So this is chapter 4, by now I hope you are possibly as invested in this book as I am but I don't know. I don't know if anyone is reading it. If you are, drop me a line. It doesn't have to be much. You could just say "I'm reading your book, yo!" –NL

A Rough Trip

By the time we got to the campground it was very near daybreak. I had fallen asleep with my head leaning against the door. When Nate opened the door, I nearly fell out and he had to catch me. He cradled me in his arms as Ian had done so many times before. Ian came around the side of the truck just in time to see Nate scoop me up. As Nate turned with me in his arms, Ian blocked his path. He wasn't angry and when he spoke he was almost begging. "Please, Nate, let me take her?"

Nate whispered in my ear, "walking through fire" before he handed me off to Ian. I was exhausted but I wasn't ready to give up the fight.

"Ian, put me down!" I whined.

The others were setting up camp laying down tarps and putting sleeping bags on top. He went to the first bag he found and laid me on top of it. I was asleep within minutes.

When I woke, it was mid afternoon. Almost everyone was up and moving. The only people still asleep were those of us who had ridden in the front of each vehicle; Burns, Jared, Nate, myself, and Ian who obviously hadn't gotten any sleep in the van. Ian was next to me in his sprawled out position. It brought back fond memories. He must have wrapped himself around me to go to sleep since I was too gone to stop him. Nate was on my other side curled up in a ball. Burns was next to Nate. Jared was way down the other end by himself. Melanie had obviously gotten up without disturbing him. I lay back down. I felt comfy. I rolled with my back towards Nate and I watched Ian sleep. He looked like my Ian again. Then I heard Nate groan and stretch behind me and then he threw his arm around me and crept closer, spooning me. He fit comfortably because we were closer in size than Ian and I was. He whispered into my hair.

"Ahhh, this is the life."

I put my arm over his and twisted my head in his direction. "You're silly. You know that?"

He retaliated. "Hey, a man can dream can't he?" He put his cheek on mine. "Mmmmm, I could get used to this."

This was getting out of control. His charm was inviting. "In your dreams, Dude!" I giggled.

He tickled me and I squealed. I flipped in his arms to tickle him back.

My squeal woke Ian and he saw Nate with his arm around me. He saw us playing around. "What the hell are you doing? Get your paws off of her!" He was scrambling to his feet ready to fight Nate.

Nate scooted back from my body. "Hey, it was just in good fun. I didn't mean any harm."

Ian was sizing up Nate. Burns was now waking up from the commotion. This could be really bad I thought to myself. I needed to diffuse the situation. I got up and put myself between Ian and Nate just as I had done so many months ago with Kyle and Jared. The same day Ian nearly strangled me to death. I had no fear of Ian now. I pushed him in his chest as hard as I could. He didn't budge. I pushed him again as I screamed at him.

"Ian, back off!" I pushed him again. He took a step back but he didn't take his eyes off Nate.

"I'll kill you." Ian said as he waved his fist at him.

I slapped Ian in the face. This was the second time in twenty four hours that I had slapped him. As a soul this was something that went against my grain. "You have no right to threaten anyone else's life. Do you hear me, Ian O'Shea?" I had his attention now. He looked wounded. His eyes went blank. They were cold. That edge I was so afraid to push him over; was a slippery slope. He finally turned and walked away.

I shuddered. There was something about his expression when he walked away that frightened me. Everyone backed away from the scene leaving me standing alone. Mel was the one to come to me now. Jared went to the passenger side door of the van and returned with Lacey's gun. He strode off silently in the direction that Ian had gone.

"Let's get something to eat." Mel grabbed my arm and led me over to the bags of food sitting in the back of the truck. "We have cold cuts and rolls and potato salad, well, you know what we have. After all, you bought it.

My mind was on Jared. I don't know why, but I kept envisioning Jared shooting Ian; putting him out of his misery like a rabid dog. "Why did Jared take the gun?"

Mel was putting the finishing touches on her sandwich as she replied, "Last night, Nate told us that no one was to leave the campsite unarmed. There are cougars and bobcats, bears, and coyotes in these mountains."

"Oh."

