There was screaming. I didn't think a person could ever scream so loud. The sound was so loud it hurt my ears and I wanted to reach up to cover them. But my body wouldn't cooperate. I couldn't move any part of my body. All I could see was darkness swimming around me. Occasionally a burst of gold would break through the darkness, but it was gone as quickly as it came. When the screaming stopped blue eyes broke through the darkness but they blinked and were gone too. I wanted to reach for the gold and blue. The screaming was then replaced by rocking in the darkness. The rocking made me feel like I was sailing on the rough seas near Dol Amroth. It always made my stomach queasy enough to want to throw up.
I clutched on tightly to the solid object that wasn't rocking. I wanted the object to make it stop. But it didn't stop and my stomach finally recoiled in protest. There was the flashes of gold again. Always gold and sometimes blue that broke through the darkness. When the shadows threatened to consume me and I would cry out, the gold would be there chasing it away. Whatever this gold was I found it to be soothing. I wanted to cling to the gold but it was always gone before I could.
And then there was the fire. It wasn't bright so there was no chasing away the darkness. It just burnt. It burnt so badly I thought there would be nothing left of my body when it was finished. But it never finished, it always just kept consuming my body in the never ending darkness.
Voices. There were voices in the darkness. I could never make out what they were saying, but the fact they were there soothed me. The fire lapped and receded. Cool hands soothed away the fire that seemed to burn in my body for so long. But there was always darkness. I wanted to rid myself of the darkness and find the gold again. But when the voices started the gold was gone. No longer were those blue eyes that broke through the shadows. It was just voices. Then the voices stopped. There was just silence. The silence scared me more than the shadows did. I didn't want the silence, I would prefer to never ending fire to come back. But the silence stretched on. This time I really did think I was dead and this silence was my body making it's way to the Halls of Mandos.
I jolted awake.
It was dark. I had to fight the panic rising in my chest and forced myself to breath. I blinked rapidly in the darkness and let my mind focus on what was really going on. I was in a soft bed covered by multiple warm blankets. The pillow behind me was as soft as the bed. Outside through the large doorway that led to a balcony I could see the moon bright in the sky. A cool breeze lifted the curtains slightly before they settled again. My wrist ached terribly and my leg felt as it was on fire. My throat was scratchy and I felt terribly thirsty and hungry. A healing cut pulled slightly on my cheek reminding my body it was another ache to contend with.
I was alive.
My room was beautiful. The moon gave it an ethereal glow and I could make out the intricate carvings throughout it. It was sparsely decorated but a few paintings hung on the wall that I couldn't make out in the darkness. Next to me a person stirred slightly in their sleep. The person was slumped in a chair fast asleep.
Not a person. An Elf.
I gulped as it hit me. I was in Rivendell. I had been rescued.
I stared into the darkness at the Elf in the chair. His face was vaguely familiar. Long dark hair pulled away from his face, high cheekbones and delicate slanted eyebrows. It took me a few good moments to place the familiarity. It was one of the sons of Elrond whom I had met last time I came to Rivendell. What was he doing asleep in the chair beside my bed? Then the thought hit me. Boromir was dead and he was here to tell me the news when I woke. A sob left my mouth before I could stop it. I clamped my hand over my mouth quickly. Before I knew it tears were running down my face.
The sob was enough to jolt the Elf awake. He quickly jerked up with a guilty look on his face. He took one look at my crying face and quickly reached over the grab my hand.
"Lady Devera, are you in pain?" he asked softly. "Can I get you anything?"
I simply shook my head and kept crying. I just couldn't stop the tears flowing from my eyes, nor the sobs that followed them. The poor Elf looked completely lost. He ran his hand through his hair in obvious frustration.
"I'll go fetch father and Lord Boromir," he finally said after a moment while still watching me cry with a puzzled look spread over his handsome face.
"Boromir's alive?" I finally managed to stifle my sobs to get the words out. Hope bloomed in my mind and I clung to it quickly.
"Of course he is," the Elf frowned and then suddenly realisation dawned on his face. "Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to frighten you. Lord Boromir just needed some rest. He had barely slept since you were brought here. He is only in the next room."
