Chapter 5: Jump

It's been a week. The entire quad has been empty during lunch time for an entire week now. Roxas watched as the quad darkened as the heavy storm clouds gathered in. For the last few day it rained non stopped. Today it finally stopped only to return later during the day. The sound of thunder echoed in the distance. Roxas let out a small sigh and slowly turned to his right.

Namine stood at the end of the corridor. She had a smaller bandage over her scar from the "accident". She looked at him with gentle eyes. He looked back with somber eyes. "How could you even say such a thing...?" he asked her.

She watched as he turned away from her and walk away. Namine walked over to one of the large glass pane windows and glanced out at the quad.

"Now if you want people to respect you, you got to find someone who's weaker than you and shove them down," instructed Larxene.

Namine rubbed her irritated eyes. "Larxene, my eyes burn."

Larxene gave Namine a swift slap across the face. Namine's cheek stung horribly and she held back the tears. "Quit bitchin'!" She forcibly turned Namine around. "See that black-haired girl?" she whispered in Namine's ear. She pointed her long index finger at a small girl with short black hair. She was reading a small novel under one of the trees in the middle of the quad.

Namine gulped and nervously nodded.

"Go and make her your bitch!" Larxene shoved Namine toward the girl.

Namine felt her chest tighten and her legs shake as she walked. She made her way passed a few people as she approached the unsuspecting girl. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest. A few heads turned to watch Namine.

The black-haired girl noticed Namine approach her. She turned her head to look at her and slightly tilted it. "Oh, hello?" She closed her novel and set it aside to sat up to properly meet Namine.

Namine stared at the girl. She felt like her heart would burst out of her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. A lot of people began to gather around and stare. I need my inhaler! She panicked. Namine raised her arms and with all her forced, she shoved the girl into the pavement.

"OOF!" She hit the pavement hard. She looked up to see Namine tower over her. The once fearful look that plagued her eyes turned into something else. It was a sadistic look. The entire quad erupted into laughter. Namine smirked at the helpless girl. "Oh my GOD! You're so fucking pathetic." It was the first time Namine swore and it felt so good to her. The word left a sweet taste in her mouth. Being a bitch was fun and she wanted more. She wanted the satisfaction of dominating over some one's life. It felt so good to be doing it instead of receiving it.

The girl quickly got up and ran over with tears rolling down her face. Namine embraced the warmth of the appraisal she received as she grabbed the girl's novel. She quickly ran back to Larxene.

"Nice!" Larxene gave her a hi-five. "You got a natural talent, Nammie."

Namine felt a warmness inside her chest. She didn't feel like a nobody anymore. "Larxene, I'm going to finally do it." she said, brimming with confidence.

Larxene gave her a playful shove. "Go do it, girl." It was the first time Larxene was genuinely kind to her.

Namine deeply inhaled and strutted straight into the main building. She head her head up high as she passed through the crowd in the hallway. She made a few heads turned as her new-found confidence made her feel drop dead gorgeous. And there he was, right by his locker.

"Hey, Roxas," she said in a flirtatious way. She seductively touched his arm.

"Hey, Namine!" he greeted back.

She leaned against his locker and eyed him up and down. He was one of the hottest boys in school and with him by her side, she'll raise to the top of the social ladder. She bit her lip as she looked up at him. "So Roxas," she breathed. "How about a hot guy like you hook up with a sexy chick like me." She searched for the answers in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Sorry, Namine," Roxas apologized, "but I already have a girlfriend. We can still be friends though."

Girl...friend? The word echoed through her head. She slowly backed up and nervously laughed. "Yeah... w-we can still be... friends." She quickly turned around and escaped. She felt her heart-break. It was the first time she fell in love with someone and it was the first time her heart was broken. She ran into the girl's bathroom and leaned over the sink. She watched as tears dripped down off her face and gather in the sink. She wiped her tear-stained face and looked up into the mirror. Her mascara was running and her blush had smeared off.

"Why doesn't he like me?" She examined her face, her hair, her body. She angrily pinched her slight belly fat. "He'll never like a fat ass like me!" She spun around and ran into an open stall. Namine fell to her knees and hunched over the toilet and her hand quickly reached for her mouth. She reached her index finger as far back as she could and jabbed the back of her throat. She quickly pulled her hand out as she gagged. Her stomach muscles tensed up and she felt whatever she had in her stomach forcibly make its way up and violently exit through her mouth. Namine heavily breathed after she puked. It wasn't enough for her.

"I'll become so irresistible that he can't reject me," Namine vowed. "One day he'll chase after me."

Namine turned away from the window. "One day," she whispered. Suddenly her eyes began to tear up. She felt a terrible burning sensation in her eyes. Namine desperately rubbed her eyes to no avail. She quickly ran the nearest girl's room and leaned over the sink. Namine carelessly ripped out her contacts and switched on the sink to flush out her eyes. She gasped as her eyes felt refreshed. Namine grabbed out paper towel and gentle dabbed her eyes clean. The whole room became a blur.

Namine picked up her ripped contacts. "They're ruined," she sighed. She reached her hand over and grabbed for her handbag in the air. She felt her fingertip gently brush against the top of the bag. She firmly grasped her bag. "I wonder if they're still in here." She dug through her tiny bag, her hand tossing things around until it grabbed an old forgotten item. Namine put her bag to the side and looked at her blurry reflection. She slowly slid the old pair of glasses on her face. Her world became crystal clear and new as if she were looking through a new pair of pure eyes.

