A/N: I decided to continue the last chapter, but focussing on The Pairing. Sort of. Not really. Whatever, this is a crack fic. Nothing's supposed to make sense or follow rules.

Something shifted in the air, and fate made its decision.

"HIYAAAAAAA!" Germany reached forwards and pulled Sealand's hair. Hard. So hard it was nearly ripped off, and the only thing that saved it was the way he fell to the floor with it. The nations behind him took the scream as the signal to begin their attack, and with a mighty battle cry that would make even the dead grip their ears and cry out in agony, the slaughter begun.

Pencils armed in the hands of the fangirls became deadlier than any weapon in the hands of the most trained nation, which wasn't saying much since apart from eleven or twelve nations the rest were just fangirls. Nations that would take their weapons out then more or less froze, not knowing much of combat magic against fangirls with the power of fanart and fanfiction. They were easy pickings then.

England tried to get up, but he was soon trampled by a bunch of particularly rowdy fanboys who thought that cracking skulls would be very funny. Germany coldly gazed upon the dying orbs of the once great nations, the blood running from their wounds appeasing his heart greatly.

Every single fangirl and fanboy ran away when Prussia, driven to stop the bloodthirsty children by his obligations as an Awesome Person was sliced and diced by a salvo of thrown plates while in the midst of his impressive show of authority. They just didn't think it was worth it anymore and left.

"I mean, China, you just threw the plate that knocked Prussia's head off! And you're standing there laughing? Are you out of your mind?-"

"He was dirtbag anyway, England. Never shared his stuff, always told on me-"

"-I mean... CHINA! Mind your language!"

"-Oh Shut The Front Door, honestly."

England's's eyes teared up at the sheer horrendousness of everything.

What little remained of the fangirls followed suit, hiding and cowering in some nearby rooms, praying that the blood-bathing monsters did not find them.

No-one else was alive by that time, except for the fangirls, of course. And Seychelles, who had conveniently fallen under a table when she fainted, hid from sight by sheer luck.

Germany walked amongst his loyal soldiers, commending them for their fervour and praising each for the kills they made. The other people did everything short of worshipping their commander, clasping his bloody hands like drowning people clutch at straws.

He called everyone to attention by releasing a feral shriek of fury that made even the enchanted walls tremble. England's eardrums burst open, and not wanting to make him feel left out China popped his own open too.

"My dearest comrades in Blood and Pain! We have brought a measure of peace to my Russia with the blood of the innocent running down the stones of this house of sin. But he wants more..."

The assembled fangirls cried out in passion, willing to do anything to assuage the unrest brought to the poor Russian by this cruel, cruel world. They clawed on the wooden floor, bellowing and stomping with the force of their desire for carnage, waiting for the word that would set their bloodthirsty sights on their next victims.

"We must kill... The Creator..."

"Death to Himaruya!" "Long live Germany!" "Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!"

Cheers sounded out unanimously from everywhere.

England sat on the steps of the great hall, sobbing into his lap. He was no longer sure if it was a dream or not. Just what had happened to the world? Why had it become so... Stupid? If he didn't believe in a god before, he definitely did so now. And this God was a StupidHead.

"England, come on now. Lord Germany has decreed that we move to pwn Himaruya for 200 dollars. Just one more kill and I go beyond Godlike, can you believe it?"

"..."

The fangirls walked onwards to the place where the final showdown would happen, and strangely enough they found the Creator's office, never mind that they were fangirls and hadn't stepped into the author's messed up mind before and hadn't been guided around either.

"Destiny calls," Germany muttered. Which was probably how they all ended up in the right place. Destiny.

Germany turned back towards his loyal followers, children that would follow him to the ends of the earth if he so willed, and caught their attention automatically.

"We may not come out of this alive, my brethren. We may die on these very steps, fallen to the unholy hands of the Creator and his Russia-slaying minions!"

The crowd (of 20 or so) growled in fury, barely controlling their urge to prove how not killable they were.

"But if we can avenge Mein Russian Freund, it will not be for naught! So come! WE END THIS NOW!"

"YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The stone of the walls and the ceiling trembled in the wake of the army's steps.

England was all but catatonic by now. He couldn't focus on his own steps, and his eyes were swollen from crying so very, very much. He had only one last hope left, and he tried to go and convince him that what was happening was madness of the sheerest kind.

"China, how can you let this happen? Of all people, you should know what it's like to fight for the right reasons! You are the oldest of all of us, how can you follow someone so like him happily?" he was awfully on the verge of breaking down again. He grasped China's uniform and shook him.

"England, Age comes with Wisdom. I love my Wisdom. That's why I know that this is the right thing to do."

England nodded shakily, not knowing where this was going.

"The Introducer of Fandoms killed Russia. Germany loved Russia. That's why he knows they all deserve to die. So let him kill them, it's only fair," China suggested, calmly walking onwards behind Germany.

England broke. He stopped where he stood and collapsed on the floor, thinking it was better to die than live in a world where stupidity always triumphed over reason. Especially one where stupidity was reason.

Meanwhile, inside Himaruya's office...

The Creator of Hetalia could hear the fangirls outside his office quite clearly. But he was as calm and unperturbed as everyone knew him to be even at the worst of times. And it most definitely was one of the worst of times. He had lost nearly all of his trusted colleagues to a handful of 18 year-olds... Well, everyone except Sealand, because Sealand had a strange immunity from dying retarded deaths. Or else he would've died the day he was born.

"And you honestly believe that Germany has good reason to do this?"

