Please Be Careful With My Heart
Disclaimer: 'Charmed' is not mine. I just love it so much so I did this. So, please don't sue me.
TVCrazed - that's a HUGE compliment, thank you! mwah!
ColleenietheBroadwayBaby- thank you so much for loving my story! it's means so much to me. :)
charmedsoccerfanmich - (grins) awww! thank you!
JTiger- proper brilliant huh? wow, it makes my heart jump!
PIPER LOVES LEO 1701 - can't promise you that! you just have to read and find out what I'm gonna do with her. anyway, thanks for the applause.
heather1021 - it's a pleasure for me to make you cry!
Happybear 2005 - thanks! here's the update you've been waitin' for!
Amber-and-Ben-Forever - thank you so much! yes, they finally kissed. I'm happy that you cried! that doesn't sound good, huh? well, thanks a lot!
Alyssa Halliwell - thanks, you too! hope you get carried away with this one too!
Piper xox Leo - thanks you so much! You're one of my favorite writers! yeah!
Charmed-150 - You reviewed the last 3 chapters! I love you! ; ) The reason why you didn't receive any updates or reviews from me because those months of not updating, I've been away from the cyberspace the whole time! I never got the chance to visit the net! I kinda 'hibernated' for awhile. I'm sorry : ( Oh and now you're 150 hope they could reach 200 or more!
Chapter 22
After the check-up…
Piper walked through a series of shops. She loved those moments when she could ponder on everything and anything. So noisy yet so quiet. Different kinds of people walking down the streets. Surrounded by lots of people yet still feel isolated.
She saw an ice cream stand and went to buy one for herself. She remembered the last time she enjoyed ice cream. It was when Leo and I were still together. 'When things were so much easier', he said. I don't even know why he's wasting his time on me. Why me? Because he needed me... or so he'd said. It's funny that she agreed to talk to him to finally put closure in their relationship but ended up asking him to give her time to think. Why did she let him hold on to something that was bound to end anytime soon, anyway? It was the kiss, I know it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by an arguing couple.
"Honey, do you know how much calories and sugar are in there?" The guy said referring to the ice cream his girlfriend was enjoying.
"Oh, come on!" The girl said with exasperation.
"Oh and that bacon n' egg sandwich. Do you know how much cholesterol is in there, that's bad for the heart?"
"JASON. You know what? In order to die, you have to live first. And you cannot live life without splurging yourself to ice cream occasionally. It's a guilty pleasure. Another thing, this is bacon n' egg whole wheat bread sandwich. It's good." Then the girl had a big bite of it.
In order to die, you have to live first. And 'living' to me means loving Leo. Now that I think about it, I haven't really lived before I met him. I was just counting the days, taking it all in. I don't even understand how I survived that chapter of my life without him in it.
Piper found a gift shop with lots of interesting items. She went in and checked it out. She was so glad she brought her savings with her. There were many cute things, she couldn't decide what to buy.
TIME LAPSE
At the cemetery…
"Hey mom!" She knelt sat down Indian style and offered flowers to her mother. "I'm sorry, I haven't visited you that much often anymore. So many things have happened." Then she told everything to her mother, talked as if her mother was actually there. Told her about Grams, Prue and Phoebe (at least the good things) and her best friend, Paige, and every gift she bought for them. She told her about Leo too.
"He's a really great guy, mom, you will totally get along with him, that's for sure." She smiled and imagined what could have been. "I truly love him, everything about him is perfect. But I feel like I don't deserve him. He said he loves me… but- I don't want him to get hurt. I don't want to be the cause of pain to anyone. I've done that one too many times." She paused and pondered for a moment.
"Remember when you… left?" Piper could still see everything vividly in her mind. The replay of events. "Dad couldn't cope with it. For weeks he was restless and lost, like you brought a very vital part of him with you when you died. Then 2 months later, he couldn't take it anymore, he just walked out. He said that every time he looks at us three, he sees you. He was really devastated."
"What if- what if that happened too, to Leo and I? I don't want him to ruin his life because of me. Though he keeps saying that he wants to be there with me through everything, they're just words. It's easier said than done. I don't want him feeling tied and trapped, and regret why he chose to be with me, in the end."
"On the other hand, I feel stronger when I'm with him. Like… I could go through anything unscathed because I know that he will always be there when I needed to heal."
"Please help me Mom. Guide me. Help me do the right thing." She whispered as she touched her mom's engraved name on the tombstone.
- 000 -
Prue was in her room doing her homework, earphones attached to her ears.
Outside, Piper knocked on Prue's door. "Prue?" Knocked again. "Prue, it's me. Can I come in?" she asked quietly. Piper was afraid that Prue might still be mad at her, she's been cold as ice, not to mention- rude to her sister ever since she decided to change her image. 'Can't blame her. Even I will be mad at me.' she thought. 'Maybe she's asleep, well, I'll just check and find out.' Then she quietly opened the door.
