~A/N~ Unlucky Episode 13... Hello again, valued readers! It's final five time, and this has been the most anticipated chapter for me personally. Hopefully you'll agree by the end of this episode, because this chapter... You'll just have to read and see for yourselves. ;)

Chris nervously turned to the five remaining campers. "Well..."

"Explain," Eva said, her eyes narrowing.

The host backed up and felt his butt touch the railing of the boat. He chuckled nervously. "Why, uh, whatever do you mean?" The campers continued to glare angrily. "Fine," he sighed. "The island is a former government testing zone."

The final five gasped, grabbing the railing as the boat hit a rough wave.

"Government testing?!" Dakota. "Like, mutation?!"

"No," Chris rolled his eyes. "Well, actually, I don't even know. After our 'All-Stars' finale, I washed up here and thought it would make a good temporary location for a new season while our other location was being developed out near Vancouver. I saw a few warning signs and 'No Tresspassing' labels, but hey, the island was free. So, I looked up the place and found out that the Canadian government used the place as a testing ground in the 80s. It was abandoned after the Cold War and no one even came back to clean it out. So, yeah, Staci was right after all."

Noah's jaw dropped. "Well, we're screwed whenever they find out we were there. I'm sure Big Bro just loves trespassing."

"And that's why we're never going back there again," Chris said. He walked into the driver's area where Chef and a sleeping Harold were. "Right, Chef?"

Chef shrugged. "Yeah, but I figured you'd be more mad about losing your underground base full of self-portraits and statues and stuff."

Chris' eyes opened wide. "What?! You didn't grab any of it?!"

"Whadda you think?" Chef asked sarcastically.

"But... my bust..." A tear dropped from Chris' eyes. He quickly regained composure and calmed himself. "At least I still have everything back at my mansion in Toronto."

Eva tapped her chin then gasped. "You grabbed the money, right, cook?!"

"Hey, I ain't no scummy cook!" Chef argued.

Eva grabbed him and pushed him against the steering wheel. "You left the money on the island? You're kidding?!" She dropped Chef and stormed out of the cabin.

"It's just a hundred grand," Noah rolled his eyes. "Your life is probably more valuable than a bunch of paper."

Eva growled and collapsed onto the deck. "But I made it so far this time. I put up with everyone here for two weeks, and now I'm robbed at the final stretch?! Bullshit!"

Dakota pouted. "Money or no money, I'm not going back there. Right, Chris?"

"Sorry, Dakota, but I'm with Eva on this one. Without the money, how am I gonna get four more episodes of footage out? If I don't fill the quota, I could get laid off!" The host sunk down into the fetal position and shuddered.

Dakota slapped her forehead and looked at Samantha and Jordan. Both were sitting on opposite ends of the deck, facing away from each other. "What do you guys say?" Dakota asked.

"I say we throw Jordan overboard," Samantha sneered.

Jordan scoffed. "Really? So mature, huh?"

The two slipped back into silence, so Dakota grabbed Sam's golden hair and yanked her up. "I don't know what's gonna happen, but I hate you." She sighed. "Man, that went nowhere..."

Samantha began to hyperventilate. "I... I didn't take your idol! Jordan gave it to me! I swear I wasn't me!"

"Liar!" Jordan shot up and pointed at Samantha with anger. "Way to throw me under the bus. You found the idol in Brick's bag and..."

"And you knew where it was how!?" Dakota grew red with rage. "Ugh! I'm so confused!"

"Jordan stole the idol, gave it to Samantha, and took it back, like, ten minutes ago," Noah rolled his eyes from where he was sitting. "I thought you were paying attention."

"And how did you know that?!" Dakota asked furiously.

"I payed attention."

Dakota gave up and dropped Samantha's hair. She collapsed to the ground and buried her head in her hands.

The five campers sat in dead silence, accompanied by the buzz of the boat's motor. Chris finally stood up and smiled. "I got it!"

"Got what? An STD?" Noah frowned.

"No!" Chris groaned. "An idea for a challenge! The five of you will return to the island and retrieve the money, plus whatever you can carry out of the underground HQ! It's genius!"

"Yeah, if genius means crazy!" Jordan gasped in terror.

"Well, I am a mad genius," Chris said proudly. "Yeah, it's challenge time!"

"No!" Noah, Dakota, Samantha, and Jordan screamed in protest. However, Eva gave Chris a thumbs-up.

"Well, that's one of you... Sounds good to me. Chef, head to Boney Island! It's time!"

"Why are you going back!" Noah said. "That place is probably crawling with government mercenaries by now! It's practically suicide!"

"Yeah, your suicide," Chris winked. "I'll be perfectly safe while you retrieve the hundred thousand dollars from the jaws of certain death. It's worth it."

"No way," Samantha said defiantly. "Never again!"

Chris glared at the four rebels with disdain. "Well..."

A stir from the cabin alerted the crew to Harold's awakening. He sat up and rubbed his head. "What happened?"

"You hit ya' head during the evacuation," Chef said. "You're just lucky that I wasn't carryin' anything so I could get you out."

