"Didn't you just say not a minute ago you didn't want me doing anything that could get me hurt again?" Amy asked as Ty laced his fingers together to offer her a leg up into Spartan's saddle.
"Yes, but what I meant was I didn't want you doing them alone. Without supervision and someone to intervene. Unless you want to put Spartan away and go home…" Ty shrugged and stepped back, willing to honor his wife's wishes if she really did want to heed his request despite his willingness to bend it.
Without another word, Amy turned and folded her leg up for him to gently toss her aboard the gelding. She was surprised, however, that not a moment later he was sticking his own foot into the stirrup and swinging up behind her. "What are you doing?"
"I told you: we're going for a ride." Reaching his arms around her, Ty gathered the reins himself and urged Spartan forward, keeping it to a walk as not to jar Amy's healing ribs, but she did that on her own when she laughed in disbelief after glancing over her shoulder at her husband.
They rode in silence for a time on the trails until they opened onto a wide expanse of plain, the snow-capped Rockies towering above them in every direction. The quiet was peaceful and calming, leaving them both the chance to take a breath of fresh air and admire the scenery. But it only lasted for so long before Amy's mind started to work again. "I take it there's a reason we're out here."
"There is." Ty answered simply, but offered nothing more than that at first, making Amy wonder if he was just playing games with her and waiting for her to guess. "What do you think of the Grand Canyon?"
Amy frowned in confusion. "Uh… it's hot there this time of year?"
Ty chuckled. "I mean, would you like to go there?"
She didn't understand what Ty was getting at, but just went along with it hoping he'd elaborate. "I guess. Sure. I hear it's a beautiful place. Why are you asking me about Arizona?" Amy tried to keep herself from shifting to look over her shoulder at Ty, not wanting to put any strain on her side.
"Our first anniversary is coming up soon. I was thinking maybe we could take a road trip. Get away for a week or so. Relax. Soak up the desert sun and play tourist for a while. What do you think?" They needed to get away. It wasn't really a matter of going for the sake of going, but more of a revival. A chance for them to break away from the stressful events of the last few months, regroup, and return home ready to tackle the next new adventure of their lives. But they needed that transition away from home, where their heads were clearer and their worries far behind them. Ty was ready to make that move, but he just needed to make sure Amy was with him.
Amy didn't take long to consider the idea. "I think we should go."
"Yeah?" Ty tilted his head to look at her face to ensure she was serious.
"Yeah. We've been saying we were going to get away for a while now and something always comes up that keeps us here. So, let's go, Ty. Let's go tomorrow." Amy could feel the excitement building at the thought of the long hours on the road with just her husband, no responsibilities other than to each other and nothing to do except talk. They were finally getting back to their old selves after Amy's accident and their grief drew them apart, but the chance to get to know one another again was one worth taking.
"Whoa, tomorrow? Are you sure?" Ty anticipated Amy agreeing to the trip, but he didn't expect her to dive onto it as enthusiastically as she was, willing to just drop everything and take off without any plan except the destination. He admitted the thought was appealing to him, being that adventurous type himself, but it was even more so that his wife was the one to suggest it.
Amy nodded her head firmly. "Absolutely. Chloe is leaving in the morning and once she's gone I won't have any clients left. So let's do this now before things get too busy and it gets postponed - again. My dad was right, Ty. We've been waiting too long for things to fall into the right places. It's time we make them go where and how we want to, no matter the consequences. Let's go to Arizona. Enjoy ourselves, then when we get back start seriously looking into ranches in full force. If we find one, we put a bid on it without worrying about the cost. If we want it, we'll find a way to pay for it. No more stalling, or waiting. We're going to make this happen. And we're going to do it our way." She used to believe that when things were meant to happen they would. If they waited patiently - bided their time - the right ranch would fall into their laps and all of their plans would be put into motion. Things never worked out that way and after witnessing just how her life could fall apart, Amy was done waiting. She was ready to start grabbing life by the horns and making things happen the way she and Ty always wanted them to.
Ty was both surprised and proud of how eagerly Amy embraced this plan, latching on and running with it with this fresh new determination he hadn't seen her have in a long time. He knew how driven she could be, how tunnel-visioned she tended to get when trying to help a horse in need. It made it difficult for her to see the whole picture, but this time it was about their future. Having it right there in their hands and watching it slip away in an instant changed them both and maybe for the better. Losing their child would haunt them probably for the rest of their lives, even when, or if, they had another later on down the road to fulfill that dream of theirs. But it only made their dream that much clearer to see it begin to unfold for the briefest of moments.
"Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" Ty teased her lightheartedly, leaning down to kiss her neck.
Amy laughed softly. "I don't know I just… I feel different. Like something… shifted." Her smiled began to fade. "We've lost so much these last few months and almost each other. I don't want that to happen again."
Pulling Spartan to a halt, Ty let the reins drop behind the saddle horn to slip his arms around Amy's middle, hugging her tenderly to his chest. "You won't ever lose me. I can promise you that." He nuzzled into her neck, brushing her blonde hair aside to leave a kiss at her nape. "You know I'd do anything for you. Even if that means taking money from your dad so we can hold onto our future." As much as Ty believed Tim was honest with his offer and it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass, he still cringed at the idea of Tim having something like that to hang over his head.
Leaning back against Ty, Amy folded her arms over top of his that were wrapped around her. "There's something else I think we should talk about while we're discussing our future plans," Amy began slowly, a heaviness befalling her tone that made Ty remove his lips and watch her closely. It took Amy a moment to take a breath and continue, but when she did it was with a strain in her voice as she suppressed new tears. "Losing our baby the way we did made me so afraid of the thought of trying again. Not only because of the possibility of it happening again but because I thought I'd feel so guilty, like I was just trying to replace what we lost with another one. I don't want it to be like that, Ty. I want to move on, but… I don't want to just go on to forget about that baby or pretend it never existed. Because it did, Ty. We saw it, heard it's little heart beating. It was ours and any child we might have in the future won't be our first, but our second. I want to do something to acknowledge it, to put it to rest so I can put my heart to rest with it. Then, maybe, once I'm healed and we have our new home, we can start trying again."
At the moment the thought of trying again was a little bit too much for Amy to think about. The scars left behind from losing their first were still fresh and her body still on the mend from the trauma it endured - both physical and mental. While she was on the positive side of recovery, it was still going to be a slow process to fully heal. She still wanted children and a family with Ty - that would never change. It was just going to take some time for her to be completely ready, and that was something Ty understood without a word because he felt similarly and when Amy voiced her desire to have some kind of memorial for their lost child, Ty agreed it was something they needed to do, to give them all the closure they needed.
"That sounds like a good idea. I don't want to dismiss this like another bump in the road, either. I still want to build that life with you but I know we're not ready to really think about trying again and we don't have to right now. So, whatever you want to do, we'll do it. I'm with you, Amy. Through all of it. And when you're ready, we'll take the next step." Leaning around his wife, Ty lifted his arm to brush her chin, turning her head to gently meet his lips.