… Nice beach… Sweden thought. He pulled down the hem of his dress a little as he stared at the expanse of sand. "Poland …" He sighed. It was the Pole's idea to dress him in the stupid fluffy purple loli-witch doll's outfit in the fist place. It was a chibi spell gone wrong, horribly wrong that turned him into a chibi in the first place.

It had all happened earlier that morning. Sweden had been making some pink furniture for Poland, but apparently Norway had lost concentration during the casting of a spell (no doubt to some Desu Sparkles) resulting in turning him into a chibi. Not long after, Poland had come back from his meeting with his boss. Sweden was too busy pouting in his now oversized shirt to glare at Poland for his sharp bark of laughter. (Not so). Luckily for him, Poland serioused the eff up, thinking of the same reason that Norway was probably going to carry around Iceland for.

He opened his mouth to argue with him, but Poland gently scooped him up and cradled him close, parental instincts kicking in.

"Wh't are ya doing? P't m' down." Sweden berated his boyfriend, but his protests were to no avail. Poland took him to the room where Sweden's dolls were hidden away, and picked out the outfit, and (how embarrassing) dressed the Swede in it, complete with a hat, little lacy boots, and gloves.

"Oh, Sve… how'd ya get yourself into this mess?"

"L'ng story."

And what does Poland decide to do with him, than sit him in his lap. Not that he really minded it, though that's not the point. Once Sweden was sure Poland was asleep, he carefully crawled off his lap.

"I love ya." He softly whispered before scampering off to start his adventure.

And that brought him to where he was now. He now was now seeking out the Master Whale, of which he had heard to have lived in The Largest Cave of Tiananmen Square. Hmm… maybe I should have brought Poland… It won't be easy to swim, especially not like this, Sweden mused. How lucky he was, he was getting cold in his knee-length dress. The little socks and boots weren't helping very much either. At least the boots were decent in keeping out the cold water.

Sweden sighed. He began his long swim across the ocean. After a few hours, he got incredibly tired, and he was only a fourth way to China. Oh, joy.

He swam a little further and rested on a rock he found. Sweden sat on the rock and thought about Poland. He looked out off the mountain at the sunset. Memories of a previous date rushed back to him. He felt he was about to tear up, when suddenly, he started to think about ice-cream and caramel, totally ruining the nostalgic moment. "Mmmmm… spr'nkles… delicious spr'nkles and car'mel… Do want…" But then, he started to think of a certain Pole covered in sprinkles and caramel. He swore he could hear "Come get me, Sve…" on the wind.

"Mmmh… WAIT WHAT?" Sweden caught himself starting to drool. "Must st'p, st'p immediately…" The Swede fell asleep on the rock not soon after his train of thought.

Sweden woke up the next morning to a beautiful sunrise. He sat up and stretched out. "Nnh… Good m'rning, Po-" Sweden stopped dead. Oh. Sweden really regretted his decision to not bring Poland. Now, he was tired, cold, and hungry. Which really wasn't helping the fact that he was lonely without Poland. Sweden sat back down and began to cry. "I-I-I… I MISS YOU, POLAND!" Sweden sobbed.

Just then, a giant beaver zoomed up.

"Hello, Alexander." Sweden screamed like the little girly chibi he was.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"

"Because I am the Beaver of Wishes. I heard you sobbing while I was in my Semi-Large Cave of the Great Wall of China, and I felt bad. So, I wished to know your name, and to be able to locate you, and for super-speed."

"Ah… really?"

"Yes, dear Chibi-Alexander-chan. Now come to my cave. You can warm up with the fire, and then, when you're done, you can make your wishes."

Sweden was grateful for the warm fire, and the Beaver did not bother him until he was done, for he was busy knitting.

"Are you done?" the magical beaver asked.

"Yes."

"Ah, I do have some saddening news for you."

"What?"

"I wasted your three wishes on myself, so uh…"

"You… wh't?"

"AH! Uhm… Well, the only sensible solution is this."

The Beaver took the Swedish boy to the front of the cave and gingerly held him out with his claw. Before he had a chance to question, the Beaver smacked him with his tail, sending him rocketing upwards. Sweden went up a little bit above the peak of a mountain, before landing comfortably in the snow with his itty-bitty-witch-powers (He just realized that the gloves acted like a wand, but he did not harness much control over the gloves.)

Sweden burst into tears again at his loss, and also at the fact that he would now have to climb down to get to the Largest Cave of Tiananmen Square. "P-p-Poland …"

Sweden began his decent, his still-in-character part of him telling him that it was better to start sooner than later, besides, the sooner he got there, the sooner it was over.

Sweden's decent was slow and steady at first, but suddenly, he slipped on a patch of ice. "AASIADSGAHGAAHVGBIWRUGHSNCMZ!" Sweden fell down and down, when he suddenly fell right into the Largest Cave of Tiananmen Square!

He fell through the cave, passing lots of shelves that held various things. There were various pictures of all the nations throughout the years, even present days, the Slavics, the Baltics, the Asians, France, England, and all the once British Colonies, the Africans, the Nordics, the Mediterraneans, any "family" of nations you could think of were there. Also on the shelves were various objects originating from every nation (KOREA). Sweden reached out to grab the Sernik, but slipped and instead grabbed Finland's salmiakki.

