Breath of Life
by ChatterChick
Summary: They were happy. They were healthy. Their lives were coming beautifully together. Follow Neville and Hannah Longbottom on their journey to start their family.
***updated version as of 04/05/15***
TRIGGER WARNING: There is mention of torture at the hands of the Carrows in this chapter. It's left vague, but it can be interpreted as sexual violence. I'll leave it up to the readers to decide for themselves what happened. Personally, I didn't intend for that to happen to Hannah and meant it more in the lines of dark magic.
Chapter 2: Healer's Orders
End of December, 2006
The flower petals and candles were vanished and the cheesecake and wine stored for a happier occasion. Hannah spent the night wrapped tightly in Neville's arms as he murmured reassurances into her tangled hair.
"I'm so sorry," she kept repeating. Tears were streaming freely down her face and all of her bottled up thoughts and worries were finally being shared. "I r-really want to have your baby and I just can't."
"Shhh, no, it's okay Hannah. This isn't your fault," he'd murmur back, gently rubbing circles into her back.
"What if it is though? I mean, we don't even know how much damage the Carrows did to us that year, I had no idea what half those curses were – " She broke off, overcome with harsh sobs. It wasn't fair. She had been Head Girl that year, and the professors couldn't protect them so it was up to her and the others to look out for the younger ones. Merlin, the amount of times she had woken up on the stone floor of the dungeons confused after a detention with the Carrows –
Neville pulled her out of her thoughts with a kiss to her forehead. His body had stiffened next to hers and his hold on her had tightened. She felt guilty for bringing up her torture at the hands of the Carrows. Neville had taken over the leadership of the DA after Luna and Ginny were removed from Hogwarts that year. Despite the fact that they all rebelled willingly, Neville took the pain of each DA member to heart. She suspected her emotional pain hurt him more than any Cruciatus Curse ever could. Merlin, this wasn't fair.
"You can't blame yourself, besides, for all we know I could be the problem," Neville reassured her, gently caressing her face with his thumb. He pressed it to her lips as she tried to protest. "I took just as many curses as you did, remember? Or maybe I've always been sterile, we just don't know. It's not your fault, just like it's not my fault. We'll find a way to have that baby, I promise. Okay?"
She nodded, closing her eyes and letting Neville comfort her.
"It's my period," she whispered, "I keep skipping it. Something's got to be wrong! I know that's not normal."
"We'll schedule an appointment at St Mungo's then, and see what's going on, okay? We'll figure this out." Neville pulled her closer to him, nestling his chin on top of her head. She cuddled deeper in his chest, any further and she might as well have climbed in. "I promise we're going to figure this out."
xXxXx
The light of the morning made everything seem a little better, in Hannah's experience.
She woke up still wrapped up in Neville's arms, one of them now loosely slung over her hip and the other digging in under her shoulder. She closed her eyes and let herself doze for a few more minutes, enjoying the feeling of peace and calm that the morning brought.
They had a plan and they were going to be fine. That was what she had to hold on to, that was what would get her through this day.
When Hannah opened her eyes again, she found Neville staring back at her.
"Morning," he lazily whispered.
There wasn't much space between their faces, and Hannah filled in the gap with a kiss. "Morning," she greeted in return.
It was still the Christmas holidays, so Neville had no classes to teach today. He had shifts during some of the afternoons and evenings to keep an eye over the students who stayed behind at Hogwarts. Luckily there were enough professors who stayed at the school over the break, so Neville could spend most of the holidays as he pleased.
Neville had quickly sent their owl off to their old school friend, Michael Corner, to see if he was free this week for a healer's appointment. There was a quick response on the DA galleon with 1030AM-TODAY-MC where the serial number should have been engraved. It was similar in style to how they used to short-hand meeting dates and times during that year. Although, these days they were more straightforward as they no longer had to jumble the letters and numbers in case someone else found the coins.
Hannah went downstairs to check on her staff and make sure they could manage for the morning while she was at the hospital. Neville came down with her as they would leave soon from the Leaky.
"Oh shit," she heard Neville groan the moment they walked into the busy pub.
Hannah followed Neville's gaze to where an elderly witch with an emerald green outer robe and a purple hat with a stuffed vulture sat alone at a table. She felt like swearing herself. Hannah's relationship with Neville's Gran was civil at the best of times and this morning was certainly not the best of times.
Unfortunately, Augusta Longbottom caught sight of them the moment they walked into the room. She probably had been seated at that table with her pot of tea all bloody morning, waiting for them to appear.
"We don't have to – " Neville tried to say.
"We should," sighed Hannah. "I don't want to give her any more reason to hate me."
