To my anonymous reviewers: Disney V. – I wish I could converse with you. Holl- Wow. I am humbled. That's a lot to read in one sitting. Thank you. Ian4ever – I can't answer your questions because I can't e-mail you.

To the rest of my loyal gang. I love you guys!

FRUSTRATION

I woke to the sounds of birds chirping happily outside the window. Thankfully, Ian was still lying in the bed although he was wrapped very tightly around me and I couldn't move. Today was Tuesday. Tomorrow my special gift would be arriving. I tried to twist my way out of Ian's grip but he just tightened it even more.

"Where do you think you're going?" He had been awake.

"I need to go to the bathroom?" He released me. "I'll be right back."

When I returned Ian was still lounging in the bed. "Aren't you going to get up?"

"No, I thought I'd stay in bed all day." This was so not like Ian.

"Are you not feeling well?"

"I'm okay. I'm just in the mood." He was sulking.

I climbed under the covers and snuggled up to him. "We have a lot to do today."

"Like?"

"Like, we need to finish those dugouts because tomorrow my gift will arrive. On Thursday, we should go to Irving and start getting the supplies for the buildings. Will you come with me?" I was hoping to get a little excitement from him.

He spoke in a flat voice. "I guess."

"Well. I figured if left tomorrow night, we could take a room somewhere. That way, I could leave you there while I purchase the wood and have it loaded into the van. I don't need another 'Ice' fiasco."

"I thought you liked Ice."

"I do. But what if he hadn't been single? What if he had a family and we had ripped him from that? How sad would that have been for him?"

"You had a family back there when Jared nabbed you. Does it make you sad to be away from them?" Ian wondered.

"Sometimes. My Mom was always busy but my Dad loved to spoil me. But I have my new family now."

Ian seemed satisfied with my answer.

"What about you? Do you miss your parents?" I was curious. Kyle had said that Ian was close to his mother.

"Yes. I miss my Mom a lot. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks I'm dead. I wonder if like Melanie, she fights to stay alive hoping to one day see me again. It kills me not knowing, although I guess after six years even if she was in there, she probably would have given up hope long ago." He looked so sad. I distracted myself by running my fingers through the hair at his forehead.

"At least you still have Kyle."

'Yeah, pain in the butt that he is."

"He's really changed though, don't you think?"

"Because of you."

I smiled. "I'd like to think that I might have had something to do with it."

"Wanderer, you have a profound effect on everyone you touch. That's why I feel like I don't deserve you."

"Well, I say you do."

He rose up into a sitting position. "I'm sorry that sometimes I get mean and order you around."

"Well, I do it too. I think I'm just more subtle about it." He scooted towards my face and he kissed me. It was definitely the slow burn kiss. After a minute he kissed my neck and I knew where he was going with this.

"Ian, not today, you need to get up… and that's an order." I smiled.

He groaned.

"Come on, Superman. Move it." I giggled.

Jamie was already up and gone. After eating a bagel and cereal, Ian and I headed to the cave and retrieved the tools he needed. We worked together and before long the first dugout was nearly completed. It had three walls. The work that Kyle and the others started was a great help. Everything was already cut to size and the posts had already been cemented into the ground. Ian was very patient with me.

"We make a good team." I announced proudly.

"Yep. All we need is shingles on this one."

"You want to take a break?" I asked.

"Naw, you?"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"You want me to come with you?"

I thought if I ran into Nate, then I could talk to him and Ian wouldn't know, but that would be dishonest.

"What if I run into Nate?" I would leave it up to him.

"I'll come with you." He took me by the hand and we walked towards the house.

"You know; I can't never talk to Nate."

Ian didn't respond. He just squeezed my hand tighter in his. We walked in silence the rest of the way. I could only assume that he figured if he didn't speak then we couldn't fight about it.

Back at the house, Ian grabbed a couple of flavored waters out of the fridge. When I came out of the bathroom, he handed me one. "Let's go."

I didn't question him. I reached for his hand and he lead me back to the field. We started on the second dugout. He issued orders and I obeyed. I was getting tired of the silence so I decided to try a new subject.

"Ian?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I have a big wedding?"

"What do you mean by big? There's only but fifty five people between the two clans."

"I mean maid of honor, best man, bride's maids, ushers, gowns, the whole enchilada."

"What brought this on?"

"What do you mean? I've dreamed of my wedding since I was a little girl. Daddy promised me anything I want." I realized I was speaking of Pet's wishes and memories.

Ian raised his eyebrow. "Wanderer, are you alone in there?"

