Please Be Careful With My Heart

Disclaimer: 'Charmed' is not mine. I just love it so much so I did this. So, please don't sue me.

A/N: Want an explanation? Read my profile.

Chapter 19

Dying Inside

Piper entered the manor, looking haggard and exhausted. The tears she had shed earlier that day took so much energy out of her. She walked straight to the kitchen to get some milk, and biscuits, and was planning to lock herself in her room and just detach herself from the world.

Grams was on the phone when she saw someone passed by and went to the kitchen, all she saw was a glimpse of legs and high-heeled sandals.

"I gotta go. I think Phoebe's home." She hang up and went to check on her granddaughter.

Piper was bending over behind the door of the fridge, so Grams couldn't see her face.

"Hey! Phoebe, honey." Grams called. When Piper closed the fridge and looked up… "Piper?" Grams was out of words. "I didn't know it was… I mean, I thought you were Phoebe." She was eyeing Piper from head to toe.

The moment Piper saw Grams, she immediately acted happy and energetic, and hugged her grandmother. "Hey, Grams!"

Grams just gave her a look at her sceptically, "Who are you and what have you done to my Piper?" She was obviously referring to Piper's 'not-so-usual' outfit.

"Oh! This? I've decided to… you know… change, dress a little and… have a makeover. Do you like it?" Piper flashed a smile that says, 'I'm happy with this!'

"Oh, you're beautiful, sweetie. No matter what you wear." Grams kissed her cheek. "But don't you think it a little too…" Grams to find the right word without breaking Piper's demeanour. "Flashy?"

"No, Grams. Many girls at school wear much 'flashier' clothes than this. It's perfectly fine." Piper reasoned. Grams was still not so convinced. "Okay. From now on, I will pick clothes that are subtler. Is that ok with you?" She smiled. Grams nodded reluctantly. She could sense something grave and depressive emanating from her granddaughter. 'She just got from a terrible break-up and now she's… bolder, totally different. There's something wrong.'

Piper could see pity in Grams' face. She knew that that pity was meant for her. So she decided to change the subject. "Grams, I love you. You know that right?" Piper reached for Grams' hand.

Grams smiled. "Oh sweetie, I love you too. And I'm kind of liking this 'more confident' you." She stroked Piper's hair lovingly and cupped her cheek. "But Piper, if there's something, anything that's bothering you. You know you can always count on me. Any time. Your call." Piper's eyes started to sting. But she just smiled at Grams quietly and looked down on the floor.

"I mean, I may be old but I'm definitely young at heart! So age gap wouldn't be a problem. Besides, I was once a teenager too. Been there, done that!" Grams lightened up. Piper just chuckled and hugged her Grams tightly.

Grams knew that Piper's been going through a tough time with her relationships along with her health problem, and maybe other things in between. But she will not force her granddaughter to open up to her. She must do it in her own time and feelings. Grams just wanted to make sure that Piper knows that she was there, and always will be.

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Prue was on her way down to the kitchen. A she passed by the bathroom, she heard sniffs and quiet sobs. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and she quietly peeked in. She saw Piper in front of the mirror trying to free her face from the heavy makeup, all the while releasing quiet sobs, tears streaming down her face. Prue's heart was shattered from the sight at the same time confused when she saw her sister's outfit. She was about to open the door wider but stopped herself. She just went to Piper's room and just waited there.

Piper entered her room to find her big sister, sitting on her bed, looking at her expectantly.

"Hey!" Prue greeted with a smile.

"Not again." Piper muttered quietly. Thankfully, Prue didn't hear that, or she'll receive an earful. She's just tired of breaking down in front of her sister. She knew how much her emotional state affects Prue's and she's getting sick of it. She didn't want to burden Prue with her problems anymore. Opening up to Prue doesn't solve her problems but hurts her sister instead. 'Besides. I'm tired of always having to explain myself. Can't I just feel and not talk about? Is 'storytelling' a standard operating procedure right after feeling bad?'

Instead of running to her sister's open arms like she used to, she just asked coldly, "What are you doing here?" While removing her sandals.

Prue was not ready for that kind of coldness from Piper. She expected her to cry out all her worries to her. So she doesn't how to answer her sister's question. She just said, "Nice outfit! Hot sandals. Where did you get them? I've never seen them before."

"I bought them." Piper answered again coldly.

"Really, where? I SO wanted to get one of those." Prue gushed and smiled.

"The mall."

Piper's answers were short and straightforward. No more, no less. It was as if Prue was interviewing some bored celebrity who's dying to end the interview and just leave the room. 'That acting workshop really works. I can't see a hint of the vulnerable girl I just saw in the bathroom. She's now… empty, hollow. ' Prue thought.