Prue was startled when she looked by the door, and there was Piper- minus the make-up, stilettos and miniskirts. 'She's so pale, looks so weak. I should have noticed this. Maybe that's why she kept putting on those make-up, to cover this up.' Prue thought as she studied Piper from head to toe.
Piper mistaken Prue's look of scrutiny for irritation. "I'm sorry, I thought you were asleep- I just went in to check. Sorry." Then she opened the door to leave the room.
"Wait! Don't go." Prue exclaimed. Piper turned around but remained by the door.
Prue put aside her CD player and her homework on the floor to clear the bed. She arranged her pillows and put one on her lap for Piper, looked at her baby sister and smiled with warmth.
Piper walked quietly, crawled to Prue, curled up and rested her head on her sister's lap, for several minutes there were no words as Prue lovingly stroked Piper's hair with her right hand, while Piper clutched the other. The silence was broken by Piper's quiet sobs. Prue could feel her sister's grasp tightening then loosening after every breath. She kissed Piper's temple, then whispered, "I love you".
Piper choked back a sob and said softly, "I love you, Prue." Then she sat beside Prue.
Prue watched Piper clear her tears away. Piper couldn't look at Prue straight. "I'm sorry." she just whispered. "I was horrible to you, and still- here you are soothing me."
Prue in reply just reached for Piper's hand.
"How could you forgive me after everything I've done to you?" Piper asked.
"I don't forgive you."
Piper stiffed and looked up at her sister and found her smiling.
"I was never mad at you. I understand that you were going through something, and you want to face it alone. I get that." Prue explained. "If you believe you can do it on your own, I'll let you." Then she noticed that her sister was wandering in her own pool of thoughts again, she cupped Piper's face and looked at her sister's eyes- eyes that have lost their sparkles. "But the moment you sense that you need help, I'm always here. Don't you ever- ever hesitate to come to me. If you don't… then I'll get mad at you." Then she enveloped Piper in her arms, brushed her hair and let her cry. "I don't want to be in the dark when it comes to you. Just tell me, I'll back off, just don't push me away again like you did." Prue said over Piper's soft sobs and whimpers, as she started crying too and kissed Piper's head. "You're my baby."
Their cries have stopped, but they stayed like that, both holding on to each other, drawing strength from each other.
Piper broke the silence with, "I have to do the surgery."
"What?" Prue asked as she looked at Piper at an arm's length and helped her brushed away the tears. Then she waited for Piper to continue.
"The doctor said as soon as possible, right?"
"But-" Prue started.
"No, just hear me out." Piper interrupted, then she sighed deeply. "I have to, we are fighting with time here." Prue was happy when Piper said 'we'. "I really think it's about time I face this, and just get it over with. Plus, the more we try to put this off, the more complicated it gets. I don't want to get to the point wherein I won't have a choice anymore, when it's too late."
Piper saw uncertainty on Prue's face. "And I know that I can get through it just fine because you're here." Then she flashed a bright smile to reassure Prue. "And Grams and Paige and hopefully Phoebe and maybe… Leo." The last one came by as a whisper but still caught Prue's ears as if Piper shouted it.
"Leo?" Prue was curious and at the same time very pleased.
"Well…" Then Piper told her about Leo and their talk.
"So… what did you say to him?" Prue was actually rooting for Leo. She thinks that he's good for her sister.
"I asked for time. To let me think about everything."
"What are you planning to do?"
Piper sighed. "I'll tell him about what we've decided about this. Then I'll tell him to wait until he sees me after that surgery, to choose whether he'll stay with me or not. At least then, he'll have a way out. If he chooses to bail out, well… I can't stop him."
It was Prue's turn to sigh. "I think you've made your choice and got everything planned. What can I say? I'll just be with you all the way. About Leo, if he decides to walk out, I'll beat him up first before he even make his first step." Prue laughed and hugged Piper.
"Thank you, Prue. For everything." Piper whispered.
"Hey, don't talk like that, we have a long way and lots of years ahead of us for that 'thank you' speech." Prue smiled with Piper.
"By the way, thanks for the outfit you gave me. I didn't know you had it in you to pull something like that." Prue joked. "And where did you learn to apply make-up like that? They're good as if done by a pro!"
"From you, silly. I always watch you get ready for every date, remember?" Piper laughed with Prue then she remembered her trip to the gift shop. "Oh, I want to show you some things." Then she pulled Prue up from the bed, out of the room and to hers.
Prue was so happy to see this Piper's side again, it's been so long since she had seen her sister so carefree and cheerful. Prue just laughed and smiled as Piper kept on ranting about every little thing she bought for them.
I hope to see this everyday. Even after the surgery. Please, I'll never asked for anything again. Prue prayed.
- 000 -
After bonding and chatting in Piper's room, Prue and Piper came down to the sunroom and told Grams about Piper's decision. Thankfully, Grams was very supportive but at the same time afraid of what might happen and what her granddaughters would have to face.
