Holly, in your last review you mimicked my sentiments exactly. Thank you.

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart." ~ ~ Helen Keller

THE PAINFUL TRUTH

THE NEXT FEW DAYS WITH NATE were filled with sweet moments. Nate always showed up to eat breakfast and then he would go about whatever he had to do for the day. He was always clean and fresh by dinner time. We spent most nights in the game room either playing pool which I was getting better at or playing cards with some of the others. I tried very hard not to think about Ian but I couldn't bring myself to take off the ring. Burns talked to Lily twice more and each time I inquired about Ian I was told that he was still the same.

It was Wednesday evening. Nate and I were in the game room playing pool when my phone rang. I immediately went into a panic that it might be something bad. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, did you forget about us?" It was Sunny.

"Hi, no I wanted to call you but I knew I wouldn't get through."

I left Nate standing at the pool table and exited the building. I walked out into the cool night air so I could talk privately.

"Is Ian all right?"

"Well that depends on what you mean by all right. You know, he goes with Lily every time she comes out to call Burns in the hopes that you might want to talk to him."

"Burns didn't tell me that."

"Burns didn't know. He always says he just wants the exercise but we all know the truth. I wish you would talk to him."

"I don't know what to say to him. I'm trying to move on with my life."

"Don't you love him anymore?"

The lump in my throat was forming fast. "I have to go."

"He's with me now," she said quickly before I could hang up.

"He is?" My heart began to race.

"Yes would you like to speak to him?"

I fell silent. I did want to talk to him but then again I didn't.

"Wanda?"

"I can't." I hung up.

I went back into the game room. Nate was watching the others play cards. He tried not to approach me too quickly. I went to him. "I'm going to call it a night."

He seemed concerned. "Did you talk to Ian?"

"No, I couldn't."

"You should have."

We walked outside and continued the conversation.

"Why? I'm here with you."

"Are you? You just said you were calling it a night." He had me.

"Ian. I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm not Ian."

"Crap! I'm sorry!" I turned and bolted for the house.

"Wanda!" he called out but I didn't stop.

As I shut the door to my room my phone rang. I assumed it was Nate. I answered quickly. "I'm sorry Nate; I just need to be alone right now."

"Wanderer I know you don't want to talk to me but…"

"Ian?"

"Yes."

I started to sob.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I don't know! I'm so confused!"

"I'm not. I love you so much."

"Why? Why do you love me?" I demanded.

"I love you because I realized that ever since the takeover I've merely existed and I don't know why. I don't want to exist anymore, I want to live...and it's all because of you."

"I'm not worth living for." I thought about his frame of mind and quickly amended my words. "Or dying for."

"Have you fallen in love with Nate?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully.

"Oh," he said in a quiet voice.

Again I thought about his delicate frame of mind and the fact that he was out in the desert with Sunny and he could easily do something stupid and it would be all my fault. "I only know that I haven't stopped loving you so it is difficult for me to…"

He didn't let me finish my sentence. "You still love me then?" I could hear the hope in his voice.

"Yes, I still love you," I admitted through my tears.

"I miss you. Come home."

"I can't." I hung up.

That night I cried myself to sleep and I had horrible dreams. I didn't wake up screaming but I did wake up. I dreamed that Ian and Nate where on either side of me and they were pulling me and I could feel my body being torn in half. It was painful. When I woke I realized that the pain was in my heart. I loved them both. I couldn't deny it.

In the morning, Nate didn't come to the house for breakfast. I had hurt him and I couldn't bear it because he had done nothing to deserve it. I needed to find him. I needed to make things right. I hoped he was working on the building. I dressed and put on make up. It was a warm day. I could hear the hammering so I knew they were working. I only hoped Nate was with them.

I entered the building and Nate was with Burns and Evan hammering the framework for the walls.

"Nate!" I called out.

He looked up and saw me. He had nails in his mouth. "In a minute," he called back, the nails still secure between his lips.

He finished hammering the last two nails and then came to me. He ran his fingers through his hair in an effort to look presentable.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk last night."

"It's OK. You said you wanted to call it a night. You needed some space. I get that."

I looked at his beautiful smiling face. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You mean besides steal my heart?"

I kissed him hard in front of Burns and in front of Evan who before this moment had no idea of our involvement.

"You missed breakfast," I whispered.

"There's always lunch."

I smiled big. "Lunch is on me." I released him. "Bring your friends."

I started to walk away and I turned back to see him smiling brightly as he stood there and watched me.

The next two days we were very playful. He even danced with me one morning while we attempted to cook breakfast. He was an excellent dancer. Almost as good as he was at kissing. That night as we sat on the front porch snuggling in the moonlight, Nate suddenly made an announcement. "I could get used to this."

