Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments, the character names are owned by Cassandra Clare. The original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story are owned by lily fierce, 2011-2012. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate without express written permission.

Hi guys! Okay so I think I should probably start by apologizing since I took a bit of a break from writing after my aunt passed away a few weeks back and didn't really warn anyone. I just wasn't in the mood so if I did try whatever I wrote would more than likely be quite depressing and I think you can still get a bit of the angsty stuff that comes through in this. Anyway, I know this took forever :P but I hope you can understand and not hate me for my SUPER LATE update. Lol… so 'nough chit-chat.

9. Secrets Untold

If Clary had originally thought that riding in a convertible was absolutely exhilarating, boy was she wrong. The moment Jace sped out of her house's garage Clary knew that whatever thrills that convertible had provided were nothing compared to the overwhelming excitement she felt at that moment as scenery rushed past in a mixed blur of emeralds and browns. Then Jace began entering the city and the colors of trees and altogether green banished and in its place was the hustle and bustle of New York in the early afternoon and it was amazing.

Clary clung to Jace the entire time, pretty sure that she must've been suffocating him but he didn't complain so her grip remained steady and only tightened when he would suddenly swerve or maneuver around cars like some psycho maniac. She was expecting this though, judging by the way he drove a normal car, she should've guessed that a motorcycle wasn't any better but a girl can only hope.

Let's just say, if Clary weren't practically in love with this man she would've told him to stop at the next intersection so she could get the hell off.

But she didn't, so he drove and drove finding his way around the streets of new York like only a native could and she figured he had probably lived there before and for quite some time too if he could maneuver himself so easily. They passed several dark allies, dark even in mid-morning, until the city, and the buildings in it, disappeared and only open road remained. She could see the thin trees outlining the way; the cement lay hard and threatening before them and despite the cold chill that crept up her spine at the thought of crashing, Clary kept her eyes open and her grip placed firmly on Jace. Nothing at that moment felt more real to her than the feeling of him under her fingers. The firmness of his abs, the scent: spice and danger and man, and the heat that poured from him and seeped into her held all her attention.

Clary had never seen herself as the type of girl to ride in a motorcycle and especially not seated behind a man like Jace. Yet here she was.

Her attention was taken from her thoughts and fantasies as the ground beneath them began to slope upward. Clary looked up only to see more trees and a small path between them.

"Jace," she shouted over the growl of the bike and the sound of the wind "where are we going?"

She could feel the rumble of his laughter before he yelled right back. "You'll see."

Figuring he was most likely not going to tell her she remained silent gripping onto the edges of his leather jacket as they continued speeding down the very narrow lane leading up to the hill. Trees lined the sides and the place seemed mostly deserted. It was slightly romantic. Clary could see the light traces of oranges and yellows peeking from in between the foliage and then it hit her. Jace brought her here for the sunset and my god was it beautiful.

The bike came to a stop in a clearing. Trees still lay behind her but before her was the most breath taking view of the city over the edge of what must have been a cliff but Clary wouldn't dare peek over the edge for fear of falling. Not that she would ever admit it of course. She could see the gold spilling over the horizon as the sun seemed to sink beneath the edge of the earth. Although the view was the very first thing she noticed, a close second was the gazebo sitting in the very center of the clearing and thankfully, for Clary's sake, it wasn't too close to the edge of the cliff.

"Jace…," she breathed "this is beautiful."

He held out his hand to help her off of the bike and Clary took it as he led her towards the gazebo. She removed her helmet and set it near the bike before allowing her gaze to rest on him.

"You know, I haven't danced with you since your sister's wedding." he started "I would really like to dance with you again."

Her breath caught. "But there's no music."

Jace leaned into her, his nose almost touching hers. "Do you underestimate me Clary?"

"Well…" she stretched the word out and watched as he smirked.

"Come on smartass." Clary laughed as he led her to the center of the gazebo and pulled out his- keys…?

She looked at him with a questioning expression plastered on her face. That was until he clicked a small button on what looked like the key to a very expensive car, or motorcycle in this case, and music flooded the space. His bike had a stereo!

