Iceland was bored.

At New Zealand's insistence, he had gone to stay at his home for a few days. And while he was used to this, he found himself with nothing to do. He had already read most of the books in the library (well, the ones that were in a language he could understand, anyway).

He thought about sewing, but then remembered that New Zealand had taken his scissors and needles away. Honestly, he had tried to make a dress out of his curtains one time - !

And, of course, there was always jumping into active volcanoes, but there was a meeting the next day, and New Zealand said that he must not injure, or at most, kill himself, even if the meetings were as pointless as Valentines' Day. And since Australia had stepped out to do some shopping a few hours ago, he couldn't ask him to play him any music.

Really, if he didn't find something to do soon, he was going to go Belarus on somebody.

Just as he was beginning to consider searching the lake for giant squids or trying on New Zealand's clothes, the aforementioned nation came in the house. He was holding a small jar and a few rags.

"Sorry if I was gone too long, darling," he said. "I needed to get more shampoo. Sheep's wool gets dirty surprisingly fast, you know. Probably because I keep banging so hard on it."

"Right," he responded slowly. "Wait, New Zealand, why is your hair shaved on one side?"

Indeed, a full half of his boyfriend's grotesque, Pikachu-like hair was gone.

"Oh, this?" he asked, gesturing to his half-hair. "Well, it seems the sheep like this style better, and goodness knows that we have to keep them happy. You saw what they did to your brother last week."

"Yes, poor Norway," Iceland sighed. "Where did he even get all those mushrooms? Or the dragon, for that matter?"

There was an awkward silence for a few moments. Iceland then thought of something to relieve his boredom.

"New Zealand, would you tell me a story?" he asked eagerly. "I'm about to die of boredom!"

"A story?" he echoed. "I think you're already familiar with most stories, aren't you?"

"Yes, but tell me a special one. Something like I've never heard before," he requested.

New Zealand hummed and scratched his chin for a moment, thinking hard, He then snapped his fingers and retreated to his room. When he came out a few moments later, he was holding a rather worn looking book.

Taking a seat across from him, he opened the book to the first page.

"This," he informed Iceland "is a book I wrote myself. It's full of all sorts of stories. Granted, I was high when I wrote most of these, but I'm sure they'll be fine."

He cleared his throat and began to read. "Once upon a time, there was a mouse named Sylvester. And Sylvester was no ordinary mouse. He had the ability to breathe fire! But instead of thinking he was awesome, the other mice feared poor Sylvester. Most likely because he was a pyromaniac with a terrible temper. And one day, while observing the charred remains of his enemies, Sylvester made a decision.

'I'm going to be a pirate!' he cried.

And so Sylvester stowed away on a pirate ship called the Black Pearl. There he met the captain, whose name was Jack Sparrow. He and Jack became good buddies over time. They steered the ship together, drank together, played cards together, smoked weed together, went on panty raids together, you name it.

One day, Sylvester and Jack arrived at a magical land called Las Vegas. After a few days of gambling, Jack got into a bar fight and was arrested. Mainly because the police chief didn't like British people. And so Sylvester had to come up with a way to get Jack's bail money.

He walked down the street for awhile, when suddenly, he saw a strange orange door just standing there. Out of curiosity, he turned the knob and was then sucked into a strange land. There were flowers as tall as buildings, buildings as tall as flowers, and everything smelled like pomegranate. The land was populated by a vicious race of zombie-ninja-robots.

'We are the Zoninros!" they decreed. "We are here to spread pomegranate love and kill Zac Efron.'

'Nobody touches my Zefron!' Sylvester cried.

He then breathed fire on the Zoninros. He managed to wipe out a good number of them, but the ones that remained gave chase. Sylvester took refuge in a large purple tree and waited for them to go away.

'You look like you could use some help' a voice suddenly said.

Sylvester turned to see a tall man with a beard and a cowboy hat.

'Who are you?' he asked.

'My name is Chuck Norris,' the man replied. 'And I'm your fairy godmother. I'm here to help you defeat these Zefron haters and help Jack.'

'Awesome! What do I have to do?' Sylvester inquired.

'Take these,' Chuck replied, handing Sylvester a bunch of carrots. 'Everyone knows that Zoninros can't stand the smell of carrots. Also, for some reason, you have to get a sex change.'

And so they fought against the Zoninros and came out victorious. Sylvester, who was now Sylvestra, sold their corpses on the black market and used the money to get Jack out of jail. They then both got hammered and got married and lived happily ever after. The end."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, uh, that was certainly different," Iceland finally stammered.

"Did you like it?" New Zealand asked. "I got the idea for it while I was watching a mouse eat a scorpion whilst I smoked my pipe."

Iceland stared. "New Zealand...what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Many things, my dear, many things," he replied jovially.