"Me too."

"Tomorrow, I want to have dinner with you."

"We have dinner every day together."

"No, I mean like a date… a real date. In the dining room at six?"

"Everyone will be there."

"No, I mean the dining room in the house."

"Your wish is my command." I mimicked him.

I went to sleep happy but again the wedding dream returned. Again Burns was there to wake me up. I found it particularly upsetting because I hadn't given Ian much thought throughout the entire day. It seemed that even if I blocked him from my conscious mind, my subconscious wouldn't let go. Burns offered to stay with me and I accepted his offer mostly because I missed having someone to hold me.

In the morning I woke and Nate was on the bed stroking my hair.

"Nate what are you doing here?"

"My best friend is running around in his boxers again. Still having bad dreams?"

"Not as often," I said trying to ease his fears.

"You get dressed. I'll make the coffee."

That day I went to town with Burns because I wanted to stop in and see Fluttering. I was tired of being bored and shopping at Home Depot wasn't exactly what I considered to be fun. She cut my hair and I hung out with her until he returned from his mission to buy supplies for the building. I dressed for dinner in my outfit that I wore to the club because I wanted to look extra special for him. As I entered the kitchen his eyes widened.

"You look beyond beautiful. Stunning," he said with enthusiasm.

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." He was wearing a pair of dress pants and a beautiful blue dress shirt open at the collar. The color set off his gorgeous dark eyes.

He served dinner. He prepared steaks complete with side orders of onions and mushrooms along with baked potatoes and asparagus. It was delicious. After dinner he suggested we take a walk to help digest dinner.

"I have dessert planned as well. I have it in my room if you don't mind."

"No, that sounds wonderful." I knew what he was implying and I thought I was ready.

As it turned out he had a tray filled with baklava and a bottle of champagne.

"Now I know you're only eighteen but..."

"Seventeen."

"What?"

"I don't want to enter into anything under false pretenses. I'm seventeen. There's only two other people who know that."

"Well, now that changes things. That makes me a pedophile," he sounded distraught.

"You want to wait till I turn eighteen?" I offered.

"When will that be?"

"March." I said it as a matter of fact. Nate stopped and deliberately counted on his fingers.

"Ahhh, I don't think I can wait that long." He handed me the flute of champagne. "Seventeen? Really?"

"Really."

He sighed deeply. "I'm going to hate myself in the morning."

After we ate dessert and drank our champagne, he took off my shoes and I scooted back on the bed.

"You really are beautiful." He knelt onto the bed and leaned in to kiss me. He slowly pushed me back as he kissed me and I unbuttoned his shirt. "I've waited a long time for this," he whispered. I ran my hands over his chest. It was different from Ian's. He had just enough chest hair to be sexy. His lips went to my neck and to my collar bone. I was becoming very stimulated. He pulled my shirt over my head and undid my bra. He pushed me back onto the bed and continued to kiss me and touch me. That was the point where things started to go wrong. I suddenly got this feeling of guilt and my dream from last night came flooding back. Betrayal. That's all I could see.

"No," I whispered. I was telling myself that this was not betrayal. Ian and I were not a couple.

"It's okay I won't hurt you," he whispered. It wasn't my hurt I was worried about. My conscience was winning out.

I couldn't do this! He was kissing my neck and it felt good but I couldn't betray Ian. I wanted Ian and I couldn't let him hate me. I couldn't let me hate me. "Nate, stop."

"Come on, Wanda. You know you want this." He pressed his lips to mine again.

"Get off me!" I pushed as hard as I could and he rolled off of me. He lay on his back and he used both hands to pull his hair back off his face.

"I thought you were ready for this!" he cried out in frustration.

"I thought so too. I can't. I can't do it."

"It's him isn't it? I knew that ring meant just a little too much to you. I should have trusted my instincts."

I started to cry. "I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I'm sorry too. I would have given you everything. You would have been my queen."

"Nate, I love you," I croaked.

"Was there even a moment that you didn't think of him since you came?"

"Yes. I love kissing you. I didn't think of him then."

"You just couldn't give his body to me." He spoke almost inaudibly. He hit the nail on the head.

"Do you hate me?"

"I'm glad for the opportunity to try. At least this time it wasn't over after one kiss."

I got up and put on my bra and shirt. He remained on his back on the bed with his arm resting on his forehead.

"I can't help but wonder if I had waited another week if things might have been different."

"The dreams wouldn't have stopped."

"Tell me about the dreams."

"Every one of them was a variation of my walking down the aisle to Ian and me betraying him to be with you. I woke up screaming each time. Burns said I couldn't stop my conscience as long as I loved Ian and he was right."