I blankly reached out to make myself a sandwich as Mel pulled out two slices of bread from the bag and handed them to me. She made sure I had a drink and then she grabbed a bag of chips. "Let's sit over here." She walked deliberately out of earshot of the rest of the group and chose a rocky outcropping to sit down on. She motioned for me to sit next to her. We ate in silence at first. Then Melanie crunched down on a potato chip and mumbled, "I know you have a lot on your plate right now…" I looked down at my plate. She laughed. "No, I didn't mean it literally!" I pulled the corners of my mouth up. "Aaah, a smile!" She was happy that she had been able to pull me from my funk. She took another bite of her sandwich and then she looked at me dead in the eyes. Her voice was intense. "Wanda, you are my best friend and I have been letting this chew me up inside for a while now. I have to tell you."

I immediately thought the worst. "Please don't tell me that you slept with Ian." I sucked in a deep breath.

She rocked back in shock. "Hell no! Are you crazy?"

I blew out my breath in relief. "Good."

"Forget about Ian for a few minutes. This is about me." She paused. "And Jared."

She had my attention now. "What?"

Mel leaned in to me and spoke in nearly a whisper so only I could hear. "I missed my period."

I had been slouching on the rock. Now I pulled my body erect and my plate slid off my knees to the ground. "Your food!" Melanie moaned. Mel was concerned about my food? I didn't care. I was nearly finished anyway. This was way more important.

"How late are you?"

"Two and a half weeks more or less."

"Oh Mel! You're pregnant? Does Jared know?" I was elated for her.

I had spoken too loud. "Shhhhhhh!" She clapped her hand over my mouth to silence me.

She leaned in close to my ear now. "No. He doesn't know. He's gonna freak!"

"Why?"

"Think Wanda. What has Jared always said about bringing children into this world?" Mel's memory clicked to the forefront of my head reminding me that Jared was very vocal about the fact that he was dead set against ever bringing a child into this madness. He said it would be cruel to create a life with parasites ruling the world. He said we would just be providing them with another body to inhabit.

"Ohhhhhhhhh." I whispered. "What are you going to do?"

She looked at me and her eyes began to pool with the tears she had been trying to hold back. "I'll need you to help me through this. I don't know what Jared …" Her voice cracked and she couldn't finish. Hers tears turned to sobs.

I knelt down and pulled her into my arms and held her. "Mel, I'll always be here for you. You know that." I pulled back and held her face in my hands. "We'll get through this together, just like old times." I smiled at her but there was sadness in my heart. Sadness due to the fact that when we shared our body we both wanted different things. She wanted Jared all to herself and I wanted Ian. Now that we both had our own bodies to ourselves, it seemed we might both lose the one thing we each fought for. I didn't know how to make things better and I suddenly understood how difficult it must have been to be around me these last two days.

"Come on. Cheer up. Jared loves you. He might be mad at first but it's not like you did this to yourself. He'll most likely be more angry with himself than he will be with you." I knew this was true. If Jared was going to place blame; it would be on himself. Melanie knew this too.

She nodded. I bent down to pick up my trash and we headed back to the truck to clean up. Ian and Jared weren't back yet. I hoped that Jared might be able to console him but I knew I was kidding myself. There was only one person who would be able to do that.

At that moment Nate called out loudly. "People, we leave in two hours!" Everyone was busy doing something. Some were cleaning the site; some were washing up by the river. Some were packing things away. I decided I would do my part and roll up the sleeping bags that Ian and I had slept in. I didn't know when he would be back.

Besides when I was done I could go to the river and do a little personal hygiene on myself. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled at the knots. Ugh, why couldn't I have straight hair? Trudy once told me that she used to pay a fortune back in the day to get her hair permed like mine. She must have been crazy! As I carried the rolled up sleeping bags in my arms towards the truck, a voice caught me from behind. "Wanda?"

I spun around. It was Lily. Great. Ian's lover, just what I needed. I was pissed because I really liked Lily.

I turned back dropping the sleeping bags into the bed of the truck. "What can I do for you Lily?" I spoke with irritation clearly in my voice.

"I need to talk to you." She was cautious of my actions.

"I already know you slept with Ian" My voice hitched at the thought.

"I know you do. I don't want to talk about the past. I want to talk about you."

"About me?" I was confused. I couldn't fathom what she would have to say about me.

"Yes." She replied. "Can we go somewhere private?" I looked around at the whole forest full of privacy.

