*Chapter 9*: Chapter Eight: Troubled Waters

Previously: The Sandaime Hokage debriefs Kakashi after their mission to Nami no Kuni, where Kakashi learns that the records of the mission have been sealed. Haku is caught spying on Naruto, Danzou reveals the depths of his frustration to his senior aide, and three team captains discuss Naruto and his integration into team seven. But as the jounin seem to be approaching some kind of resolution for some of Naruto's more serious problems, an explosion shakes the room, and Kakashi's fear are confirmed as a chuunin instructor rushes in to warn him that Naruto is fighting with another genin...

Chapter Eight: Lighting Oil on Troubled Waters

Naruto allowed several of his bunshin to dissipate under the assault of the strange, sketched beasts. His hands and clothes were spattered with ink; his breathing was becoming harsh and ragged. And that kid attacking him still stood there with the same, empty smile that he'd had the moment Naruto first saw him.

"Why are you attacking me?" Naruto demanded.

"Attacking you?" Said the strange boy. "You mistake me. I'm only testing you."

Naruto created several more Kage Bunshin, one of which met a cluster of inky beasts and detonated, spraying ink and smoke everywhere. Naruto had learned since the first one that detonating it in air caused much less damage to the surroundings, since the shock wave wasn't propagating itself along the ground. But that cluster of inky creatures was a feint, Naruto was to discover, for the nest attack: A storm of sketched kunai flew out in a cloud. Naruto threw a bunshin into the path of several that would have struck a bystander cringing in the street; the bunshin came apart in a puff of smoke and the kunai fell to the ground to splatter on the pavement.

THAT WAS INTENTIONAL. Noted the Kyuubii. HE'S ATTEMPTING TO CAUSE COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

Why? Naruto asked in the confines of his mind, his fist spraying a stylized leopard across a storefront.

AT A GUESS? BECAUSE ANY COLLATERAL DAMAGE IN ANY FIGHT YOU ARE INVOLVED IN WILL INEVITABLY REFLECT ON YOU.

What? Wait, why? It's his weapons doing all the damage!

There was a moment of silence while Naruto fought, a chakra coated fist entangling another drawn lion and slamming it into the ground. Finally, Kyuubii replied, BECAUSE OF ME.

Naruto felt a moment of shock- and he wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't realized that immediately, or because he seemed to hear a faint note of guilt in the mental voice of the Kyuubii no Kitsune.

Kyuubii-san?

Sai felt a hint of satisfaction as he watched Naruto's frustration mount. The jinchuuriki's actions were becoming wilder, sloppier, more wasteful.

A little longer, Sai thought to himself, then allow him in close, kawarimi with a bystander, and that would be it. Mission accomplished.

Just a little more provocation.

"I was told you were strong, but it seems as though my sources were mistaken." Sai said out loud. "With such weak attacks, I have trouble believing you are actually a guy. Do you even have a dick, or did a tootsie roll slip from your waistband into your panties?"

Naruto froze stock still at this statement, as the ink creatures stepped back. Sai chose to twist the knife a little farther. "Or maybe it didn't just slip in there? Maybe it was the only thing you could find that didn't go completely limp at the thought of finding its way into your pants?"

Naruto went completely white at this, and a red glow creeped into his eyes, but strangely enough it was neither he nor Sai that threw the next blow.

Haku swept in like an avenging angel from the shadows. Within a split second, Sai's paralyzed hands had dropped his brush and scroll; moments later more senbon stole the strength from his legs as well. Unable to support himself, Sai fell forward onto elbows growing numb from further senbon penetrating his shoulders. A sudden halt of all sensation from below his neck accompanied two pinching pains just below his neck, and the roofing tiles rushed up to slap his face.

