Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

Chapter Seveteen

Did that really just happen?

I leaned back against the door of my truck in a daze. My head was spinning, and my body was still buzzing because of Edward. I let out a deep, shaky, breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I felt as if I were caught in the middle of one of my Edward filled dreams, it didn't feel real.

He just apologized for being a dick, I thought to myself. Maybe he's not that much of an ass after all.

My heart was still pounding loudly in my ears, and I was having trouble breathing. I should've been alarmed at the effect he had on me, but I wasn't. In that moment all I could think about was Edward. I wanted to talk with Edward, I wanted to be around Edward, I wanted Edward.

I let out a deep, exasperated sigh and ran a trembling hand through my hair, I couldn't help the small smile that formed itself on my face. Wow, just wow. What just happened, oh my God.

"Bella!" I jumped as Renesmee's voice brought me out of my thoughts. Still slightly dazed, I glanced up at her. She was wearing a big shit eating grin on her face as she moved to stand in front of me.

"Dude!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. "That was fucking awesome!"

"Huh?" I replied lamely.

"That was such a rush! Oh my God so awesome, you sounded fucking great. Oh my gosh, Embry was so good. Oh my God, what the fuck holy shit. So awesome," she gushed.

I was still in an Edward filled daze, and I was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on Renesmee's words. I stared blankly at her, a smile on my face. I couldn't keep my mind away from Edward.

"Bella!" she shouted, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Hello! Earth to Bella!"

I snapped out of the daze I was in and brought my eyes up to meet hers. "Are you down?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow at her, "down for what?"

"Quil, Embry and I are going back to La Push to celebrate, you coming or what?"

I heard the door of the shop swing open, I glanced up as Quil and Embry entered the parking lot.

"Come on Bella! Let's do shots!" Embry exclaimed and I grinned. Shots? I can do some shots.

"Yeah man!" I laughed, "let's go!" I opened the door to my truck and quickly hopped into the cab. On the way back to La Push, Embry stopped at the liquor store and picked up a few bottles of Vodka, and Jack Daniel's along with a twenty-four pack of Bud Light.

The four of us headed back to Embry's place for a small get together. I pulled the truck into his driveway next to Renesmee's car, making sure to grab my cigarettes and a lighter as I stepped out.

I practically skipped up Embry's front porch steps and pushed open the door. I noticed Embry, Quil, and Rensmee all sitting in a circle on the living room floor around the coffee table. I couldn't help but grin as I sat down next to Renesmee, and crossed my legs.

Embry reached behind him and placed four shot glasses on the table before reaching into a brown paper bag and pulling out a fifth of Cotton Candy flavored Pinnacle Vodka. He filled each glass with the clear liquid and sat the bottle down on the floor next to him.

"Alright, let's do this" he grinned, picking up one of the glasses. He motioned with his hand for us to pick up a glass. We each picked a glass from the table, I brought the shot glass to my face and took a whiff of the alcohol.

"That was a fuck-awesome performance!" Quil exclaimed as he raised his glass. Embry, Renesmee and I raised our glasses and clinked them together. "Hell yeah it was!" Embry added. We all smiled at each other before we threw our shots back and downed the liquid.

I winced as the Vodka ran down my throat, and coughed at the sweet-ish, alcohol twinged flavor. "Why the fuck did you get cotton candy flavored?" I groaned as I sat the shot glass back on the table.

Embry laughed and pointed a finger at Quil, "he likes the fruity shit."

Renesmee and I giggled as Quil blushed lightly and slammed his glass back down on the table.

"Judge me if you want," he said, reaching for the bottle and pouring the group another round of shots. "Again?" he questioned.

"Again!" Embry, Renesmee and I exclaimed in unison.

~ooOoo~

As the night progressed more people showed up to Embry's. What started out as a small friendly get together, managed to turn into a huge house party. People from the reservation showed up, and with them they brought more alcohol. Some people from Forks even turned up, who also brought more alcohol.

The atmosphere was buzzing with energy as music blared loudly from a pair of speakers, and people stumbled drunkenly around Embry's house, I loved how light and happy the party atmosphere felt.

I wasn't sure if I should've been embarrassed about how fucking drunk I actually was, but in that particular moment I didn't really care.