"We can go into the woods."

"No, too dangerous. Nate said not to wander from camp. The bears are coming out of hibernation and Nate says they are more aggressive due to hunger." Sensing that I wouldn't be up for hand holding, she took my wrist and pulled me towards the passenger side of the van. She opened the door. "Get in."

I got in and she closed my door. She walked around to the driver's side, opened the door, and got in. She took a deep breath and then said "Okay." She rubbed her forehead as if deciding exactly how to start. She took another deep breath. "Let me see if I can understand your way of thinking." She held up one finger. "If a man has sex with only one girl and then he marries her and spends the rest of his life with her, then you would say he is a good man, yes?"

This seemed like a pretty straight forward question with an easy answer. "Yes."

"But a man who sleeps with, I don't know, say twenty woman without making a commitment to any one of them is …"

"Scum." I finished her sentence for her.

"Even if the twenty first girl is the one he falls in love with?" She was trying to trap me.

"Yes."

Now Lily was rubbing her chin. "I see things very differently than you do, I guess."

"How do you mean?' I asked taking the bait.

"Well the way I see it; the man who sleeps with one woman and makes her his wife and lives the rest of his life with her is either one of two things. Either he is incredibly lucky, because love at first sight is like winning the lottery. The chances are one in a million. OR he is desperate to be wanted and he will settle for the first woman to give him a second glance and he may spend the rest of his life with her, but are they really happy?"

She sighed again and leaned closer to me now. "The guy who sleeps with twenty

girls is not about to settle for less than what he thinks is the perfect choice for him. That twenty first girl is damn lucky that he sees what he wants and needs in his life and that she fits that mold. Wanda, you are that twenty first girl. Do you understand?" Funny thing was I did understand. Lily was not that twenty first girl but I was. Suddenly I felt bad for thinking horrible things about Lily. I felt horrible for thinking horrible things about Ian.

"Thank you Lily. Thank you for making me see things your way. You are a good friend." I leaned over to give her a hug. I looked at the clock on the dashboard and realized we would be leaving in less than an hour. I was a mess! I needed to go to the river and wash up. "I gotta go wash up. I'll talk to you later." I opened the door and rolled out of the van. I looked around for any sign of Ian or Jared. They were both still MIA. I ran over to Nate.

"Can you take me to the river so I can wash up?"

"Sure." He went to the van and started stacking some of the cups that needed washing. I went to the truck and grabbed my bag out of the front seat.

"Here. You might need this." He handed me a container that held a bar of soap.

"Thanks."

He cradled the shotgun in his left arm and extended his right elbow out to me and said "Shall we, pardner?"

I put my arm through his and said. "Let's go pardner. I'm tired of grime. This girl needs to look fresh." I smirked at him and off we went to the river.

When we got to river I took off my sneakers and waded in. "AHHHHHHHH! This is freaking cold!"

He laughed at me. "You're not in the desert anymore Dorothy!" He put down the shotgun and spread his arms out wide and looked at the treetops turning his head from the left to the right. "This here's the mountains. The river flows down from way up yonder and it's fed by the rain in the summer and the snow in the winter."

"Thanks for the science lesson Mister, hey what is your last name?"

"Downey, Nathan Downey, Ma'am!" He pretended he was tipping his hat just like Jeb often did when he was in the presence of a lady."

I diverted my attention to the task at hand which was trying to make myself presentable if Ian ever returned. He had been gone a long time and I was starting to get worried. Nate laid the gun at the edge of the river bed and was squatting about fifteen feet away from me washing the cups he had gathered. I finished scrubbing my face with a facecloth I had pulled from my bag. I was using water and my brush trying to control my wild hair when all of a sudden I heard a sound that wasn't human. It wasn't a growl really. It was a guttural sound and then splashing. I turned to see something I never in my life would ever want to see this close up.

A huge bear was on the other side of the river about twenty feet away from me. Nate spoke to me in a very gentle voice. "Don't move. Don't scream." I wanted to look over at him but I couldn't take my eyes off the bear. I wanted to scream. I tried to look at both at the same time. I was terrified. Nate tried to keep me calm. "If you move he will charge. Let him keep his focus on me." I was breathing very hard, my chest was heaving.