"Yes, it's just that when Pet was in this body she was pretty spoiled. I know I can't expect those things that she had but I really want our wedding to be perfect."

Ian sighed. "Tell me what would make it perfect."

"Well, you in a tux for starters."

He groaned. "Can't I just wear a suit?"

"Absolutely not, Ian O'Shea! Which reminds me, do you have a middle name?"

"Thomas. After my father."

"Ian Thomas O'Shea. I like that."

We continued to work while we talked. The back side of the second dugout was already secured in place.

"So, besides this monkey suit that you want me to wear, what are your other demands?"

"Wishes." I corrected him.

"What?"

"They are not demands. They are wishes. It's my wedding wish list. But if it's too much for you to handle to make your bride the happiest woman on the planet on her wedding day, then just forget it. We can have a little ceremony and be done with it."

"Ah. The guilt trip." I couldn't fool him.

"Is it working?"

"Nope."

I was so angry I pushed him and he laughed at me. "Babydoll, I thought I made you the happiest woman on the planet."

I took a stab back at him. "Me and what? Fifty other women?"

"Touché."

I was livid at his nonchalance. I took off my ring and held it out to him.

"You best put that back on because I won't give it back to you," he said bluntly.

I was fuming now. I hated that I had no power at all over him.

He took the ring and put it back on my hand. "Babydoll, you know you can have whatever kind of wedding you want. I was just messing with you."

My hormones that I had hoped to keep at bay took over and my brain snapped. "You were messing with me over my wedding day?" I took the hammer in my hand and I threw it as hard as I could. It landed near second base.

"Now, what did you go and do that for?" he said calmly.

"Cause I wanted to throw it at you!" I was holding back the tears of frustration. Ian came over and tried to put his arms around me.

I pushed him off.

"Come on, Babe."

"NO!" I growled although my growl was more like a purr.

"Look, I'll even go pick up the hammer you threw." He marched off to second base. I hated that everything that was important to him was top priority and my dreams were a game to him.

"SCREW YOU, IAN!" I shouted after him. He didn't turn around. That's when I saw Nate entering the far end of the outfield and he was headed our way. Great! More complications. Just what I needed. Ian picked up the hammer and walked quickly back to me.

"Wanderer, I know you are angry, but please let this go right now. Nate does not need to know anything about this." He came up and put his arms around me and I let him because he was right. Nate didn't need t know our business. He kissed the top of my head. "Thank you."

"EXCUSE ME!" Nate shouted out as he crossed the infield. "I hate to break up your love fest but would you mind telling me why I was not informed of this special delivery that is supposed to be coming tomorrow?"

Ian did the talking. "Yeah, sorry about that. It seems that Wanderer purchased a gift for everyone and it needed to be delivered. I was going to tell you about it at lunch."

"Well, what is it?" Nate wanted to know.

"I don't know. She isn't talking." Perfect. He just gave the excuse he needed to keep me from talking. I just raised my hands and hunched my shoulders.

Nate creased is eyebrows together. He directed his question at me. "So, no one can go to the house all day?"

Ian answered again pulling Nate's attention from me to him. "She said it should be here between nine in the morning and noon."

Nate again looked at me. I could see the frustration in his eyes. He turned back to Ian. "Okay, I'll make sure everyone knows. Pull the shades tonight before you go to bed and make sure Jamie stays in his room."

"Okay, we will. I might just take Jamie and head down to the cave early."

"Okay." Nate glanced at me again. I was dying. Nate turned to walk away. I couldn't be silent any longer.

"Nate!" I called. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me. "Thank you for being understanding about this. I hope you'll like the gift."

He smiled. "I'm sure I will if you picked it out." He waved to me and I smiled at him and raised my hand to him. He turned and walked away.

Ian's eyes bore into me and he looked like he was on fire. I picked up my hammer. "Let's finish this."

He didn't move. He was frozen like a stone. I was waiting for the explosion. His hands were clenched and his shoulders were rigid. I figured he was fighting the urge to kill me. I thought holding the hammer was a good thing because I might need it to defend myself. I acted nonchalant. "Ian, grab that board. I want to finish this."

He finally found his tongue. "Why did you do that?"

I stood my ground. "Why did I do what?"

"Why did you disobey a direct order?"

I immediately thought to myself, when did I join the army? I had no intentions on backing down. "I can talk to whoever I want. You don't own me, regardless of what you think." There. I said it. I could hear my heart slamming against the walls of my chest. I was bracing myself for the onslaught.

He grabbed a piece of plywood and walked it to where we needed to hammer it in. "This isn't over." He hissed.