I was sitting on Embry's living room couch with a fresh bottle of Jack Daniel's in my hand, next to Renesmee, who was currently doing body shots off of Jacob. I stared openly at them, watching as she greedily licked a line of salt from Jacob's collar-bone. I wondered what it would be like to lick a line of salt from Edward's collar-bone. I wondered what it would be like to lick anything from any part of Edward's body.

His skin would feel like pure satin beneath my tongue, I was sure of it. I decided then, that I wanted to lick Edward. Actually, I wanted to do a lot more than lick him. I wanted to lick, bite, and nibble every part of him as he ravished my girly bits with his cock.

I leaned back into the couch, suddenly wishing that Edward was here with me so that I could straddle him and do wicked things to his body. In my drunken haze, I allowed myself to imagine how it would feel to have him push me roughly against a wall, greedily running his gorgeous hands over my curves.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as waves of arousal lapped over me. God, I'm so fucking horny.

From across the room Embry laughed loudly at me and winked. Did I say that out loud? I giggled softly to myself, taking a long gulp from the bottle of Jack. I barely noticed the burn of the liquid, all thanks to my drunken state.

It all starts to taste like water after a certain point, I thought to myself and giggled again.

"Damn," I slurred "I have to fuckin' piss". I slowly pushed myself off the couch, somehow managing to make it up the stairs to the bathroom without falling over. As gingerly as I could, I placed the open bottle of whiskey on the edge of the sink, and pulled down my pants, plopping down on the toilet.

When I finished, I carefully stood and pulled my pants up. I grabbed the bottle from the sink, and stumbled backwards a bit. I fell backwards into the bathtub, and bumped my head against the tile.

"Owwies," I whined, taking another swig of Jack. I didn't bother making an attempt to get up, I was actually quite comfortable here in the bathtub, all alone in the dark with my lovely bottle of Jack Daniel's.

I placed the bottle tightly between my thighs, and reached into my pockets, searching for my cigarettes. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found the pack in my back pocket. I smiled triumphantly to myself as I pulled a slightly squished Newport 100 from the box. I placed the flattened filter between my lips and brought the lighter to my face. I took a lazy first hit, taking another drink of whiskey as I exhaled the smoke.

I am living the life man. Whiskey and cigarettes are all I fucking need.

It didn't matter that I was actually pretty lonely because in that moment I had Mr. Jack Daniel's keeping me company for the night. I took another hit from the cigarette, and allowed my thoughts to drift to wherever the fuck they wanted.

I wondered what Jasper and Alice were doing right now, where they together? Probably. Were they having hot sex? Probably. Were they thinking about how badly they betrayed me? Probably not. I brought the bottle to my lips, greedily downing more of the brown liquid.

Fuckin' assholes, I thought angrily. They're all pieces of shit.

My thoughts drifted to Rosalie. I felt a sharp pang of hurt at the thought of my sister. I could have lost her forever. I loved my sister, she was everything to me. I wondered if she was happy here with me. I wondered if she missed her home in Phoenix - did she miss Renée? Did Renée miss her? I didn't even know if Rosalie kept in contact with our mother after she moved back to Forks.

I wondered what Renée was doing right now. I wondered if she thought of me at all, I wondered why she left in the first place. What drove her to leave, take my sister with her and never look back? Were Charlie and I not good enough for her?

I frowned at the thought of Charlie. Damn I miss him. I remember when I started playing the guitar. It was Charlie who taught me. He had an old crappy acoustic stuffed away in the basement, I found it and instantly knew that I wanted to learn. I remembered how I brought the worn down instrument up to my dad, begging him to teach me. He quickly agreed, he was more than happy to.

He sat me down on the couch with him, taught me how to play my first chord and I was hooked ever since. I was nine. I wrote my first song when I was eleven. Charlie had always been supportive of my love of music. He never talked down to me, he always encouraged me to do what I loved.

He was a great father. I hoped that from where ever he was, he was looking down on me and smiling. I wanted nothing more than to make him proud.

I puffed the cigarette again and sighed. Damn, I'm depressed and fuckin' drunk. I downed more of the alcohol, wondering how the hell my life had come to this; laying in a drunken heap, with a bottle of Jack in Embry's bathtub. I could've laughed.

I heard the bathroom door swing open, bringing me out of my thoughts. Quil stumbled into the room, wearing a huge drunken grin on his face. "Bella is that you?" he slurred, making his way over to me.