The tiles dug into his left temple, his cheek, his jaw. The position he'd collapsed into was awkward and uncomfortable, but he couldn't move anything from the neck down. This all became academic in a moment, save for the paralysis, as Sai felt a hand roughly bind itself in his hair, lifting him up, while a second hand- tense but rock steady- held a senbon angled inwards just to the right of his nose, seemingly only a milimeter from his eye. Sai blinked, and felt the presence of the needle with his eyelash.

Naruto's anger at the stranger's insults evaporated into surprise as he watched Haku strike from ambush, picking the other genin's defenses open and subduing him utterly in a flurry of aggression that was awe inspiring in its ferocity. Haku held a senbon in place for the killing blow.

"Haku, wait!" Naruto called out. "Keep him alive so that we can take him to the Hokage! He'll want to know why this guy started a fight in the middle of the village like that and endangered all these people."

Naruto looked around and noticed that all but two others had already deserted the street, both of them looking at him with an unreadable expression. "Um," He added, "Well, the buildings, too."

Haku was tense for a moment longer, before he pulled the needle back and roughly shoved the mystery nin's face back into the roof tiles.

Naruto leapt up to the roof to join Haku. "Uh, not that I'm complaining or anything, but... what was all that about?" Naruto asked as he reached Haku, who was busy binding the stranger with the senbon in his neck still in place.

Haku blinked and looked away shyly. "He... insulted you."

Naruto blinked in surprise as well. That was weird. He thought to himself. Hey, Kyuubii- do you understand what that was all about?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND ANOTHER MORTAL? I'VE BEEN ATTACHED TO YOU FOR FOURTEEN YEARS AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

Several ANBU chose that moment to arrive, accompanied by Kakashi. "Uzumaki Naruto, Haku. We have orders to bring you to the Tower for questioning. Until this situation is resolved, we will have to place you all under arrest."

Naruto shot a look at Kakashi, whose visible eye was unreadable. Figures. He thought to himself. Biting back an angry reply, he held his wrists out in resignation. "Well, let's not keep the Hokage waiting on little old troublemaker me."

"Hokage-sama." Said the kneeling ANBU in the Tiger mask. "The disturbance has been quelled."

Sarutobi stood staring out of his window. As I am already aware of from my scrying device... but you don't need to be aware of that. "Then your report, if you please."

"When we arrived at the scene, we found Uzumaki in combat with a ninja with whom we were not familiar. Naruto had the assistance of the recently immigrant ninja Mamochi Haku." The ANBU paused.

The moment of truth. Thought the Hokage. What will you choose?

"The immigrant subdued the boy. whom both he and Uzumaki claimed was the aggressor. We have little evidence of this..." The ANBU took a deep breath. "...But an eyewitness corroborated."

"And who is the witness?" Asked the Sandaime, slightly surprised at the ANBU's choice. I really didn't expect you to be honest, he thought to himself. You've been trying to get into ROOT for years.

"A bystander- one of those who until now has been vociferously against Naruto's continued existance." Replied the ANBU.

This morning is full of surprises, Sarutobi pondered. Time to test a theory. "So when did you finalize your decision to stay faithful to the ideals of Konoha?"

"S-sir?" Stammered the masked ninja.

"I know you released the aggressor in this to ROOT." The Hokage said. "And I also know that your purpose in this action was to build trust with Danzou. You are waiting for an invitation. I imagine that you have decided that you would be a useful double agent for me against his machinations... but... I do wonder, though- Why?"

The ANBU relaxed slightly. "Morishito Takeshi."

The Hokage cocked an eyebrow inquisitively. "Hmm?"

"He is the eye witness." Explained the ANBU. "He has called for fourteen years for the death of the Uzumaki boy, to be certain that the fox never broke free."

"Hn. And what precipitated his change of heart?"

"According to him, the Uzumaki boy took several kunai for him, possibly saved his life, from the reckless attacks of the other. He claimed that the other was trying to maximize property damage and injuries, but that Naruto fought harder to protect bystanders than he did to defeat his opponent." Answered the ANBU.