Harold stood up and looked at the final five and Chris. "So... What now?"

"Well, we don't have the money any more, so the season is sunk unless the rest of these bozos get moving and take it back," Chris said with a hint in despair in his smooth voice.

The nerd gasped. "What?! You don't have the money?! But what about the rest of the season? And what about my camera time?!"

"Unless the final five get it back, it's gone."

Harold looked at the final five with desperation. "Please, guys! You have to do it! For the show, for the drama, for the fans!"

"No," said Noah in his least interested voice yet.

"Fat chance," Jordan scowled.

"I'm in!" Eva shouted enthusiastically.

"Yes!" Harold hissed. "Then it's you and me 'till the end!"

Chris grabbed Harold by the shoulder. "Hold on. You're staying with me."

"Why?" Harold whined. "So you have someone to throw into the soldiers when they come to drag you back to prison?"

"Great plan, but no," Chris smiled. "I need you here at HQ to keep me pampered while the final five hit the island."

"We're not doing it!" Dakota groaned. "I told you already!"

"Oh, you're doing it. It's a challenge, and it's for a good reward."

Chef docked the boat of losers at Boney Island and the group stepped onto the rickety pier.

"No money is worth our lives," Samantha sighed. "I'm staying right here." The others, barring Eva, nodded in agreement with her.

"Guys..." Harold began, stepping forward. "You have to. Think about your fans."

"You mean those horny NoCo fan girls who e-mail me hentai everyday? I've been trying to block them all for two years!"

"Yes," Harold said. "Even them. You guys have so many people out there rooting for you right now! Can you just let them down like this?"

"I have fans?!" Jordan gasped with excitement.

"Well, not you nor Samantha, but Noah, Dakota, Eva... you're famous! People waited six seasons to see you return for the title, and you're just gonna let everything slip away? For shame, guys. For shame..."

"Well, he got me," Jordan shrugged. "I'm in."

"Me too," Samantha sighed.

Noah and Dakota remained resolute. Harold approached them and got down on his knees. "Please! You two are true Total Drama underdogs! Dakota, you came back from mutation and made something of yourself. Noah, you..."

"Exactly," the bookworm rolled his eyes.

"Well, don't give up so easily," Harold pleaded. "Either you go for the cash or live in shame!"

"Nice false dichotomy, dude," Noah sneered. "But I'm still out."

Chris suddenly interrupted the scene. "Did I mention that the person who gets the money back gets to send someone packing? Cause that's pretty big."

Noah bit his lip, thinking about the proposition. He looked at Jordan and back to Chris. "You know what? Forget it. I'm in, if only to make sure that Jordan loses."

Jordan sneered as the others gave Noah a pat on the back, leaving Dakota to decide.

"Fine," she moaned.

"Then it's a challenge!" Chris exclaimed. "Follow me and we'll get started."

Noah, Jordan, Dakota, Samantha, and Eva sat on the bench inside the military chopper, piloted by Chef, with parachute packs strapped to their backs.

"Pretty cool that we had this thing stashed on Boney Island, huh?" Chris smirked. "I knew it would come in handy eventually."

"I can't believe Harold talked us into this," Dakota mumbled.

"What was that?" Chris glared at Dakota.

"Nothing," she said, snapping herself back into posture.

Noah yawned. "This is stupid. Couldn't we at least sleep first?"

"No," Chris growled. "Money never sleeps, and neither do you. And don't worry. Once we get the cash back, you all will have plenty of time to rest back at the Playa in the case that we can't take the island back as well. We'll be dropping in two minutes, so I'll get Chef ready. Behave, kiddies." Chris walked into the cockpit with a strut in his step, leaving the five players to converse.

Jordan and Samantha looked away from each other.

Confessional

Samantha: *She looks around in the cargo hold* "This isn't too bad for a cargo hold, I guess. Anyways, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I have no allies, Jordan turned on me, and now my idol's gone. But I do know that I have to get rid of Jordan... but maybe if I keep him around, he'll distract the others from voting me off. No... that's bad. Well, not bad, but just... not good?"

Jordan: "Yeah, I stole the idol back, but it's hardly stealing if you owned it first. Plus, I've been playing that fool since day... four, I think. Yeah, that's the one. She was easy pickings, and I needed an ally, so I took her while she was still desperate. I thought I was going to keep her around until the final three, but she went too far, and I had to discipline her... I know you guys in the audience are angry, but haters gonna hate."

Eva: "Final five? Hell yeah! The only problem is that this challenge is ridiculously difficult. I've lifted six hundred pounds over my head, killed a yeti with my bare hands, pulled a bus with my jaw, and a bunch of other realistically impossible things, but this is a whole new game, and it's time to bust some chops... starting with Jordan!"

Dakota: "I can't believe I'm doing this, but money is money, and we need money really bad. Daddy spent so much on my treatment that we went broke and had to mortgage our six mansions just to afford dinner. And about that idol thief... (bleep) her and her stupid friend! It's like she wants to go home at this point, and I have no problem with it.