I was scared but I didn't want to show it. I tried to be glib about the whole thing. "I hope it's not over. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you."

I got no response. He hammered the crap out of those nails while I held the board in place. I imagined each nail being my frail silver body. I winced every time the hammer hit.

I thought I might try a different approach. "If you want I could start putting the shingles on the roof."

"Do you know how to put shingles on a roof?" he said dryly.

"How hard could it be?"

He took a deep breath. "Okay, come on, I'll show you."

I followed him to the other dugout. He carried the ladder over and set it up.

"Climb up and get on the roof."

I carefully did as I was told. He took a partial pack of shingles and flung it up on the roof. Then he handed me a bag of nails. He climbed the ladder but did not get on the roof. "Hand me a couple of shingles," he said gruffly.

"Please?" I prompted him.

He raised his eyebrows and huffed. "Please."

I handed him what he needed. "Here you go."

"Now watch how I do it." He showed me the placement of the shingles and where the nails needed to be driven. He hammered in two shingles. "You got that?"

"Yes."

"When you get to the second row, call me and I will show you how they go. Do not try to climb off the roof by yourself. I don't need you breaking your neck."

"Okay." He didn't seem angry anymore but he was rather cold. Screaming and yelling I could deal with. I hated when he was cold. "Ian?"

"What?" He was snippy.

I wanted to say something but I thought better of it. "Nothing." I bit my lower lip hard.

He looked at me. "That's my lip you're biting."

It was definitely an opening. I gave him a shy look and smiled. "You want to bite it?"

"You're not going to fall off that roof, are you?"

"My fiancé won't let me." I said in my little girl voice.

He took another step up the ladder and leaned in to kiss me. I grabbed his face and turned my head to make it easier for him. As our lips met, my heart thumped loudly and when our tongues entwined, I felt lightheaded. It was such a relief to feel his lips on mine. They were so warm and passionate. One thing about Ian, if he kissed you, it was always worth it. He nibbled on my lower lip before he stopped.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"This still isn't over." He warned.

I couldn't believe it. "Oh, come on!"

"We are not going to talk about this now. You have a roof to finish." He jumped off the ladder and took it with him. Rather than argue, I got to work. Putting on a roof was harder than I thought. I couldn't stand up because the roof pitched sharply from front to back. If I fell, I would definitely roll right off. I finished the first row just as Ian was starting his on the other dugout.

"Ian! I finished the first row," I called out to him.

He carried the ladder back to me and climbed up. "Okay, second row goes like this." He placed the shingle where it needed to go. "You see how much it needs to overlap?"

"Yes."

"Okay, you're doing good. Keep it up and we can finish this thing."

"Okay."

"Love you, Babe." I hated when he called me 'Babe' but he seemed sincere so I didn't say anything.

He took the ladder back with him. It didn't take long for him to catch up to where I was. He was so much stronger that he could easily place two shingles in the time it took me to place one. It was hot as hell on that roof. I was sweating and my hair was sticking to me. I took it and wrapped into a knot behind my head. I wasn't sure but I think I was also getting a sun burn on my arms and legs. This was tedious and exhausting. Who would want to do this for a living?

It was well past lunch now. Ian finished his dugout and I still had two rows to go. I thought he would come over and help me but he didn't. He threw the last of the shingles up on my roof and went to go lay down under a tree. I was stuck up there because I couldn't get down. This was obviously his way of punishing me for talking to Nate.

After another half hour, I still had most of the last row to go. My hands and arms were killing me. Ian yelled out. "Are you done yet?" I was exhausted and burnt. I threw the hammer to the ground and lay down on top of the roof and started to cry. He had broken me yet again.

He got up and carried the ladder over to the dugout. "Come on." I dragged my tired body down the ladder as Ian guided me. When I got to the bottom, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the house. I didn't say a word. I felt defeated. I just wrapped my arms around his neck and hung on. When we approached the steps he said. "Shower or bed?"

"Shower."

He put me down in the bathroom and started the shower. He grabbed a towel and placed it outside the shower. He went to the bedroom and got my robe.

"You did a good job. I'm proud of you. I'm going to go back and finish."

As I stood in the shower I was so confused. Where was he trying to go with this? I had to think. Okay, he is pissed about me talking to Nate. I said he couldn't tell me who I could talk to. He said it wasn't over. He was mean to me, then he was nice to me, and then he was mean to me, and then he was nice again. I don't get it. I was tired. I dragged myself out of the shower and plopped on the bed in my robe and fell asleep.

