Amy slid into the creaky old chair behind the worn wooden desk that she used to find her mother sitting at for hours in the evening updating her client log and adding notes to the journals Amy now used to carry on the work Marion began that gave Heartland its legacy. So many times Amy sat there and tried to see through her mother's eyes when she was doubting herself and her abilities to cure a horse or even deal with her own life problems. She'd barely been fifteen when her mother died which left so little time for her to receive those life lessons and advice only a mother could give. Amy couldn't count the times she desperately wished Marion were still alive to guide her in the right direction or give her answers she eventually found after taking the long way around. She couldn't help but think so many of the mistakes or poor choices she made and now deeply regretted could have been avoided if only she'd been able to turn to and confide in her mother. Of course she had Lou and her grandfather, but even Lou admitted that there were some things only a mother knew.
Staring at the cover of her own client log, Amy was once again wishing her mother were there now. Maybe she wouldn't have opened up to her either if she wouldn't even do it with her husband, but she was still feeling Marion's absence a lot more now than she had in a while. She didn't understand why she reacted the way she had to Chloe when before Amy had all the patience in the world when it came to helping a horse.
Sighing, Amy open the journal to the very bare page she reserved for Chloe's progress, having only the client's contact number and what the horse was being treated for written down at the top. Reaching for the phone, Amy called the mare's owner, Sutton Daniels, hoping to maybe come up with some missing information to help her better figure out how to work with the horse.
Unfortunately after a short conversation, Amy wasn't any further than she'd been before. In fact, she might have taken a small step backward when Ms. Daniels became concerned that Amy wouldn't be able to help her horse. The woman knew about the accident that happened the day Chloe arrived, but didn't seem to realize that Amy hadn't had the opportunity to even begin working with Chloe until today. She wasn't really supposed to be, but losing a client wasn't something they could afford, especially now.
Dropping her head in her hands, Amy stared down at her journal trying to make sense of Chloe and her own actions today, but her mind began to drift elsewhere. To the morning the horse arrived when she and Ty had been on their way to Calgary for the ultrasound.
Slowly, Amy's mind grew fuzzy as her eyes fell shut and her head began to weigh on her arms, slipping between them and nearly hitting the desk until she jumped awake. Rubbing her face, the fatigue pressed down on her. Her body felt like dead weight in the chair. She wanted to go up to the house, or even the loft, to take a nap, but couldn't get herself to wake up enough to move. Instead, she curled her arms on the desk to use as a pillow, dropping her head on them and again shutting her eyes, for once welcoming the darkness.
"Amy." Jack nudged her arm a while later, surprised to find her passed out on the desk, but not so surprised she ended up showing up at the ranch that day. Like everyone else, he knew she wouldn't be able to stay home and rest for long.
Amy jolted awake, lifting her head and blinking a few times to clear her sleepy vision to see Jack standing in the office. "Shouldn't you be home?" Jack asked, reaching for the phone that Amy had been laying on.
"I can't sit at home. At least here I feel a little more useful," she replied groggily, rubbing her eyes and still trying to get her vision to clear. Maybe taking more of those painkillers had been a bad idea. Her eyes were still heavy and her head hazy, but she forced herself to sit up and look at her grandfather.
"Does Ty know you're here?" Jack asked.
Amy shrugged. "Probably. If he knows me at all. I'd bet that's why Caleb was lurking around."
"Caleb was here? All day?" Amy nodded in response. "He was supposed to be out checking those fences. We had cows wandering along the side of the road. Where is he?"
"He went to Maggie's for lunch. He should be back any minute." Amy stood from the chair, blinking hard as the office started to spin. She reached out to steady herself on the desk, rubbing her temple with one hand.
"You okay?" Jack placed a steadying hand on her shoulder, a look of concern erasing the one of annoyance.
Amy nodded. "I'm fine. Just got up too fast." She looked up when the room slowed to a stop, training her eyes on the first thing that remained stationary. Her head spinning made her feel nauseous.
"Maybe you should go up to the house and rest. Lou has some leftover pot roast in the fridge if you're hungry."
At the mention of food Amy took a deep breath, but nodded anyway. "Yeah. I am pretty tired. That medication the doctors gave me is pretty strong stuff."
Jack reached out to stop his granddaughter when she moved to walk around him, studying her carefully. "You be careful with that stuff, okay? Remember what happened with your dad and Caleb." Jack warned, his serious gaze unrelenting.
"Grandpa. It's not like that. Besides, I only need to take it for the next couple of weeks. It's just more than I'm used to. I'm fine. I promise." Standing on her toes, Amy left a gentle peck on his cheek.
"Uh, hang on a sec. Have you talked to Ty yet about the… you know."
Amy paused on her way out the door, turning around slowly with her eyes lowered to the floor. After a moment's hesitation she met his gaze. "Not yet. He wants to, but I'm… I'm not sure that I'm ready yet. I've talked to him about that much, at least. He understands that it'll come up when I'm ready to… to face it." She swallowed, her eyes falling away from her grandfather as she once again started to fight the burning threat of tears.
Jack studied his granddaughter, nodding after a moment. "Okay," he started softly. "Because you know the rest of us are worried about you. We just want to make sure you're going to get through this okay. What you went through… well, it's not something that you just bounce back from."
"I know, Grandpa. We'll get through it. Promise." Giving him a soft reassuring smile, Amy was quick to leave the barn and head toward the house, but upon seeing Lou and Peter's SUV in the driveway, turned back around and climbed into her truck. Going inside would mean another heavy discussion that she wasn't sure she wanted to face. Reversing the truck from in front of the barn, Amy spun it around to head back down the driveway, tapping the brake when she was facing the ranch house. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Amy stared at it hard, a lump lodging itself in her throat. She didn't want to go back to the trailer – that was the whole reason she came back to Heartland. After taking a few slow, deep breaths, Amy maneuvered the truck over to park in front of the house.