Breath of Life
by ChatterChick
Summary: They were happy. They were healthy. Their lives were coming beautifully together. Follow Neville and Hannah Longbottom on their journey to start their family.
***updated version as of 04/05/15***
A/N: Huge thank you to everyone who read/reviewed/favourited/followed after the first chapter! Here's the next part, hope you enjoy it :)
Chapter 1: Baby Blues
April 2006
Hannah daintily took a sip of the French wine that Fleur Weasley had handed her upon her arrival. Years of working at the Leaky had refined her tastes and she could admit that she was turning into a bit of an alcohol snob. This was much sweeter than the red Italian wines Hannah preferred, but she didn't want to offend the proud French witch.
"It is very sweet," Hannah told her in what she hoped sounded like a compliment. "Is it made from elven berry?"
Fleur beamed at her. "My sister made it herself."
They made brief small talk, before Fleur excused herself to welcome another arrival with a glass of wine. Hannah wandered around the backyard. There was still a bit of a chill left in the air, but Hannah could pretend it was late spring if she stayed in the direct sunlight long enough. Luckily the rain had held off for once today and the Weasleys were able to set up the yard to accommodate the many people who would be there. Ginny had given birth to a second son the week before and the Weasleys were holding a party at the Burrow. Colourful balloons twisted into magical creatures swayed in the breeze and a huge banner read "Welcome Albus Potter". Tables were set up with a huge spread of Mrs Weasley's cooking and various trays contributed by the rest of the guests. A small crowd had gathered around the Potters to congratulate them and coo over the baby. Hannah was really only here as Neville's plus-one as she had never been particularly close to Harry or any of the Weasleys.
Hannah sat down in a lawn chair next to Luna, one of the few people in attendance who wasn't a blood relative or in-law to the large Weasley family.
"Hi Luna," she cheerfully greeted the other witch.
Luna was wearing a sun dress made up of patches of fabric with pastel letters and numbers on them. She had a daisy-chain around her neck and a large pair of sunglasses in the shape of a half moon. Her hair was just as long and wild as it had ever been, and months in the tropical rainforest had given Luna a healthy glow.
"Oh Hannah, I'm so happy to see you!" Luna expressed. She passed Hannah the tray of squares next to her. "Pumpkin fudge? I made them myself this morning."
"Thank you Luna." Hannah took one of the offered treats and sampled it. "I didn't expect to see you until the anniversary." Luna's work as a magizoologist often took her out of country to more exotic locations, although she always made it back in time for the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. "How was Peru?"
"Oh wonderful," said Luna. "Rolf and I spent most of it tracking the Chullachaqui through the Amazon. Rolf's still there, trying to take a picture for our notes. I thought Ginny would deliver early again so I changed my portkey to be here a few weeks earlier than planned."
Neville sat in the lawn chair on the other side of Hannah. "Hullo Luna."
Hannah drifted in and out of Neville and Luna's conversation about some of the magical ferns Luna had encountered. She turned to a favourite hobby of hers, one that had only increased in her time as a bartender; people watching.
She couldn't imagine being part of such a large and busy family. Neville was an only child and had just a couple of elderly relatives. He still had his parents, but they were confined to the permanent spell-damage ward at St Mungos and barely recognized their son no matter how often he visited. Her own parents had died during the last war, and all that remained of her immediate family was her brother, her grandfather and a muggle grandmother she barely knew.
Here, there were a great number of relatives and young children running around the yard. The children were still quite small and there was usually an exhausted parent close behind. Hermione and Ron were the last of the Weasleys to have any children, although that would change in several weeks time. Hermione was round with her first pregnancy and Ron hovered close by his wife.
It seemed that everyone suddenly was having babies this year.
Ernie and Susan Macmillan had their second daughter, Brianna, over the holidays. Zacharias Smith and his wife, Lauren, had a daughter in February. There had even been an announcement in the Daily Prophet a few months back that Draco and Astoria Malfoy had had a son named Scorpius.
Everyone was having babies, except for her and Neville. Hannah's thoughts were interrupted before she could dwell on them too much.
"Speech!" A couple of the Weasley brothers prompted. George's voice in particular carried over the rest. "Speech!"
Ginny tossed her red mane and gave a cheeky grin. "Oh, I'm sure my brothers really want to hear about how this all started, one night nine months ago – "
"Ginevra," Mrs Weasley scolded her only daughter.
