chapter two:
encounters
"Could you stop that?" A voice asks, not annoyed but not amused either.
"Stop what?" A very anxious Lexa replies, who has been pacing for a handful of minutes now but does not seem to have any idea how to stop.
"That," Anya motions in front of where she is sitting graciously in the sofa, "you've been like that for like an hour now." Her voice is cool and resolved as always, and she's not even glancing at the restless girl in front of her. She sighs deeply and closes the hologram device in her lap, turning her full attention to Lexa before saying, "If you are to say something, say it now."
Lexa finally coming to a stop looks at her with dull eyes that Anya could not read, "I – I saw her."
"Yes," she nods, "you've been saying that an hour ago, Lexa. Tell me, what is bothering your mind?"
"I saw her," Lexa screams mostly to herself, "I saw her and I did nothing! I mean, I tried to. But she does not see me." Her voice decreasing after every word, like the hurt hit her just now. Clarke did not remember me. But where is the surprise in that? Clarke never had, not once had she remembered Lexa.
"Tell me who this woman is, again?" Right. Anya is not like her, she doesn't remember. She should've talked to someone who does instead, but she knows none.
"Clarke. I've told you about her. I've met her – a long time ago." She says it distantly.
Anya is a smart woman, and Lexa respects her highly – but she could not share her secret to anyone, not even to her. She feels like it is a burden she must carry alone. She's known Anya and all the different versions of Anya in the past as well. Maybe it's how fate works. She is born near the same people she's known in her first, sometimes even in the same family. She's been her older sister once, now she's a neighbor in the high apartment where Lexa lives in. Or the one she practically owns.
It came with the gift of memory, she decides. She has been a lawyer, a doctor, a politician – all in the lives she has ever lived. And with all the education and all the possessions she has ever acquired, she has practically lost interest in doing anything in her present one. Her possessions she has kept in a bank she built with another name. Her house that was once a humble home she now turned into a multi-leveled apartment.
But she isn't always born in the same country. When she wasn't, life would be hard. It is then that her memory would serve her well, and she would be exemplary in everything she do and have an instantaneous riches. Then she would fly back to her first home and there she would stay. Always in hopes that maybe Clarke would be born in the same place again. But she is always left hoping.
"Was I interrupting you in whatever you were doing?" Lexa asks, suddenly conscious of her surroundings. She has barged in into Anya's home without a word and she just realizes it now.
"Not particularly." Anya replies, giving her an assuring smile. "I do want to help you, but I cannot see what you are so bothered about. If you saw her today, then I am sure that you would meet her again tomorrow."
Lexa looks at her and nods at her every word like she's holding on to it with every last bit of her hope. Tomorrow.
"Okay." She replies with resignation.
"And why are you still here? Please don't tell me that you've forgotten the party we need to attend to." Anya grins and Lexa groans, she has almost forgotten.
She wrinkles her nose in annoyance, "Do I really have to be there?"
"It is your party, Lexa." Anya states like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Because it is. "Why in the world would you not be there?"
"Then we must go." She turns to her heels and almost got to the door before Anya got to her first.
"Not so fast."
"What is it?"
"You are not going to your party looking like that." She eyes her younger friend from head to toe in disgust.
"Like what? What is wrong with how I look?" Lexa retorts, feigning innocence. She is wearing what seems to be exuding anything but glamorous right now and she knows it. She sighs when Anya does not lose her disapproving glare. "Fine. Yes, I am going to change first."
"You did prepare for tonight, right?" Anya asks.
"I did. To try and be beautiful and perfect throughout the night just sounds so exhausting right now." It is more of a formal party than a real party and her mind is already too tired. Important guests and people are going to be there. And this is a very important event, not for her own gain.
She doesn't admit it to herself but everything that she has been doing these past years have all been for someone else. The art gallery that she has recently started is definitely not for her. She is anything but an artist. Clarke is. Or was. She hopes that she still is. And maybe this, the art gallery, the events, maybe they would bring her to Lexa. That has always been the plan. But she doesn't admit it. Because she doesn't want to hope, when all that hope has done is dishearten her every time.
She is doing this for her.
She hopes Clarke sees the flashing signs directing her towards Lexa.
