gasped in shock as Chef lifted the plate and flipped its contents onto the ground before Dawn's feet. "Sit down, maggot!" he screamed with intimidation.
Dawn dragged her feet back to her team and sat down to mope.
"Brick, my man!" greeted Chris. "Show us what you made in six hours."
"You see," began Brick. "I was going to make an omelet, but we decided, as a team, to boil the eggs instead."
"So, they're just boiled eggs?"
Brick set his plates down. "Well, I knew they weren't too amazing, so I made a cool design with them."
Chris and Chef looked at the sliced eggs that Brick had cooked. Each slice was placed over the edge of another, creating a spiral shaped egg stairway.
"Chris forked a piece into his mouth and smiled. "Good taste for plain old eggs, and I like your design, somewhat. What kind of eggs are these, again?"
"Well," admitted Brick. "Dakota and I found them in a tree. We don't know what they belong to, but it's not like it's a big deal."
As Chef popped a piece into his mouth, Chris went into thought again. "Yeah, if I knew what these belonged to, I'd give you a four but instead, I'm giving you a three for trying, unlike some people."
Chef finally swallowed his piece and shrugged his shoulders. "I give it a one because the kid likes my food. Happy, son?"
"Yes, sir," Brick said happily.
"Good, now get outta my face before I rip it off!"
Brick jumped a bit and scampered off to his team. When he stood in line, he noticed that Ethan was missing.
"Hey," he said to Samantha with a whisper. "Where's Ethan?"
"I tied him to a tree at the bonfire campsite," she replied. "I didn't want him to puke on the stuff."
Brick nodded in approval.
"Well, we're a third of the way done and the Llamas lead by two points. Will the Foxes be able to take the lead? Let's find out. Entrees please!"
B and Eva stepped up to the table with their main dishes. Chris and Chef smelled the scents of the food.
"Wow," said the host. "That smells good, whatever it is. Alright Beverly, tell us about your main course.
B looked nervously from side to side and tried to speak, but ended up blushing from shame.
Back on the porch, Jordan groaned in disappointment.
Confessional
Jordan: "I knew B would fail us. That why I wrote a clever rap to perform for the judges if he bailed. Time for my street persona, 'Jordan Doe,' to add some pizzaz to this dinner.
End Confessional
Jordan leaped off of the porch and pushed B aside by his shoulder. "Step aside, sir," he sneered. "Its time to rock their world."
"Hey, Jordan," Chris said. "Beverly has to introduce us to the food."
"Not anymore, because I'm taking over!"
Noah clenched his fists and groaned.
The jock cleared his throat picked up the plates.
"Hey, yo, I'm Jordan Doe'"
"Eatin' my grub makes y'all want mo!'
"This is a trout with a perfect sear,"
"Is that a score of five I hear?"
"Once you guys, take a bite,"
"Oh yeah, it's no fair fight."
"Then there's the lettuce, on the side,"
"I know it's good, so I won't hide."
"Fi-nal-ly, two judges here,"
"So lets all get this dinner in gear,"
"Boom!"
Jordan smiled. "You can thank me later."
The entire Fox team had their jaws to the floor in utter shock. Even Noah was left without any witty quips. Meanwhile, the Llamas struggled to hold back their laughter.
"Just give us the food Jordan," Chris impatiently stated.
"With another song?"
"No."
"Fine then. As you wish."
Jordan returned the plates to the table where both judges quickly ate a bite of trout and lettuce, if only to get Jordan away from them.
"Shitty rap skills, awesome food," said Chris. "Four."
Chef glared Jordan in the face. "You are in insult to my art style. You better take my three out of five gratefully or we'll have a few problems."
"Whatever. I'm happy with that," Jordan said as he moonwalked his way onto the porch, earning him glares from his entire team.
"Great job," hissed Noah with rage. "You almost cost us the game."
"But I got us seven points," argued Jordan. "I told you I had skills."
Chris continued on to Eva and her rabbit.
"So, after that fiasco, I need something to wash down that torturous tune. What do you have, Eva?"
"I've got a rabbit and some cucumber," she said as she set the plates in front of the judges. "Eat up."