I smiled warmly at him, "hi Quil."

"Why are you in the bathtub?" he questioned.

"S'comfy," I slurred in response. He raised an eyebrow at me, "oh yeah?" he chuckled. "Is there room for me?"

I nodded vigorously and scooted over to the far end of the tub. "Of course," I smiled, and patted the space next to me. I giggled as he crawled up into the tub and plopped down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

I sighed deeply, relaxing further into the tub. I took another hit from the cigarette that was still burning in my hand, and took another drink from my bottle.

"You seem down in the dumps," Quil commented, making himself comfortable.

I shrugged my shoulders and rested my head on top of his. "You could say that".

"Tell me everything," he said, snuggling into my side.

I sighed deeply, taking a final hit from the cigarette before putting it out on the edge of the tub and throwing the butt somewhere in the bathroom. I ran my hand through my hair, and took another swig of whiskey.

I was too drunk to filter my words so I did what he asked and told him everything. I told him about Renée, the way she left and never looked back. I told him about Charlie's death and the way it still effects me. I told him about Jasper and Alice, and the way he looks at her. I expressed my concerns about Rosalie, I even told him about Edward.

By the time I finished telling him my entire life story I was crying. "My life's so fucked up," I croaked and took another large swig of Jack. Quil grabbed my hand, and rubbed soothing circles on my palms with his fingers.

"I don't even know why I care anymore," I confessed, my speach slurring.

"My parents left too," he commented quietly. I turned to face him, "damn, I'm sorry."

"S'okay, I have my grandparents" he said, a small smile formed itself on his face. "They're pretty great."

"What happened to your parents?" I questioned, and snuggled into his side.

"My mom's an alcoholic and my dad has a gambling problem, they dumped me with my grandparents when I was twelve," he explained and my heart broke for him.

"That's terrible," I whispered, taking another drink from my dwindling bottle of whiskey.

I felt him shrug his shoulders and sigh, "yeah but shit happens dude".

I nodded my head and offered my bottle to him. He took the bottle from me and brought it to his lips. He took a large gulp and I giggled as he coughed.

"Everyone leaves eventually," I slurred, taking the bottle back from him. "So fuck it," I said and downed more of the liquid.

He ran his fingers through my hair, and smiled sadly. "Not everyone leaves Bella, and the ones that do, fuck 'em because in the end the ones that matter are always there."

~ooOoo~

I groaned loudly when I woke up the next morning. What the fuck happened last night? I sat up and looked around, how did I get in the bathtub? I noticed Quil curled up in a ball, sleeping soundly at the foot of the tub. I vaguely remembered our conversation last night, we had a drunken heart to heart in Embry's bathtub. How classy of us.

I managed to crawl out of the tub, and whined as the room spun violently around me. God, I feel like shit. I made my way over to the mirror and frowned at my reflection. My hair was a mess, it was full of knots and strands were sticking out haphazardly in all directions, it looked like a haystack on top of my head and my eyes were swollen and blood-shot.

I didn't look any better than I felt.

Slowly, I made my way downstairs. The house was completely trashed. I noticed Renesmee curled up on Jacob's lap, a monsterous pile of empty beer cans surrounding them. I couldn't help but smile at how cute they looked. When I entered the kitchen, I noticed Embry sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands.

He motioned for me to sit down in the seat next to him and handed me a fresh cup of coffee. "Dude..." I trailed off, taking a small sip of the java.

"Last night was insane," he finished for me. I nodded my head in agreement, and patted my pockets in search of my cigarettes. Embry smirked at me, and lifted an un-opened pack of Newport 100's, and a lighter in the air.

I grinned at him, greedily snatching the cigarettes and lighter from him. "I figured you might need some more cancer sticks," he chuckled.

"Aw, you're too kind" I cooed. I quickly opened the pack and popped a cigarette between my lips, and lit it. I took a long first drag and groaned as a sudden wave of nausea rolled through me. I stood up and hastily stumbled over to the trashcan. I barely made it to the trash before I started blowing chunks everywhere.

"Shit," I mumbled, wrinkling my nose at the putrid smell "that's disgusting".

"I'm almost thankful that you just puked everywhere," Embry commented from his spot at the table. "No one should be able consume alcohol the way you do and not throw up, you're a fucking machine."

