And here is the end! The narrator says he's glad to be almost rid of you, but I told him to shut up. Then he went on a rant about not having friends and that if he shut up, which he would love to do, he wouldn't be able to tell them this story and warn them yadda yadda…

Edited 5/19/15: To fix the abrupt ending of chapter 7 and beginning chapter 8 that occurred because I was brain dead from studying for tests I have edited the chapters. I have moved a scene from the beginning of chapter 7 to chapter 6, and combined chapter 8 with chapter 7, deleting the redundant chapter 8. I have also edited my author notes in the three chapters. No scenes have been deleted (some minor edits have been done though). Sorry for my mistake and any inconvenience it has caused!

Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic or any of the other characters in this except Jimmy and Billie. But the narrator would like to interject that if you want to babysit an insane hedgehog you can for free-for life even. I told the narrator to back off and now he's spending his time glaring at me. I better go before I, too, go insane…

Though everyone had nodded their assent, Sonic wanted to make sure he had everyone's attention. He looked at each of them in turn. Amy sat to Sonic's left then Tails, Rouge, Shadow's empty chair, Omega stood, Knuckles, Vector sat at the end, then to Vector's left, Espio, Charmy, Silver, then Blaze, Cream, and Cheese's empty chairs, were to Sonic's right. Sonic first looked at Amy.

Amy was still sobbing over Cream's death. Cheese was never seen again.

Tails' eyes were a little red as well as his nose. He was the only one that held Sonic's gaze now. It was clear that he would miss Cream and the house. Though his face was red, his expression was not of one grieving, but of confusion and fear. Tails was trying to figure out what happened to Sonic, but couldn't. He continued to stare in shock, unable to comprehend. Despite this, Tails, that lucky dog, err fox, was probably the least unscathed by the previous day.

Rouge stared at the table with her hands in her lap. Though she did not cry over Cream, she was still upset. Furious at Shadow, Rouge blamed him for what had happened simply because she couldn't face all the blame herself. She avoided everyone's eyes.

At first Omega didn't blame himself for anything. Then he threw up the milkshakes and ash that he had eaten on Sonic. Then he was sorry. He was sorry for a whole lot more than that.

Knuckles looked scared out of his wits. So much at this was his fault… for a brief moment anger coursed through Sonic, but it passed and was replaced with warmth. Strange. Best not to look at him again, who knows what could happen then…

Vector's throat was sore and his nose was covered in snot. Occasionally he would burst into sobs and sneezing. His sobs were annoying and his flying snot was not appreciated. Vector would try to wipe his nose to get rid of the globbing bogers, but his arms couldn't reach. When Vector continued to sneeze on Espio, Espio grabbed two tissues and shoved them up Vector's nose. There were no more problems after that.

Espio was restless. Ever since the fire he remembered all that had happened. How he was annoying, how he fought a friend for… really no reason, screamed like a girl in public several times, and worst of all… how he- he honest to goodness wanted and believed that he was kidnapped by rainbow pooping flying blue llamas... Trying not to remember, Espio looked this way, then that way. He shifted in his chair every five seconds. He shoved tissues up people's noses. Espio rested his head in his hands one second, and the next second he was slouching. He fingered his cracked horn wishing desperately that he could just disappear.

Espio was so ashamed that he forgot he could.

Charmy, like Espio, mysteriously reappeared after the fire died away. Charmy stood on his chair watching everyone else. The frown on his face and the absence of the light of mischief in his eyes showed that he somewhat comprehend all the things that he had done and their consequences. But he would never truly know.

Silver was sad. But not because of what happened. It was because Blaze had broken up with him, saying "GO TO H*LL!"

Reassured, Sonic began a… heartwarming speech from his heart. "Some of you may have forgotten, but… today is Thanksgiving." Sonic clapped his hands together and smiled. "Do you know what that means, boys and girls? It means that families across the United States are sitting down at a table with their family. Parents take the day off and older siblings come home from college to take their place at the table. It is not uncommon that other relatives, who meet the rest of the family only a few times in the year come together to celebrate the day. Sometimes friends are there, too. In a house. …Or apartment, mansion, etc. The family dog lies down next to his master. There are smiling faces everywhere. Food of every kind imaginable is laid on the table. Gravy, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, apple pie, turkey, yams, dumplings, cranberry sauce, corn, peas and carrots, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, deviled eggs, turkey, sweet potato pie, apples, chestnuts, squash, stuffing, corn on the cob, pecan pie, cornbread, bread rolls, pears, mincemeat pie. Turkey." Everyone's mouth was watering. Sonic paused then continued. "Then afterwards the men of the family sit on the couch with popcorn to watch Thanksgiving football. The women laugh happily as they wash and put away the dishes. What a happy scene. But first, before they eat their glorious feast, they pray and give thanks for all the blessings they have received. I must have missed on those blessings because here we are gathered around a table in a one bedroom hotel room with a bunch of Chinese food as our Thanksgiving feast."