She hopes.
"You need not try." She hears as she walks out of Anya's door and into her own.
The night is still young and Lexa is ready to face the people. It is still freezing outside, but once she steps down the car, it felt like an entirely different place. It is nerve-wracking and her palms are sweating and her eyes are as dead as the night. She must not look as how she feels – which is crap. She must not look like crap in her own party.
"Lexa." She hears a voice of a man call her name from the end of the hall. When she turns to look, there he was. As handsome as he's always been, dressed in classic tuxedo and bow.
She is grinning now and not as nervous as she was seconds ago. "Lincoln," she calls back, pleased to see her colleague, who is both an artist and a very good friend.
"I was afraid that you won't come to your own party." He laughs as he gives her a tight hug, knowing how nervous Lexa must be.
"Yeah, I almost didn't." She breathes in his shoulder with a smile.
He releases his grip and offers his arms for Lexa to hold onto. "But you did. And that's all that matters. Now, shall we?" With a nod from Lexa, he smiles and led them together to the room full of people waiting for the host to appear. All eyes are on them the moment the spotlight finds them. There are applause and cheers and greeting from left and right. She knows she couldn't take all these without Lincoln by her side. Lexa greets every single one of them with a very courteous smile, shaking hands and creating small talks with the important people whom she memorized the faces nights before. "You are doing great, Lexa. If you need me, I will just be around. I think I have seen someone who just caught my eye." She hears Lincoln whisper in her ears before slipping away from her arms. She does not mind at all. She is looking for someone else tonight, after all.
The party is at its peak when Lexa saw someone that caught her attention. But for a whole different reason. She was sure this time. It was Finn. His long hair slickly combed back, and his eyes watching her as she watches him. Their stares are judging and hard, and it was Finn who moves first. Lexa is just planted in her place, standing her ground. His eyes never leaving hers as he moved towards her. It wasn't like how a predator would stalk its prey, but rather, another predator joining in the hunt. She knows him, but what could he possibly want from her? As he inches closer, his glare turns soft and his lips forms a smile almost genuine.
"I'm sorry for staring too much. I hope you don't take it the wrong way." He smiles.
Lexa studies him for a few seconds, unamused at his antics, "Then may I ask why you were staring my way so hardly?" She questions him, still sounding calm and uncaring of his presence.
He smiles at her for a few seconds, "I'm sorry. I just felt like I know you from somewhere." It almost made Lexa's heart stop. He knows. But that's not possible. "You are the host of this party, right?" He supplies, noticing the reaction he got from her.
Lexa almost laughs at herself. Of course he does not know, he cannot know. "I guess I am. Tell me, are you an artist as well?"
"No, not really." He moves beside Lexa as they survey the crowd together. "Just an appreciator of the art, just like you."
Lexa can't help but stiffen at his words, like there are more behind them. "I don't think we've ever met before."
"I think we had. Or am I that not remarkable?" He says, his smile never leaving his face and is starting to infuriate Lexa. "Finn Collins," he says, extending his hand for Lexa to shake. Lexa looks at it cautiously before meeting his eyes and shaking his hands.
"Pleased to meet you," her eyes searching for any hints in his, "Lexa."
She doesn't notice Finn's hands still holding hers for a moment before he pulls it closer to his lips, kissing her knuckles lightly. He utters a word that sent shivers to Lexa's body. But she can't be sure if she heard it right, because the room is roaring in applause and the music is particularly loud and a crowd is parting from the doors as two new guests arrived. She sees Finn walking straight to the crowd before she realizes who just arrived.
President Kane and his wife. And behind them, a handful of what looks like aspiring artists, just as he promised Lexa that he would bring with him. And then she sees her. Blonde hair braided at the side. She is wearing a white gown that shimmers in the light. Then she sees Finn confidently walking towards them.
And she remembers the word he murmured before his lips touched her skin.
She is sure of it.
A word she has never heard for so long.
A name she was once called.
Heda.
A/N: Shall I continue this? Please let me hear your thoughts. If you notice some are being out of characters based on the show, I apologize. But I do think that in this au, things have changed and so have they. Or maybe that's just my excuse. Hah! Again, sorry and thank you.