"I see." And in a fashion, the Sandaime did. Yet another case of a person's preconceptions regarding Naruto being shattered again by exposure to the boy's inherent decency. He does have that effect on people. "And because this boy

was willing to put himself in harm's way to protect an innocent, you chose to tell the truth?"

The ANBU began sweating again, but forged ahead anyways. "No sir. Innocents get wounded and killed in the world of a shinobi. That is life. But Morishito chose to side with Naruto. He shamed his neighbors who clammored against him for endangering them with this fight, told them that he and they all owed their lives and safety to Naruto's intervention. His neighbors were too proud to change, but he was willing to revise an opinion he'd had for fourteen years in the face of evidence to the contrary. When I understood this, I asked myself, can I show less fortitude and adaptability than a civilian, a simple merchant?"

Sarutobi nodded. "I would like you to continue in your pursuit to join ROOT. You will receive a three day suspension from active duty, pending investigation as to how you managed to lose a prisoner en route to incarceration. This should aid you in your cover."

The ANBU nodded. It was, after all, standard procedure. "Hai, Hokage sama."

"What of the other two?" Sarutobi asked. "Haku, and Naruto?" "Hamu is in an interrogation booth." The ANBU answered slowly.

"And Naruto?" Prompted the Hokage after a moment.

The ANBU sighed. "He is in the Meat Locker."

Naruto was bored.

In all honesty, this wasn't a terribly unusual thing. Naruto had spent a great deal of his life alone, with little to do, and thus, much of his life had been spent in one stage of boredom or another. When he was younger, this would have presaged a prank, the scope of the prank largely dependant on the depth of his boredom. In lesser stages of boredom, he would play with one of his scavenged board games, inventing some new rules and playing against a few of his clones.

Here, that was problematic for a number of reasons.

First, there were no tables here. Not that a table would fit in this cramped five foot by six foot cell.

Second, he couldn't make any clones- couldn't do ANYTHING that required him to shape chakra, as the cell was designed to absorb any chakra a person drew on. Should a person try desperately enough, it was a creative means by which to commit suicide through chakra exhaustion.

This was a cell for dangerous prisoners- the expendable ones who were more trouble to keep alive than they were worth.

In a fashion, it was rather flattering- this is the sort of cell you kept an S class prisoner in. It had an official title- Maximum Security Chakra Restrain Cell- but it's unofficial title was based off of what they usually found when they came back to see if the prisoner could be interrogated: The Meat Locker.

Naruto had never personally been in a Meat Locker before, but he'd heard of it. Several of the adults as he was growing up had talked in almost private tones around him about it, saying and hoping he'd end up in one someday, tossed in and forgotten. He was pretty sure they'd meant for him to hear it, too; for all he knew, the ANBU who'd brought him here had been one of them.

Naruto wasn't especially concerned. He knew that as long as he didn't shape any chakra, the room wouldn't react to it. And if push came to shove, he was also pretty certain that in a contest between the rate of drain from the room and the rate of supply from the Kyuubii, that even sealed in a human host the Kyuubii would win. And with a grim chuckle, Naruto knew that there was no mortal force in the world that could deal with Kyuubii unleashed- a last resort, of course, but if the room DID end up killing him in an escape attempt, Naruto had made a promise. And regardless of the past, Naruto ALWAYS kept his promises.

Haku was sitting still.

This was no departure from the norm; as far as the two observers could tell hed been in the same position for the last four hours. Were it not for the fact that there were no ways out of the booth but the way he'd gone in, and that the room suppressed illusions, they would have suspected a genjutsu.

The rear door to the observation room opend; in walked Kakashi and the Sandaime Hokage. "Has he been questioned yet?" Asked the Sandaime.

"No sir." replied Tojji, Officer of the Day. "We've been waiting for the ANBU who picked him up to return."

"He won't be returning today- he's on suspension." Stated the Hokage. "Being that he permitted a prisoner to escape, however inadvertantly, he is off duty pending investigation for subversion."