Jace pulled her into his arms moving them to the music coming from the stereo connected to the motorcycle. He held her so tenderly, like nothing was more precious.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"Just a spot I used to come to with some old friends. They don't come here anymore."

"But how did you even know it was here?"

"Before leaving for Switzerland I lived in New York and I guess you couldn't keep me in one place back then. I had friends everywhere and went everywhere. "

Clary heard the words he said and turned to look at him. It didn't seem like he had very good memories of his time there. "You didn't like living here?" she asked.

"What makes you think that?"

She hesitated "I can see it in your eyes when you speak of it," Clary placed her hand on his bicep and lightly trailed it down to his hand and back up. "And you're so tense."

He sighed. "Oh… it's not that I didn't like living here it's more like too much happened and so far every good memory I've had here has involved you."

Clary smiled and pulled herself closer to him, pressing their bodies flush, one against the other. "You, Jace Herondale, are a very big charmer."

Jace smirked and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. "Only with you."

"Mmmm hmm, sure."

He grasped her face gently and brought her to him. "I don't want anyone but you." His lips came down on hers kissing her so deeply she felt it through her entire body, her being vibrated with the feel of his kisses, the taste of him on her lips.

They danced, goofing around sometimes and other times he would just hold her close as they swayed.

One of her favorite songs came on and Clary giggled. "I love this song." it was ancient and would probably be one of her father's favorites as well but that was why she loved it.

He chuckled. "What, seriously?" she nodded, grinning from ear to ear and felt his arm hold her tighter as his fingers spread on her back. Jace dipped her and Clary let herself go, her head swinging backwards and she felt him lay a kiss on her neck before bringing her back up.

"I didn't know you could dance so well." She gasped.

"I have many talents," Clary could hear the sarcasm loud and clear in his voice— oh wait, not sarcasm, suggestiveness. "Some of which I hope to show you someday."

"Oh god… does your ego know no bounds."

He started to answer until Clary felt him tense. "Clary get behind me." He whispered and it was then that Clary heard the rustling in the trees and noticed the man emerging from the foliage.

He was built a lot like Jace only slimmer, with less hard muscle, but he wasn't taller. Clary mused at how attractive he was; short curly hair and light green eyes, almost hazel, his black gages added a badass touch that Clary knew had probably caused several people to avoid him on a dark street. However, next to Jace, he didn't even compare. "Well, well, well," he said, a menacing edge to his voice "if it isn't the great Herondale himself back from his extended break." The great Herondale, what was that all about?

"Hello Eric, I see you're still the same ass you've always been." Jace seemed to know him and of course was nowhere near intimidated by the other man. "I thought you of all people would have moved on from all this at some point."

"You know how it is. Not all of us have a rich daddy to buy us out of this life." Maybe it was just her instincts, call it women's intuition, but Clary really didn't like the image that was forming of Jace in her head because judging by their conversation, Clary figured he was either a school counselor or involved in whatever it was that this Eric person was in. At the moment, she figured it was the latter.

Jace ran his hand, the one that wasn't holding hers, over his face in what Clary could only describe as frustration. "What are you doing here?"

Eric's expression changed, Clary wondered if all the men in New York had suddenly become this bipolar. "What?" he asked. "Aren't you going to introduce that gorgeous girl behind you?" she could nearly feel the heat, the anger, radiating from Jace and thought, for just a moment, how comical he would seem if they were in a cartoon with smoke coming from his ears.

"She's none of your damn business Eric. Now answer my question," he waved his hands in the air as if to say and hurry before I lose my patience. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Eric sighed and shifted on his feet before focusing his gaze on Jace's once more. "The guys still come here and they sent me to scout the area. You're damn lucky as shit it was me too, if it had been John he would've probably reported you."

A smirk spread across Jace's face before he started to approach Eric. "I'm glad to see you haven't changed man. I was worried you'd turned into one of them."

"Naw," Eric grinned as they exchanged a handshake and the traditional man-hug "you know I'm not one for conforming to social standards."