When I woke up I was covered with a blanket. I sat up and my stomach was growling. I smelled food. I went into the kitchen and Maria, Kim, and Aunt Sue were busy frying up a several pans of Fajitas. It seems they were preparing a Mexican feast for the night. I grabbed a couple of chips and some Salsa. "Have you seen Ian this afternoon?"

Kim spoke. "He was here for a while but then Carlos came and they went together to the field for practice. They should be back soon to wash up for dinner."

I took my chips and salsa and got comfy on the couch. Nate came in and made a beeline for me. He sat down in the chair next to me.

He didn't look at me when he spoke. "So, how are things?"

"Fine."

"You don't talk to me much anymore." He paused. "Not that I blame you."

"Yeah." I didn't know what to say.

Now he turned to me. "You see, the thing is….maybe I'm wrong but I feel like Ian doesn't want you to talk to me."

"Gee. You're perceptive." I said sarcastically.

"I miss talking to you."

"I know, I miss talking to you too, but what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. I guess this is my fault."

"Yeah, it kinda is," I reiterated.

He reached out and touched my hand. "Look, I know that you and Ian are meant to be together and I'm sorry about what happened. I should have respected the boundaries and I didn't. I love you. I think I have since the first time I met you. I know I can't have you in that way but I would at least like to be your friend. I hate to think of life without you."

"Well, I could be here six months out of the year."

"What? I don't understand."

"Ian and I want to live here in the spring and summer and live in the caverns in the fall and winter. I just need you to agree to it."

We didn't hear Ian come through the back door. He stood just six feet away and witnessed our intense conversation and Nate with his hand on mine.

Ian turned and walked back out the door.

"Crap."

Nate tried to be helpful. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"No. I need to do this." I ran into the bedroom and threw on some clothes. I bolted out the door. Ian was no where in sight.

I checked the root cellar. He wasn't there. I headed for the caves. I saw Megan and Jamie. "Did you see Ian?"

"Yeah, he was running towards the baseball field."

I ran to the field. As I approached from the far side I could see that he was standing on the pitchers mound throwing pitch after pitch at the backstop. When I got closer he was collecting the balls he had already thrown and tossing them into a bucket. I went to help him collect them. "Don't touch them." He growled.

I backed off and went and sat in the dugout. I watched him pitch in silence for two hours while my stomach growled from hunger. I had missed both lunch and dinner. Finally he sat down on the pitcher's mound and he put his head in his hands and he cried. I let him cry. In those two hours I figured out that Ian was so conflicted that he didn't know what to do. That's why he punished me and then he was nice. He couldn't figure out how to control me. The problem was that he hadn't figured out that he shouldn't try to control me at all.

Eventually I got up and walked to where he was sitting. I sat down in front of him a few feet away. I was cool as a cucumber. I needed to be if I was going to work this out with him.

I asked him straight out. "Do you want to break up with me?"

"I don't know." He said through his tears.

"Yes, you do know. It's either yes or no. What do you want?"

"I want you to love me forever," he said sadly.

"Done." I was calm.

"I don't want you talking to Nate," he said adamantly.

"I can't do that."

His voice hitched. "Why?"

"Ian, hear me out. Nate is a part of our lives. I know you can't see it right now but he will be very important to us….to our family. He will protect our children. We need him in our lives. We need every person we know to help us survive. To help us raise our kids. And I want to have your children. I will make a deal with you. I will not seek out Nate to hang around with but if he comes to me, I will not ignore him. I will treat him as my friend and nothing more. If he ever tries anything inappropriate I will take whatever means necessary to stop him and I will tell you immediately."

"Where is the deal in that?" he asked.

"If you agree to this, and that means no fights with me about it, then I promise to go off of birth control as soon as I am your wife."

He looked deeply into my eyes. "You mean it? You could be a mother in a year."

"Yes. I mean it. Now I have compromised on every issue. The wedding will be here as you wanted it. We will live here six months out of the year. You will be a Dad sooner than you think. All I ask in return is to let me choose my own friends and that includes Nate."

Ian scooted towards me until we were sitting inches away from each other. He put his hand on my cheek, but he still didn't say anything.

"Say yes, Ian."

"But Nate."

I refused to budge on this issue. "Nate is my friend. You can't have everything. It's not fair to me. If you can't let go of this, it will drive a wedge between us. Do you want to destroy us?" He was looking into my eyes searching for an answer. I was getting impatient.

"Look, I'm starving. You should stay here and think about what it is you want."

"No! I want this as much as you. It's just that I can't promise that I can turn a blind eye to you and Nate…but I will try."

"How hard will you try?" I needed him to give me a commitment.