"So, I suppose you'll go back to him and the wedding will go off as scheduled," he surmised.

"I'll go back to him but I don't think the wedding will go off as scheduled. Just because I love him doesn't mean I still don't fear him and I can't marry him if I'm afraid of him. And who's to say I won't still have nightmares when I go back?"

He sat up and reached for my hand. "I'll always love you."

"I know and I'll always love you and I'll miss kissing your beautiful lips."

He pulled me to him on the bed. "One more for old times sake?"

He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately. As he pulled away he sighed heavily. "Maybe I should piss off Ian and let him kill me."

"You'll do no such thing, you hear me?" I scolded.

"Your wish is still my command." He got on his knees and put my shoes on my feet. He took my hand and walked me back to the house.

"I love you," he said quietly as his eyes pooled with tears.

"I love you too." I hugged him and walked up the steps with tears in my eyes.

I knocked on Burns' door. "Can I come in?"

"What are you doing here? I thought tonight was the big night? Or are you here for the letter?"

"I want you to take me home."

"What happened?"

"Ian happened. My conscience happened. I couldn't do it. I could kiss Nate fine enough but when it came right down to relinquishing my body to him, I realized this is Ian's body and no one else's. I don't even think it belongs to me."

"When do we leave?"

"In the morning?"

"Okay."

I kissed Burns on the cheek and went to bed. I had a hard time sleeping simply because I was anxious and nervous about seeing Ian again. What if he didn't want me anymore? What if he hated me? What if he was angry?

In the morning, I got up and Nate was not waiting for me as he had been every other day. I didn't feel good about breaking his heart. I packed up my things and put them into the truck. I decided that I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Nate. I poured him a cup of coffee and toasted a bagel. I walked it out to the building he had been working on in hopes he would be there. He was. He looked up briefly when I came in but he continued to work.

"Nate!" I called out. "Can I see you for a minute?"

He didn't stop his hammering. I waited. He didn't stop. Tears started flowing down my face. I put the coffee and the bagel down on the table they had set up and ran from the room.

"Wanda!" Nate called as he ran after me.

He caught up to me and I was sobbing. "I didn't want you to hate me." I blurted out.

"I don't."

I tried to explain. "Just because I can't spend the rest of my life with you doesn't mean I don't love you because I do."

"Humans only love one person at a time. It's hard for me to accept that you could love both of us."

"Well, I do. And I want you to know that when I go back to Ian it will be with the understanding that I will always love you too. He can't change that. I won't let him." The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. He reached up and wiped away the tears that flowed freely down my face.

"No. He could just kill me. That's one way to take care of the problem." He sounded so defeated.

"Stop that. I love Ian and he is the one I want to commit to but this time it has to be on my terms. I won't settle."

He stared at the ground as he spoke. "Well, I wish you the best of luck. He is the prince of violence. Remember I am here for you always and I will never hurt you."

I hugged him for a long time while I cried. He finally pushed me back. "Call me, Okay?"

"I will."

He watched me as I walked back towards the house. I turned around and gave him a last wave before I turned out of sight.

I offered to drive but Burns said he would rather do the driving because I was too emotional. He thought it would be better to spend the night in a hotel. Lily was due to call tonight anyway. When we pulled into the hotel Lily still hadn't called. We had picked up sub sandwiches to eat for dinner. I hadn't slept well the night before and I was exhausted. After I ate I told Burns that if Lily called to let Ian know that I wanted to speak to him and to wake me if he called.

Burns woke me from my slumber when Ian finally called. It was late. I was totally out of it. He handed me the phone. "Hello?"

"Wanderer? Lily told me that you wanted to speak to me. Is everything okay?" he said with urgency.

"No, everything is not okay," I moaned.

"You sound upset."

"I am upset but not at you. Mostly I'm just tired."

"I miss you so much. I wish you were coming home."

"I am coming home."

"When?"

"We left this morning. We are at the hotel now."

"Who's we?" he sounded cautious.

"Me and Burns."

"What about Nate?"

"I broke his heart. Why do I always do that? First you and now him. I hate being human. It's too complicated." I started to cry. "I love both of you but I can't have either of you."

"Wanderer, you can have me. I'm yours."

"I was with Nate. I'm afraid you'll hate me," I said sadly.

"Did you read my letter?"

"No."

"So you didn't sleep with him," he assumed since I hadn't read the letter.

"I didn't say that." It didn't matter to me whether or not I slept with him. In my mind we did go to the 'next level' as Burns put it because I fell in love and truth be told I was hurting at the loss of Nate too.

"Did you?"