Noah: "Meh. It's a better challenge that dodgeball or Ripper hunting, but I'm only doing this to stop Jordan. I hate to admit it, but Ale-drago and Anti-Me have nothing on that eel. Sure, it's not worth my life, but anger makes a person do some odd things. And... Dawn... I actually miss her. At least she was semi-sane compared to everyone else around here."

End Confessional

Chris walked back into the cabin and winked. "It's a go! Get ready to jump in thirty seconds!" He opened the side of the helicopter and the cold air started to suck everyone off of their seats. "Who's first?!"

Jordan peeked outside and saw the island below, illuminated by the full moon, albeit at about 1000 feet. "No problem! I've always wanted to skydive!" He prepped for his jump as Eva, Samantha, Dakota, and Noah lined up behind him in that order.

"Find the money and bring it to the eastern beach! Whoever gets the cash gets to pick tonight's loser! And... Go!" Chris shouted, pushing Jordan out of the doors. He continued to push them all out until Noah was left. He was starting to have second thoughts, but Chris shoved him outside anyways.

In the air, Jordan was panicking and pulled his string, but the straps of the backpack ripped off with the chute and left him flailing for safety as the jerkass screamed. He hit the water and emerged with a shiver.

Eva pulled her string and was immediately slowed by her chute, but a gust of wind blew her off course and straight into the side of a rocky cliff. She tried to grab onto the side, but she fell into the woods below with Noah following behind her in the exact same manner.

Dakota and Samantha landed safely on the beach together and immediately pushed each other away.

"Watch it!" Dakota snorted. "Don't hog the landing space!"

Samantha stood up and brushed herself off. "Well, I'm not sticking around; I know that for sure. No respect!" She started to walk off, but Dakota snorted with laugher. "What?"

"Do you even know where the money is?" Dakota rolled her eyes, smiling.

"Do you?" Samantha sneered.

The balding teen tried to return with a witty retort, but realized that she had no clue of where the cash was... at all. "Wait... Did Chris ever tell us where the money was?"

"Uh..."

"Seriously?!" Dakota kicked around a chunk of seaweed. "He couldn't even bother telling us where to go?!"

"Well, he said it was a challenge, so, yeah, it's a real challenge now. Perfect, huh?"

Dakota snapped her body away towards the forest and turned her nose up. "Well, I'm smart enough to find it, so good luck and good riddance, because I'm not sticking-"

Suddenly, a humming noise radiated from down the beach and a pair of headlights illuminated the shoreline. Both girls gasped and dove behind a large boulder. They held their breath until the vehicle passed by and disappeared around the bend in the coast. The girls shared a nervous glance that slowly developed into sneers.

Jordan emerged from the lake with seaweed all over his body. He coughed up the lake water and collapsed on the sand as a pair of bright lights approached the beach. The jerk panicked and played dead as the lights drove by without the soldiers inside the armored truck noticing his limp body. He slowly lifted his head sneakily with a curl to his lips. "This could get messy."

Noah looked up as Eva tried squirming out of the entanglement of vines, branches, and fabric. The bully was caught in her parachute and was trapped, but Noah could only watch, as she was twenty feet in the air.

"Noah! Get a branch or something for me to grab!" Eva demanded. "Do it now!"

"Have you tried biting the cords with that crocodile jaw of yours?" Noah rolled his eyes. "At least try, because I got nothing to give you."

Eva groaned and bit down on the ropes of her parachute, breaking one but unfortunately chipping a tooth. She gasped in pain.

"You okay, Eva?" Noah asked as he fiddled with a twig in his hands. "Need me to call 911 or can you do it?"

"I'm fine. Just give me a few more seconds and I'll-" Eva suddenly fell out of the ropes when the branch she was snagged on snapped at the base, sending her straight to the cold, hard ground with a thud. She sat up and brushed the mud off of her face. "Done."

"Meh. Five outta ten on that landing, but good aerial game," Noah quipped, annoying Eva.

"Let's just find that case before the others get their grimy mitts on it."

"Cool plan, but where is the money, and is it even in a case?"

Eva paused and sighed. "And back to square one."

"Well, I'd guess the money is underground in Chris' bunker thing, but it could be buried in chest somewhere for all we know. Wanna check out the bunker?"

"As long as we're moving, I'm fine," Eva growled. "But I lead the way, got it?"

"Sure thing," Noah smiled, letting Eva walk past him.

Eva stopped and turned back. "Uh, where's the entrance again?"

Samantha and Dakota peeked up from behind the rock and sighed in relief before sneering at each other. However, Sam's sneer turned to a sad pout.

"Don't give me that face!" Dakota hissed viciously. "I'm not going to pity you, even if what you said wasn't a lie."

"But I didn't take your idol!" Samantha groaned, sitting on the rock and grabbing her pant legs. "It was Jordan!"

"Prove it."

Samantha nervously looked to the dark sky and the full moon. "I can't..."

"Just what I thought. Have fun on your own." Dakota started to walk away, but Samantha told her stop. "What now?"

"Just stop for a minute..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm s-sorry for what happened... and I'm sorry about... everything." Samantha gazed at Dakota with puppy eyes.

