Chapter 11

She needed to work, but her head was pounding. Since she'd gotten back from the hospital, there hadn't been a moment when her head didn't hurt. She had taken all the medications the doctors had prescribed to her, but they only made her drowsy and did nothing to curb the pain.

But her boss had only so much patience for an employee who insisted on working from home. Dok Mi needed to finish reading this book by tonight, her boss had said. She had been less than 40 pages from being done, but she had forgotten everything she had read before that. She had tried to edit the last chapters without the rest but she found it made no sense and resigned herself to the fact that she'd have to pull an all-nighter to finish

As long as she emailed all her edits by 9 am the next morning, she could sleep as long as she wanted for the rest of the day. The book was interesting, at least. It was an adventure book about a man who wanted to climb the highest mountain in America, but he met many challenges along the way. It had its issues, but she had her previous edits and all Dok Mi really had to do was get to the place she'd left of before her accident.

It was almost 3 am before she even felt tired. She looked at her progress and realized she was nearly to the point where she'd left off. A few more hours and she'd be able to go to sleep. She stretched her arms over her head and glanced at her book shelves. Looking at the titles, she'd probably bought most of them in the years she couldn't remember.

She only had two more books on her editing list for next month. If this amnesia thing was going to be long term she might as well reread some of them. She hated going out, so a whole apartment full of books she had no memory of reading was pretty much a dream come true. Maybe this won't be so bad after all, she thought as she went back to her work.

The next thing she knew, it was dawn. She looked over at her clock. It read 8:30. She had only a half an hour to finish this book and she still had nearly 100 pages left. There was no way she was going to finish on time. How could she be so stupid as to fall asleep! She had often slept at her desk before and was accustomed to the pains and aches it left, but she needed to be fully focused if she had any hope of even faking a few edits on the last chapter. She loathed doing it, but she had no choice but to skim the rest.

There were several other editors who looked at her work and made changes of their own. There were no real consequences to slacking off just this once, but she had so few things that gave her joy. She had always prided herself on her writing ability. If it didn't show, even this once, did she even deserve this job?

She shook the bad thought out of her head and went back to reading. She couldn't even remember of this book was fiction or not. It didn't matter anymore. She made a few superficial edits here and there. She made no real suggestions other than "consider revising" or "awkward sounding". Somehow, she was done at 8:55, but she was exhausted again despite her nap.

She emailed the edits then went to lie down. She was breathing hard and her vison was growing dark. Oh no, she thought. She had worked herself into a frenzy. She knew the feeling of a stress induced panic attack all too well. She's learned the hard way that she couldn't stay alone during a panic attack. She probably wouldn't be able to do anything for at least a few hours, and if she pushed herself to hard, she'd end up making things worse.

The most obvious option was to go to Jin Rak's and have him help her. She didn't want to inconvenience him, but she saw no other choice. She walked out of her apartment using the walls for support. This was the most severe attack she'd had in a while.

She knocked and knocked, but no one ever came to the door. The one time she actually needed his help was the one time he wasn't there. Could she walk to the hospital from here? Dok Mi doubted it, but she saw no other option. She could seriously hurt herself by staying alone.

She made her way to the elevator, focusing only on keeping herself upright. She somehow managed to get to the lobby of her building and out the door. But which way to go? With every step she took she got more turned around and every breath brought less oxygen into her lungs. She was panicking even more. Her vision was growing so black that she couldn't even read the street signs. She couldn't have found her way back to her apartment even if she'd wanted to.

Was she dying? She had never felt so disoriented, and she had suffered more than her fair share of panic attacks. Maybe the head injury was amplifying it?

She had forgotten all of her medications, she remembered with a jolt. She had antibiotics, and anti-anxiety pills. She was missing nothing by not taking the morphine, but missing the others could be dangerous.

How could you be so reckless? She thought. God, I could actually be dying. She felt like lying down and never getting up, the snow below her looked so inviting; maybe she would just sit for a moment. The whole world turned around as the ground rushed up to meet her. She was looking straight up and the sun was blinding her, but she had no energy to move her head away.

Shut your eyes, Dok Mi, a voice said, just let everything go.

She obeyed the voice for a moment before a totally different one snapped her out of the momentary calm.

"Ahjumma!" it said. But who was speaking? She couldn't see anyone, but she felt less cold. She knew that she was no longer lying in the snow. Someone had to have picked her up, but who? The street had been totally deserted when she'd come out.

"Say something," the voice pleaded. A few moments ago, she had been content to give up, but something about the voice made her want to keep going.

"Can you…" she began. Get my medications, she was going to say. But she could not form the words. Instead she shut her eyes again and let the stranger carry her off.

A.N. I know I was gone for a few days, but I'm back now and you can expect pretty much daily updates Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them. The next chapter was one of my favorites to write, so I look forward to post it