Prue was trying hard not be affected by Piper's iciness. "They look good on you. Absolutely. You look stunning, honey. I bet every guy in school were baffled and each and every one of them invited you on a date. Am I right? Especially Leo." Prue rambled. 'Oops. I'm so stupid! How could I mention him?' Prue thought with frustration. But she was ready to provide Piper a shoulder to cry on.

Piper's heart jumped at the mention of his name. But she had controlled the urge to breakdown just in time. She just stared at Prue for a minute or two, but it seemed like forever. Tension was starting to build up inside the room. Clearly, Prue was trying to start up a conversation that will eventually make Piper open herself to her. But Piper's just not up to it.

"I'm tired. I want to rest." Piper said out of the blue.

Prue didn't leave the bed, she just moved a little, enough for Piper to have a space on the bed beside her. So Piper added with emphasis, "Alone."

That single word hit Prue hard. But she respects her sister. "Oh… Okay." She whispered then got up and walked her way out of the room quietly.

For a moment, Prue just stood by Piper's door. She started to leave when she heard a door opening. She turned around to see Piper on her robe. She handed Prue her new blouse and skirt. "You want 'em. They're yours." Then went back to her room.

Prue just stared at the pieces of clothing in her hands then at Piper's closed door. "What happened to you?" She asked quietly.

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2 weeks later…

LEO

'For weeks, I've been trying to focus my attention and time on Phoebe, looking for reasons to love her. She's funny, pretty, outgoing, and a really sweet person. A true girlfriend material. But all of these could not just trigger love, right? No matter how I try to give some romance to the relationship, it just couldn't work out. There was no spark, no heartthrobs, each time I look at her. No uplifting feelings. No nothing.

I miss those familiar feelings, feelings I've first and only felt for one person. So, for weeks, I've been trying to do what a boyfriend should. There's only one thing I could never do, love her I have already given that away, only one girl owns my heart. Problem is she's not with me. Not anymore. I thought that seeing me in the company of another girl (not to mention her sister) might make her come back to me. I guess I was wrong. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way I do. Also, she seems to be enjoying the company of those dumb guys around her, and their lame attempts to get her. Nothing hurts like unrequited love.

I know I should be hating her for hurting me, but I can't help it. I love her. I want her back! If only the heart can be commanded or be programmed who to love, then my problem would be solved. I'm with Phoebe now, I want to learn to love her. Oh please, God. Tell me I'm doing the right thing.'

PIPER

'I don't know how long this is going to last. How long am I going to last? I miss him. I miss being in his arms and being happy. I miss not worrying about the future and where my life might take me. I miss being caught in the moment. He's always been my pillar. And it's not easy to just let him go to be with someone else.

Leo looks happy every time I see them together. I just hope I'm seeing the truth. I hope his smiles were real. I don't even wanna go there, I don't want to think that he might be suffering from extreme misery, too. Just like me.

Phoebe. At least now, I can see the spark in her eyes every time she smiles when she looks at Leo. And I'm happy for that, even though she doesn't have the slightest idea of what I've gone through or who I've given up, just to provide her happiness.

I admit, every time I see them together, laughing and not caring about the world around them, it impairs me and strengthens me both at the same time. But to hear Phoebe's cheerful laugh and see Leo's cheeky smile. It gives me the reason why I did this in the first place. Besides, I'm feeling weaker and weaker everyday. I can feel it. And if Leo and I are still together while my heart keeps failing me, I wouldn't be able to handle the hurt in his face seeing me like that. That's why I did it. That's why I made him angry, too angry at me. Anger diminishes love. Anger towards a person diminishes the hurt you feel when the time comes for that person to leave. And that goes for Prue, too.

I just hope I'm doing the right thing.'

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On the school grounds, students are hanging out, chilling out and enjoying each other's company under the warm feeling of the sun and the soft breeze of the afternoon.

On one bench under a tree, Leo, Phoebe and her friends were munching nachos and just laughing. Leo and Phoebe seemed to be enjoying some article on a magazine, they were so cute together, Leo's arms were around Phoebe and Phoebe was leaning back on him. From time to time, they feed one another with nachos, they were so sweet teasing each other.

Several feet from them, Piper was watching with agony in her eyes. Fortunately, she's alone. No annoying guys trying to get her attention. That morning she exploded and just screamed at them to get away from her.

'Strange how you could feel your death looming in, waiting for you to collapse and slip away, just by sitting steadily watching two people cuddle each other. This. This is what's gonna kill me.' She decided.