"The death of a loved one is not a matter to be taken lightly, Sealand, except when it's someone evil whose loved one dies. Then it's ok. But I have a plan to stop this mess. Please go open the door."

Hetalia Hater had managed to fall onto the floor from his perch, and squawked out obscenities at the world and everyone in it, Himaruya especially. At hearing the Creator give the 'open' order, however, he gave up his futile battle against his lack of wings and vanished with a flash of 'Screw-this-I'm-outta-here' fire.

The door to Himaruya's study opened with a very meek and un-ominous creek, and the people behind Germany ceased to speak. This was the moment, after all. Their Lord would have to face the dangers inside alone.

Germany could see the object of his rage sitting in a massive throne-like chair, his silhouette looking very large, and very obviously evil.

"So you made it here, you foolish boy. You really believe that you can defeat me?"

Hovering unseen above, England and China silently watched the scene play out. England knew Germany wasn't someone to be easily intimidated. But now, he was just plain overconfident. For now, he had something even Himaruya didn't.

He had...

A dead Russian.

Booyah.

"You will pay for your insolences! AND the murder of Russia!" Germany said. He reached for his gun, covered with gore from The Introducer of Fandom's Stab wound, aimed it at the still shadowed Creator, and screamed the one word that ended Russia's life channelled with all the hatred his noble heart could muster.

"DIE!"

The bullet burst out of his gun and struck the Creator in the middle of his chest. But he did not die.

He burst into slow and malevolent laughter, mocking the very fabric of all that was good.

"You think a little curse like that will end me? Himaruya Hidekaz? Hidekaz Himaruya? Well, you thought wrong!"

Germany's Nemesis stepped into the light, his hair splayed into strange unruly spikes.

"My power levels are over 9000!"

England and China couldn't restrain from gasping. The power level of evil was just too legendary, and besides, Germany had used all his trumps once already. Pulling someone's hair and stabbing them with a gun can only get one's self so far, and now he had to try something else. Something like...

"Spirits of The Author's Mind, Heed my Call!" Germany cried to the sky, raising his gun in the air. An aura of shimmering energy seemed to surround his form, and his eyes shone with intense concentration.

Now was the moment of severe reckoning. Only someone with a pure heart could summon the energy of the plan in the way Germany was doing so. But deep down, in the recesses of his heart where Russia had burrowed and made his place, there was no doubt of it. No-one's intentions were as pure as Germany's were in that moment.

"Give me your energy so I can beat the bad guy!" He shouted through gritted teeth. A faint ghostly ball of blue light surrounded the tip of his gun, and the accumulating luminosity revealed Himaruya's snarling face.

Ghosts came through the walls of the room and revolved around the growing ball of immense spiritual energy, all given to Germany, the champion of all that was good and not unholy, by them and the other beings of the mystical mind of the author. And soon, the time for victory was upon him. He let go of the ball.

"Spirit Die Bomb!" Germany threw the sphere at the Bad Guy. To beat him. And Beat him he did. With a gut-wrenching and eyeball-squeezing explosion, and with a ghastly scream of agony thrown in for good measure, the evil known as Himaruya Hidekaz was no more.

No seriously..?

What actually happened was that as soon as the door to the Creator's office opened, Germany found a sink hurled unceremoniously at his head, where it balanced itself precariously and fed its bearer with its toxic fumes. Soon, unable to bear the weight of the porcelain basin, the avenger of Russian honour fell to the floor, and his skull cracked under the weight of the sink.

The sink shattered too and stone shards rocketed away, unfortunately, shaking China out of whatever fantasy he was immersed in. One about defeating Himaruya, no doubt.

The entire crowd of Germany's followers were appalled at the ease with which he had been vanquished. Everyone except for the haters of Russia and Germany, of course, who were overjoyed beyond words at the seeming reassurance that not all was wrong and that evil wasn't good and love did not justify murder, among many things.

Hey! Wait a second, I remember now! England, have you seen my panda?" China asked frantically, rifling through his bag.

"No, sorry China."

"Huh, I coulda sworn he was just here..."

Germany's final thoughts were of triumph, despite the fact that he was lying in a puddle of his own blood and was going to die. His life had already flashed before his eyes, he was seeing the light and feeling cold; in short, all death stereotypes had been accounted for. His Love was avenged, and he and Russia could finally rest in peace now.

He knew he would not be able to live any more; the explosion from the Spirit Die Bomb was too much even for him to handle.

His dying eyes were drawn to Russia standing a few steps away from him. The Russian smiled in the oh-so-familiar creepy way, and bent down to hold a gloved hand out to him.

"Hey buddy..." Germany rasped out and reached out his hand. Russia had found peace, and now was the time for him to do so as-

"What the FU-"

...

Germany promptly died from Bloodloss.

"Well, that was... Simple," England drawled out from where he leaned on the wall, right next to Himaruya. Both observed Germany die with not even the slightest amount of regret or shame. A little relief, actually, nothing more.

"Indeed, England." Himaruya gazed at the ruinous state of the hallway, more than a little saddened. At the death of a nation or at the breaking of the sink, England could not say.

"I believe this episode of slaughter has been brought to a close," he muttered with a tone of finality, and turned to write a letter to Wal-to-Wal Mart to order another sink.

Elsewhere in the maze of the author's Mind...

China stood, his Heart pounding, gazing at the sight of his panda impaled with one of the pieces of the sink straight through its furry chest. It gave out a mournful groan and its bamboo-worshipping soul left it, its poor eyes glazing over.

China's scream of murderous grief and anguish reverberated through the building.