Aftermath of Crossover

"We've got ships from here to New Bajor out looking for you. Where have you been?" Sisko's voice was that of a disapproving parent and the kindness in his tone was what truly grounded Kira and Bashir in the knowledge that they had returned.

"Through the looking glass, commander. It's good to be back."

Kira saw the doctor give a small pleased smile. Julian was covered from head to toe with soot and ore processing deluge and he reeked of metallic elements and sweat. It brought back many memories for the Major.

"Landing on platform C. We've been in- I'm not sure if you're going to believe this, commander- but we've been in a parallel universe. You'll want to call down a medical team to make sure we didn't bring back anything unexpected with us."

"They'll be on their way."

The Major glanced over at Julian, curious as to why he had not issued the precautionary measure himself. The doctor had his eyes closed, slouched in his seat.

"Julian." She shook his shoulder and he became awake and alert immediately. Kira relaxed when she saw him respond.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I just thought you might like to be awake when the medical team comes to examine us." She thought it was best to pretend that she was merely being impatient.

The doctor sighed and stood. Kira got up beside him with practiced grace in the flowing gown. The frills looked strange on her; she was hardly one to tote around her beauty and it just seemed wrong somehow, though Julian could not put his finger on the reason why. The Major was a keen observer and she had done him the favor of ignoring his own sorry state so far. As Julian rose up, he hissed. His body felt like one mass of strained muscle and every joint ached and throbbed. At least he was finally away from the Terrans with the dead eyes and the overseer… The doctor stopped himself from continuing on with those thoughts.

Kira pressed the button that opened the runabout hatchway and they both exited the craft and entered the chilly airlock. Julian followed her slowly while his adrenaline wore off and his muscles froze up again. Kira took her time walking through the airlock and to the entrance onto the docking ring, pausing frequently to let the officer catch up.

Shortly after they opened the airlock door, they were met by the medical team. They were given various antibiotics and Kira watched as Julian greeted the Starfleet and Bajoran team with warmth. They spoke over top of each other about possible viruses and diseases that they would have to vaccinate them for. Both of them were escorted to the infirmary with the usual amount of medical fuss.

Julian was jumpy. The changeling had not managed to break his spirit, but he had succeeded in giving him a dose of momentary fear whenever he was touched. No slaps rained down on him, nor whip strikes. He controlled his fear with an inner monologue of assurances and he shoved the memories back into an inaccessible corner of his brain.

They were taken into care. The Major was soon released and allowed a debriefing and she would begin working on her written report shortly. Julian was not so lucky and he had to be more thoroughly decontaminated and treated for abrasions and a torn muscle in his leg. He also had numerous contusions and a couple of minor sprains. After receiving a fresh uniform and some medicine he felt like a new man. His right hip throbbed from time to time, but given the chance it would knit back naturally and walking with a temporary minor limp was a small price to pay.

He left the infirmary off duty for the next 27 hours and he had been encouraged to catch up on his sleep before starting his reports. He went up to Sisko's office to complete his debriefing while the events were still fresh in his mind. He recalled everything with the emotional indifference suitable for a Starfleet officer giving a report. Sisko had ushered him in and sat while he listened, uttering only a simple, "You may begin your report."

Julian calmly explained their transference to the alternate universe through the wormhole and their arrival at the Alliance station. He described their separation, his work in ore processing, and his recapture after the first escape with the other Terran workers and Miles. He described Odo's death by his hands.

Julian left nothing out. He discerned that his commander was feeling a combination of sympathy and compassion and those observations shamed him. The doctor had survived and escaped relatively unscathed. Others had not been so lucky. He had directly murdered someone and therefore he should be dishonorably discharged from Starfleet. His mind told him that it had been self-defense and that Starfleet would not discipline him for doing his duty, but he remained prepared for the worst.

He relived the Intendant's death sentence. He recalled his own brash defiance and how Sisko and Kira stepped in and the Terrans had made their break for freedom. Julian's story ended succinctly and unimpassioned as though he had told Sisko that he had scones for breakfast. He advised his own dismissal from Starfleet for killing the changeling and then turned to leave.

The doors snapped shut.