"It is painful, huh? Throbbing? Burning?"

Piper turned her head around to find Paige. Following her with her gaze while Paige sat beside her. Then Paige looked at Leo and Phoebe. "You shouldn't have let him go."

"It's not that simple." Piper reasoned.

"It is THAT simple!" Paige said with pure irritation.

"You don't understand."

"Don't you think I want to? Make me." Paige dared. Then there was silence. Paige sighed deeply then said quietly. "How can I help you if you won't let me?"

"I don't need help. From you or from anybody." Piper stood up and immediately arranged her things.

"You don't need help or you don't want to need help?" Piper stopped for a moment, clearly, Paige hit the button. "Piper." Paige took Piper's hand firmly and looked at her. Paige could see in Piper's eyes the sorrow, the absence of hope. But then Piper broke the eye contact and snatched her hand away from Paige. She left the girl stunned.

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Cole was in the second floor of the school building looking out the window at Phoebe and Leo.

'Bastard, Leo Wyatt! Juggling girls like bowling pins, huh? How about I steal your pins and have a little fun with them?' Cole thought, a dark plan forming in his filthy mind.

UUUUUU

Phoebe and Leo were in the front porch of the manor.

"Thanks, baby." Phoebe said with a sigh of content.

"You really helped me with that literature thing."

In response, Leo smiled. "You're always welcome."

Phoebe stepped closer to Leo with a look of admiration in her eyes, she said, "I love you, Leo." Then, with a hug, she rested her head against Leo's chest.

'Uh-oh. What are you gonna say to that?' Leo asked himself frantically. Leo just sighed deeply, closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you, too." 'Piper.' he added silently. He couldn't say the name of the girl he was hugging. It would be a lie. To himself. To Phoebe. To the world. It was a good thing Phoebe couldn't see his face or she would have found out the truth there.

Phoebe just hugged him tighter. "I'm so lucky to have you." She whispered. Then she pulled away and looked at Leo with a smile. Then they kissed. They have kissed before and just like all the other kisses…

Phoebe kissed him with love, and devotion.

Leo kissed her with… Piper in mind. He couldn't help it! He knew it was unfair to Phoebe. He knew it was wrong. But every time he kisses Phoebe, it always reminded him of the kisses he had shared with Piper. The only kisses he had given with his heart, and soul. The only kisses which left him trembling every time. Only to her. Only with her. 'I'm sorry, Phoebe.'

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Phoebe entered the manor with a smile on her face. But then she saw Prue by the stairs and the smile turned stoic.

"What was that?" Prue demanded.

"Whatever it was, it was none of your damn business." Phoebe said walking past Prue to the stairs.

Prue stopped her with a firm grasp on her arm. "Don't you dare walk out on me while I'm still talking to you." She said with venom in her voice and released Phoebe.

"Leo's my new boyfriend. But I'm sure you already know that since your sweet little Piper tells you almost everything. Doesn't she?" Phoebe mocked Prue.

'Actually, not anymore. And it's really frustrating!' Prue thought but she was not gonna tell that to Phoebe's face and let her win, no. "Is this your new modus operandi to ruin Piper? Steal her boyfriend? Because I'm telling you it's not gonna work. Leo loves Piper, not you." Prue mocked Phoebe in return.

Phoebe was hurt to hear that from Prue. But she got something to contradict that allegation. "If he loves her, then why is Leo not with her? Ask yourself that hmm, and for your information, Leo loves me. If you heard our conversation earlier, which I'm pretty sure you did considering you look like you've been waiting to confront me since World War II. You'll know that he told me so. He loves me."

Prue just stared at Phoebe. It's true she heard it, but she's not sure if it came from Leo's heart. Because she knew how Leo deeply loves Piper. But then now that she thought about it. She saw changes in Piper, and now Leo's with Phoebe, therefore doubts were on her mind.

Phoebe smiled with triumph when she saw surrender on Prue's face. 'Haha. I win.'

"OK, since you're out of words… which is a first time, I might add, I can now go to my room, sleep soundly and dream of Leo, my Lover." Phoebe smiled at Prue sweetly. "So long, goodnight, my dear sister." Phoebe turned her back and made her way, then she stopped and faced Prue. "Oh and one more thing. I did not steal him. He came to me." Then Phoebe bounced her way upstairs, gleaming.

Prue watched her sister glide upstairs happily. 'I have to know details on what happened and what's happening. If I can't get it out of Piper, who? Leo? No, I might kill him before I even say a word. Then who?' Then it clicked to her. Paige.