"Subversion?" Asked the second guard, a chuunin by the name of Ryosuke. "By whom, sir?"

A faint quirk of a smile tugged at the corner of Sarutobi's mouth. "We are uncertain- thus I have ordered an investigation."

The Hokage turned back to the observation window. "I am ordering you to make an investigation of your own. You will receive a Black Ops ANBU lliason to assist you in this endeavor. In the meanwhile, Haku is to be released to my custody, as I will interogate him myself, although I'm fairly certain of what I will learn, as we have independant civilian confirmation of his and Naruto's version of events earlier."

"But sir!" Said Ryosuke. "Mamochi Haku's claim is ludicrous- he claimed that the other ninja was the aggressor, that the Kyuubii child was defending civilians! That's obviously nonsense, sir, we can't just-"

"Ryosuke!" Barked Toji. "Stow it!"

Ryosuke looked at his superior in disbelief. "But sir, the kyuubii is a mons-"

Toji slapped Ryosuke. "You were told to shut up, Officer!" He snapped. "Two demerits, logged and noted. Acknowledge!"

Ryosuke snapped to attention, the resentment still in his eyes, but his voice was drill ground perfect. "Officer Ryosuke, received two demerits, insubbordination, SIR!"

"To continue, that boy is NOT the Kyuubii, just the unlucky kid the damned thing is locked in." Toji went on. "You will NOT spread rumor or slander to the contrary, as I have personal evidence that he is an exemplary Ninja of Konoha, despite the rumors and hostility the village has given him!"

"Sir, permission to speak freely!" Barked Ryosuke, still staring straight forward.

"Go on." Said Toji with narrow set eyes.

"The Kyuubii murdered my parents!" Ryosuke said forcefully.

The senior ninja nodded. "The kyuubii also killed my father and older sister." He replied gently. "And the Kyuubii is locked away where it can never harm anyone. Whereas Uzumaki Naruto personally protected and saved the lives of my cousin, her father, and her son, as well as killed the Nuke nin Mamochi Zabuza who was hired to kill my uncle."

"Details of that mission are sealed, by order of the village council." Kakashi said. "Being that you were unaware of the stricture, I imagine the Sandaime Hokage will forgive you this... indiscretion, so long as this information does not leave this room." He looked to the Hokage for confirmation, who nodded once.

"Toji looked puzzled. "But... why?"

"I think the more important aspect of all of this is that your family needs to be informed that this information is to be spoken to no-one, as the record of this mission is S-rank classified information." Said Kakashi. He turned his attention back to the Hokage. "You realize, Hokage-sama, that technically, we're obligated to inform the council of this conversation. As a matter of village security."

Toji's eyes widened at the implications of this. But before he could say anything, the Hokage replied blandly, "Which conversation was that again? I've been having trouble with my memory in my old age."

Kakashi gave Sarutobi a measured look for several seconds, while the others remained silent. "I speak as devil's advocate here, Hokage Sama, but you realize that were those words to have left the mouth of any other citizen of Konoha, civilian or ninja alike, it would be treason..." Kakashi trailed off.

"And even the Hokage is not above the law." Sarutobi finished for him. "Kakashi, I remember your father well."

Kakashi grimaced; the Sandaime knew that even now, the White Fang was a sore subject with him. "Is there a point to this?" He asked acidly.

Prior topics forgotten, Toji and Ryosuke stood rivetted by the scene unfolding in front of them.

Sarutobi sontinued, "He was a good man. I always felt that Danzou dealt with him too harshly. Sakumo was a brave warrior who made a difficult decison based on too little information. Ultimately it was the wrong one, and many died who would not have had he completed the mission as he was ordered. We were at war; death is a part of war and his choice was ultimately to cost Konoha dearly. But Danzou's public humiliation of the White Fang did nothing save to cause him to eventually commit Seppuku, and cost us another of our finest warriors. Like so much before, Danzou's quest for military supremacy of Konoha weakened the village further."