Everyone looked at the table and the untouched food before them. Amy sobbed.

Sonic nodded. He frowned as though puzzled and continued. "This is a very harsh reality that some, if not all, can comprehend. Even I can't quite understand it. Never in my life could I have dreamed that this would happen. Not in my wildest of wildest dreams. I have lost so much in just one night. First and foremost, I lost my house, my home. I'm never going to sleep in my bed again, I'm never going to spend another night listening to music, I'm never going to eat at the table with Tails, I'm never going to play dodge ball in the house again, I'm never going to watch a thunderstorm or first snowfall of the season from my window again, I'm never going to be able to bug Tails in his lab again, I'm never going to see if I can break my record of 0.0000000000000001 of a second running down the stairs, I'm never going to scream or throw things out the window again, I'm never going to sit on the porch swing with Tails lying on my shoulder watching the sun rise or set, I'm never going to make faces in the bathroom mirror again, I'm never going to play a sport with Tails in the backyard, I'm never going to sit on my couch to watch TV, I'm never going to squish out all of the toothpaste in my sink again, I'm never… never going to come home with Tails after an adventure and say 'Home sweet home.' Never again…" Sonic sniffed trying not to cry. Tails was crying again. Sonic shook his head sadly and began again.

"But in the end, a house is a house. And I have lost so much more than that. I have lost my friends. I don't who they are anymore. No friends do what you have done to me. No person does that kind of thing. Not even Vikings or barbarians. I have lost my sanity. You have your sanity. One of you is in the hospital and another one of you is going to see a therapist for the rest of her life. Another one of us is dead… Cream, oh, Cream… you were the youngest, the most innocent of us… the only one other than me to have done nothing wrong… your entire life was ahead of you… what am I going to tell your mother…she's all alone right now… Oh, Cream…why you… why you… these cruel murderers…"

Amy sobbed.

Vector sniffed. Then he broke into chest heaving sobs. He threw himself on the table, Chinese noodles going everywhere. He continued to sob. Then Vector sniffed, the tissues in his nose disappearing. Vector choked. His eyes watered. Everyone watched in shock as Vector continued to make choking sounds as he slipped off the table and crashed into his chair. He lay on the ground out of sight. Slowly, one by one, everyone turned their gaze to Sonic. Sonic looked stunned but he composed himself and cleared his throat.

Sonic spoke, "I believe it was Amy who decided to leave Cream in charge while Tails, Amy, and I went to the hospital. Yes! That was where we were in case you wondered, but I doubt you did. No! Instead you get more people to join in on the fun! That way, there'll be so many people there that Sonic can't possibly figure out who left all the food on the floor, or who broke the TV and every piece of furniture in the house, or who set the house on fire. Just a joke, right? Did you think you could get away with it? Did you think it was fun? It's all fun and games until the house burns down, someone dies, and Sonic loses his sanity, right? Right? Well, congratulations, people you did it. You did the impossible. In fact I bet we all landed in the Gneisses Book of World Records for me hosting the world's worst party ever! Since the beginning of time! Oh man, what fun! In fact as I recall it," Sonic gasped, "it wasn't even a party to begin with! No! It's wasn't! People just came into my house uninvited when I watching the TV, broke down my door, and waltzed right in! I mean, who wouldn't right?

"Normal people wouldn't! People that mattered wouldn't! When I saw Knuckles I should have just said 'Bloody h*ll!' and kicked him out! Then maybe none of this would have happened! You guys are worms that crawl on the ground with no arms or legs only a big $$ mouth with a black tongue and beady eyes that eats everything that comes in its path alive with viscous, sadist glee! You acted like ANIMALS!"

Silence. After a long pause of Sonic just staring at everyone breathing heavily, Charmy raised his hand tentatively, "Uh… Sonic? We are animals."

Sonic gripped the back of his chair with his hands. "SHUT THE H*LL UP!" Charmy promptly shut up and wet his vest.

