Dear Lord, I have these re-occuring dreams. Every time I close my eyes I see a time of a happy childhood. A time when everything was perfect. In my dreams I can see a younger version of myself about 10 years old. I smile fondly at this scene in front of me because as I witness what is happening I can feel the soft touch of a much smaller hand in mine. Tears prick my eyes, but I do not let them fall. I cannot let them fall. The touch grows stronger and it as if the hand is in my hand right now. Isabella, my baby sister. A sister who was so innocent, so beautiful and happy.
Little did I know she would become the first pawn in my ambitious plans in later years nor did I realise how much I would hurt her just to benefit myself. It would be later on that I would become a selfish man. A man and a brother who she would come to hate, come to loathe. But, my Lord I do not wish to dwell on that right now. There will be time for that later on. Now all I want is to rest my mind on the scene in front of me. A scene where both she and I were happy. A time where Isabella and I used to love being with each other. Back then we were siblings who fought, yet still loved each other. Siblings who did almost everything together and got up to mischief when our parents were not looking.
As I recollect my childhood memories, I remember one very special day. A day when my life changed for the better. It was late summer and the trees were starting to change to different hues of red. I was about 8 years old playing in the fields when my father told me that he and my mother had a surprise for me. At the time I didn't know what to expect as I knew it wasn't my birthday so curious I followed my father back to Gisborne Manor. Reaching the house, father stopped suddenly turned around and placed both his hands on my shoulders.
"Guy, I need you to promise me that you will be a big boy."
I nodded. "Yes, Father."
He led me up the stairs to the bed chamber where my mother was. As I entered I saw her sitting up with a small bundle in her arms. At first I was confused. I didn't know what my mother was holding. It wasn't until she spoked to me that I understood what my father meant when he said I had to be a big boy. My mother smiled at me. Cautiously I approached the bed uncertain of what to do when I got there. But, as I looked down, in her arms I saw my sister for the first time. I smiled. She was so cute and I fell in love with her immediately. My father walked over and placed me next to my mother and baby sister. Once comfortable, my mother placed my sister in my arms. I gently took hold of her and smiled down at her.
"Guy, this is your little sister, Isabella. I want you to promise me that no matter what happens you will always be there for her. Always look after her."
"Yes, mama."
Bending down, I gave my sister a kiss on her small forehead and as I kissed her, she smiled and grabbed my finger with her tiny hand. I laughed and wrapped my hand around hers even tighter. I looked up at both my parents. I could see that they were proud of me. Proud of the big brother I was going to be.
"I think she likes me" I said to my parents.
"That she does, Guy." My father replied. "And like your mama said, it is your duty to protect her."
I looked back at Isabella and said, "Don't worry, Father. I promise with all my heart that I will never let anything happen to her. If anyone hurts her they will have me to answer to."
My father gave a chuckle and ruffled my hair. He then proceeded to tell me that it was time to leave my mother and sister alone for a while. He said they needed to rest. Reluctantly I gave my sister back to my mother and dragged my feet, following my father as we left the room.
The next few years were blissful. Isabella was a lively child, one who was always running around. It was nice to have a sister like Isabella. She always knew how to make me laugh whenever I was feeling down, always knew how to make me calm whenever I was angry and was just always there for me. Even though she was 8 years younger than me, she was the strong one. She was the one who gave me the courage and confidence to be myself. Wherever I would go I knew Isabella wasn't too far behind. I could always know she was behind me because of her laugh. She tried to pretend that she wasn't following me but, I knew every time I heard her laugh she was there. I was never annoyed. It was great having Isabella with me. I remember once when I was 10 and she was 8 we were playing in the fields, running around.
"Guy!" Isabella shouted. "Come and get me." She then giggled and ran off.
I ran after her. She was fast but, I soon caught up with her and as I ran up to her I grabbed her around the waist and tackled her to the ground.
"Caught you." I said as she giggled.
Hearing her giggle put a smile on my face and whenever she giggled it made me realise just how lucky I was to have a sister like her.
"Get off me, Guy!" Isabella said as she tried to contain her laughter. I pretended to be upset.
"Why? I thought you were having fun. I was having fun." I said.
"Yes, well now it's my turn." she said as I helped her up.
"You can't tackle me, Isabella. I'm too strong for you."
"No, you're not." she smiled. And before I knew what was happening I had my breath taken out of me as Isabella ran towards me. She and I toppled onto the grass with Isabella on top of me. It took me a while to get my brother back. However, I wasn't angry. Once I'd got my breath back I started to laugh and Isabella laughed too.
"See. I told you so" she grinned.
Before she and I could charge off again, we heard our mother call us.
"Guy, Isabella, it's time to come back inside." she said in her French accent.
"But, mama!" Isabella whined.
"Don't 'but, mama' me, young lady. Come inside, it's getting dark." she said to Isabella.
"Come, Isabella. If we go now perhaps mama will let us play again tomorrow." I whispered in my sister's ear. She smiled at me. I smiled back and took her hand in mine.
When we reached the door, our mother did not look happy and we wondered why. Isabella and I quickly went inside before our mother could tell us off. Once we were inside, our mother looked at us and then at our clothes. They were dirty from when we tackled each other to the ground.
"Look at your clothes. They are filthy. And your dress, Isabella, it's ruined. Guy, you should know better then to let your sister ruin her clothes." Mother scolded us.
I cast my eyes down to the floor. But, Isabella tugged at my hand and told our mother, "Do not be angry at Guy, mama. It wasn't his fault. We were only playing and then I knocked Guy down on the grass. He was only trying to get me off him."
Our mother turned to my sister, " Isabella, do not make excuses for your brother. He should know better. He is old enough."
My sister was about to answer back when my mother stopped her and told her to go to her chambers while she had a talk with me. It was during this conversation that my father returned back from Nottingham. He saw how angry my mother was and saw the look on my face. I did not want to talk to him, so I headed upstairs to the chambers I shared with Isabella. From our chambers, Isabella and I could hear our parents having a conversation.
"Guy should know better then to let Isabella get her clothes dirty." Mother said.
"Ghislaine," said my father "they were only having fun. They are children."
"Whether they are children or not, their clothes are expensive and it is a waste of money if they get ruined like they have done."
"I'm sure they have learnt their lesson. And as for the expense for the clothes, we have enough money."
After that we heard nothing. Staying in my chambers and feeling guilty about what I did, I sat down on my bed with a heavy sigh. Isabella saw how upset I was so she walked over to my bed and sat down next to me.
"It's not your fault, Guy. We both knew what we were doing."
"But, mama is right. I should know better. I am older than you."
"We were only having fun. No one got hurt."
I looked up at her. She was right, of course. No one did get hurt and we were only playing. I smiled at her. After that we both headed downstairs.
The scene disappears and I am transported back to the present. A sad smile spreads across my face as I remember. We were so happy back then. Nothing was ever boring. I always had my sister there to keep life entertaining. I close my eyes again but, this time to a new memory. One which is precious.