Chris and Chef picked up the rabbit leg and ripped into it like a chicken leg.
After the blue-clad host swallowed his bite, he gave Eva a thumbs up. "Awesome job. It's a bit stringy, but still awesome."
"Rabbit is stringy?" asked a confused Eva. "No it isn't."
"My mouth says otherwise, and its not really that big of a-"
Chris looked at the half eaten rabbit leg and gagged with Chef following his lead a moment later.
"I thought you liked it?!" raged Eva.
"Like at the inside," groaned Chris.
Eva picked up Chris' rabbit leg and held it to her face. Inside the leg were multiple yellow strings, or to any naturalist, worms.
Eva gagged and covered her mouth, dropping the leg to the ground.
"That is disgusting," moaned Chris. "Zero points!"
Chef silently held up four fingers.
"Four points," gasped a raging Chris. "You're kidding."
"My piece was worm free. Yours was nasty, but mine was great."
Chris glared at Chef with disapproval. "Moving on to the desserts!"
Confessional
Eva: "How was I supposed to know if that fleabag had worms? I'm not a naturalist, just a survivalist."
Noah: "Alright, maybe we can win after all."
Samantha: "Eva screwed up big time, but it's not her fault. I did the cooking. I'm not saying that I should be voted off for that, but I'm just letting you viewers out there know."
End Confessional
Finally, the dessert course had arrived. Chris stood up once more. "Look," he said. "The Foxes have nine points, and the Llamas have eight points. It's anyone's game, so let's get this over with."
Samantha and Staci approached Chris and Chef with looks of terror in their eyes. Staci knew her dessert was lackluster, and Samantha knew her team was behind. Both were in the danger zone.
Staci was about to set her plates on the table when Chris stopped her.
"Hold it, I want to switch some things around. Samantha, you can serve first since your team is behind. Staci, back of the line."
Samantha nervously put her plates on the table while her hands shook uncontrollably.
"Explain the dish," Chris demanded.
"Its a roasted apple stir fry with a blueberry sauce in your honor," the gymnast spattered out.
"In my honor?" asked Chris. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Samantha looked down at the plate and pointed to the blueberry sauce designs. "See, it's you."
"Excuse me, but I look nothing like this. The chin is too butt-like, the hair is atrocious, and my eyes don't look like dots! This isn't just bad food, it's insulting food!"
"You didn't even taste it! Try it and you'll like it! It's farmer food!"
Chef happily scooped up some of the caramelized apples and took a bite.
"See, Chef's eating it!" Samantha argued. "Just try it."
"I refuse to eat it. Zero points to you!"
"I don't know, Chris? It's pretty damn good," Chef said with a faint smile.
"Say what you want, but I'm not touching it!"
Samantha picked up her plate of food from Chris and walked away, eating it herself.
"Oh, I give you a four!" said Chef with content, drawing a glare from Chris. "You could've at least tried it."
"So?" asked Staci. "Am I last?"
"Yep," said Chris. "As always. Just give us the food."
Staci glumly placed her plates on the table and said. "Eat up, I guess. It's fruit cocktail."
Chef and Chris impatiently scooped a spoonful into their mouths and swallowed. Chef gasped without warning and began to shake.
"Oh no!" panicked Staci. "I killed him!"
"It's..." started Chef. "It's..."
"Spit it out, Chef," Chris demanded. "I hate it, so just spit it out."
"It's amazing!"
Staci, Chris, and the other campers gasped too.
"You, like it?" Staci asked.
"Girl, this is just like Momma used to make! You even have the inconsistent knife work on the fruit."
Dawn smiled from the porch. "You did it," she whispered.
Chef continued. "This almost brings I tear to my eyes, even though I lost my tearducts in the war. Five out of five! The Foxes win!"
Staci jumped up in excitement with the rest of her team as the Llamas stood in shock at their loss. Eva even ripped a piece of the wooden railing off of the porch with her bare hands.
Chef shot an evil smile at the Llamas. "Get your butts down to the bonfire, cause someone's gonna fly," he chuckled.