Much to everyone's surprise there was a knock on the door. Two male voices and the voice of a thing could be heard.

"Hello? This is Billie from Nintendo. I was told that you had a problem with SEGA offering voluntary retirement to its employees? I brought Mario…"

"Let's a-go buy the rights to annoying blue snot!"

"Quiet, don't say our plan aloud! Hello…?"

"I just don't know, Billie. I say we should just get the heck out of here."

"Nonsense, Jimmy. Everything's just peachy. We just wait until they answer."

"Didn't you see Johnny the Pizza Delivery Guy dead by those red lasers? What a waste of good pizza. If the pizza delivery guy was burned to a crisp then why wouldn't they do the same to us?"

"Jimmy."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"Where is Sonic? I want to give him a piece of my mind for joining Super Smash Bros. He's not my bro! And he cheats on all the Olympic marathons!"

Ignoring Mario, a voice said, "Hello…? Please answer…" The man sighed.

"…Did you see the news last night? They said that Sonic the Hedgehog's house got burned down."

"Yeah, I saw that. It made international news." The man laughed. "They said he was having a party."

"A party? For what reason? SEGA's dead and so should he be!"

"Yeah what morons-"

Livid, Sonic snapped his fingers. No one insulted him, SEGA, or the stupid party-not-party. There were no screams or cries for spaghetti as the chains saws did their work. Blood pooled through the crack under the door. Everyone gasped.

Amy sobbed.

Sonic exhaled then smiled. "I remember this morning. I woke up to my alarm clock doing that, you know that annoying beep, beep, beep that makes you want to unplug it and throw it out the window? Well, that's what I did. Most people don't take that chance to do that. It was so fun. I remember walking down the stairs whistling off key to "Zip-be-do-dah" as I descended the stairs, so happy and looking forward to the upcoming day. Never know what to expect, eh? I wanted to have some breakfast with Tails, but no, I find a sandwich with no cheese and a note in the cupboard saying 'Screw you!' I just wanted to sit down and have some fun watching some football. To relax, content, knowing that I was safe from all danger. That I could dream without worry or fear of my friends, the people I trusted the most. If you told me what had happened yesterday to me before, I would have laughed. I would have laughed so hard that I would have cried and peed myself. I would have said, 'My friends are the dearest people in the world to me. They would never, never, never do such things to me.' But this is Thanksgiving Day. We should not waste our time thinking about all the rotten, rotting, dead things that have happened to me. We should be thankful. Right, Silver?"

Silver snapped his head to look at Sonic. "What…?"

"We should be thankful, right?"

Silver screamed and slid down in his chair. He grabbed the side of the table. With only his eyes visible above the table, Silver looked at Sonic. "I didn't do any… I'm sorry. So sorry. …Sorry."

Sonic walked over to Silver, smiling warmly. He wanted to put his hand on Silver's shoulder but Silver moved away. A flash of pure rage crossed Sonic's face, but then it cleared away. "We should be thankful."

"Yes. Yes. Yes, thankful for everything. Don't eat me!"

"Relax, Silver. I won't eat you. I strongly encourage you to go through time and fix this. If you don't, I'll make you sorrier than your girlfriend did." Silver screamed. Sonic walked over to the head of the table. "We should all be thankful. So let's start with Amy." Amy was still sobbing. Sonic put his hand on her shoulder. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear. We'll skip you. Tails?"

Tails snapped his head over at Sonic, a wild look in his eyes. "What?"

"Please, guys. Try as I might, I can't stand you anymore. Don't make me repeat myself."

"Uh… uh, r-r-r-right. I'm, uh… t-t-thankful I'm not dead."

Sonic nodded. "Rouge?"

"Uh… same as Tails."

"Omega?"

"NOT DEAD."

"Knuckles?"

"Not dead."

"Vector?"

Vector climbed off the ground and said, "I'm glad that Cream is dead so that I can marry her momma and live happily ever after!"

Sonic took a knife from behind his back and stuck it hilt up into the table. "Vector, hon. That's not appropriate answer. Try again."

Vector sweated, scared for his life. "I'm glad I'm not dead."

Sonic nodded. "Espio?"

"Not dead."

"Charmy?

"Not d-"

"Die. Silver?"

"Not dead."

Sonic smiled then he giggled. "This sounds like an attendance roll at school. Who's dead and whose not. Silver? Are you there? 'Not dead.'" Sonic giggled again.