"Eh… I was never much for this." Sweden grumbled, throwing it above him.

Eventually, Sweden landed in what seemed to be a lake. He floated above the water for a while, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he swam forwards for a while, not seeing anything strange. He stopped short, sensing that something was wrong. Awfully wrong…

"WHELL, HARRO TERE YOUNG WHITCHIE GIRL!" Came a strange accent. Very strange indeed, Sweden thought. One minute, it was Kiwi, then it was Chinese, then it was Cajun…

Sweden was wondering if this was a dream. He must have been eating chocolate…

Alexander whipped around to see a creepy whale with a seemingly photoshopped crown on his head. Oh jeez, maybe he had been taking acid before bed…

"I hunger…" started the Whale… "MAKE ME A SAMMICH!" "… Most definitely not. "Whell ten you no get curshe leefted off." Oh, great, now it sounded like the princess from America's movie Avatar…

"Why a samwi-"

"NAO."

"Fine, fine, alright!" Sweden swam towards the hole, where he noticed that there was now a rope hanging from it. "Oh, well then."

"HAM AND CHEESE, BIATCH!"

"OK, OK!" Oh, Poland, I can't wait to get home to you. I really wish you were here. I promise I'll try not to scare you, or act cold and indifferent for a whole week… Sweden mentally told Poland, imagining that it reached him.

Sweden climbed the rope and conveniently found a sandwich around America's stuff. He slid down to the waiting dolphin below, and fed him the sandwich, which he swallowed very quickly. As soon as the dolphin swallowed the sandwich, Sweden was back to normal.

Unfortunately, the witch gear grew with him. The whale sent him back up the hole, and onto the top of the mountain. This time, the mountain's snow was pink and fruity!

"Oh!" Sweden said delighted. Now he was feeling very VERY out of character. He began to giggle, being the 10-year-old girl hidden inside of him. The skies were soft pink, and the clouds were gentle shades of blue and yellow, and seemed like cotton candy. The sun looked very lemon-y, and on the other side of the sky the moon was a velvety white chocolate. The rocks were of pure sugar, and the branches were candy canes. Sweden was swept away by the rush of pink snow, and carried onto the clouds, which carried him back to the city of Copenhagen and to the street the so hated Denmark just happened to be on.

"Haha... Hi Sweden! Fancy seeing you here! You're looking particularly cryptic and frightening today. Do you want anything to drink, maybe the blood of a virgin? Bleach? Nesquik?"

Suddenly, from the apartments above, he heard a woman scream, "MY BABY" and Sweden stepped out from underneath the awning of the building just in time to see a small bundle of blankets fall from an eight story window. Denmark ran away yelling something about Pikachus. People around him screamed as he just stared until it hit the awning and bounced like one of those really fun bouncy balls you can get from machines in toy stores and stuff but that's kind of a cruel comparison considering it's a human being bouncing but whatever, the author doesn't really care.

The baby landed in Sweden's arms perfectly, crying loudly before catching sight of him and calming down considerably. They stared at each other, calculating, as the building's fourth wall collapsed and then Sweden just decided to kidnap the baby because it would be his future wife.

And this is how Sweden met Poland.

"PAPA," Sealand complained loudly to Sweden, "THAT'S A HORRIBLE BEDTIME STORY!"

Then Poland walked in and pointed a magnum at the irritating nation, who barely had time to yelp "POLANDCEPTION, THAT'S A KILL SHOT!" before he was shot in the forehead then burst into flames and was reborn as an ugly beaked creature from the ashes.

Poland turned back his hat and threw a Pokeball at the bird, effectively knocking it out. He put the newly born bird into the tight, air-sealed ball and put it on his belt, yelling, "I CAUGHT YOU, GENERIC BIRD POKEMON!" unnecessarily loudly and to no one in particular.

"My hero!" cooed Sweden, suddenly acquiring a Southern belle accent.

Then Poland swept Sweden up into his arms after the he put on his wedding gown, and the two proceeded to cross the threshold to the outside world. Or they tried to. Poland kept hitting Sweden's head on the doorframe and eventually they just decided to crab walk out like true men. This allowed the world a glorious view of Sweden's man parts until Poland set them all on fire with the help of his Fairly Odd Parents.

The two crab walked into the sunset, causing a major traffic jam in Stockholm until one truck driver got fed up and just rammed into the two of them.

Sweden is now a vegetable and Poland is trying to decide whether to pull the plug.

He does, and then captures the reborn Swede in another tiny ball on his belt.

And they all live relatively happily every after.

FIN.

Get it. That's a pun. Like Fin. Like Finland. Only like 'the end,' too. Hurr. Hurr hurr.

…

"According to the latest news reports, two men died from being crushed underneath the fourth wall of a nearby Starbucks, more on this story later after our report on the drunk, streaking blonde man from last night, screaming about tea parties and how America doesn't love him. In other news-Sweden. He's landing in your country, snatchin' your nations up, trynna rape 'em so y'all need to hide yo micro-nations, hide your waifu."

A/N: Ahm surry. Ders jus 2 much Polandception. Didn't eivn meen 4 that 2 happen. Ahm so distractible. Ahm havin trubbles. Suweiden is awsom. Oh wel.