"My favorite part of the show," said a peeved Chris. "If there's anything that can relieve stress, it's a lobster bisque or hitting someone with a giant boot. So, head off and vote, cause the ceremony's in thirty."
After voting, all the Llamas gathered around the bonfire where Ethan had cooled off from his high.
"What happened?" He asked Samantha as she untied him.
"You should know," she replied in disdain.
Chris walked up to the blazing fire with six weenies on sticks, just like the last ceremony. "Alright campers, I want to deal with this quickly. My lobster bisque is behind schedule, so I don't have to time to force too much drama into tonight's ceremony."
The campers felt so what relived, but kept the fear of the votes in the front of their thoughts.
"Now, tonight's vote is pretty shocking, so we have the infirmary set up if anyone has a heart attack."
"Not funny," said Dakota.
"You know what else isn't funny?" retorted Chris. "The fact that you're still safe and have to compete tomorrow. Well it's funny to me though."
Dakota smiled as she caught her hotdog.
"Brick and Eva, you're safe too."
After the two powerhouses caught their symbols of safety, Chris smiled with delight at the last four Llamas.
"You all have pretty good reasons to be going home."
The four campers nervously looked from eye to eye, dead set on winning a weenie.
"Samantha," Chris said.
"Yes?" she said with hope.
"You're on the chopping block for singlehandedly ruining your team's chance at winning. But even though, I still disagree, you're safe."
Samantha snorted in victory as he caught her weenie.
"Now, the three of you are all in danger of going home. Ethan was high for three hours, Anne Maria picked fights all day, and Sadie decided to hang with her bestie instead of helping the team."
Ethan sickly looked at Chris with fear in his heart.
Sadie covered her mouth with her quivering hands.
Anne Maria glared at Chris with eyes that shined with determination.
"And tonight's loser is..."
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"Tan-in-a-canne Maria!"
Instead of raging, Anne Maria stood up and defiantly said, "Oh, I ain't going nowhere. You're gonna have to try harder than 'dat to get ridda' me."
"Meh, it's your funeral," Chris sighed. "Chef!"
Chef emerged from the shadows with a tightened length of rope in hands and a grin on his face.
Anne Maria gulped in fear and tried to back away.
Chef threw Anne Maria onto the target below the massive boot. She tried to squirm her way out of the tangled mess, but could only get her mouth free.
"You ain't seen the last of me! Do you hear me McLame?!"
"Oh, I hear you loud and clear," Chris laughed. "Speaking of clear, I think the skys are perfect for flight, and speaking of flight-"
Chris pressed the control button on his remote, sending the Jersey girl into the moonlight sky screaming, "I'm coming, bay-bay!"
"I will not miss her," Chris said. "And speaking of things you shouldn't miss, make sure to tune in next time to Total... Drama... Return of the Underdogs!"
The Votes
Eva: "Anne Maria might have made herself a few enemies today, including me. See you never, liar!"
Ethan: *Pukes into the toilet*
Dakota: "I vote for Sadie, and Brick better follow through with the plan. This is the perfect time, and it can't go waste."
Brick: "I know I promised Dakota that I'd vote for Sadie, but I just can't. I vote for Anne Maria instead. There's no way she'd get enough votes to send her home."
Anne Maria: "My vote's for Eva. I still don't trust her after catching her red-handed."
Sadie: "Too bad I can't vote for Jordan. I guess a vote to Anne Maria makes sense. She yelled at me, and I hate when people yell at me!"
Samantha: "Sure, a vote for Eva would be a huge step forward for our sanity, but with Anne Maria's can obsession on the loose, it's her time. It's sad really, I intended to take down Eva with that can, but Anne Maria seems to have snapped on everyone instead. Oh well, a vote's a vote."
End Voting Confessional
Voting Results:
Anne Maria: 4 votes
Sadie: 1 vote
Eva: 1 vote
Eliminated: Debbie, Justin, Tyler, Anne Maria
The Foxes of Failure: Staci, B, Dawn, Jordan, Noah, Katie
The Llamas of Loserdom: Samantha, Sadie, Brick, Eva, Dakota, Ethan