Gracefully the Elf climbed to his feet and left the room leaving me to stop the flow of tears. I had only just managed to get my sobbing under control when the door slammed open. I jumped at the sound. Before I could register anything I was in Boromir's arms clinging to him tightly. My tears started to subside as I buried my face into his chest. Boromir was alive and safe. We both were.
"You're awake," Boromir's voice sounded rough as he rocked me gently. "And your safe, you're in Rivendell."
"Axis?" my stomach suddenly dropped in fear of the news that was about to come. I couldn't even bring myself to look Boromir in the eye.
"He's safe too," Boromir said gently. "Held together with stitches but your cursed horse is too stubborn for his own good. It took some of the Elves 3 days to get him back to the stable but he will heal."
I sagged in relief. Axis had protected me, even with a Warg trying to eat him he did everything he could to keep himself between the Warg and me. Someone clearing their throat in the doorway pulled me away from Boromir's chest. The Elf who had been asleep by my side had returned with another Elf. By the similar faces on them I would guess it was Lord Elrond.
"Its good to see you awake Lady Devera," Elrond strode across the room with a liquid grace. His soon followed him in with a candle and quickly set about lighting the room. Boromir moved away from me, allowing Elrond to sit where he had just been.
"How long have I been unconscious for?" I asked.
"A week," Elrond supplied for me as he gently lifted my broken wrist. "It is September the 29th, you arrived with a scouting party who heard your screams and saved you from the Orc."
The date meant little to me. Travelling on the road it was all too easy to lose track of the time. I flinched as Elrond tried to move my wrist. Pain flared up my arm and I gasped. He continued on speaking as he gently set my arm down and moved onto my broken leg.
"You were carried to Imladris on horseback, an infection had quickly set into your leg," Elrond barely touched my leg and I jumped in pain. I fought back tears that sprung to my eyes.
"You are lucky to be alive, and so is your horse," Elrond replaced the blanket that had been over my leg. "There will be no permanent damage to your arm, but your leg was broken in several places. You will walk with a limp for the rest of your life."
Those words were like a slap in the face. I hadn't expected things to be so grim with my injuries. The only thing I thought that might have killed me was the Orc slitting my throat after he was done. I hadn't expected my leg to be so bad. But then again I don't know what other damage the Orc did after he kicked it.
"There are some bruises and small cuts but they will heal in time," Elrond continued with a small smile. "Is there anything I can get you?"
"Food," I said straight away. "And a drink. Please."
Boromir grinned at me in obvious amusement. I had no idea what time it was but my body was demanding food. As if to back my statement up my stomach growled loudly. I simply smiled sweetly which caused both the Elves to chuckle.
"Elladan will bring you something back from the kitchens," Elrond glanced at his son who seemed to be more than happy to disappear from my presence.
"I will leave you two in peace," Elrond disappeared just as quickly as his son did. As soon as the door clicked shut Boromir was back by my side. He opened his arms and I sunk gratefully into them.
"What happened after Axis and I galloped off?" I asked as I snuggled into his chest. His travelling clothes were long gone, replaced with richer well made garments. He'd had a bath and a shave very recently. I could still smell the exotic herbs and spices that clung to him from the soap he'd used. I inhaled deeply and buried myself further into his chest. His warmth was comforting.
Boromir sighed heavily and tightly hugged me. He was silent for a good long while before he spoke.
"The Orcs tried to follow you, I managed to cut down 2 of them but I quickly lost the rest," Boromir frowned. "It was barely an hour before a patrol of Elves found me. They had been tracking that band of Orcs sniffing around their border for a few days. They assured me you would be found."
"And I was," I said lightly trying to reassure Boromir. And myself if I was being honest. If it wasn't for the throbbing pain in my body, I was sure I was dead.
"Lying half dead with 2 bones sticking out of your leg," Boromir's voice shook with emotion. "Lord Elrond didn't think you would make it through the first night you were brought back."
"But I did," I said, with a small sigh. I knew all too well Boromir was blaming himself for what happened to me. "I'm here and I'm alive," I said firmer than I really thought I was capable of. "That's all that matters."