I could hear my heartbeat slamming in my chest. Nate started to back up slowly towards the gun. The bear exploded with a roar and rose up on his hind legs. I jumped and let out a weak yelp. I was trembling and I didn't know how much longer I could stand still waiting for the bear to take me. I wouldn't last more than one swipe of his massive paws. Of that, I was sure. I thought how ironic it would be for a bear to end my tenth life; especially after spending a life as a bear on the Mists Planet. Nate was beside the gun now. He was lowering his center of gravity closer and closer the gun. I was whimpering now. Suddenly, I heard Ian's voice. He was shouting at the bear. "Heahhhh, heahhhhh."

It was the distraction that Nate needed. He quickly grabbed the gun and yelled "Wanda run!" I started to run and I heard the splash of the water as the bear charged. I barely made it out of the river, when I heard the boom of the shotgun. I kept running right towards Ian. I threw myself into his arms. I was hysterical. He picked me up like a small child and I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He wrapped one arm securely around my body and held the back of my head with his other hand. He was trying to calm me but I was inconsolable.

"It's okay. You're okay now. Nate scared him off. Shhhhhhh. Wanda, it's okay. Shhhh." This continued for several minutes. I would not let go. I didn't want to ever let go. Finally I got my breathing and my sobbing under control. Ian let my feet slip to the ground. My arms were still wrapped around his waist in a bear hug. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair. It felt soothing. How did I ever let my jealousy take me away from this? Even though he had never made love to me, he always was very attentive. He was always touching me, holding my hand, stroking my face, my hair, my back. He slowly pulled me away from him. Ian took my arm in a firm grip and guided me towards Nate. By this time, everyone was here by the river, not that I had noticed in my hysterics. When he reached Nate, he gently pushed me towards him and said. "Please take care of her." I twisted in his grasp to face him. I barely glimpsed his face before he turned away. Now that I was free from his grasp I raced to get in front of him. I wanted to see his face. It was cold, defeated.

"Ian?" He was marching towards the van. I was stepping backward quickly trying to stay in front of him. "Ian? What are you doing?" My heart was pounding again. My stomach was in knots. "I'm right here." He didn't slow. "I put my arms around him trying to slow him."

He stopped walking. He broke my grasp from his waist and growled, "Wanda STOP IT!"

I kept shaking my head back and forth pleading. "Noooo, Noooo."

He released my wrists and continued to walk. I collapsed. I had done it. Ian had fallen down that slippery slope and obviously Jared couldn't pull him back. Ironically, it was Jared that picked me up off the ground and carried me to the van. He turned to Nate and said "I'm driving the van. Burns can ride with you. Let's go."

Nate turned to the rest of the crowd and bellowed, "You heard the man, let's go!"

When Jared shut the door, I slid down in the seat and curled up into a ball. There wasn't much space on the seat and I was reminded of the small hole in the caverns that I called home for the first few weeks when I arrived in Melanie's body and Jared kept guard over me. Once again he was the one keeping guard, so to speak. The driver's side door opened. Jared got in. He placed my sneakers and my bag on the floor in front of my seat. I didn't bother to look up at him. I was trying to keep the rumbling in the pit of my stomach at bay. I tucked my head between my knees and rocked in the seat. The van roared to life and I felt the sensation of Jared backing the van up across the rough terrain of the campsite. As he pulled forward my body pitched back into the seat. I knew when we hit pavement without having to look up. The sun was hanging low in the sky. Sunset was less than an hour away. Even though the road only had a few bumps now and then, my stomach was in turmoil. Suddenly the taste of acid burnt the back of my throat.

"Jared, pull over." I spoke with urgency. I straightened up in the seat now.

"What?" He was looking at me.

"I said PULL OVER! I'm gonna…" I had to clap my hand over my mouth to keep the vomit that rose in my throat from spilling out of my mouth.

"Oh Crap!" Jared had realized that I was going to throw up and he pulled quickly to the side of the road. I had the door open and sprung from my seat and ran about six feet before I fell to my knees and lost all of the food that I had eaten with Melanie. I was on all fours trying to steady my breath. A sweat had broken out over my body. I sat back on my knees and shivered. Suddenly I saw a bottle of water being offered to me. I recognized the big hand that held it and I looked up to see Ian staring down at me. I took it from him and opened the bottle. I filled my mouth, swished, and spit. Before I could take another drink Ian picked me up in one smooth motion. The water bottle slipped from my fingers and fell to the ground.