"Nice try, but suckups don't work on me," Dakota mumbled. She continued walking towards the beach, leaving Samantha frustrated.

Confessional

Samantha: "I don't get it! I apologized against my will and she doesn't even care? I don't like her at all, but I don't want to be out here alone!"

Dakota: "After what's happened these past two weeks, who can ever trust her again? I know I won't."

End Confessional

As Dakota entered the woods, Samantha hung a few dozen yards behind her without the former caring a bit.

Jordan watched as Dakota and Samantha walked into the thick brush and huddled behind a large rock. "Great," he mumbled. "No clue where the money is, no ally, and nowhere to go."

He looked at the woods, scanning for movement. The jerk stood up and stretched his arms and legs. He couldn't help but wonder where Noah or Eva were, but part of him wanted to stay alone. Interacting with the others would only lead to tension, and stealth was going to be Jordan's friend.

A light emerged from the bend in the beach and a humanoid figure slowly came into view. It was wearing a hazmat suit and wielding a gun with a flashlight attachment on it's scope. Jordan ducked back down and watched in silence as the solider discovered the girl's tracks leading into the forest. The man pulled out a radio and spoke for a few seconds before going in after the makers of the prints. Jordan smiled. "This could be good."

Eva and Noah were walking through the brush until they heard speaking in the distance. Eva hushed Noah with a finger over his mouth and they both tuned into the vocalizations. The noise stopped and Eva crept forward with her smaller friend behind her. They cleared a steep hill to see a large, armored van with it's headlights on at the bottom of the hill with two soldiers watching the surrounding woods.

"Stay here," Eva whispered. She slowly crept towards the men as Noah raised an eyebrow.

Confessional

Noah: "Yeah, she's crazy."

End Confessional

The men walked around to the opposite side of the vehicle and Eva saw her chance. She advanced and managed to roll under the van before the soldiers returned to their positions.

Noah bit at his nails as Eva carried out her mission, but didn't want to get involved.

Finally, one soldier left his post again, leaving the other vulnerable. Eva rolled out from under the truck and grabbed the man by the neck, pulling him to the ground and holding tight until he passed out. It was then that the other solider discovered the teen and tried to raise his rifle to attack, but he was hit in the head by a rock thrown from the bushes. Eva saw her chance and tackled the man to the ground. She grabbed him by the back of his protective suit and tossed him into the side of the truck, knocking him out instantly, but not killing him.

Noah stepped out of the bushes and smiled. "Nice work, Iron Woman, but how is this going to help us find the hundred grand?"

"No time to explain, just help me get their pants off!" Eva growled, grabbing at the man's suit.

"Excuse me?!" Noah gasped in disgust.

"Not in that way!" Eva rolled her eyes. "We're pullin' a Trojan!"

"The horse or the birth control?" Noah narrowed his eyes.

"What do you think?" Eva hissed quietly.

"Fine," Noah sighed, pulling at the other's suit. "But if contract a disease from this, I'm totally suing you."

"Ha ha ha," Eva mumbled angrily, mocking her pencil-thin friend. "Just get their clothes."

Chris, Chef Hatchet, and Harold anchored the boat of losers a hundred yards off shore and turned off their lights to avoid detection. The host with the most whipped out a pair of binoculars and looked around the beach. All he saw was a set of canoes, a motorboat, and lots of sand. "Well, they're not back, and it's been an hour. You don't think they died, do you?"

"Well, we'd know for sure if you'd given them walkie-talkies," Harold scoffed. "You should totally listen to me more."

"The kid's right," Chef said. "You didn't even tell 'em were the money was."

"They can figure it out," Chris sighed angrily. "Just... do something useful. I'm trying to watch."

Harold and Chef shrugged and walked back into the cabin as the host continued to spy upon the beach. Sets of lights moved by and Chris gulped. "Please be safe," he whispered.

Dakota tripped over a branch and fell into the mud. She sat up and moaned in despair. The woods around her were dark and shadowy, causing her to see shapes in the spaces between the trees that seemed to move with the wind. "Ok, that's creepy," she whimpered. "Just a bit more, right?" She stood up and began to shiver. Dakota leaned against a tree and growled. "Why am I even here? Just why?"

"Freeze!" A voice erupted behind her and Dakota whipped around in shock with her hands up. A solider in a hazmat suit was aiming his rifle at her, illuminating her shaking body with his light. "Down on your knees! Now!"

Dakota was paralyzed and couldn't move.

"Do as I say or I'll shoot!" The man moved forward and Dakota collapsed, her breath shallow. He pulled out a small radio and clicked a button. "It's Oliver; I found a girl out here... Yes, she's alive... Ok, I'll tie her up for now... Hold? Got it, sir... Her name? I..." Suddenly, the man collapsed in pain and dropped his radio into the muck. It was Samantha with her foot ready to kick again. The man rolled around in despair as he grabbed at his crotch. Dakota looked at the other girl.

"Still want me gone?" Samantha huffed. She grabbed the man by the pack on back and pulled out a long coil of rope.

