CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: Messing with Mat

"Hey there stranger," I say, smiling and hugging Mitch with my free arm.

"Hey yourself," he replies, grinning. He leads me out of the airport to a van, opening the trunk so I can heft my small suitcase in. I walk around to the front, but the passenger seat is already taken.

"Mat made me bring him," Mitch says. Mat has the most smug smile on his face as I pull the van door open. I yank it shut behind me and slide into the center seat.

"So this is the famous NoochM?" I ask. I extend my hand for a handshake. He accepts despite the awkward angle. His hands are warm, if a little sweaty. The sweat could just be me, though.

"In the flesh," he says.

"Well, you're not as big of a dick as Mitch says," I say.

"Don't say that, J. He'll believe you," Mitch says, starting up the engine.

"Wait, Mitch said I'm a dick?" Mat asks as we make our way through the parking garage.

"No, I figured that out for myself," I say, giggling.

"Wow, okay," Mat says. I hunt through my backpack and pull out my phone. Time for a little harmless fun at Mat's expense. I text him the same thing I've been texting him for the past 24 hours. A few seconds later, his phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out. I try to stop myself from smiling but it's really, really hard.

"Okay, this is seriously starting to piss me off," he says.

"What?" I ask innocently. He motions to his phone.

"Some random guy keeps texting me 'tits or gtfo' and it's annoying," he says.

"Huh. Imagine that," I reply. Mitch snorts and pulls out into the street.

"What?" Mat says, looking back and forth between Mitch and I.

"Nothing," we say simultaneously. I send him the message again.

"What the fuck?!" Mat exclaims. I have to try even harder to keep my laughs in.

"Alright, that's it. I'm gonna give this motherfucker what he wants," Mat says. I quietly maneuver myself so that I can see his screen. He's using Google to download a picture of some random girl's boobs. I quickly put my phone on silent so that Mat won't be tipped off. He sends off the picture and soon enough my phone lights up. I send him off a reply and wait.

"'Those aren't ur tits,'" Mat reads. I send him another message.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaims. I shove my face into my elbow to stop myself from laughing my head off. I can see Mitch in the rearview mirror holding back a smile. The rest of the car ride passes calmly, with the three of us making small talk. I don't text him again, just so that he doesn't get suspicious. When we get to the house, I'm stunned for a couple seconds. The videos I've watched don't do it justice. It's huge, and kind of imposing. It's even bigger on the inside. Mitch leads me to a bunch of couch cushions pushed under the stairs. I set my suitcase next to them and walk over to the front door. I lean back against it and slide down so that I'm sitting.

"So what do you wanna do?" Mitch asks, sitting down next to me.

"Shh, I'm taking it in," I say.

"Taking what in?"

"The majestic-ness." We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Okay, I'm done. What is there to do?" I ask.

"Well, we could go swimming, we could go eat, we could… I don't know. There's a lot of stuff," Mitch replies. Just then, my phone vibrates in my pocket. When I pull it out, it's Mat, sending me another (different) boob picture. I'd texted him again as soon as he was out of my eyesight. I reply telling him that I know he's lying and send him another regular text.

"You're not gonna give that up, are you?" Mitch asks, leaning over to look at my phone.

"Absolutely not. Not until he sends me a picture of his boobs."

"But he doesn't have boobs."

"Doesn't mean I won't try."

-oO0Oo-

*MITCH'S POV*

I gotta say, her prank is turning out to be pretty damn funny. She kept texting him all trough dinner every five minutes. He was suspicious at first, but then she told him that she was texting one of her college friends and he seemed to believe it. She's even added occasional laughs when she's looking at her texts. Her acting is actually not bad. As we're leaving the restaurant, she comes up next to me and shows me their conversation.

"Fifteen. He's tried fifteen times to send me boobs."

"Oh my god," I say, laughing. Mat turns around from his position ten feet ahead as Lily slides her phone back into her pocket. He grins and shoots me a look when he sees us standing close together.

"Mitch and Lily sitting in a tree," he starts.

"S-I-T-T-I-N-G," Lily says, cutting him off. I laugh.

"Shut down," I say.

"Shut up," Mat says.

"Shut sideways?" Lily says. Mat and I look at her confusedly.

"What? I thought we were listing directions to shut," she says.

"You're weird," Mat says.

"No way," Lily replies. "How am I going to tell my family?"

"Well, you see, there's this thing called a telephone," Mat says.

"Well I never," I say. We make our way back home, which is only about a ten-minute walk. Mat and Lily continue to tease each other the whole way. Somewhere along the line, Mat switches to flirting. Lily doesn't seem to notice. When we get back inside, Mat runs off, saying something about his bladder exploding. I grab a beer from the fridge while Lily pours a glass of milk.

"You know he was flirting with you, right?" I ask her. She nods.

"I know. I figure he'll regret it when he finds out I've been pranking him. Speaking of which…" she trails off, pulling out her phone. She sends off a text just as Mat walks into the question. He goes to the fridge and opens the door when his phone buzzes. I glance at Lily, and she does a silent countdown. She puts her last finger down right as Mat reads the message.

"Goddammit!"

A/N TIME! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE: Hey guys! QD here with another chapter for y'all. I'm really sorry that this is the only thing that's happening for the six-month anniversary, but it turns out that I'm gonna be camping over the weekend so I can't do what I wanted to. Nevertheless, I'll be back next week, so hopefully I can get it up and running then :) Thank you guys so much for your continued support of my story. I love you all so much for everything you've given me over these past six months. You beautiful individuals are one of the most positive forces to ever come into my life, and I am so grateful every day for each and every one of you. Special shoutout to everyone who followed me on Twitter (you guys are extra awesome). All that mushy stuff aside, here's the facts!

-While I don't think that Mat's a bad guy, I do think he is kind of a dick. Just a little bit. Mostly, I think, because of his ASF days. He's a lot better now.

-I would love to just sit somewhere to take in the majesticosity of anything. I'm not picky.

-I don't really notice when people flirt with me. I am a brick. A brick of friendship. Hello.

-MILK. I like it.

-I also like executing countdowns perfectly.

And the fictions:

-There is no way I'd be able to keep a straight face. I tried pranking my family once and I couldn't hold the face for anything. PM me if you want to hear the story :)

-I'd love to say I came up with the 'S-I-T-T-I-N-G' thing, but I saw it on Tumblr. Still funny, though.

I think that's everything! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, as well as the language. I was trying to represent Mat accurately. The chapter thing is just because big (actually, huge) things are coming soon. Get pumped! There is a drama coaster coming up and I am nowhere near sorry [insert evil author smile]. Much luv and internet hugs!

-Quiet Defiance

PS - If you guys are looking for awesome Percy Jackson content, check out my sister's new story! Her name is Little Defiance, if you want to look her up. Also if you want some supertastic Les Miserables, Harry Potter, or Song of the Lioness content, check out my friend Forever the Optimist.

PPS - Seriously. Check them out. They're awesome and I love them.