Julian slowly faced his commanding officer with dread written all over his features that he could not school back anymore. Sisko was standing and his finger hovered over the controls on his desk. He eventually picked up the baseball from its stand.

"Not many could have endured those conditions and lived to tell the tale, doctor."

Bashir stared, heart in his throat at the thought of the information that Sisko could have uncovered about him in his absence. He had hid his genetic status so well and if that came to light too…

"For that alone I must commend you on your fortitude. You've behaved admirably."

Julian opened his mouth to refute the statement but the commander held up a hand.

"I'm going to be blunt with you, doctor. You will have to kill again sometime in your career and I'm certain that you know the statistics of the likelihood of that happening."

Julian swallowed.

"You'll never become used to the idea. The choice was a difficult one, but you made it to defend yourself and O'Brien like a loyal Starfleet officer. This event will be taken down in your record, but it will not change anything from Starfleet's perspective about your career."

The doctor wanted to say so many things about how Sisko and Starfleet were wrong and how he would never completely forgive himself for this…could not. None of the thoughts he could voice seemed respectful enough or non-combative. He would need to deal with this on his own.

"I- thank you, sir."

Bashir stared at him expectantly, waiting to be dismissed. He knew that Sisko might shout at him to get a genuine response of some kind. He was a firm believer of getting festering emotions out into the open, but Sisko must have seen the tiredness in his eyes. The commander nodded at him in dismissal. Julian acknowledged it and spun on his heel with a tight military turn. He left the office feeling lighter somehow. He saw Dax glance up from her console as he descended the stairs.

"Someone looks better."

Julian gave a hum. "I'll tell you all about it if you would care for a drink in Quark's."

The Trill looked apologetic. "I'm sorry Julian, but I still have the rest of my shift left. How about this evening?"

"I'm afraid it will have to be tomorrow evening. My shift starts early."

"I'll see you then." She flashed him a dazzling smile and the doctor nodded at her.

Bashir entered the lift and said calmly, "promenade."

The lift descended and he felt a mild twinge of claustrophobia in the small enclosed space. The lifts had been off limits to the Terran workers and any time he had been on one heralded his descent into ore processing or the chilling presence of the Intendant and her henchmen. He gave a minute shudder.

When he was let out, he all but sprinted to Quark's where there was light and music and sound. He thought what better method to recover from his ordeal than to attempt to enjoy himself again. He ordered a synthale from Quark and then took a seat by the bar. It was busy this afternoon. Julian sat quietly nursing his drink and wishing that he had invited the Chief to join him. He felt more solitary than ever even while surrounded by drinking and talking customers. Quark had briefly tried to engage him in a conversation but once he had been repeatedly rebuffed he left Julian to himself.

As if fate had intervened, he saw a familiar figure approaching the bar. He was wearing a rich red tunic that gave his scales and ridges a ghostly pallor. Julian slouched over his cup, making his body seem as small as possible.

Why did he always have to catch him at his worst? In front of Jadzia or Miles he didn't mind so much, but Garak repeatedly found him in this…unflattering position.

"Doctor, I almost didn't see you there."

Inwardly grimacing, Julian set down his glass of synthale and plastered on a fake smile.

"Garak, I'm afraid I was just leaving. It's been a long day."

The tailor stepped towards him, smiling. "Oh, but I've had rather a long day too. You will never believe the Bolian that came in this morning- and that Betazoid's wedding dress!" The Cardassian clucked his tongue as though he had undergone a trying ordeal. "Would you grant me a few minutes of your company? I might be able to lift your spirits with the news of the young beautiful Ensign that arrived this afternoon. She was a charming creature, though I'm afraid that Lieutenant Dax might compete…My dear doctor, is there something the matter?"

The Cardassian squinted at him in the low lighting of the bar. The scales on his neck rippled as he cocked his head to the side with puzzlement.

"I'm…It's complicated and I just had my debriefing. If you don't mind, Garak, I think I need-"

Julian cut himself off as he saw another person enter the bar. Constable Odo strode over to Quark, muttering furiously about stolen Dilithium crystals. Julian froze, watching the heated exchange. Odo's voice was quiet and threatening to the point where the doctor momentarily feared for Quark's safety. This was not the other Odo, he reminded himself. He had made certain that Odo never harmed anyone again. Swallowing, Julian made to walk out of the bar and he found Garak almost plastered to his side.