"Well I'm glad." He waved to Clary who was still standing at the gazebo and motioned her forward. "Listen, this is my girl, Clary. Clary this is Eric, an old friend." Oh god, she almost swooned at those words, his girl. Was that what she was? His girl? God, she didn't know but she wanted to be. More than anything, even if they were in this situation, she still wanted to tell the world that she was his and he was hers.

"Hey" she said, quite hesitantly, the shock still much too prevalent in her mind to allow her to form anything other than single syllable words. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." He said suggestively, throwing a wink her way. Clary barely saw Jace's fist before it hit Eric. "Ow! Shit what was that for?" He scowled at Jace after he had received a nice punch on his arm.

"For checking out my girl you bastard." He laughed but Clary knew he meant it.

"Well, what do you want from …?" a rustling came from the woods lining the sides, the sun had completely sunk below the edge of the earth now and only the light coming from the moon provided any illumination in the space.

It became eerily quiet; Clary could only hear the movement of the branches and felt Jace tense behind her. He had grabbed her and pulled her into him much like before only this time she could tell that Eric was tense as well.

"Crap, listen, you've gotta get going unless you wanna explain why you went Waldo on us for six years." Eric muttered, his eyes glued to the foliage like a child's eyes to a display of fireworks.

"Yeah, thanks again." Jace held onto Clary as if she would be taken from him as they made their way to the bike. He helped her up as questions, so many questions, ran through her mind. Most- she didn't think Jace would answer, others Clary didn't want to think of the response she might receive but knew she would ask regardless because in the end, how bad could said response be?

000000000000-00000000000

Jace was at the brink of self combusting. How stupid could he have been to have brought Clary to the old dealing place? He knew she would love it, and she had, but in the end he was putting her life at risk and he'd be damned if he ever let anything happen to her. Jace himself had tried for years to remove the shame; the knowledge of what he had done so long ago haunted and, at the least expected moment, would suffocate him as thoughts came from every angle. Although he had enjoyed the thrills it provided, he wanted so much more from his life now, more than what killing and drugs could ever provide.

However, now it was too late and the memories assaulted him once more, leaving his mind all too tired. But of course, that was not the end of his problems. He would tell Clary, how could he not, and hope that she would understand, that she wouldn't push him away. There was always the possibility that she may but with the right timing and proper words she just might understand.

She clung to him now, her hands fisted in his jacket and her face buried in his back, and he had never felt better before, had never felt as alive as he felt with her.

Jace would fight for her. He would fight to keep her even if he had to take that man, her fiancé, down to do it. But he pushed those thoughts aside now, focusing only on the road ahead and on the small warm body behind him. They flew down the road and had made it to the city in nearly half the time it had taken them to leave it and in an instant both were back to the front drive of the manor house.

He climbed off the bike and helped Clary as well and while she removed the helmet, he replaced the tarp on the motorcycle and set it back to where it was before.

"Jace," he felt a soft hand rest on his shoulder "are you okay?"

She never failed in surprising him. Here she was asking him if he was okay when he should've been the one asking her. He turned around and met her gaze, the most beautiful green eyes encountering his. "Yeah" he whispered, pulling her into him "I'm fine, you?"

Clary smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason" he answered. Besides the fact that we almost ran into a street gang, but he wasn't ready to share that with her just yet.

"Who was that guy…? Eric, that was at the gazebo?"

Jace knew she would ask something to that extent, Clary wasn't stupid. Eric himself was the type of person who would walk into a bank and cause his presence in a place with money to be questioned. Of course Clary would wonder. "He was an old friend."

"Oh, ok." She muttered.

"I'll tell you more some other time ok?"

She nodded before pecking him on the lips and stepping away as she moved closer to the exit of the garage. Jace didn't let her go a step further before his hand shot out and grabbed her around the waist bringing her to his chest.

"Ah, ah, ah where do you think you're going?"

"Inside Jace… you know where our parents are probably waiting for us."

"Exactly, this is why we should enjoy this moment before confronting the villains in our lives." He joked.

Clary giggled and nodded. "Whatever you say."

Jace held Clary close as he steered her towards the exit of the garage before turning her around and letting his gaze absorb every inch of her face. He traced his thumb over the curve of her lip and felt, rather than heard, a soft sigh escape as warm breath washed over him.