Then they heard the front door open indicating that Phoebe had finally come home. Apparently, she had been at Missy's the night before and the whole time that day.
Grams welcomed her and saw that Phoebe's eyes are puffy from crying. "What's the matter honey?" Grams put her arms around Phoebe.
"Grams I'm tired, I just want to rest." Phoebe started.
"Ok. But this won't take long, we just have to tell you something important." Then Grams lead her to where Prue and Piper were. Phoebe was curious.
Then she found her sisters curled up on the couch. Grams release her and went to Piper and held her hand. "Your sister decided to undergo the heart surgery. So-"
Phoebe's eyebrows slammed together. Why does everything have to be about her? "Like hell I care." She said in a low voice full of venom.
Grams released a large gasp at that. She had never seen this side of Phoebe ever since her mom's death. She thought that Phoebe had moved on from that and from her anger towards Piper. Now, she could see the flame was still there.
To hell with this act. I can't take this anymore. Phoebe thought. This has to be laid open.
"Even if she decides to undergo an autopsy, I don't care!" Phoebe was fuming. "And you!" She pointed to Piper. "I know what you did, what you told Leo to do! Who are you to treat other people like puppets? WHO! To tell you the truth, it hurts. So much! To be rejected like that. It hurts." Phoebe was in tears as she pointed to her heart at word 'hurts'. She was on the verge of breaking down but she's not gonna stop. She forced a smile. "Of course, you don't know how it feels. Because you're always the one loved by everyone, liked by everyone. You don't know." She whispered the last sentence as she shook her head.
Piper just wanted to disappear from there. She couldn't take Phoebe's anger, and she couldn't handle seeing her baby sister like that. Broken. Knowing that she was the one who caused it. She just want to capture Phoebe in an embrace but knew for sure that Phoebe will just push her away. She cried for her sister. "Phoebe, I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong to her." Prue said sternly then glared at Phoebe.
Grams was confused and distressed by what she was seeing. 'What's happening? How could I have missed this? How could I not notice?' Grams thought. "Phoebe-" Grams tried to calm her down.
"WHAT?" Phoebe glared at Grams and Prue. "Siding with her again, I see." Phoebe was full of rage, she just couldn't stop exploding. "As usual." she added with a shrugged of her shoulders.
"And you," she glowered at Piper. "You like this don't you? They're always to the rescue when it comes to you." Piper was shaking her head while fresh tears slid down her cheeks. She was struggling for breath. "Oh, you're gonna cry again? Force an attack again? That's what you do best, you know that? Make yourself pitiful. Just because you're sick doesn't mean you're always the victim. The damsel in distress?" Phoebe continued ranting while Prue and Grams tried to calm Piper.
"You always take everything and everyone from me. I WISH YOU DEAD!" Phoebe yelled.
Prue's head snapped at that. From the moment Phoebe started talking, she had been restraining herself to smash Phoebe for Piper's sake. But the last one was too much. She couldn't let Phoebe get away with that. She stood up and walked closer to Phoebe while Grams soothed Piper.
"Take it back." Prue vehemently. "What you said, take it back." She was threatening Phoebe.
In response, Phoebe just looked at her.
"I said Take. It. Back." Prue was raving mad.
Phoebe was starting to get scared at Prue but stood her ground. "NO!" Then she made a fast trip up the stairs to her room.
Prue went after Phoebe, she was not going to let her get away with it just like that. She entered Phoebe's room. "If you think you're getting away with this, think again."
"Get out of my room." Phoebe was sitting on her bed glaring up at Prue.
Prue just crossed her arms across her chest.
"I said get out!" Phoebe tried to push Prue out of the door, but instead Prue her back to the bed.
They were both breathing heavily and scowling at each other, not losing the eye contact.
"You know why not many people love you? You don't deserve it. Your attitude is rougher than an asphalt. You take the people who love you for granted. You take us for granted. Most of all, you take Piper for granted." Prue thought it was time that someone shakes Phoebe back to reality.
Phoebe couldn't look at Prue. She couldn't show Prue that she's affecting her.
"Yes! Piper loves you. She loves you so much, and I can't even see why. When you don't deserve it with the way you treat her. She gave up Leo because she knew you like him. She wants you to be happy. She gave up her own happiness for the sake of yours."
Phoebe was cowering in front of Prue.
"If you can't even see that? Then you're hopeless." Prue turned her back on Phoebe and started for the door to leave but not before saying without looking back, "You think no one loves you but the truth is you don't want to be loved." Then she closed the door and back to the sister who needed every support she can get.
Phoebe was left alone in her room. She had never felt more alone and wasted. She was telling herself over and over again that it was not true. What Prue said, they're not true. She wasn't going to let what Prue said faze her. Nothing will.
- 000 -
A/N: brace yourselves for the following chapters, things will get ugly.
now, please review. thanks!