"My water!" I reached in the direction of where it had fallen.

"Leave it." He said flatly. "It's too dangerous to be out here like this."

I pulled my arms tightly around his neck. "I'm sorry." I said in a little voice.

"I know." He muttered still looking straight ahead.

"I love you, Ian." I was hoping he would just look at me. Show some kind of emotion. Anything.

"I know." was all he said.

When he got to back of the van he put me down gently inside and barked out, "Mel, ride shotgun."

"I'll do it." It was Aaron who spoke and without hesitation he was pushing his way past Mel.

As Aaron left the van, Ian climbed in. He scooted past me and took his former position behind Jared's seat up against the side of the van.

I stayed curled up in my little ball. I was still feeling the effects of the last few minutes both physically and emotionally. Mel reached out and stroked my head. "Sweetie, are you all right?"

Lily was rifling through the bags trying to find something other than water for me to drink. She held out a Sprite. "Here. Drink this. It will help."

I curled tighter into myself. I was still too distraught over Ian's lack of emotion of any kind. It was like I had destroyed him from the inside out and now I was determined to destroy myself as well.

"Ian!" It was Mel. She obviously had been having some kind of silent communication with him that I was unaware of.

Now, his hands were under my armpits pulling me towards him. He turned my body so my head and chest lay on his and he cradled me in his arms. He didn't speak. I

kept my arms pulled tightly to my own body not wanting to do anything that might give him a reason to push me away. It was quiet in the back of the van. I could hear Jared and Aaron discussing how long they thought it would take to catch the truck which had passed us during my 'pit stop'. It was getting darker now. As we passed over a rise, I heard Jared say "There! I told you they'd wait." What followed was some kind of pass and wave recognition thing that we in the back could not see.

I was aware of Ian's scent as I pressed my nose into his chest and it was soothing. Ian feeling the tension in my body relax began to stroke my hair. After a while he seemed to relax as well. I guess stroking my hair had been as therapeutic for him as it was for me.

It was dark now. He leaned into my hair. I might have been wrong but it seemed as though he was inhaling my scent as well. "We should lie down and sleep." He whispered.

I was calm but fearful that if I separated from him even for a moment that I might crumble. I moved very slowly. I was aware of every muscle that he moved. He lay on his side and tapped the bed of the van with his hand motioning me to lie next to him. I moved cautiously afraid that any moment I might wake up from this dream all alone. He placed his hand on my cheek and said, "Sleep." I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to touch him. I pulled my hands up to his face and touched his lips. He closed his eyes. I pulled my face close and placed my lips tenderly on his. We kissed for just a few brief seconds and he opened his eyes. I wanted more. I leaned in again. "No." He pulled his head down to keep me from meeting his lips with mine.

"Don't you want to kiss me?" I squeaked.

"Yes." He whispered. "But we are not alone."

I had completely forgotten about the two girls in the back of the van with us. Mel, who had made no excuses of the fact that she really didn't like Ian; and Lily, who until recently had probably loved Ian. My back had been towards them and I felt the heat on my face as I turned to see both of them staring at us. They didn't look away. I think they were just both relieved to see us together again. I turned back towards Ian and placed my head on my arm so I could stare at his face. He stared back at me and it was the best moment I had had in a long while. I could lay here with him like this forever. I traced his face and again my fingers went to his lips. His face was intense, he kissed my fingers and pulled my hand to his chest and then wrapped his arm around me pulling me tight into him. "Sleep, my Wanderer." I closed my eyes and nodded off.

It was still the middle of the night when we pulled into the dirt road that served as a driveway to Burns' house. "Hey guys. Wake up. We're here." It was Aaron calling from the front seat. Ian slept like the dead. He normally would have sprawled out onto his back but he was still tightly wrapped around me. I couldn't move.

"Ian wake up." The sound of his own name had been enough to rouse him. He must not have been asleep for long. He opened his eyes and we were face to face.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hey." I whispered back.

The back doors opened and we all climbed out and stood in a circle. Nate came over to us. The lights inside the house went on. Burns must be inside. "Wanda, I don't think it would be a good idea to bring you to the cave right now. The family probably wouldn't approve of a parasite sleeping so close to them." I understood. "You'll sleep in the house with Burns."