"Go ahead, dear sister, we all know you're not that innocent," George boldly told her.
Ginny smirked and Harry looked only mildly uncomfortable. Hannah supposed Harry was fairly used to dealing with his wife and in-laws at this point. He quickly cut in before Ginny could volley back another inappropriate comment.
"I think they'd much rather hear about their nephew."
Ginny picked up the sleeping newborn out of the basket next to her to show him off as Harry spoke. He was bundled in a knitted blanket with a baby dragon on the front.
"He's been quiet so far today, but usually he sleeps about as much as Jamie did, so I'm not going to even pretend this will be coherent."
"He's sweet though, I think he's going to look just like his Daddy." Ginny smiled down at her son, looking more like her mother in that moment. "Harry and I would like to take this time to thank Mum and Dad for holding this party. It really would not have happened without their help."
Harry kissed Ginny on the cheek before speaking again. "Secondly, we would like to thank our good friends, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood, for agreeing to be Al's godparents. Ginny and I can't say how much it means to us that you'll be in our son's life. We'd also like to thank all of our friends and family for being with us on this happy occasion."
"To Albus Severus Potter!" Ron merrily cut in, raising his glass of wine in a toast. The rest of the crowd joined in, toasting to little Al's good health and a happy future.
"Albus Severus Potter," Neville tried out the name. "I never thought I'd live to see Harry name a kid after Snape."
Hannah patted Neville's hand. "I'm sure he had his reasons."
Neville shook his head, still clearly baffled by the strange choice in name. "And Ginny let him. Godric, Hannah, promise me we'll name our kids after someone who actually deserves it."
"But Dolores Longbottom has such a lovely ring," Hannah teased him, but inside her heart had stopped at the mention of their future child. She had been off of the contraceptive potions for almost a year and a half now. It was starting to be a sore point that everyone around her had one, if not two children by now, and didn't seem to take nearly as long. Questions were starting to turn to a future baby Longbottom. A topic that Hannah wanted to dodge more and more and people wanted to ask more and more.
"Are you planning one soon?" Luna asked. "The springtime is a magical time to conceive a baby. The rebirth of all the plants is very rejuvenating for one's body."
"Yes, well, we're working on it." Neville's eyes flickered briefly to hers.
"You should drink the tea of mandrake leaves," Luna serenely suggested, "They help with fertility."
"Do they?" Hannah asked, sharing a look with Neville. He shrugged in response. While they both treasured Luna's friendship and wisdom, sometimes her advice could be off the mark. Luna's unconventional knowledge was still mingled with a lot of conspiracy theories, myths and old witches' tales, so it was hard to take some of it seriously.
"Oh yes, but you have to drink them in the light of the full moon, in tribute to the moon goddess Artemis. She's a patron of childbirth you know."
She would file away mandrake leaves as a possibility, one she would revisit if she got desperate enough.
"Thank you, Luna," Neville sincerely told her.
xXxXx
Hannah flipped through a calendar book while she stood behind the bar, every so often glancing up to see how her customers were doing. It was just twenty minutes shy of the lunch-hour rush when everyone in London seemed to go on break.
Her last period was the last week of March, so that meant the first day of her cycle would have been –
Hannah frowned as she looked at her calendar. It had been over twenty-eight days since her last period.
Her period wasn't exactly like clock-work, but it should have been here by now. Hannah drummed her fingers along the counter as she thought. By the weekend she most definitely should have started and it was now Tuesday. She didn't want to get over excited about it, but she still had some of that pregnancy potion left and it couldn't hurt to see.
She was startled out of her thoughts by a pair of lips pressed at the base of her neck. She shivered at the touch.
"Neville!" She giggled as she spun around. "You're home early!"
She found herself face to face with her husband, a bouquet of cheery yellow flowers filled in the small space between them. He knew they were her favourites and grew them in his greenhouse year round. Every so often he would pluck a few before coming home. Their apartment never lacked fresh cut flowers. The petals twirled around the centres, waving merrily up at her. They were aptly named Dancing Daffodils.
"What's the occasion?" She asked.
"Have I ever needed one?"
"I think I might have one." She smiled as she accepted the flowers. "I'm late."