"Yeah," Dakota stood up. "But... thanks, I guess."

Samantha quickly tied the solider to a nearby tree and turned back to Dakota as she tied the knot. "Just know that I didn't save you. I just want an answer about what the hell is going on." She looked to the groaning solider. "Wanna talk?"

"What are-are y-you doing here?" Oliver gasped. "This place was off limits."

"Then why are you here?" Dakota asked.

"That's classified," he replied. "You're never gonna find out anything from me."

Samantha snatched the man's collar and hissed. "Tell me, or I'll kick you again... harder!"

"Never!" Oliver growled.

Dakota tapped her chin in deep thinking before hatching an idea. "I got it! Make sure he stays here. I think I know how to get him to talk."

Meanwhile, Jordan was nowhere to be found, but Eva and Noah had suited up in hazmat suits and stolen the armored truck for their own use. The bully had immediately taken the driver's side, leaving Noah to call shotgun, not that he had a problem with that.

"So, what now?" Noah asked. "Find that manhole thing and get underground, or do you want to take the rest of the army down? Because I really like the first one."

"I'm not going to take all of them down unless they get in my way of the money."

"So, it's your money now? I thought we were a team?"

"We are, but I'm winning this for myself. You're just here to help me out."

Noah sighed. "Fine, but as long Jordan goes home, I'm happy."

"Oh, he will. Unless he somehow wins, he's a good as gone."

Noah was about to speak again, but another truck was approaching, so Eva stopped the truck and the duo put their helmets on, making them look like regular soldiers, but shorter.

The other van pulled over next to them and Eva rolled down the window. "Yo," she said, causing Noah to cringe.

"Seen anything?" one of the soldiers, a woman, asked.

"Nothing yet," Noah said in a deep voice.

"Well, get to searching sector twelve," the soldier said.

Both teens saluted and the soldiers returned to their truck, but at the last second, the woman turned back. "Heh, aren't you a little short to be in this squad?"

"Aren't you a little to occupied with army stuff to be making Star Wars references?" Eva growled.

"Yeah," the soldier said, hanging her head in shame. "Good luck... I guess."

As the truck drove away, Noah and Eva took off their helmets. "I can't believe that worked," Noah said in surprise.

"Yeah, me too," Eva shrugged. "I guess those goons aren't the brightest."

"Takes one to know one," Noah quipped, earning a growl from Eva.

Dakota approached the tied up man with her hands cupped together. "Ready to talk?"

"Never!" Oliver hissed. "Nothing you can do will ever make me talk!"

Samantha looked at Dakota. "Do it."

Dakota smiled and held out her hand, revealing a large spider with long-term hairy legs and a dozen black eyes. Oliver screamed as Dakota gently placed the creature of nightmares on his chest. Girlish screams filled the air as the spider crawled onto his face. "I'll tell! I'll tell! Just get it off!"

Samantha smiled and picked up the spider. "Now tell us: Why are you here?"

"It was a signal," Oliver shuddered with tears streaming down his face. "One of our underground labs was infiltrated. It... was an old lab, but it still sent out an alarm to HQ. We thought it was some kind of terrorist plot and came as soon as we were granted permission by the government."

"Well, Staci was telling the truth," Dakota sighed. She turned back to Oliver. "What's in that lab?"

"Equipment, tubes, computers, everything. We were studying biotic warfare in the eighties. Bacterial plagues... Viral outbreaks... Ways to kill. That's why we had to wear our suits. We couldn't risk contamination."

Samantha started to gasp for breath. "Oh God, are we infected?"

"No... we didn't get any signals of outbreak, but there were terrible things done in that lab... No one's safe until we verify it as clean. Let me go, and I can verify it."

"No way," Dakota scoffed. "You're staying right here until your little friends find you... If they find you, that is." She turned to Samantha. "Ready to get the money?"

"Money?!" Oliver gasped. Dakota shoved a pinecone in his mouth as a gag.

"You actually want to work with me?" Samantha said, her eyes narrowed.

"No, but I want to live. And if I need to work with you to make it out, then I'll do it."

Samantha held out her hand for a shake. "Temporary truce?"

Dakota left her hanging. "No. Now let's go. I think I have a good idea of where the money is, and it's close."

The girls walked off, leaving Oliver tied up in the darkness. A woodpecker landed on his head and pecked at it as he screamed through his gag. Something stirred in the woods behind him, but went unnoticed.

Eva and Noah had driven for ten minutes or so, but still hadn't found the entrance to Chris' bunker. Eva was growing angry and frustrated, but Noah was much more patient and had propped his feet up on the dashboard.

"How much longer is it?" Eva asked. "Are we close?"

"We should be," Noah sighed. "It's in a clearing on the eastern side of the island, so we're not far."

"Well, I'm just ready to get off of the island," the Iron Woman hissed. "I'm sick of this show."

"You're the one who wanted to come here in the first place, remember?"

"Yeah, but I thought it would be easier."

"Well, maybe we should-"

"Hey! Look!" Eva slammed on the breaks and Noah shot forward, hitting him in the gut with his seatbelt. "We made it!"