"Ian. Can Ian stay with me?" I didn't want to be without him.

"It's okay." Ian offered. "I can stay with the others."

"No!" I grabbed his arm tightly.

Burns came out of the house grinning. "Everything still looks the same." He turned to me. "Wanda, let me show you to your room."

"Ian is coming with me." I announced.

Burns didn't look pleased. He shot a glance at Nate. "They should be alright for tonight. Keep the shades drawn so he can't be seen just in case." Nate responded.

My grip on Ian's arm loosened. "Thank you, Nate."

"I told you before, anything for a pretty lady." He smirked and shot a look at Ian for good measure. "Okay gang, let's get a move on." Nate reminded me so much of a young Jeb. He always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone else. He was always in control. I liked that about him.

Burns turned towards me and Ian and said "Come on. I'll show you the house."

We entered through the back door. "Wait here." He stepped forward and systematically closed the shade on every window in the house before returning. "Okay. Come on in." We stepped into a great room. There was a television and a stereo. There was a bunch of CD's spread out on the table next to the stereo. The walls were a slate blue. The floor was carpeted in a multi color pattern with hues of blue, black, white, and tan. The walls were sparsely decorated with a few random pictures, but nothing to suggest Burns' personality. There was a long couch. It looked comfortable. It too was blue but it was lighter in color than the walls. It was flanked by two matching black chairs. The coffee table was made of wood and it was worn with rings from glasses left to sit too long.

"The kitchen is through here." We stepped through a door that swung both ways into the kitchen. It was a large room as well. It had not been redecorated in at least the last decade. The cabinets were a light colored wood that had been varnished. There was no dishwasher. There was large rectangular table with eight wooden chairs surrounding it. It seemed funny to me that a guy who lived alone would have such a large table. The only new item in the kitchen was the refrigerator. It was a double door silver Whirlpool model with an ice maker in the door.

"Nice fridge." I commented.

"Yeah, well, I keep the food for everyone here. There's no electricity in the cave."

He led us to a bedroom and opened the door but did not enter. "This is my room." It was sparsely decorated like the rest of the house. He had a Queen size bed and two dressers. One had a mirror above it and not much else. He stepped to the bathroom. It had been remodeled. It was very large. I could only guess that he had knocked out a wall to a closet to make the bathroom bigger. The tub was a nice Jacuzzi style with jets. There was also a stand up shower. There were two sinks side by side and of course the toilet.

"Wow!" Ian exclaimed. "I could live in here!" He was beaming.

"You are not the first one to say that." He chuckled.

Then he led us down a short hall to another door. "This is the other bedroom. It's not very fancy and I'm sorry Ian, the bed is only full size."

"Thank you. This will be fine." I assured Burns.

Burns excused himself and went off to bed.

As Ian shut the door, I dove onto the bed. Ian looked uneasy. "Maybe I should sleep on the couch."

"Don't be silly!" I jumped off the bed and grabbed his hands. I walked backwards towing him towards the bed. When the back of my legs hit the bed I fell backward pulling him down on top of me. He stopped himself from crushing me by putting his hands out to catch his fall. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Do you want to kiss me now?"

"Yes." But instead of kissing me he pulled himself off the bed. "Wanda, are you trying to seduce me?"

I sat up. "Obviously I am not doing a very good job of it."

He sat on the bed next to me. He was examining the palm of his hand. I assume that he was trying to distract himself. "Look. These last two days have been pure hell for us … for me. You asked me if I want to kiss you. Yes, but …" He took a deep breath. "My head is so screwed up right now. A huge part of me just wants to take you and ravage you." My body shivered with delight at the thought of Ian letting go of all of his boundaries and having his way with me. "The other part of me says if I do that I might regret it." He turned to me now and took my hands in his. "Please, let me have control of this. I need to be able to stop and I need you to respect that. It's the … It's the only way I can respect myself. Do you understand?"

I didn't but I nodded my head anyway. If pretending that I understood what was going through his brain would keep him from sleeping on the couch then so be it. I would take whatever shred of attention he was willing to give me.

"I'm going to wash up, okay?" I grabbed my bag off the dresser. "Actually there are two sinks. You can wash up with me."