I groaned in response and made my way over to the sink. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and filled it with tap water. I swished my mouth out with water, trying to dilute the throw up aftertaste. With the glass in hand I made way back to the table and returned to my seat.

Embry handed me a bottle of Aspirin and took a large gulp of his coffee. I smiled gratefully at him, and popped two of the pills. Wryly I took another hit from the cigarette, thankful that I wasn't hit with another wave of nausea.

"That wasn't supposed to turn into a party," Embry said and grinned. "But damn, it was fucking awesome."

I chuckled, "yeah, awesome indeed."

~ooOoo~

By the time Monday rolled around I was feeling much better. I was thankful that my hangover hadn't lasted for more than one day. I pulled my beat up Chevy into the Forks High School parking lot, leaving the radio on as I shut off the ignition. I nodded my head to the beat of the music, and took a long drag from my cigarette. I made no move to get out as my eyes darted around the lot, searching for a certain black Harley Davidson.

I couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed through me when I realized Edward wasn't here today. Sighing, I shut of the radio and grabbed my bag before stepping out of the truck. I noticed Angela park her silver mini van a few spaces down from me and I smiled.

"Hey Ange!" I called as I walked towards her. She greeted me with a warm smile, and swung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Hi Bells," she said cheerily. I took another hit from the cigarette and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you on Saturday," she grinned "but, you were pretty great up there."

"Thanks," I said sheepishly, and blushed a light pink.

"Always so humble," she chuckled. I rolled my eyes at her and took a final hit from the cigarette, throwing the filter across the lot. With both groaned when the bell rang, signaling that we were late for class. We rushed off to Mr. Varner's classroom, thanking God that he didn't notice us sneaking over to our seats.

The first half of the day passed by fairly quickly, for which I was thankful. I wanted to get to biology in hopes that Edward decided to attend class today. Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch, I quietly snuck out of the building, making my way over to the courtyard for a smoke.

I pulled the cigarettes from my bag, and slid a Newport 100 from the box, carefully placing the filter between my lips. I brought the lighter to my face, and lit it. I sighed in contentment as I took a long first drag. I leaned back against the side of the building and closed my eyes, taking another hit from the cigarette.

I jumped when I felt someone crash into me, and push me up against the side of the building. My eyes snapped open, and I was met with a pair of sparkling emerald orbs staring back at me. Before I had the chance to say anything, he crushed his lips to mine and groaned. It took me a few moments to process what was happening before I dropped my cigarette and roughly ran my fingers through his disheveled copper locks.

I kissed him back, greedily molding his mouth with mine. I parted my lips and ran the tip of my tounge along the edge of his bottom lip. He let out a strangled moan in response, and pressed his body harder against mine. His tounge swept across my bottom lip, begging for entrance and I instantly agreed.

I moaned loudly when my tounge came into contact with the small metal bar bell in his tongue. Our tongues danced together gracefully in a battle for dominance, I quickly gave in and let him control the kiss. I felt his hands grab my ass and lift me up off the ground, I wrapped my legs securely around his waist and ground my core into his very obvious arousal.

Eventually we had to come up for air, and slowly pulled away from each other. "Fuck," I groaned softly. The sound of my voice seemed to snap him back to reality and he quickly sat me back down on my feet and stepped away from me.

I looked up at him through my lashes and the want in his eyes took my breath away, he stared at me with hooded eyes, a deep lustful expression on his face. He gulped and turned to walk away, hastily making his way out into the parking lot. I was frozen in place, too dazzled to move. I stared dumbly at his retreating form and frowned.

What the fuck?

Author's note: Hello my lovely readers! Sorry that it took so long to update, I've been busy. Real life is a bitch, I'll tell ya. I start school again on Monday, so my updates will slow down a bit, but not completely. I'll update once every week, on Sunday's more than likely. Senior year will be a busy year for me but I'm excited. I got a great response to last chapter which was awesome! Could you guys please leave some more reviews for me? They make me so happy, please? I truly love hearing from you all. You're a wonderful bunch. Thank you so much for reading my story, favoring, following, and of course reviewing.

Just to clarify some points; Bella is eighteen. She is drinking underage, yes. It's frowned upon and illegal but it happens. Renesmee is twenty-one, Embry and Quil are twenty-two.

Alrighty, review, review, review and I'll continue you love all of you unconditionally.

xoxoxoxoxoxo
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