"What I say now is not to leave this room." Sarutobi said in a stronger tone of voice. "This is especially important for you,

Kakashi, to know, as Naruto is under your command. Konohagakure was originally in possession of all nine of the Biijuu." The others stood staring in disbelief. "They were imprisoned in ancient devices called Philospher's Stones. And they were the reason for both of the Shinobi wars.

"Originally they were used as a power source- how the ancients imprisoned them we may never learn. But their use is what enabled the first of the Kekkei genkai. It was the theft of the Sanbii by Mizugakure that sparked the first war; as we investigated this theft Amegakure and Sunagakure launched a joint attack in order to get the others. We were only partially successful in defending- in the end, we retained Yonbii, Rokubii, and Kyuubii. Even so, Konoha remained more or less on top for ours were the strongest Kekkei Genkai, and ours the best ninja.

"The dynamic was altered drastically when Sunagakure broke the stone containing Shukaku. Sunagakure has always chosen quality over quantity, a tradition that continues today (although not for the originally envisioned reasons). They sought to use the Ichibii to create the ultimate warrior, and after a fashion, they succeeded. We of the other villages attempted to create our own jinchuuriki, as they have come to be called, but we were unaware of the side effects- the spirits, angered by the disturbance of their slumber, then forcably and painfully sealed into human hosts, naturally rebelled. They drove their hosts mad, and rampaged, killing indiscriminately. Worse still, if the jinchuuriki were killed, this released the biijuu at their fullest power. Eventually, after the second Shinobi war, the Biijuu which had been subdued in their hosts were distributed out to the other villages to balance power amongst the shinobi nations. But the power of the

Philosopher's stones was lost. All that remained of them was the enraged spirits that had been imprisoned, and the usual method was to inflict a permanent slumber on them- to keep them docile and pacified until their life was over- and prepare a ritual to hold the demon for its next lifetime.

"Something went wrong, though, the last time. The host died unexpectedly, and Kyuubii broke free. There were few alive who knew the nature of the Biijuu in Konoha- even those who lived through the wars knew little about the purpose behind them. So when the Kyuubii broke free, the Yondaime was in a terrible position- they had no means by which to restrain the Kyuubii to implant into another human- not that one had been prepared for the containment. But the Yondaime was a master of seals, and somehow devised a new one- one that would rather than merely enclose the beast within a human, would completely contain it. Untested, the usage of the seal is what killed the Yondaime. But Naruto became the first jinchuuriki to contain the beast that never went berserk or insane. Somehow, though, the seal permitted the demon's chakra to flow through him, and Naruto- little orphaned Uzumaki Naruto- has somehow found a means by which to completely control the Kyuubii's power. Almost as though he has found a means by which to calm the creature and appeased its anger." Sarutobi reached over and grabbed a glass from the table, poured water into it. Sipping at it, he murmured, "Much better." Louder he continued, "Naruto was special. Unfortunately, he was also a catalyst for several things that have come to pass since. Most notably, Sunagakure attempted to repeat the feat managed by the Yondaime Hokage. Admittedly, their seal crafters are incredibly skilled- but their seal was not so effective as that placed on Naruto. Or simply perhaps Naruto is a more exceptional person than any could have guessed. None the less, their vessel was not so stable as Naruto.

"We have had several reports of one called Subaku no Gaara. He is a genin this year, and from what reports have come, he is a deadly shinobi. He will be participating in the Chuunin exams next month, by all expectations. And this places the council in a very tight position. On the one hand, they wish to conceal the depths of Naruto's skill and power. On the other hand, they have little choice but to encourage him to participate in the chuunin exams this year, if for no other reason than to avoid losing face to Sunagakure. Financially speaking, we are dependant on our reputation amongst the shinobi villages, and should Subaku no Gaara sweep the chuunin exams, much of our revenue would be impacted. And allies or no, Sunagakure is still competition for our clients."