"I think you might have the right idea about seeking some peace and quiet. Would you care for tea at the Celestial Café? The Bajoran who runs it is a special customer of mine and I'm afraid that her own business has not been booming of late."

They had reached the promenade and the human was uneasy with the Cardassian's determination to keep him company while he was in this state. He sighed.

Garak's expression held sympathy and he suddenly extended his arm. He made to place his hand on Julian's bicep in what was meant to be a placating gesture. Reflexes still fresh from the mistreatment at the ore processing plant, the doctor flinched away.

The Cardassian let his arm drop to his side. "Doctor, I haven't been entirely truthful with you. I am aware of your trip into the alternate universe, indeed, the entire station is abuzz with it."

"What?!"

His voice was louder than he intended.

"First, let's find a seat somewhere more private. The Café has ample seating and I think you might need to rest that injury of yours."

Garak had noticed his limp. The doctor's leg was stiffening up again and his hip throbbed. Sitting down sounded pleasant and despite his initial discomfort, the Cardassian's presence had a way of soothing him.

The tailor let him lead the way to the Celestial Plaza. There were benches dotted here and there and Bashir sank onto one of the dark blue cushions. It was then that he remembered that he needed to place an order for his beverage at the counter, but he was too tired to move. He watched Garak choose from the limited menu and bring back two cups of Celestial tea. The tea would taste bitter after the synthale he consumed, but he was grateful for the free drink after fasting for so long.

"Thank you."

The Cardassian smiled and seated himself.

"So, the whole station knows now?"

He could not honestly say that he was surprised. News traveled fast and station logs were easily accessible given the right security clearance codes.

"Yes, but I'm sure that many of the details have been fabricated. There is talk that you were put in a labor camp while Major Kira was forced into servitude by her alternate self."

Bashir shrugged. "That was more or less what happened but Kira wasn't made into a servant. She was meant to be…courted."

"Interesting. Tell me, was I present?"

"Yes, you were a military officer in charge of interrogation."

Bashir saw his friend wince.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-"

Garak halted his apology. "It's quite all right. It's rumored that you had to take some drastic measures to ensure your safe return. I'm glad that you chose to do so."

His friend was glad that he had killed someone? He had probably winced earlier from the thought that his mirror universe counterpart still had ties to Cardassia that he lacked.

"I shouldn't have pulled the trigger…"

"Your regret of your actions is misplaced, doctor. I heard that you saved countless others from certain death. That changeling made the wrong alliances and he was a danger to the Alpha Quadrant."

"It was still murder."

His voice had risen again and he was startled when Garak placed his hand over his wrist in an effort to bring him back to himself.

"It was defense of you and your comrade. You were loyal to him, which is not cowardly or cold-blooded or any of those possible recriminations running around in your head. You did your duty."

Julian did not immediately respond. He was still taken aback by the Cardassian's defense of his actions that appealed to his morals. The doctor had learned long ago that Cardassians did not regard death in the same manner of humans, Ferengi, or Vulcans. When death came, it was always an expected part of serving the state and killing was justified by the same set of rules. The tailor was using his knowledge of human culture and his own familiarity with Bashir's line of thinking to comfort him.

Julian swallowed. "Thank you, Garak."

"I'm glad that my insight could assist with your redemption. Is the tea to your satisfaction?"

The doctor realized that he had ignored his cup thus far and sought to remedy the situation. At first, he did not taste anything. It was just hot liquid sliding down his throat from the miniature tea cup. Then he began to taste the strong brew and the milk and sugar with the herbal flavor. It slowly warmed him from the inside out.

Drinking tea with Garak's soothing chitchat in the background, he felt his tension beginning to dissolve. Though he had changed and he would continue changing from the actions he took, at least he had somewhere he could return to while he came to terms with it. He was home and for the first time since he had returned, he truly believed it.

The End

A/N: Thanks for the reviews Maggie Ernst and Tamuril2.