Boromir said nothing but tilted my head up to look at him. He traced the cut on my fence gently before reaching down to kiss me softly. I reached up to cling onto him greedily as I tried to deepen the kiss. Boromir broke it off reluctantly.
"You're in no condition for me to let my desire get the best of me," Boromir chuckled and he stroked my uninjured cheek. I sighed and lent into his caress. He was right, I could barely sit up at the moment. If Boromir hadn't been supporting me I would have already sunk down onto my pillow. As if he sense my discomfort he quickly arranged the pillows so I could be propped up without assistance. My hand went to clutch for my engagement ring at my neck but I was met with empty air.
"Boromir my things," I began weakly. I would never forgive myself if I lost such a precious heirloom.
"Are in the drawer beside your bed." Boromir took my hand. "Well, the things that could be saved, I'm afraid your bow was broken and your arrows were ruined."
I swallowed hard at that memory. The Orc kicking it across the ground from my hand and then standing on me. I could almost feel him looming over me.
"Don't," Boromir scolded me gently, sending the memory away as quickly as it came on. "Don't dwell on those memories Devera they will do you no good."
"They were your arrows." I said weakly to cover up the rising panic I was feeling.
"Then I'm glad you put them to good use," Boromir said softly. He sighed again and lent his forehead against mine. "Very good use."
Elladan appeared with a tray of food complete with a steaming mug of tea and pitcher of water. He set down on my lap gently. Not before he flicked a curious gaze at how close Boromir was sitting next to me. He left without saying a word. I frowned at his retreated back but decided to broach the subject another time. The smell of chicken soup and freshly baked bread filled my nostrils. My stomach growled in anticipation. I was tearing off chunks of bread and dunking them in the soup, not bothering with a spoon. Before long I was finished the bread and had to resort to using a spoon. Although it was just broth it tasted like the most amazing food to ever pass my lips. It wasn't long before I was finished and pushed the bowl away with a content sigh. Boromir filled a mug of water for me which I drank down greedily before picking up my tea. I took one sip and nearly spat the entire thing out. It tasted vile.
"What is that?" I said pointing to the tea.
Boromir took the mug and sniffed it. Wrinkling his nose he handed it back to me.
"Painkillers and something to make you sleep. It seems to be the same horrible brew they force down your throat at the Houses of Healing."
I went to put it aside but Boromir stopped me.
"You will need it trust me," he said as he pushed it up towards my lips. "Think of the pain you are in now and it will be nothing compared to what you feel in a couple of hours without it."
Pulling a face I forced myself to swallow the horrible brew down. I nearly retched it up a few times but it managed to stay down. It didn't take long before my eyelids were drooping and I was trying to hide a yawn.
"Sleep." Boromir took the tray off me and kissed me gently on the forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."
I didn't have the energy to reply. My eyes slid shut and I was dragged back into a deep and dreamless sleep.
I woke up the next morning with a terrible itch under my nose. Without thinking I raised my injured arm to scratch it. Pain flared up my air making me jump in surprise. In turn it made my broken leg move. I lay there gritting my teeth from the pain for a good few moments. Taking in a few deep breaths I slowly tried to push myself up into a sitting position. Every movement I took was agony. After 5 minutes I gave up and lay back down breathing heavily.
"Did you require some assistance?" a voice came from the doorway.
I craned my neck to look over and saw a smiling Elladan leaning against the doorway. He almost looked amused but kept a polite facade over the top of it. It was a change from the Elf who had barely spoken to me last night.
"Thank you Elladan," I said sincerely, feeling mildly embarrassed about my lack of ability to do something so simple. "I feel quite silly that I can't get up."
"Elrohir," the Elf corrected me as he strode to my bed. "Though a common mistake, I am the better looking one of the twin."
"Oh." I'd completely forgotten about that small fact. "Right, identical twins."
"Here." Elrohir helped me sit up without aggravating my body too much.
I winced at the new pains springing up from my body as I settled against the pillows. There were so many I hadn't noticed the night before. My ribs felt bruised and it hurt to breath deeply. I had headache at the base of my skull which was a dull throb. All over my body various bruises and cuts made themselves know. My hair was itchy and it fell in strands around my face. I was glad there was no mirror for I'd hate to see the mess I looked like.