Ian grabbed his bag and followed me to the sink. We both washed up and brushed our teeth. Then we walked silently back to the bedroom. Once inside, I pulled a clean pair of sweats out of my bag and a camisole I had recently bought on one of my shopping trips. It was pink and silky to the touch. I slipped out of my jeans. Ian turned his head away. I purposely waited for him to turn his head back to me before I slipped off my shirt. He caught me wearing only my bra. He froze; his eyes fixed on me. "Sorry." We both said at the same time. I turned my back to him and slipped off my bra. As I slipped the camisole over my head I could see his face in the mirror so I knew he could see me too.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch." He muttered as he stepped towards the door.

"No!" I ran over and grabbed his hand. "It will be fine. I promise. You are in complete control." But he wasn't and he knew it.

He sat on the edge of the bed. His clothes were dirty. He had been wearing them for two days. They had to come off. I walked away and went to my side of the bed and sat with my back to him. He pulled his shirt off and then he unbuttoned his jeans. I heard the zipper come down but then he stood up rezipping and said "I have to go to the bathroom," as he wormed his way through the door. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for his return. He had to be weighing his options. I was hoping that he would take me. I thought that if he did I would at least be on an even keel with Lily, and Lydia, and Heidi. Now those old feelings were coming back. The player always on the prowl. No. I wouldn't let that upset me tonight. I pushed the bad thoughts from my mind.

He had been gone a long time. Did he bail on me and sleep on the couch? I was about to go investigate when he came back. His chest was massive and his arms were chiseled. His stomach was flat. There was the perfect amount of hair that extended from his belly button to below his belt. I was in awe. He cleared his throat to signal me to turn away. "Oh." I mumbled as I turned my back to him once again. He took his jeans off quickly and slid under the covers. I knew he would be wearing boxers but I couldn't help but hold the covers back to see before I bounced into the bed. We turned towards each other. I put both of my hands firmly on his chest.

"Do you want to kiss me now?"

"No."

I shrank back to look at him horrified.

"I'm kidding." He pulled me to him. He stroked my face and gazed into my eyes. "I love you." He leaned in and my lips were locked with his. His hands were controlling all movement of my head. His mouth opened and closed. He tasted my lips, my tongue, my chin. All I could do was take a breath each time he bit my lower lip. My entire body was mush. He had never kissed me like this. This was a Mel and Jared kiss, not a slow burn, an explosion. He finally let me breathe as he raced down my neck with his lips and his tongue. My body was literally tingling from top to bottom. He pulled me tight against his body now as he kissed my shoulders. I could feel the excitement he had for me. He was fully aroused. He pulled me on top of him but he pulled me high up on his chest. I could only guess that he was trying to keep me away from his … 'passion'. He pulled the bottom of my camisole up and kissed my stomach. His hands were caressing my breasts. Then, without warning, he threw me off of him onto my back and leaned over me.

"Was it good for you?"

I couldn't even breathe out an answer.I was trying not to spontaneously combust. He exposed his teeth in an evil wicked grin.

I finally caught my breath. "Can you do that again?"

"No. You came dangerously close to losing your virginity just now."

I decided not to comment simply because he wanted control. I gave it to him.

"Okay. Semi-passionate kisses then?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

"And then sleep. You are going to have a very busy day tomorrow."

"You are too."

"I'm not the new parasite around here."

"Okay I don't like ..." He put his fingers over my lips.

"Those are not my words. I'm sorry. I should have said 'soul'. Forgive me."

I just stared at him incredulously. He called me a parasite. How could he?

"Wanda? Please. If I could erase what I just said I would. Please don't ruin this moment."

"Fine. Words erased. Just kiss me." He leaned in and tenderly kissed my lips. Not like a few minutes ago. Now he was more controlled. I pushed the bad thoughts to the back of my mind. For now.

This was the slow burn kiss. It started out slow and became more passionate as the minutes passed. His hands caressed my body but stayed in the "PG" areas. I responded by caressing his body. I was enjoying the feel of the hair line just above the "No Fly" zone. We kissed for a long time before finally I was satisfied that he had repaired the inevitable crack that his comment had created. I was feeling at peace when my mind finally drifted off safe and secure in his arms.