Namine stared at herself. She examined the brown framed glasses that hung on the bridge of her nose. She felt like it was the first day of school again of her 1st year. Namine used to despise her glasses after meeting Larxene, but now they warmly hugged her eyes. They felt oddly comforting. For a moment, Namine felt at peace with herself.

Namine felt a crooked grin form on her face. She tightly clenched her fist. "I will have you, Roxas."

The sound of heavy rain drops hitting against the rooftop was almost deafening. Xion tightly wrapped her blanket around her. It was an old sky blue blanket with faded stars decorating it. It was the only thing from her mother. She deeply inhaled them smell of her blanket. No matter how many times she watched it, it smelled faintly of the ocean. Xion always imagined that's how her mother smelled. She liked to picture that her mother loved the beach and would go there every summer. Xion also liked to believe that her mother took her to the beach at least once before they gave her away.

And now she was stuck in her cold room. It was past midnight and her "father" should have drunkenly returned an hour ago from the bar. She felt her tummy cry out for food. Feed me! Feed me! She imagined it said. Xion quietly giggled to herself as she slipped out of bed and walked over to her mini fridge. "How about some puddin'?" she suggested to her stomach. She was open to door to find nothing but a few bottles of water inside.

She lowered her head in disappointment. "Oh, yeah. I forgot to stock up." She looked at her bedroom door. Downstairs in the pantry, there should be some pudding. Xion felt her stomach scream for food as her stomach muscles began to cramp. She felt the sudden urge to puke. "Oh alright!" she snapped at her stomach. "I'll get some pudding."

As if it understood, her stomach muscles relaxed and the feeling of vomiting had subsided. Xion grabbed her blanket and wrapped it around her like it would grant her some powers to ward off anything bad. Xion slowly unlocked her door and pulled it open. She scouted the dark hallway before slowly stepping out. Xion learned through the years how to be light on her feet. Xion silently descended the large staircase. She held her blanket up so she wouldn't trip over it.

As she got closer to the first floor, she saw her "father" passed out drunk on the large couch. His messing dirty blond hair clung to his old scrawny face. Drool pooled from his mouth and on the red velvet couch. His snore filled the living room. Xion watched him as she crept through the living room and into the huge kitchen. Xion jumped at the sudden sensation of the cold marble flooring in the kitchen. Xion quickly pounced over to the match marble top counter and reached up to the cupboard.

Xion quietly opened the door and slipped her other hand in. Her blanket slightly fell off as she reached for some pudding. Her delicate hard touched the familiar cup and she quickly pulled it out. She gently closed the cupboard and ripped off the tin covering of the pudding cup. It was risky but Xion was starving and couldn't wait. She tossed her head back and held the cup upside down over her mouth. Xion shook the cup and the chocolate pudding dripped from the cup and plopped into her mouth and slip down her throat. It sent shivers up her spine as the rich chocolate taste tickled her taste buds. She swallowed as much as she could and then tossed the cup away.

Xion wrapped the blanket around her and quickly made her way back to the stairs. As she began climbing, she felt like something was off. It was quiet.

"You little whore!" screamed her drunken "father". He violently grabbed her blanket and gave a powerful yank.

Xion fell back and tumbled down the stairs. She felt her muscled ache as she tried to stand up. She reached for her blanket only to realize he has it.

He held the blanket up like a prize. "You like this blanket, don't you?" he drunkenly spat. He when he's wasted, he can still talk in coherent sentences.

"Please, don't!" Xion cried. "It's my mother's."

He smirked at her. "Well, your mother never loved you, so this blanket is worthless." He tightly grabbed at it with both hand.

"NO!" Xion screamed at the top of her lungs.

She watched in horror as he pulled on the blanket. The delicate hand stitching tore away at the force. The ripping noise was amplified as it ripped in part. the stuffing inside snowed out. She felt truly alone now as he ripped her blanket in half. He threw down the two halves and cackled at Xion. Her trembling hands touched the blanket she cherished. She wanted to screamed, but she couldn't find her cowardly voice.

All she could so was run... and that's all she did.

The heavy rain soaked through her tank top and shorts and chilled her to the bone. Her short black hair clung her face as she ran. She heard the violently rushing of water up ahead.

Xion slowed down and stopped at the bridge. Up ahead she saw the café brightly lit up. She looked turned her head back and looked over the railing. Her heavy panting calmed down to a small breath. Xion's feet began to burn from the wet cold ground and her aching muscles shook from the cold. The cold numbed her. She absent-mindedly grabbed the railing and pulled herself up.

Xion carefully balanced herself on the thin railing. It was a few centimeters smaller than her feet. She looked at the rushing water with empty eyes.

Hey, Mom? If you didn't want me, then why did you birth me and let me suffer all these years? Was it because you wanted me to suffer for making you suffer for all those months? I'm sorry I'm not the child you wanted, Mom. For 18 years, I've been a big disappointment and now it's time to free this world of a burden.

She stood there, watching over the water. All she had to do was jump and it was all over.

Just jump.

Xion felt her body slowly float through the air. Heavy raindrops splattered against her skin. She felt free. It would soon be over. Xion closed her eyes and cleared her mind. But then she heard his voice.

"Hey, Xion."

"How are you, Xion?"

"You're really smart, Xion?"

"I want to be your friend, Xion?"

"Xion..."

And just for a moment, she found hope.

I don't want to die!