"Are you in much pain?" Elrohir asked as he sat on the bed next to me.
Up close he was incredibly handsome. My previous memory of him did no justice to the divine creature sitting so close to me right now. I could feel a blush creeping up my neck at how uncomfortable I suddenly felt. I wasn't vain by any stretch of the imagination but right now I would kill to be clean, not in a very flimsy nightdress and have my hair brushed.
"I hurt in places I never thought could hurt." I covered up my embarrassment in what I hoped to be a smooth voice. "And my stomach tells me I have missed breakfast."
"And lunch," Elrohir smiled politely. "For it is a few hours past midday."
"I never thought I could sleep so much," I frowned. I could not remember the last time I had ever slept so late. Whatever that vile potion was last night had done wonders for making me sleep.
"It is just your body needing to heal." Cool fingers reached up to my face and tipped it slightly to the left. He gave out a hiss of sympathy as he saw the cut on my cheek.
"If it only it would heal without leaving me in copious amounts of pain." I couldn't help but keep the grumble out of my voice. Elrohir smiled slightly and let his hand drop.
"My father always said pain was the body's way of telling you to let it heal," he said with a barely noticeable roll of his eyes. "Though I will admit if I am injured I'm always the one lying in bed chaffing to get out again. So I do know all too well how you are feeling."
"Have you seen my horse Axis?" I changed the subject abruptly. The only thing I wanted to do right now was to get our of bed and see my beloved horse. Lying in bed for the next few weeks was not sounding appealing at all.
"Yes, I saw him this morning." Elrohir grimaced as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. "He limped to the front of his stall nickering as if he wanted some attention. Then he latched onto me before I could react."
I couldn't help but flinch as he revealed a rather nasty looking bite on his forearm. Axis certainly did latch on. I could almost clearly see every tooth imprint in his arm with a large purple bruise surrounding it.
"Then he must be feeling better." I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. I wasn't being terribly successful as I could feel a smile tugging on the corner of my lips. It made my face hurt, but it felt good to smile.
"Indeed he must," Elrohir smiled at me. "I will go fetch you some lunch and Lord Boromir should be finished his meeting with Father soon. No doubt he will be with you straight afterwards."
"Thank you," I said. He'd been very kind to me. "I enjoyed the company, your twin seemed rather untalkative last night."
Elrohir outright grinned at my words.
"I believe that would be my fault," Elrohir admitted, the grin spreading even further on his face. "I'm sorry to say Lady Devera but sitting up all night watching you can be rather boring, no matter how lovely you are to look at."
My face must have turned the same colour as a tomato. Surely he was jesting. I must be a terrible sight to look at in the state I'm in. Embarrassed I reached up nervously and twirled a strand of hair around my finger. I raised an eyebrow at him in hopes to cover my embarrassment.
"My brother and I were on the archery practice range and we decided the loser would sit with you for the night, I beat him quite thoroughly and he was rather angry about it. If you'd like I can beat him quite thoroughly with a sword too for his rudeness."
I made a very unlady like snort of amusement. It seems like Elladan and Elrohir were very much like Faramir and Boromir. It was something they would do a well.
"No, that is quite all right, I can only imagine the boredom I would have put you and your brother though." I could barely get the words out without laughing. Though a thought hit me that was so sobering. Why did I need to be watched when I only had a broken leg? Elrohir was watching my face carefully and he answered the question before I could voice it.
"Father thought you may have had some injury to your head as well after such a heavy fall," Elrohir said, his voice kind and gentle as he broke the news to me. "And after Father was sure the infection in your leg wasn't going to cause you to die, you didn't wake. We feared the worst."
Another piece of the puzzle of everything. I held back a sigh and managed what I hoped to be a charming smile.
"I am really hungry."
Elrohir chuckled at my not too subtle hint and with a small bow, he left the room. No sooner than he had left the room the door opened again and a stormy looking Boromir stormed in. I simply raised an eyebrow at his foul mood. He only scowled back at me. He stayed like that for a moment before sighing heavily with a defeated look on his face.
"You look ready to storm the gates of Mordor yourself Lord Boromir," I said carefully picking a neutral tone. His mood could swing either way at the moment. If I tried to calm him or defend him against whatever was causing his black mood he could well turn on me.
