CHAPTER NINETEEN: The Bajanator

"What shall we of the playing first?" I ask Mitch in a Russian/Transylvanian/Confused-Eastern-European accent. I cut him off as soon as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Happy Wheels it is!" I say, and open up the game. He pouts while I wait for the game to load.

"You mad, bro?" I ask, smirking.

"No, just –"

"Butthurt."

"No," he says, pulling on his hood strings and contracting the fabric around his face.

"You are. You're a butthurt turtle."

"Am not."

"Well, it doesn't matter now because the GAME IS LOADED! RENAISSANCE RAVAGER GO!" I say, clicking on one of the default levels. I play for about twenty minutes, then turn the computer over to Mitch. I steal his laptop and go on Twitter to check the Jenja tag.

"Hey, Mitch, they're telling us to read a fanfic aloud," I say. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't turn towards me.

"Is that safe?" he asks. I consider it for a second.

"Probably not."

"Well then no."

"And by no, you mean absolutely, right?"

"I –" he starts to reply, but I cut him off.

"Have you ever watched one of the old 'Jenna Unplugged' streams from, like, two years ago? Because then you would know. I am not a safe person."

"What exactly does the term 'unplugged' mean?"

"No rules, no censoring, three in the morning. I recorded them so I could upload them later. Most people haven't seen them unless they're a super-duper hardcore fan 'cause they're like three hours long each and there's about… fifteen, I think? I don't know."

"I see. I don't think I've seen those," he says. I almost mention that they're pretty similar to his old bYd podcasts on ASF, but then I remember that he doesn't wanna deal with all the #ReviveASF stuff. I can't blame him. If they did "revive" ASF, it wouldn't be the same. Their audience is too young now; they wouldn't be able to be themselves as much as they used to.

"Well, in that case, I will find the most poorly written one-shot possible and read it as dramatically as I can," I say. It takes me two seconds to Google "Jenja fanfiction" and I get thousands of results. Only a few more seconds gets me to a suitably crappy one.

"Okay, now, I'll have to adjust for lack of punctuation here, but I'm gonna say everything how it looks. In other words, I'm gonna pronounce EVERY SINGLE SPELLING ERROR, so prepare your bodies."

"YESSSSSS!" Mitch yells, clapping. "BEAT THE LEVEL! YOU SUCK, MR. SEGWAY MAN!"

I clear my throat. "Christmas Morning, by… I'm not even going to attempt to pronounce this username. The amount of numbers in it is TOO DAMN HIGH.

"It was a dark and stromy –"

"Stro-mee?" Mitch asks.

"Yes. Now shush."

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I'm not."

"Anyway… It was a dark and STROMY night, and Jena – oh my god, they spelled my name wrong – Jena sat strait up – WRONG KIND OF STRAIGHT YA DINGUS – strait up in bed which wake – WAKE? DO YOU EVEN GRAMMAR BRO? – wake up Mitch. "Whats wrong" he says and sits up too. "I'm in labor" Jena says. WAIT WHAT? LABOR? WHAT THE – you know what, I don't even care, this was a bad idea, I'm done. You can take over Twitter."

"But I just started playing," he says. I roll my eyes.

"Fine. But I'm gonna find a smutty one then."

"A what?" he asks.

"Oh, trust me, you'll see. I think I'll find a Merome one, just to make it even better." It only takes me a few seconds to find one. "This one's called Power Moves Only, by… I can't pronounce this one either. Oh, this one is much better written." I clear my throat and begin.

"I think I'm gonna start in the middle of this one… ooh, here's a good place. His chocolate eyes went straight to the taller American, roaming his skin. They –"

"Wait, are they talking about me checking out Jerome?"

"Yes. Now, for the love of peanut butter, shut your goddang mouth and let me read you the tale of my people. They fell upon a black patch when they wandered downwards, and Mitch had to prop himself up on his elbows to be able to see it properly. There was a writing engraved into Jerome's hip. It read… Power moves only."

"Is that the end?" he asks.

"Well, unless you want me to read aloud you getting things in your butt aloud to… 8,000 people, yes it is. Do you want me to continue?"

"Nope. Nope. Nope, I think we're good."

"Okay, continue it is. Mitch blinked in confusion for a few seconds. But then, almost like the gears in his brain moved, he burst out laughing. He laughed so much –"

"J," Mitch says in a warning tone. I continue, starting to laugh.

"—so much that he had to hold his stomach because his sides hurt. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. As he went to wipe them, his wrists were grabbed and pinned to the mattress. "Mn?" he let out a confused sound, looking up at the scowling Jerome. The American was glaring at him as he pinned both of Mitch's wrists above his head with one hand—"

Mitch cuts me off by sideways tackling me from off the chair like I did in our little intro video. I start laughing, both from his tactic and at his timing. It was just about to get reeeeeaaaal smutty up in here, if you know what I need.