The others waited as Sarutobi finished. Even Kakashi had shaken off his sulk. "Well..." He began. "That is even more than you told me during my original briefing for team seven. But this comes back to our- or rather, your- biggest problem:

Danzou."

"Danzou." Sarutobi agreed, looking at though he'd unexpectedly bitten into a lemon. "I have no doubt that this attack was staged by ANBU Root. And I have known for several months now that Danzou is head of that organization- and that even before it was eradicated- or driven into hiding- he was probably its leader even then. I've not been able to penetrate his offices- yet- but I've seen enough to say that Root is strong, stronger than even it is aware of, and still gaining strength. But his single minded obsession with Konoha's military might is wasting the resources of both Root and Konoha- and thereby weakening Konoha itself. Again. And he is doing so now from the confines of the law- doing so in such a way that I have no legal way to counter him. This attack not withstanding, I have no proof that can be brought before the council, and attempting to will only tip my hand to Danzou about how much I know. He continues to erode the balance, consolidates his power, and picks away at our support. Before too much longer he will control most of ANBU, and shortly after that, Konoha will be his, he'll start his beloved war again, and the village will fall."

"There is always the other option." Said Toji. "You know that Danzou is ultimately working to directly harm the village."

"It isn't that simple." Replied the Hokage. "Konoha is ruled by laws. We must abide by those laws or else we have nothing."

Ryosuke finally spoke up. "Um... sir... the laws apply only to..." He stopped, shutting his mouth.

Sarutobi looked at the chuunin carefully. The laws apply only to shinobi of Konoha... That's what he was going to say. Out loud, Sarutobi shook his head. "None of this matters right now. This information that you have all heard is classified S-rank secret, to be divulged to no-one but the Hokage, whether myself, or my successor." He nodded towards the window, where Haku was visible, still motionless. "Release him. I have decided that he needs no real interrogation. Things will be hard enough ahead wihtout placing more stress on him now."

The two shinobi officers nodded, opening the door and informing Haku of his release. Sarutobi's fingers flashed. -Did Haku hear?-

Kakashi nodded slightly, his own fingers flickering. -Certain. Eavesdrop this room since before we arrive.-

Sarutobi flicked his eyes at the officers; they were waiting for Haku to walk over. -Ice on window frame?-

Kakashi nodded. The officers were bringing Haku into the room. "Ready to go?" Asked Kakashi with smiling eye.

Haku cleared his throat and nodded. I had no idea you were such a person, Naruto sama... he thought to himself. I won't let anything happen to you, I swear it on my life... I will serve you always.

"Uzumaki. You're free to go."

Naruto looked up from his seat on the hard bench. "Just like that?" The officer nodded. Naruto swore he saw a look of respect in the man's eyes. Unnerved, Naruto asked, "W-what?"

The officer looked at him a moment, checked the hallway in both directions- Naruto tensed himself for a fight. Even if his chakra would be hampered by the room he swore he wouldn't go down easy. But the officer smiled at him gently and said, "No need to worry. What I have to say is a breach of security... but... I wanted to thank you."

"For- for what?" Naruto asked, completely off guard.

LOOK AT HIM, KID. The Kyuubii said within the confines of his mind. YOU'VE SEEN SOMEONE WHO LOOKS A GOOD BIT LIKE HIM.

Naruto blinked at him in confusion. The officer said, "I thank you... for saving the lives of my cousin, her son, and my uncle, when you went to Nami no Kuni. And if ever the Koemi clan may be of service to you or yours, give them this." He pulled a small token out of his pocket and handed it to Naruto. The boy realized with a start that the device on it was that of the most prestigious weapon makers in Konoha. He looked back up at the officer. "We aren't a famous ninja clan- I was lucky to have the skill and drive to attain what rank I have. But we are the ones who make weapons for the elite, and you have earned our gratitude. And we repay our debts."