Neville's eyes widened with surprise, before a smile took over his face. "Did you take the potion?"
"No, but I could take it tonight, after I hand the Leaky over to Luke." She tried to settle her stomach which was doing a dance of its own.
Neville's joy was infectious as he kissed her. "Good, but wait for me. I want to be here when you find out."
xXxXx
There wasn't a baby that April, and there wasn't one either in August when she skipped her period again. She could see the disappointment in Neville's eyes when he tried to smile and say "Maybe next month."
But each month hurt a little more when her period arrived, and each month Hannah got a little more desperate. She quit drinking and followed a strict diet. She listened to all the silly old witches' tales, wondering if they had any merit. She recorded her monthly cycle in her calendar, trying to figure out which day was the best to try to conceive. During the week she ovulated, they had sex almost every night just in case. The disappointment had taken its toll on her mood though, and it was starting to feel more like a chore and less for pleasure. Frustration was starting to seep in that no matter how often, what position, what she did, what she didn't do, she still wasn't pregnant.
She even started drinking Luna's mandrake tea, asking Neville to collect the leaves from one of his greenhouses. It tasted horrid, but Hannah stubbornly had a cup every morning before and after the full moon just in case Luna was right about the lunar goddess.
So when December came and with it another missing period, it was with anxiety rather than hope that Hannah sat alone in the master bathroom. She didn't even tell Neville this time, not wanting to get him excited again over a false-pregnancy.
Shakily, she swallowed two mouthfuls of the potion before following it with two glasses of tap water. She stayed on the cold tile floor of the bathroom until she finally felt the faint pressure from her bladder. She sat on the toilet, long after she had finished using it. She didn't quite trust herself to stand, scared to turn around and see the clear toilet water.
But she couldn't sit on a toilet seat all night. Even after two years of disappointment Hannah still had a little hope inside her that this would be the time. That she would turn around and see that faint purple tinge and it would all be worth it. So she managed to find the will to stand up and turn around.
Her hand flew to her mouth as she peered into the toilet bowl for the fourth time that year. Clear water stared back at her yet again. Her heart sunk deep into her chest and she tried to blink away the tears. She had expected this anyway, she tried to tell herself. It was always the same thing. She'd skip a period, get over excited and find out it was over nothing. At least this time she only got her own hopes up over it.
Merlin, what was wrong with her?
She quickly flushed the toilet, splashed some water from the sink to clear her reddening eyes and headed out. Only, she stopped in surprise when she stepped into the bedroom. Their room was bathed in the soft glow of a hundred candles floating in mid-air. The bed was covered in the yellow petals of her daffodils.
Suddenly overcome with emotion, Hannah felt tears prick her eyes for the second time in a matter of minutes. When she spoke, her own voice sounded higher and tighter than usual. "What is this?"
"I wanted to surprise you."
"It's not even – " Hannah wiped the corners of her eyes with her finger. She weakly smiled. "I shouldn't ovulate for another week."
"Exactly, this evening is going to be about us."
"Neville – " She softly protested.
"I've got that cheesecake you like from the Wicked Goods Bake Shop, and a fantastic Elf wine to go with it. We don't even have to have sex; just let me do something nice for you. I think we've still got some of that lavender oil, I could work out the knots in your shoulders."
It was too much. She couldn't handle this right now. She started shaking her head.
"I know we've both been distant lately, and thought we should try to reconnect. Having sex with you shouldn't feel like a chore! It should – "
Hannah finally started crying as she sunk into their bed. Neville ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Shit! I didn't mean – Oh Hannah, I didn't mean it like that. I love you, you know that don't you?" He sat on the edge of the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "We've both been so stressed and frustrated, and it shouldn't be this way. No wonder you're not pregnant yet, all that stress can't be good for you! I thought maybe I could bring some of the romance back. I think we need that. We can take a break from trying for a baby for now; take some of the pressure off of you."
"Neville, stop it." She pushed his arms off her shoulders, looking at the floor as tears continued to fall from her eyes.
This didn't deter him; in fact it only made him more concerned. He gently brushed his thumb against her cheek. "Hannah, talk to me, love. Please tell me what's wrong? All I want is to help you, please let me."
She raised her watery eyes to meet his warm brown ones. Finding courage in Neville, she finally spoke the words out loud.
"I think something's wrong with me."