Eva opened the door and Noah crawled out in pain. In the faint headlights was a large metal dome: the entrance.

"Thank God," Eva mumbled. "Time to do this. Ready, Noah?"

Noah slowly pulled himself to his feet and gave her a shaky thumbs-up.

"Nice. Time to end this and bust some chops!"

A snap of a branch alerted the duo the approaching figures in the bushes. They gasped, turned, and came face to face with Samantha and Dakota, who sighed in relief, or at least Dakota did.

"Dakota? What happened?" Noah asked, surveying the mud all over her body.

"She tripped," Samantha said.

"Yeah, he didn't ask you," Eva growled. "Shut it."

Dakota looked at Eva and rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest, Eva. She's on our side for the rest of the challenge, because unless we work together, then we're gonna die."

"Seriously?" Eva moaned. "Why her? She's useless."

Samantha raised her hand in protest. "But-"

"No time," Noah said. "Let's just go before those government wackjobs find this place."

The four campers looked at each other and nodded, except for Samantha of course. She just hung behind the rest of them as they moved on into the bunker. Eva opened the hatch and Noah, Dakota, and Samantha followed behind her, with Samantha forgetting to close it.

Inside the bunker was the generator room, all of which were alive and running, supplying light to the compound. Eva opened the nearest door and stepped into the hall. The walls were white and lavish, and doors going to other rooms lined each side of the corridor. Lights hung from the ceiling and illuminated the red carpeted floor.

"So, where would the money be, if it's even down here?" Dakota asked cluelessly as she tapped on a painting of Chris himself.

"Somewhere with tons of security..." Noah said slyly. "We should split up to search the place."

"Again?!" Dakota gasped. "The last time we did this, I got eaten by a monster!"

"That was a virtual challenge," Eva said. "This is real, so no monsters, you big baby."

Samantha snickered, drawing Dakota's attention. "Laugh all you want, Sammy, but after Jordan goes, you're next."

"Where is Jordan?" Noah asked. "Not that I care, but I haven't seen him since we took the drop."

"I don't know," Samantha shrugged. "If we haven't seen him yet, that's a good thing, right?"

"Maybe he already got the cash and ran," Eva gasped. "Don't tell me that's what happened!"

"Well, let's not think about that," Dakota cringed as she opened up a door, revealing several nude statues of Chris surrounding his hot tub. "Well, Jordan I mean."

"I concur," Noah deadpanned. "Just open up these doors and look from top to bottom. Leave no stone unturned...

The group split and each took a separate hall. Noah opened his first door to see a library-like room. He quietly snuck inside and grabbed a couple books to shove in the backpack he stole from the soldier.

Eva busted down a locked door to find a room full of monitors, each with a separate part of the island being filmed. "Wow," she said, her mouth agape. She looked at the screens and saw soldiers moving on nearly every video feed.

Samantha opened a door to find shelves of golden award statues. She grabbed one and whistles innocently as she shoved it into her pants.

Dakota opened her door to discover a long hallway. At the far end were lasers stretching from side to side and on the other side... the case of cash! She turned around and leaned into the hallway. "I found it!"

The three others rushed to her side and ran down the hall until they were standing inches from the red beams of light.

"Nice find," Noah said optimistically before switching to his deadpan voice. "Too bad we have to die to get it."

Eva eyed Noah suspiciously. "Say, weren't you good with lasers in season three?"

"Uh, no," Noah cringed. "Why?"

"You could totally do this, Noah," Dakota said. "I saw you own this thing in World Tour."

"World Tour?" Samantha scratched her head.

"Just go," Eva pushed Noah forward against his will. The bookworm tried to push her away, but he was too weak. "Stop fighting. I saw you do this before, so do it again... but with money this time and not a glorified rock."

"Why can't Samantha do it?" he asked nervously. "She looks skinny, plus she likes gymnastics."

"She'd steal it," Eva said.

"Yeah, totally," Samantha agreed, if only to save her own skin. Dakota glared at her.

Noah finally gave in. "Fine," he said. He moved forward and was about to step through the first set of lasers when they mysteriously shut down. "Uh..."

"Lucky break?" Dakota asked with uncertainty and disbelief.

"Yeah, and I'm taking it!" Eva charged through the hall, grabbed the case, and returned in the blink of an eye. The lasers still never came back on.

"Nice," Dakota smirked. "Now let's-"

Suddenly, a set of iron bars slammed down in front of the group, startling Eva and causing her to drop the case on the opposite side before getting trapped with the other three teens. She immediately grabbed at the thick bars, but froze in place when she was met with a familiar chuckle.

Jordan strutted around the corner with a remote in his hands. "Nice job, guys. You really know how to find your way around this place." He picked up the case of money and smiled. "So close, huh?"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Noah gasped. "You followed us?!"

"Well, only Dakota and Samantha McFlipflop," he grinned. "They led me down here and I decided to lay in wait. I even grabbed this remote from Chris' office too!" He pushed a button and the lasers came back online. "Cool, huh?"

"No! Now let us out so I can bust your skull!" Eva reached out, but the villain was inches out of her reach.

