Dear Diary,
I'm absolutely FURIOUS! These bloody incompetent dumbasses let the Rebels steal our super-secret plans for the Death Star. This is rather inconvenient, and now I'm going to have to be the one to set things right. You can't trust anyone to do things right these days. Bloody idiots!
So, I and some other guys went after this Rebel ship today, in pursuit of the stolen plans. We blew that shit up, it was fantastic. I enjoyed it a lot. I even got to choke some dudes, I had a blast. We tried to get some information out of them, but they kept saying they had no idea what I was talking about. Why can't people just be honest?!
We took Princess Leia prisoner. She denied it, but I know she's part of the Rebel alliance. She can't fool me. But I like her. She's got spirit. I respect that. I felt kinda weird, looking at her, but I can't quite put my finger on why. This is gonna annoy me forever… Ugh. Anyway, I'm still gonna kill her eventually.
We didn't find the plans though, which is a problem. They weren't in the computer, and apparently they weren't transmitted either, so I'm stuck… Well, almost stuck. An escape pod was released, which easily could have had those bloody plans on it. But these incompetent nincompoops let it get away. I'm so sick of having to clean up their messes. As much as I would love to, I can't single-handedly handle every little mishap. But I enjoy choking the losers that fuck things up.
Now I gotta go track down those plans before things get out of hand.
Vader