Naruto felt a strange feeling well up inside him, something he couldn't identify. "But... won't you get in trouble?" He whispered.

"If I do," the officer said, "It would be only a fraction of what I owe you for saving my cousin. Come on, kid. My name's Toji. Let's get you signed out of here- I'm sure you want to be some place more comfortable than this."

Wordlessly, Naruto followed him out of the room.

End Chapter Eight

-AN: Well, a couple things to mention. First off, I'd like to thank everyone who has PM'd me about the story. I've been enjoying writing this and the story is flowing beautifully. But what I warned you about with the last update has finally come to pass- I have reached the end of my written story. Not the outline, so don't worry, the story will continue, but this is the last fast update I have for you. And if the chapters end up being as long as they have been, it may end up being as much as a week between updates. I write fast but I don't want to risk ruining the muse by breaking habit, so everything is going to be handwritten first before I put it on computer screen.

Historically speaking, Kunoichi were actively trained to use sex as a tool. I'm speaking of the real ninja clans of Japan, here- all the way back to their roots. They were smart enough to recognize an effective tool when they saw one, and there isn't much as effective as getting a man in an important position to lower his guard than through sex. Thus, yes, even young kunoichi are going to be at least briefed on the topic. If not trained on it. And I highly doubt that there is any force on earth that will make me write a lemon involving a preteen and a young teen, just... ew. No thank you. Not my style. I'm dealing with realistic issues in their world but do NOT expect me to illustrate them. I might add in a lemon about older characters like (deleted for spoiler info) and (Also deleted for spoiler info) but the underage thing just creeps me the hell out. Maybe the main characters will feature in some in the shippuuden arc of the story but not any earlier, and nobody under eighteen. So please don't ask me to write pedo.

Kyuubii as a character: I know I haven't used him a great deal... but the times and places he chooses to speak are entirely his own. Both in my story and in Naruto's world. But when he does speak, it's usually something important- and don't assume that the only times he speaks is the times I've recorded. Kyuubii develops as a character as well- but his evolution as an individual is much slower than that of main characters, simply because Kyuubii has been alive far longer than any of them.

Kurenai... Well, I'm portraying her as a woman rather than as a stereotype. A stereotype has the same, canned, predictable response each time. A woman cannot be predicted from day to day or even from hour to hour. For those of you who find incredible my portrayal of the surprises she may come up with, all I can say is: Try living with a woman, REALLY LIVING with her, instead of in the same house with her. Speak with her. Ask her things. Answer her questions. Respond to her presence in your house. Respond to her presence in your life. This doesn't just go for wives and girlfriends. This goes for mothers, daughters, sisters. Women are incredibly complex and most of them are fairly tolerant and forgiving... of men, that is. They tend to be less so of other women, but that I think is because they think another woman should know better. Women are durable and patient and often find we of the weaker sex (Meaning men) to be both aggravating and adorable, often at the same time. Women are also more practical, more pragmatic, and less squeamish about doing whatever it takes to get the job done. Whatever the job may be. So the next time said female bursts into tears for no discernable reason, don't EVEN take this as a sign of weakness- a woman's sensitivity to- or at least, awareness of- emotions is higher than that of men, making them more intuitive and often wiser about situations then men are. But often we, in our shallow, simple natures, don't understand what they are thinking or feeling, so we mistake them by comparing them to our own motives and abilities. Never a wise thing. For those of you out there who understand, congratulations to you- you've gone a step closer to being a better human being. To those of you who don't get it still, don't worry- in time you will. And for all of you, remember- a woman bursting into tears over something isn't ALWAYS a bad thing- and a woman smiling at you isn't always a GOOD one. Make sure you know the ENTIRE situation and ask her opinion before jumping to conclusions. You will live longer.

Thanks for reading. Ja mata.

-AXENOME