"Jordan, just let us out!" Samantha pleaded. "Is this how you want to win it?!"

"Uh, yeah," he said. "If I leave you down here, then I'm officially the last camper standing, meaning more moolah for me and a life sentence for you... unless you jump into the lasers first."

"You're sick in the head!" Noah screamed. "If I get out of this thing, you'll be sorry!"

"Oh, I'm not sorry at all. You took my right as team leader away from me!" He looked to Samantha. "You voted for me behind my back!" He faced Eva and her red face. "You beat me up and made me look weak." He turned to Dakota. "You, uh, I'm... not sure what you did, but I don't care. You're all finished, and I'm rich!"

"Just to let you know," Noah growled. "I didn't steal your role as leader; you dumped it yourself by being a colossal douche!"

"Yeah!" Eva shouted angrily, trying to pry open the bars.

Samantha stood up and stepped forward. "You're a monster; I should never have joined you!"

"And you're so perfect yourself, huh? You laughed about hurting Tyler in the confessional. Who's the real monster now?"

Noah turned to Samantha in shock. "You laughed about that?! What the (bleep)?!"

"Yeah, she laughed, then said it was because she had mood swings! She's hiding something," Jordan smiled wickedly. "She's worse than me by a landslide!"

"No, she's not!" Dakota said defiantly. "At least she plays somewhat fair! You locked us in a cage to die, all because you wanted the money!"

"Well, money is more valuable than your lives to me. Plain and simple," he snorted.

"Y'know," Noah growled. "If you wanted to be team captain like you always were back home, you should've just asked instead of all this. Now, you're the most hated camper in Total Drama history..."

Jordan took a deep breath. "I've never been leader... anywhere!"

The four teens watched in surprise and Jordan began to flare his nostrils and clench his fists.

"Back home, I've always played second fiddle to everyone else. No one ever showed me any respect. Do you know what it feels like to fail at everything, but to constantly tell yourself, to lie, about how awesome you are just to earn respect... and never get it? You don't know anything about me! You can all die here for all I care, because here, I'm the real leader of the this game! I played Samantha, I played Noah, and I beat all of you!" Jordan grabbed the case and ran outside before leaning back inside. "Oh, and here's a nice little rap verse to end our game! You stupid pricks... can suck my dick!" He left.

Eva continued to pull at the bars as Samantha, Noah, and Dakota stood, hopeless and defeated.

Jordan had finally done it. He had won at long last. All he had to do was get the money to Chris and it was his! He ran through the corridors until he reached a large room with a set of four four-wheelers resting on the stone floor. "Awesomeness!" he cackled maniacally.

"Do something!" Eva shouted. "He's getting away!"

"Why bother?" Dakota sighed. "We're locked up and have no way out. The best thing I can do now is admire my new hair." She pulled out her foldable pocket-sized mirror and looked at herself before looking at the lasers. "Uh, how strong are those beams?"

"Pretty strong," Noah sighed angrily. "Like my anger right now."

"Eva, get out of the way," Dakota said calmly. "Now!"

Eva backed off as Dakota knelt down beside the beams. She slowly moved her mirror towards the laser until it was reflected onto the iron bars. The teens gasped as the bars were cut clean in half and fell to the ground.

"Go!" Eva shouted, running after Jordan. The others followed, but Dakota stayed in place.

"What?! No 'Thanks for saving our lives, Dakota?'" No one replied, so she stormed off after Jordan as well.

Jordan had started up his vehicle and a massive trapdoor opened up in the hillside, allowing the jerkass to drive off as Eva busted through the door.

"After him!" she bellowed.

Noah walked in and examined the four-wheelers. "Hmmmm... Three left, and four of us..."

Samantha quickly jumped on one of the vehicles and motioned for Eva to get on. "Hurry!" she panted.

"Not with you, I'm not!" Eva growled.

"I know you hate me, but I know how to drive these things! Either you jump on or we lose him!"

Eva looked to Dakota and Noah, who were taking their seats on their own vehicles. She sighed and crawled behind Samantha.

"Hold on and don't choke me!" the gymnast shouted over the purr of the motor. She floored it and sped off through the woods as Noah and Dakota followed way behind.

Chris was still waiting with his binoculars to his eyes. If there was any action, there was no way he was going to miss it.

"Uh, Chris, you've been there for over an hour," Harold said. "You can give it a rest if you want..." Chris didn't respond. "I said you-"

"No! Now go away!" Chris hissed.

Harold sighed and went to Chef. "Wanna play twenty questions?"

"No," the burly man replied.

Harold sighed and sat on the side of the boat.

A few seconds passed and Chris exploded with excitement. "Hey! It's Jordan!"

Back at the beach, Jordan shut off the engine and ran over to the docked motorboat. He threw the case of money into the seat behind him and turned the ignition key, but it didn't start. "And of course... it's broken," Jordan sighed impatiently. "I don't have time for this!"

He jumped out of the boat with case in hand and rushed over to the set of canoes. Jordan took a paddle in his hands and was pushing the boat into the water when he heard the sound of an approaching engine. It was Eva and Samantha, the former's face as red as hell itself.