He leaned in softly pressing his lips to hers but pulled away much too soon despite his body's pleas to continue holding her, feeling her warm pliant body pressed to him. He knew he couldn't; not with her father and his on the other side of the door.

"We should probably…" he muttered before hearing his voice crack at the end of what was a very unconvincing line. "We should get inside before they catch us."

"Yeah-"she sighed and pulled away. Jace could finally breathe, his mind didn't function when she was so close and he often lost all his senses. His smart words and witty remarks were worthless with her, because she deserved better than that. "Someday we won't have to do this, right?" she asked. "Hide and sneak around, I mean."

"Yes. Someday I'll be able to kiss you whenever I damn well feel like it. "He smirked and held onto her hand for just a few more minutes before the front door appeared in his line of sight and he was forced to release her.

She looked up at him before offering a small smile, which he returned as the door was opened and both stepped inside.

As they moved through the house, the utterly silent house, Jace felt odd, like a thick atmosphere surrounded them completely. Clary stiffened at his side and he caught sight of the reason when he notice her father sitting silently on the couch, button down shirt ironed to perfection, flawless black slacks and a pair of hugely expensive shoes on his feet. While it was obvious that Luke was a man of class, his expression, unlike his clothing, gave nothing away.

"Hello Clary… Jace." he said. Luke directed his attention to him "son, would you please excuse us. I would like to speak with my daughter for a moment?"

"Of course sir," Jace had no choice but to agree even though he wanted nothing more at the moment than to stay and hear whatever conversation Clary and her father were about to have. God, he felt like such a chick at the moment, wanting to catch the latest gossip. "Good evening."

Jace walked out of the room but stopped just when he was no longer visible to either Luke or Clary. He hid behind the wall that led to one of the closets just at the edge of the stairs. But instead of either entering the closet or going up the stairs he pressed his ear against the plaster hearing every word they spoke clearly.

"Hi honey, how was your day?" Luke's voice was soft and only slightly muted as it filtered in through the wall, but it was hard to miss the love in it and if Jace wasn't mistaken, the concern.

"Umm…" she stammered "it was fine I guess."

"Did you get a lot of work done?"

"Yes, I finished everything." He could almost picture her flushed cheeks and fidgeting hands. Although, she wasn't lying; she had finished everything but she'd finished it awhile back.

He heard her father's loud sigh and stiffened. "Why do you lie to me Clary?"

"What?" she breathed.

"You weren't at the office today were you?"

"How… how did you know?"

"I spoke to Hodge earlier; he said you'd turned in the paper work days ago and that you hadn't showed up." His voice lowered an octave before speaking once more. "Neither you or Jace had showed up."

"Daddy I can explain."

But Luke didn't let her explain before his soft voice cut through hers. "What are you doing Clary?" he sounded pained, hurt, like what he was about to say was slowly tearing through him.

"I'm not doing anything dad.

"I can see your eyes when you look at him and I can see the way he looks at you." Jace's chest clenched because he had hoped that he wasn't the only one looking at her in 'that way'. "And it's not the way that one might look at a colleague Clare."

She remained silent once more, not a single sound in the room and so help him he wouldn't be the one to break it.

Luke sighed. "I understand you're not perfect Clary, and you have a right to marry the one you love… but we have a choice to make." He said. "And you have to choose sooner rather than later what it'll be."

Jace held his breath, hoping for the answer he knew he wouldn't get.

"I need you to tell me now before we take this any further," Luke continued. "Are you into the arranged marriage, or do you want me to cancel the wedding?"

Jace could hear Clary's sharp intake of breath before a single word escaped her lips. "Yes" she murmured "I'm in."

He wanted to be mad. He wanted to shout how she couldn't marry that asshat, she didn't belong with Raphael… she belonged with him.

If Jace were being truthful with himself, he would admit that what he wanted most at that moment was to tell her that he loved her. He loved her and he didn't know if he could lose her. But in the end this, this mess, was his fault and there was nothing he could do to get out of it.

But he would try. If it meant that he could keep her, he would find a way out.

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