"Very hard. I'll even accept him performing the ceremony."

"Are you crazy? Nate is not going to marry us!"

"He is the leader here. If he doesn't do it, then who?" He was at a loss.

"That's easy. The man who saved my life and made being here with you possible. Jeb."

Ian smiled. "Jeb. That's perfect." He leaned in and put his forehead against mine. "You are going to be a great mom."

I corrected him. "I'll be a young mom."

Ian pressed his lips to mine. It was a tender kiss. He didn't nibble my lips. He tasted them. His tongue was so delicate. He stroked his way into my mouth. My head was swimming. When he tried to stop I wouldn't let him. So, he chuckled and kissed me some more. It was his rumbling stomach that finally did us in. I started laughing and we couldn't concentrate on the kiss anymore.

"We missed dinner."

"And lunch." I added.

"Let's go home and see what we can scavenge." We gathered up the baseballs and threw them into the bucket with his glove and placed it in the back of the dugout for safe keeping. It was nearly dark and it was a beautiful summer night. The stars were starting to glisten in the sky. We walked with our arms around each other.

"So, what should we name our first child?" Ian asked.

"I'm not even pregnant yet!" He swung me around and kissed me again.

"I'm just happy."

I smiled at him. "I'm glad."

When we got back to the house, there was a note taped to the bedroom door. It was from Nate. Ian opened it and we read it together.

Dear Ian & Wanderer,

I write this letter with heavy heart because I am concerned about your relationship. I realize that I am the source of all your problems and I wish to apologize to both of you .Wanderer has told me that you both would like to establish a permanent residence for the spring and summer months each year as husband and wife. I would like nothing more than to welcome you both with open arms. Ian would be a strong addition to our family and Wanderer's assets are obvious. However, if my presence continues to cause such discord between you, I will need to decline your request. I cannot in good conscience promise that I can sever my friendship with Wanderer. My feelings for her run too deep. I hope and pray over the summer that we can resolve this issue. I will do my best to try not to be a source of contention. However, if you wish to speak to me, I would welcome it.

Nate.

Ian could see immediately how this news had affected me. I turned and walked silently towards the kitchen. Ian grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "I'm sorry Babydoll. We'll go talk to him tomorrow. I need my family to be able to live and grow here and it's obvious that Nate is at peace with our relationship." I wrapped my arms around Ian and sobbed all the tears that I had been holding in since Ian had caught me and Nate talking right here in this room. I had tried to be so strong and now I just crumbled.

"It's okay." He stroked my face. "Come on, you need to eat." Ian escorted me into the kitchen and he rummaged through the fridge. Luckily, there were leftovers from tonight's fajitas. I pulled myself together while the fajitas were heating in the microwave. We ate until we were about to burst. Once our bellies were full, exhaustion had set in for Ian. We went to the couch to watch TV. Ian lay with his head in my lap. I stroked his hair while I watched the program. Ian has out cold in ten minutes. When the show was over I tried to wake him.

"Ian?" He didn't move. I shook him gently. "Ian, you have to get up."

"Mom, I'm tired." He was dreaming about his Mom. I didn't want to wake him from that. I slid out from under his head. It was late and Jamie had not returned yet. I ran to the cave and found Jamie and Megan just outside kissing each other. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

They stopped kissing and Jamie backed up immediately. "I'm sorry Wanda. I was just on my way back. I swear."

"Uh huh. Tell Megan you will see her tomorrow." I spoke with authority.

Jamie turned to Megan and grabbed her hand. "See you tomorrow." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Bye Wanda. I'm excited about the surprise," Megan said in her sweet voice.

"Thanks Megan. I hope you like it."

"Well, I like Jamie and he's the last surprise you brought home," she joked.

"Technically, Ice was the last surprise I brought home."

"Oh yeah, well, I liked him too." We all laughed.

"Good night Megan."

Jamie and I headed back to the house.

"Does Burns have an alarm clock in his room?" I asked.

"Yes, I think so." Jamie replied.

"You need to set it for 8:00 AM. I want to make sure you and Ian are out by 8:30 to be on the safe side."

"Okay."

When we returned I pulled the shades as Nate had instructed. Ian was still passed out on the couch. I couldn't leave him there. I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He opened his eyes. He was disoriented. "Come on. Let's go to bed." I pulled on his arm and he got up slowly. I guided him half asleep to the bedroom. He plopped into the bed as soon as he saw it. He grabbed his pillow and immediately fell asleep on his stomach. He looked like a big kid. I crawled in next to him and fell asleep quickly.