Jordan screamed like a little girl and hurried into the boat. Samantha sped up and Eva leaped onto Jordan when she was close enough, but Samantha hit a beached log and went flying into the surf.

Eva vs. Jordan. Badass vs bad. It was on. Eva rocketed series of punches at his face and he dodged every one of them. Jordan grabbed an oar and swung it at his rival, but she caught it in the air and whipped it away from his grip, throwing it into the water.

The female bully fell down on top of Jordan when a wave shook the boat and he pushed her off. Eva toppled into the water and grabbed the side of the canoe, capsizing the wooden boat and knocking Jordan, as well as the case, into the churning water.

Jordan grabbed at the money and tried swimming away, but Eva grabbed his foot and pulled him back to shore before delivering a punch to his face. He quickly retaliated by hitting her in the forehead with a piece of rotten driftwood, splintering the plank and covering her face in sand and mud.

She fell back and Jordan jumped on top of her, grabbing at her neck with his hands and starting to choke her. She squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, but the pain in her stinging eyes kept her down. Eva was beginning to suffocate, but tried to pull Jordan's hands off of her throat with no avail. Just as she was about to pass out, Jordan wickedly grinned in glee, but that face soon went limp as a shadow overcame the both of them and Jordan was hit square on the head with an oar. The shaft broke and Jordan collapsed on top of Eva. She gasped for breath and got to her sitting pose. Above her, with a broken oar in his hands and a look of anger on his face, was Noah.

The bookworm sighed and held out his hand for Eva. She grabbed it and stood up, seeing Dakota and Samantha smiling. "Didn't know you had it in you, egghead," Eva said, looking at the passed out Jordan laying face down in the sand.

"Neither did I, but anger makes you do some pretty crazy things," Noah smiled.

"Takes one to know one," Eva chuckled, grabbing at her sore neck. "So, wanna get outta here?"

"Yeah," Samantha winked. "Let's do that." She looked at Jordan before taking her seat in the canoe. Dakota and the others followed suit with the money in Eva's hands.

Chris and Chef pulled the four campers into the boat of losers as Harold congratulated them.

"So, Eva?" Chris asked, taking the case from her hands. "Who's going home? Not that I need to ask, that is."

Eva looked to the other three teens and back to Chris. "Jordan."

Chris clapped. "And what a show that was, huh? Serves him right... say, uh, should we go back for him?"

Silence followed and the campers and hosts remained silent until they all burst out laughing about Jordan's fate. The sun was rising, and after a long laugh, Chris commandeered Chef to take them back to the Playa, ready to start the game again, and with much less Jordan this time.

Oliver walked up to the commander with shame in his eyes.

"The results?" the stout man asked.

"Nothing. It's clean."

"Good. Tell your troops to stay here for the time being. We want to make sure this place is safe."

Oliver saluted and walked off as the commander smiled. "Finally, something easy."

Confessional

Oliver: *He stares into the camera* "This is... oddly familiar..."

End Confessional

Kick of Shame: Jordan

Jordan woke up with a tightness around his entire body. He opened his eyes to see two men in protective suits wheeling him down a hallway on a stretcher.

"The (bleep) are you doing?!" he panicked, earning him a blast from one of the men's shock sticks. He passed out again while he was screaming "NOOOOOOOoooooooo..."

End Kick of Shame: Jordan

Eliminated: Debbie, Justin, Tyler (1), Anne Maria, B, Sadie, Katie, Ethan, Staci, Tyler, Brick, Dawn, Jordan

Remaining Players: Noah, Samantha, Dakota, Eva

~A/N~ I think I can hear the applause from my living room.

Yep, Jordan's gone! Hallelujah, right? Right. I know how hated he was, and to think I originally had him going FURTHER than this is insane. Still, I loved writing his arc and think he was really effective as a main antagonist, even though he was a bit flat at times. Hopefully you guys enjoyed, and until next time... Foreseer out!

Review Replies! (We hit 120! Thank you SO MUCH The Abysswalker and JojiMC! You two are officially awesome to me!)

CVluvVocaloid: I'm glad to know it was a surprise. I thought it was somewhat predictable near the end, but thanks.

acosta perez jose ramiro: Yep. Nailed it.

EvilAngel666: Well, you got your wish. And yes, Samantha did have a redemption arc that's still in full swing.

Karts of Sugar Rush: Thanks for ranking him. He was meant to be hated, so his work here, and mine, is done. ;)

IhateMarySue'sSoooooMuch: Thanks. It's hard to fit good jokes into a drama-centric story, but it's nice to know that you laughed once or twice. (Of course, it was a funny challenge, so that doesn't really say much :/)

The Abysswalker: Too bad you don't have an account. I really want to thank you sooner, but there was no way to get in touch.

JojiMC: Thanks again! I think I've said enough via PM, but again, thanks so much.

And that's the final four! I've already nailed down the rest of the boot order and there are only three chapters left, so review, fav, follow, and hold onto your butts! :D