Everyone stared at each other, wondering if they were going to die because Sonic clearly had got insane. For the first time in their lives, everyone was truly thankful for to be alive and in full control of their mental capabilities.

Some, of course, had more control over their minds than others.

In an unknown location, but probably far, far away from where Sonic and his friends live, Eggman sat on his couch in front of the TV. He wore a grimy gray T-shirt that barely fit over his gut. His red shorts were disgustingly short with a strip of white down the sides. Eggman was watching Thanksgiving football while shoving as much popcorn in his mouth as he could. He threw the remote at Cubot.

"Ow!"

Eggman yelled, "Go get me some food!"

"Okay, boss." Cubot turned to the kitchen.

"Pick it up!" Eggman roared.

Cubot sighed, picked it up, and gave it to Eggman. Then he walked (floated, rolled…) over to the kitchen. There Orbot was waiting for him.

Orbot sighed. "His Roundness really is quite grumpy today, isn't he?"

Cubot replied, "Oh, definitely! Every time he wants more food he throws the remote at me! Then he yells at me to pick it up! Little varmint…"

"It's kind of sad really. Every Thanksgiving is like this. He doesn't have any friends so he throws a hissy fit and eats as much as he can." Orbot and Cubot looked over at Eggman. The TV was too loud, the lights were off, and the number of stains on his shirt really was horrifying. "He doesn't have much to be thankful for really…"

Cubot frowned. "Yeah…" Then he scratched his head.

"Hurry up and get my food!"

"Yes sir!" Cubot and Orbot scrambled into the kitchen. Metal Sonic, who was wearing an apron decorated with pink flowers flipping pancakes at the stove, smirked.

A couple of minutes passed as Eggman watched the TV. The sound of a knock on the door resounded through the room. Eggman didn't feel like answering the door so he turned up the volume of the TV. The knocking persisted. Eggman turned up the volume so loud and yelled behind him, "If you want to come in so badly, let yourself in!"

Eggman turned down the volume and ate his popcorn. It wasn't very long before Tails Doll blocked the TV screen. Eggman yelped. He turned around in the couch and saw Ixis Naugus in his face.

"Yo. You watching football?"

Eggman screamed.

I stood up and yada, yada, yada. "Hello again. Like I promised this is the end. And as we reach the end there are questions that simply must be asked. Like… what is the moral of this story? Is it… don't stab your friends? Don't watch football? Don't be born? It is interesting to wonder if Sonic lived like a hermit in the desert on top of a 40 foot pole, would this have happened? It is a question that no one can answer. I'm sure you have other questions, but… there is simply no time left. I know you have been changed forever never to be the same. I'm so sorry. But look at me. I have to face the electric chair. I murdered my brother. No one alive is sane. And so, if there is one thing you should learn from this, remember that this can happen. And it will happen. Sorry for the chilling ending, but I love those…

Sonic's Thanksgiving Crazy

Thus ends the warning that madness in life will strike when and through whom you least expect. I echo the narrator's sentiment that this piece is not a comedy, but more angst and drama and I hope you feel the same way. :)

For those who don't know who Tails Doll and Ixis Naugus are-Tails Doll comes from an old Sonic racing game, Sonic R. Fandom says that he will possess your soul. Ixis Naugus comes from a Sonic TV show nicknamed SatAM and is in the Archie Comics. He is a villain who uses magic. Basically, Eggman has it a lot worse than Sonic because he has no friends and must survive all of the villains inviting themselves to the Egg Carrier. Also, the mention of Sega giving voluntary retirement to 300 of its workers is a nod to a real life event. If you want to know more about it, just google it, since I don't know too many details.

WHAOH and Chris, I watched some of SMG4's videos. I enjoyed them and will watch some more in the future when I'm not buried under schoolwork.

A Note to All Readers: Thank you, dear readers, for sticking with this absurd and ridiculous story until it's end. The high point of my day was looking up to see how many views and visitors I had when I posted new chapters. An author is nothing without readers. I know you must hear this a lot, but it would mean a lot to me to leave a review and let me know what you think of the story-what was the funniest part, who is the most to blame, what you didn't like, who acted the most retarded, etc.

In the Future: Currently I'm writing and in the middle of posting a Rurouni Kenshin and Cardcaptor Sakura crossover. If you're a fan of these series check it out and leave a review! Since I'm writing this now it is of much better writing quality, but I encourage not to take my word for this and read it. Thanks!

Thank you again for reading this! Sonic and his fans will live on no matter what!