"...I'm going to bed now," Iceland announced and walked to his bedroom door. "Oh, and by the way, the sheep only like that hair because one half of your face is supposedly handsome, which it isn't." He then disappeared into her room.

New Zealand only shrugged and started to polish his sheep wool.

Le time skip of a week or so….

It was a normal day in New Zealand. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, the sheep were planning their revolution, and New Zealand was stepping out of a hair salon.

He had just had his hair styled into a mohawk, and he was now on the way to the nearest gym. He was attempting to appear tougher to try and scare away the numerous fangirls that loved to torment him so.

As he walked along the side walk, whistling a jovial tune, he was suddenly grabbed and pulled into an alleyway.

Remembering what he learned in that military school his brother forced him to attend, he instantly Falcon Punched his attacker in the throat, sending the man sprawling to the ground in an unseemly fashion.

"Now look here sir," he said "just because the fandom says that I'm a gay pansy does not make it so! I assure you that I'm quite strong. My -ahem- girlfriend even spends an hour every night feeling my biceps!"

"That's far more than I needed to know, boy," his assailant groaned.

New Zealand gasped at the familiar voice. "It's you! Iceland's creepy stalker!"

Indeed, it was the friendly neighbourhood Norwegian nation. He glared at the younger man as he rose to his feet.

"Now, I'm sure that you're wondering why I pulled you into this dark and scary alleyway," he stated. "It's simply because I was curious as to where Iceland is. He somehow managed to deactivate all the tracking devices I planted on him."

New Zealand stared at him for a long moment before replying. "Um...shouldn't he be at my house? There are plenty of sheep to attend to, after all."

Norway slapped his head. "Oh, of course!" he said. "And here I was searching in bars and amusements parks."

"Tell you what, I'll give you a ride there," New Zealand offered. "To the Zealandcopter!"

He ran over to a conveniently placed helicopter a few feet away. He started to fly it, but it soon crashed into some poor person's house.

"Allah above! My home!"

"Mr. Sheen, I am so sorry!"

Norway sighed.

Another le time skip…

A few hours, and one huge lawsuit later, our heroes finally made it to New Zealand's house.

"Well, herding should be over with by now," New Zealand assumed. "Though Iceland usually stays late because he thinks that the sheep are planning a revolution."

"Yes, I wonder what for," Norway murmured sarcastically. New Zeland didn't hear that because he was distracted by the group of sheep across the street who appeared to be making a bomb of some sort.

After searching the pasture and his room, they couldn't find any sign of Iceland. They stopped to ponder where he could be.

"Maybe he went to my home," Norway guessed. "He's been trying to steal my Don Juan and sell it to some guy named Hammerstein for awhile now."

"Or, he may have just went home," New Zealand responded. "He does have a life outside of you, you know." Norway looked at him like he was insane and even took a few steps back.

Suddenly, they heard some loud noises coming from a room down the hallway.

"My Iceland senses are tingling!" they announced in unison.

They rushed to the door of the room and kicked it open with their apparent ninja skills. What they saw made them gasp in horror. Iceland was seated on a small couch, kissing another man! And not just any man!

"Hong Kong?" the other two men gasped.

Iceland and his new lover looked up in surprise(they didn't hear the door being kicked in for some reason).

"Oh, uh, hi guys," Iceland stammered. "Uh...this is awkward."

"Iceland, what are you doing?" New Zealand asked, understandably upset. "What are you doing with him? What, are me and Tall, Dark, and Creepy over here not good enough for you anymore?"

"Look, you two," Iceland sighed. "New Zealand, you're a great guy, but being with you is too dangerous. I get at least one death threat a day by some crazy sheep. And Norway, well, you're a deformed homicidal psychopath who wants me to call him 'big brother'."

Hong Kong had no idea what was happening, so he just started to think about pudding.

Iceland stood and ushered the two men out of the room.

"I hope you guys don't take this too hard," he said. "I'm sure you'll both find somebody else. Norway, you have tons of blow up dolls of me! And New Zealand, you're rich. Handsome and rich!"

He then shut the door (which had somehow repaired itself) and assumedly continued making out with Hong Kong. The two rejected men silently walked out into the street.

"Want to go get a drink?" Norway asked.

"Sure!" New Zealand agreed. "I'll take us there. To the HindenZealand!"

He then ran over to a large zeppelin with his face on it. Once again, he only flew it for a few moments before it crashed.

"Mr. Sheen, I am sorry!"

"I know you're rich, but how can you afford these things!?"

Norway sighed.

A/N: Well, there you go. You get three more unintentional pairings: Norway x New Zealand, Iceland x Hong Kong, and more Norway x Iceland. Now you don't have to request them, because they'll be right here! :D