"Meeeeeeeetch, it was just getting gooooooood," I whine. Luckily, the webcam can still see us.

"Yeah, well, now you can play Happy Wheels, ya JERK!" he says.

"Y'know, I would, but there's a person on my lap. This must be what it's like at Jerome's house."

"You're such a bitch," he mumbles into the floor.

"Don't you ever forget it. You can change games if you want, I'll stop reading the story."

He pulls up Minecraft (surprise, surprise) and we start up the real stream again.

-oO0Oo-

*MITCH'S POV*

After her harassing me with that Merome story (I've actually read that one before, but… THAT DOESN'T MATTER), I start playing on the Hive. I decide to play Hide and Seek in honor of the first Skype call we ever had. The nature of the game gives us a perfect opportunity to answer some questions.

"'Jenna, what are your top five favorite things EVER?' Well, JigglyButtNuggets20399, I would have to say –" she starts.

"Whoa whoa whoa, just you? I feel excluded."

"Good. You should. AS I WAS SAYING before Mr. BajanCanadian interrupted me, my top five favorite things ever are probably, in no particular order… um… well… skittles, ice cream, piggyback rides… having my hair brushed by someone else, and my viewers, obviously," she says.

"WOOOOOOOWW, good guy Jenna over here."

"Yes is me hello! Oh, here's a good one. What would you family call the other person? My family would probably call you, like, the Bajanator or something lame like that," she says.

"The Bajanator?"

"It's happened before. My family is a bunch of weirdos."

"But the Bajanator?"

"It's easier not to question – dood, oh my god, Grace just texted me," she says, laughing.

"What did she say?"

"That she isn't weird but I'm right."

"I – okay," I say. It really is easier to just not question it. "NOOO I diedz!"

"LOL you are noob sir. Not big surprise," she says in the typical 'not big surprise' voice. I smile.

"Wood stairs too strongk," I say.

"Too strongk to survive. Haha, DARWIN!" she says. "I bet you half these people didn't get that joke," she says.

"Indubitably," I reply. There's a couple seconds of silence.

"You guys have some pretty messed up questions," she says. I lean over to her and she tilts the screen so I can see. About half the questions are asking us whether or not we've screwed yet. Her face starts getting red, and I can feel mine heating up too.

"Oh my god," I say, laughing. Another awkward pause.

"Oh, here's a legit one," she says. And the awkwardness just kinda melts away.

A/N TIME? ALWAYS, YO! : Hey guys! QD here with another chapter for y'all! This is without a doubt the most awkward chapter I've written yet. No one submitted a Jenja story (sad face), so I started one myself but literally had no idea what to write. And thus, Jenna in labor. The Merome story is an actual story called Power Moves only (it came up when I searched on Google) by FF dot net author kurumaka. Thanks dood! And now for the facts:

-I use all the accents mentioned in this chapter more than I probably should.

-Renaissance Ravager is a real default level in Happy Wheels.

-Someday, I would love to do a "Jenna Unplugged" stream. I would have so much fun. Unfortunately, as I have mentioned approximately three billion times in this story. MY COMPUTER SUCKS.

-I watched all the old bYd podcasts recently in approximately… two days? I don't know. But it's around fifteen hours of content… I should get a real life.

-That example of Lily reading fanfics is basically just me reading fanfics, except I'm raging quietly in my room instead of reading aloud to eight thousand people.

-Those are my top 5 favorite things, except for instead of my viewers I love my readers :)

-My mom has a history of giving boys nicknames with the suffix "-anator."

-I meant what I said about ASF. It wouldn't be the same if they did bring it back, just because the boys have grown up.

And the fictions:

-I have no idea if that is an actual Twitch username. I just thought it was funny. (haha potty humor)

-There is no way I would read a smutty fic out loud under those circumstances. Half-past not happening, sorry not sorry.

I think that about wraps it up! Thank you guys for everything you've done for me. When I saw that this story was over 10,000 views (10,420 as of me checking right now), I legitimately almost cried. You beautiful individuals are seriously the best, and I can't thank you enough. Keep up the reviewing, following, etc. because you guys are my inspiration! Much luv!

-Quiet Defiance

PS – As usual, I would just like to apologize to Mitch for being bad at writing for him. Probably not reading this, but still, I'm sorry dood!

PPS - *cough IT WOULD BE FREAKING AMAZING IF MITCH READ FANFICTIONS IN A STREAM OR A VIDEO SOMETIME JUST SAYING cough cough*