"Lord Elrond wants me to stay on for a council," Boromir said through gritted teeth.
I said nothing. Boromir would rant until he ran out of things to rant about.
"I had planned to travel back to Gondor as soon as you were well enough to be left here without fear of your life." Boromir began to pace up and down the room. "But Lord Elrond will not give me a straight answer about this cursed dream. He keeps telling me a council will be held as soon as certain people reach Rivendell and I will have to wait for that."
"Wait, you're going to leave me?" It was the only words I really absorbed in his rant. I frowned heavily at him, feeling my own temper rise.
"War is coming Devera, I don't want you anywhere near the south when it does." Boromir's tone was an instant dismissal of my concern. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"I believe I'll be needed when War comes Boromir," I ignored his tone, though I knew I was about to wade into dangerous territory judging by Boromir's mood. "I am the Steward's personal messenger. Who do you think spends half their life riding from one city to another delivering these messages."
"You will stay in Rivendell far away from any type of fighting and I won't hear another word about it!" Boromir snapped causing me to flinch. I had seen Boromir's temper many times, but never aimed at me.
I stubbornly held that glare, not daring to back down from the argument I just started. I opened my mouth about to retort before a knock on the door interrupted us both. An Elf maiden breezed in with a tray of food, ignoring the tension in the room. She handed the tray to me, then walked out of the room without a word. I glared daggers at Boromir before turning the attention to my food.
"I will do as I please Boromir, there is nothing you can do to stop me." I shoved a piece of bread in my mouth.
"Devera." Boromir's tone was warning. He seemed to lost for words as he just stared at me with his jaw set. I ignored him while shovelling food in my mouth. I barely tasted it, I was too angry to think straight.
I had been galloping around the country for far too long to have it all suddenly come to a grinding halt and be trapped here in Rivendell. Especially if it was to be for an undetermined amount of time. At least if I had gone to Rohan I would have known someone there. Here in Rivendell I was completely isolated and knew nobody. Silence stretched between us and the only sound that could be heard was me chewing on my food. It went completely unnoticed to me that someone had put a lot of thought into my meal. Everything was in small chunks so I wouldn't have to cut anything.
"Does your own life mean so little to you?" Boromir finally spoke, his tone had softened considerably at the question.
"Of course it does," I snapped back instantly. "However I have been living it how I please for the last 25 years. Just because you decided it would be a good idea to marry me doesn't mean you now have the right to control my every move."
I pushed my tray away, now too angry to eat.
"I didn't mean it that way Devera," Boromir sighed heavily. He made a move to cross the room to sit beside me but my crossed arms over my chest made him stall.
"Then perhaps you can explain it better Boromir." I said icily, not in the mood for his bad temper.
Boromir set his jaw and looked ready to snarl something back that wasn't going to be pleasant. How he managed to hold his temper with me glaring at him I will never know. We stood there glaring at each other for a good few moments. It was Boromir who first spoke.
"I can't explain it better," he said with a surprisingly level tone. "For the life of me Devera I can't explain anything that is happening anymore. I am very used to being in control and now I'm not. I do not like this feeling."
I felt myself soften towards him slightly and fought the urge to sigh. Boromir, the ever strong headed Captain of the Guard. You are so used to giving out commands and being in charge. In Minas Tirith he would only be receiving orders from his Father. Boromir had this habit of thinking it was better to seek forgiveness rather than permission when it came to his Father. Therefor he did as he wanted and got his own way. All the time. This would be new and dangerous territory for him. It must have taken every ounce of self control he possessed to not lose his temper in a spectacular way.
"Then perhaps you need to learn to let go of your control sometimes Boromir," I said cautiously watching his face. He remained in stony silence before sighing and turning to leave. As his hand touched the door handle he spoke quietly.
"I'm going to go beat my frustrations out on someone in sword practice, I will see you later. Finish your lunch you are far too skinny."
I sat glowering at the door for a long time after he left. My lunch had gone cold by the time I turned back to it. It took every ounce of my own self control not to throw it at the door.
Authors Note
I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! Please let me know what you think of it.