Hey! Thanks for the reviews! I hope I get more from you guys!

MAY: Your Uncle Ben. You know, the most important figure in your life.

PETER: Oh! Yeah! That guy! Responsibility and stuff... Yeah, he was great. Now let's talk about my parents!

May glares in annoyance.

MAY: Hey, there's that girl who is going to di-I mean, there's your girlfriend! Why don't you leave me to sulk in peace while you two cute dialogue/possible sexual innuendo the audience death!

Peter proceeds to do just that.

PETER: Hey, don't you think it's strange how you don't seem to feel any guilt about the fact that you're totally middle-fingering your father's memory?

GWEN: Pfft! Why should I? It's not like I cared about him or anything...

PETER: Yeah... I'm starting to notice that these movie's have a problem with parent/child relationships. I'm not even sure if I feel guilty about inadvertently causing that-guy-whose-name-I-forget's death.

GWEN: Guilt's for losers!

PETER: I think you mean it's for non-sociopath's.

GWEN: Whatever! Marc Webb's totes cool with the young people and knows what they want! And that's protagonists who don't care about anything!

PETER: I was totally just telling that to someone earlier!

Gwen pulls out her phone showing a picture of crack addict Aleksi Sketchovitch's failed plutonium robbery.

GWEN: Was it THIS someone?

PETER: Whoa! That's an awesome life threatening picture that person took! How'd they get the camera off his corpse and post it so fast after the truck hit and killed him?!

GWEN: Were you there or not?

PETER: Uh, yeah. I'm like Spider-Man. Be honest, did you forget that?

GWEN: No!

PETER: And where's Flash?

GWEN: I'm pretty sure his show doesn't start until October on The CW.

PETER: No! Not the show with the actor that people wish were playing Spider-Man instead of me! I'm talking about Flash Thompson!

GWEN: Who?

PETER: That guy who was my bully but then became friends with me for no discernible reason and because Marc Webb doesn't understand what nerd empowerment means!

GWEN: Oh. Yeah. We're just pretending like that guy doesn't exist now because this is basically a soft-serve reboot. So, just play along.

PETER: O-kay.

GWEN: Now, don't forget to come by so we can have sex- I mean... So I can read you my speech.

PETER: Totally.

Peter's spider-sense goes off and Peter sees Ghost/Hallucination?Captain Stacy again!

PETER: Wait a minute. Why is my spider-sense going off? Is it predicting danger for Gwen and you're a side-effect? Are you hallucination? Or are you a real ghost warning me and THATS what's setting off my spider-sense?

GHOST/HALLUCINATION?CAPTAIN STACY: It's best not to think about it. No one involved in the making of this movie did. Just know that no matter what, Marc Webb doesn't understand how spider-sense works.

EXT. EVIL OSCORP'S EVIL ROOFTOP OF EVIL-FLASHBACK.

Captain George Stacy lays, dying.

ALIVE!CAPTAIN STACY: So, you're really not gonna use that lizard serum you took out the Denali thing to heal me and save my life?

PETER: Nah.

ALIVE!CAPTAIN STACY: Then, Peter, promise me you won't bang my daughter because I totally know how dumb she really is and she'll totally risk her life for no reason whatsoever because she's that pigheaded.

PETER: I promise.

Peter's snickers as he holds his fingers crossed his behind back.

EXT. GRADUATION-PRESENT DAY.

GHOST/HALLUCINATION?CAPTAIN STACY: Oh, yeah, I forgot to say something: You're a total douchebag.

PETER: You don't have to tell me twice.

EXT. RESTAURANT-LATER THAT DAY... AT NIGHT.

Peter and Gwen talk outside.

PETER: I've gotta break-up with you because the movie needs unnecessary melodrama- I mean, because I couldn't live with myself if you got killed for no reason like your Dad did!

GWEN: But then we wouldn't be together! (Actual line) Who does that help?

Peter stares at Gwen, stupefied, before snapping out of it.

PETER: What are you, crazy? It help's us both! I don't have to live with the guilt of being a complete douchebag because I broke a promise to a dying man to get into your pants, and I can avoid any future guilt I'll have if you run idiotically face first into danger! And you won't die! See? Everybody wins!

GWEN: But it's not Daddy's choice! It's MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

Gwen stomps her foot like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum.

PETER: WOW. I was also gonna say that you won't have to feel guilty for hooking up with whom it was your father's dying wish for you not to hook up with. But clearly that's not an issue.

GWEN (Actual line): You have done this to me again and again. Yo-

PETER (cutting her off): WHOA! Hold the phone right there! I've done this before this movie?! How many times have I hallucinated your Dad? And why have I not had myself locked up because I'm dangerously insane?!

GWEN (Actual line): I break up with you, Peter. I break up with you.

Peter stares at Gwen, stupefied, again, before again snapping out of it.

PETER: No, Gwen. I break up with you. That's what this whole thing was about. Were you not paying attention? Did Emma Stone seriously think that Gwen breaking up with someone that's already in the process of breaking up with her would somehow make her seem like anything other than bratty? And why are you talking like He-Man?

PLEASE review! I would like it very much!