She was grateful that he didn't try to argue that his Gran didn't hate her. While hate may be a strong word, it was getting harder to deny that Augusta was not thrilled with Neville's marriage to that bar wench. Augusta was extremely critical of Hannah and thought her grandson deserved a much better wife. She probably thought her grandson, the hero of Hogwarts, deserved some pretty little trophy witch who would play house while Neville worked. It boiled Hannah's blood every time she thought about it.
"Hello Gran," Neville politely greeted. He gave her a peck on the cheek before sitting down next to her. "I didn't know you were coming today."
Augusta inclined her head as she surveyed the two of them. She smartly told him, "You live above a pub Neville, I dare say you're used to guests at all hours of the day and night."
"Yes, but our flat has security charms so our guests don't accidentally wander into our private rooms," Neville cheerfully responded.
A lifetime with Augusta had taught Neville how to deal with her constant criticisms. Hannah envied him how easy he was able to brush off his grandmother's harsh words. Yet she also didn't envy him, knowing how hard his childhood had been with Augusta and how little self-esteem he had as a result of her. Neville couldn't resent the witch who had been his only family growing up, so Hannah did it for him.
Hannah sat quietly with them, answering the few questions Augusta levelled her way, but Neville deflected most of Augusta's prying anyway.
" – and I have to wonder when you two plan on having children. Neither of you are getting any younger, she can't have many child-bearing years left."
Hannah felt her face tighten as she fought to keep a neutral expression. Merlin only knew what Augusta would say about her if she found out how difficult it was proving to be for them to have a baby. She'd probably demand a divorce on the spot, or start shoving witches under Neville's nose who could provide him with children. It wouldn't be the first time in their relationship that Augusta had introduced Neville to more appropriate girls.
Under the table Neville put a hand over her knee.
"Hannah and I will have children when we're ready, we're in no rush."
Hannah could tell Augusta had hit a nerve, Neville rarely looked so angry. Augusta must have noticed it too, because she vanished the rest of her tea and started collecting her things.
"I thought after marrying her you'd come to your senses and settle down, but I see living atop a pub really hasn't changed much." Augusta frowned as she reached for her red purse. "Only the distance you have to travel home, if the Prophet is to be trusted."
"Which it's not," Neville strongly insisted. "Just because we live here doesn't mean we're getting pissed every night."
Augusta pulled a few silver coins out of her purse, but Hannah waved her off.
"Your breakfast is on the house," Hannah automatically responded. In a tone that not even Augusta could find fault with, she added, "You are family after all."
There was a swift nod as Augusta stood up to leave. "I'll see you both Sunday for brunch then. Tea is served at eleven sharp."
She left the couple as she headed into the marketplace. Augusta was a predictable old witch and came to the Leaky every Tuesday for tea at nine-thirty and then left to run her errands at ten. She managed to leave Hannah rattled every time.
xXxXx
"Hannah Longbottom here to see Healer Corner."
The receptionist at the front desk didn't even look up from her copy of Witch Weekly.
"Spell Damage, fourth floor, room four-oh-four," she told them as she flipped the page. "Please sign your name here."
They had known that, of course, but St Mungos was finicky about paperwork and didn't like it when people went straight to the healer without checking in at the front desk. Hannah signed her name and the time on the piece of parchment the receptionist handed her before they took the lift to the fourth floor.
Michael's speciality was fixing cursed scars and undoing other sorts of dark magic. But he kept a small list of patients for whom he acted as a general healer. That list was exclusively made up of DA members and their families.
He was waiting for them in his office when they arrived, two files laid open at his desk. Michael was a very handsome young wizard, with high cheekbones, a strong jaw line and a wicked smile. He had short cropped brown hair and dark brown eyes that always sparkled with some untold joke. A long, thin scar ran from just under his left eye, all the way down his check, jaw and neck, disappearing under his green healer's robes.
Hannah could see Hannah Mary Abbott Longbottom and Neville Frank Longbottom written in neat penmanship on the tops of the folders. Michael gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk and they sat down. Neville thanked Michael for seeing them so quickly.
"I hope it wasn't too much trouble," he added.
Michael grinned as he leaned back in his over-large office chair. "None at all, I'm just missing their monthly meeting. Really, you're doing me the favour. Now, what can I do for you?"
For all of Michael's joking around, he was good at keeping his smart mouth shut when he was acting as healer. He was the picture of professionalism as Neville and Hannah described their on-going problem with trying to conceive a child.