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Another day…

Leo was busy sorting his things by his locker. When he shut the door close, it revealed…

"Congratulations! You are a nominee for the 'Dumbest Guy I've Ever Met' Award. How do you feel about it?" Paige interviewed him with fake enthusiasm.

"Paige, I'm busy." Leo didn't really want to talk to anyone regarding his failed relationship with Piper.

"Oh, I know that! You're busy trying to fool yourself. Great Job!" Paige held her two thumbs up.

Leo sighed in defeat. "Ok, fine. Enough with your antics and tell me straight. What do you want?"

"I just want to know one thing. Did you ever really loved her?"

Leo knew Paige was talking about Piper. So he answered straight. "Yes."

"Then what are doing playing games with Phoebe?" Paige demanded. "Why don't you just get Piper back?"

"It's not that simple."

"Yeah, I heard that one before, and believe me, I doesn't work." Paige recognized that same cliché from Piper.

Leo was fed up with Paige's remarks, so he dragged her into a secluded part of the hallway. "If it makes you happy. Yes, I love her. I never stopped loving her. In fact, I believe I'll never feel the same way towards anyone else again."

"So what's the problem?" Paige was getting irritated with this roller coaster relationship.

"The problem is she doesn't feel the same way I do." Leo's voice was full of defeat.

"What makes you think she doesn't?"

"What makes you think she does?" Leo opposed.

It was Paige's turn to sigh. "I can see it. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you and Phoebe. All the pain are reflected there."

"Really? I don't see anything. All I see is a hard-headed girl, and cold-hearted too." Leo remembered every word from Piper and no matter how he tried to convince himself that she was lying, there's a tiny voice whispering in his head that maybe it was true. That Piper did play with him, and her angelic looks and soft disposition fooled him.

"Wait! Hard-headed, I agree, but cold-hearted?" Paige could not believe that that adjective could even occur in Leo's mind when it comes to Piper. But when she saw the sorrow in Leo's eyes, she realized that maybe the wounds were too deep to be just patched-up. She touched Leo's shoulder. "Leo, you can't just give up. You're right, she is hard-headed and incredibly stubborn, I can't get through to her. But maybe you can. You just have to keep on trying. Maybe, she has her reasons for doing this, I don't know what. But it's definitely not because she doesn't love you anymore, that I'm very much sure of." Paige could see that she's affecting Leo, 'Maybe these two aren't really hopeless as I thought.' Paige said to herself. "Now tell me, what's this thing going on with you and Phoebe?"

"Well, truth is I did it because Piper asked me to." Leo said.

"She what?" Paige was surprised.

"She said that if I really love her, I should love Phoebe. But I just… I just can't do it. I can't love Phoebe. I love Piper so much. And every time I see her smiling and flirting with those guys, it just… destroys me. I did it to make Piper jealous, to make her come back to me." Leo revealed.

Paige was happy with Leo's proclamation of love, but not about what Piper did. 'She always put everyone's interest at the top of her list. She did this for Phoebe, that could be a reason.' Paige thought. "Leo you have to end this thing you're trying to pull off with Phoebe. I can see it's killing you, and Piper. Also, it's unfair to Phoebe."

Even though Paige disliked Phoebe, she's still Piper's sister, and if it were her in Phoebe's place it would also devastate her to know that the guy she likes used her to get to his real love.

"I know, I don't want to hurt her too. It's just… I was too broken to think clearly at the time. I mean, the girl I love just rejected me right when I was ready to forgive her and get her back and it hurts so much, so I did it." Leo explained with distress.

"I understand." Paige comforted Leo. "And now you have to fix it."

"I will." Leo said with conviction.

"Good. Now I have to go. I'm already late for my class." Paige glimpsed at her watch. "God, this relationship is already affecting my academic performance." Paige joked as she prepared to leave.

"Paige!" Leo called.

"Hmm?" Paige asked innocently.

"Thank you." Leo said and surprised Paige with a fierce hug.

"Ok. You're crushing me, Leo." Paige's voice was muffled by Leo's shoulder.

"Sorry." Leo apologized as he put some distance between them. For the first time in weeks, Paige saw a genuine smile on Leo's face.

"It's okay. Playing Cupid's my part-time job." Paige winked and left Leo smiling.

Everything's clear to him now. He will fix everything between him and Phoebe. Then, he will get Piper back, and this time, she won't have any say in it. Because he will pursue her whether she like it or not. She will be stuck with him. He will accept no reason from her.

'Now that's a good plan.' Leo was happy, and clear-headed.

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