"But it's been two years now," Hannah fretfully explained. She could feel Neville's silent support as he squeezed her hand. "There's been a few times when I missed my period and I thought that maybe – but then I'd take the pregnancy potion and – "
Neville's arm wrapped around her shoulders as he gently continued for her. "We thought it might be best to visit you and make sure everything's fine."
"How often have you missed your period the past twelve months?" Michael asked.
"Three times," Hannah told him. She still hadn't told Neville about the last one, and he glanced at her in surprise. "We've tried everything, I've been keeping track of my period, I've been watching my diet, no alcohol, I've been drinking mandrake tea every month –
"Mandrake tea?" Michael rolled his eyes. "What kind of crackpot gave you that – "
"Luna." Neville firmly answered.
Michael seemed to deflate. "Luna. Right."
"Why? Is there something wrong with the tea?" Hannah fretted.
"Hm? Oh, the tea is harmless." Michael ticked off his fingers. "Some think it can help with fatigue, apparation sickness and potion indigestion, although there's no evidence either way. It tastes disgusting, so I recommend you stop because it's really not worth the trouble."
Michael stood up, stretching as he did. He danced his fingers along the spines of the medical books on the large bookcase behind him before deciding on one. He looked up something, quickly flipping through pages until he was satisfied with whatever he found.
"There could be a few reasons you haven't conceived yet." He told her, pulling out a fresh needle and gloves from one of his desk drawers. "I'm going to take some blood from you, Hannah, and we'll go from there."
He wrapped a rubber band over her right arm and asked her to relax as he injected the needle and filled a little vial with her blood. Michael dipped his healer's quill into the vial.
"Sanguis revelio," he muttered.
The quill set itself to writing out the results of her blood work. He asked a few more questions about the regularity of her cycle and when was the last time she had her period. Michael's brow furrowed as he scanned the results from the blood tests. He had the textbook opened in one hand and was glancing back and forth to compare the results. "Your hormone levels are off for where you should be in your cycle though. You're not ovulating normally, there's probably months when you didn't release an egg at all."
"So what do we do?" Neville asked. His hand found hers again, intertwining their fingers as they both waited for the answer.
"You can go home and keep trying naturally. It'll take a little longer, but I wouldn't rule that out. Or there's a mild form of the fertility potion that will help Hannah regulate her cycle more normally. Similar to how the contraception potion helps maintain it, although this one doesn't prevent the egg from being released."
"And what if this doesn't work?" Hannah asked.
"There are other options if we need them, or if you wanted to look at them. I do have to warn you, couples who use fertility potions have a greater chance of multiple births."
"I wouldn't mind having twins," Hannah murmured.
"There's also triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets – " Michael listed off, letting the last word hang in the air. "About twenty percent of couples have multiple children with these potions, and less than five percent have more than two at once. The odds are very small, but just so there are no extra surprises."
Neville nodded. "We can talk about that if it happens. We both wanted more than one anyway, but it's been so hard for us just to conceive so far."
Three had been the number of children they had talked about in the beginning, but Hannah would give her wand arm up just to have one healthy baby now. Neither wanted to get their hopes up even more.
"It wouldn't hurt to try the potion," Hannah said, looking towards Neville. "Right?"
"If that's what you want to do."
Michael pulled out a fancy scroll of parchment and filled out a prescription and daily instructions, explaining as he did so. He signed his name at the bottom, rolled it up and passed it to Hannah. "Start taking it the first day of your period. Owl me the day you start and I'll get you back here to check your blood again. We'll see if I have to adjust the strength of the potion, but this should do it."
xXxXx
True to his word, Michael met with Hannah on the first day of her cycle every month. At the beginning of March she found herself in his office again, waiting for him to check over her hormone levels. Last month he said they looked promising, so the strength of the fertility potion must be fine.
Hannah scanned some of the titles of the books on Michael's shelves as he reviewed the blood work. Magical Anatomy, Muggle Medical Mysteries, The Healer's Handbook -
"That was fast," muttered Michael. He was smiling as he looked up from the parchment. "You're four weeks pregnant."
Hannah's hand floated down to her stomach in shock. "You're sure?"
Michael looked amused. "Of course I'm sure."
"But there was blood this morning," Hannah fretted. What if she lost the baby just as quickly as she learned she had one?
"A little spotting is normal," Michael gently replied. "There's a baby in there, and he's doing just fine."
Hannah timidly touched her stomach, flattening her hand against it. She couldn't feel anything, although the baby was still really tiny and her stomach had never been perfectly flat. But her and Neville's child was growing somewhere in there. She smiled as she added, "Or she."
"Or she," he amended. "Now, there are some things we should talk about to take care of you and the baby, why don't you take a seat?"