"What if I did? You would hate me right?"

"I wouldn't hate you. I would be hurt."

"I don't want to talk about this on the phone. I'd rather talk to you in person, but I'm afraid that no matter what I tell you, you will lose your temper."

"Read my letter," he implored.

"No!"

"Listen, I promised you I would work on my anger and my jealousy. I'm not going to say that I won't be jealous but I can promise that I won't let my anger get the better of me. I lost you once. I have no intentions on doing that again."

"I'm glad to hear you say that. We definitely need to talk when I get home."

"Wanderer, I'm glad you chose me."

"Ian, that's what I want to talk to you about. It's true that I didn't choose Nate even though I love him. I love you and I want to choose you but…"

"But what?"

I wanted to be honest. "I need to be sure."

"You're not going to push me away again?" I could hear the apprehension in his words.

"No. I can't be without you. I know that now. But…"

"But what? Wanderer please talk to me."

"I've been wearing my engagement ring on my right hand."

"So, you don't want to marry me?"

"I do."

"So, what's the problem?"

"I need time. We need time to strengthen our relationship."

"So we have a relationship?" Again the hope in his voice was evident.

"I hope so," I said in a little voice.

"You're making me dizzy."

"I'm sorry. I'm tired."

"I can't wait to see you."

"I'm glad."

"I love you." I hadn't heard those words from his mouth in what seemed like forever.

"I love you too."

He hung up.

Burns had been sitting on the side of his bed listening intently to the conversation.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Good, now, no more nightmares. Get some sleep."

The next morning we slept in and went to a nice little 'Mom & Pop' diner to eat a hearty breakfast. Burns said he wanted to make sure I was well fed before he returned me to Ian. About an hour before we got to the dirt road that led to the wash, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi," I said meekly.

"I wanted to let you know that I am waiting for you at the garage. I didn't want to come up on you out of the dark and risk scaring you."

"Thanks."

"I don't want to get run over either." I wasn't sure if he was joking with me.

"That's understandable." I paused for a second. "Ian?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm nervous."

"I wish you wouldn't be because I am nervous enough for both of us. How far away are you?"

"About an hour."

"Good, cause I'm dying here. I don't know what to do with myself."

"I'm sorry we're running late. Burns wanted to make sure that I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"That's funny. I haven't been able to eat all day. Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"You are coming back for me right? I mean, I'm not holding false hope, am I?"

"Hope is the only thing I have right now," I admitted.

"Damn, this phone is dying and I don't have the jeep to plug it into."

"That's okay, I'll see you very soon."

"I love you Babydoll." When he called me Babydoll my heart sped up.

"I love you too."

An hour takes sixty minutes to pass but it felt more like one hundred and sixty minutes. I was desperate to see him. I rubbed my ring with the palm of my hand and I debated on whether I should switch it to my left hand. No, I told him I was wearing it on my right. I had to be strong no matter how frightened I was. I told Nate that Ian would have to take me back on my terms and those terms included knowing that I would always love Nate too. It was going to be a hard road to cross before I could start wearing this ring on my left hand again.

We finally pulled into the wash and jumped into the jeep for the quick trip across the desert to the garage. As we pulled into the garage, I could see Ian standing out of the way waiting. He looked sexy as hell. He had shaved the two weeklong beard that Lily said he had been sporting only two days ago. He was dressed in my favorite black jeans and one of his tight V-neck shirts. He had also gotten a haircut. I had spoken to him only last night, so, he obviously got a lot of help from the 'family' to look his best. I was flattered. My stomach was doing back flips. I wished I hadn't eaten dinner. My hair was all over the place from the ride through the desert. I was wearing his favorite baby doll dress and the high heeled boot sandals I had bought when Sunny and I had gone to the club.

Ian walked slowly towards the jeep. "Welcome home."

I opened the door to the jeep. I figured it might be inappropriate for me to climb over the side in the dress I was wearing. He reached out for my hand. I put my hand in his and the electricity that flowed through me gave me goose bumps. I took the long step down to the sand below and he caught me in mid air and his eyes were fixed on mine. He set me down gently but he kept his arm around my waist.

Oddly enough, we were in a perfect dance position, my hand in his and his arm around my waist. He smiled at me. "Would you like to dance?"

"There's no music."

"You are my music." He stepped to the side and pulled me with him as he hummed a familiar love song. I couldn't believe we were dancing. I had never danced with Ian before.

"I didn't know you could dance."

"Mom's been teaching me when no one is around. I did it for you. I want to dance with you at our wedding."

I started to tear up.

"Don't cry. You're supposed to be happy."

I laughed through my tears. "I am."

"Burns left us, you know."

"He did?" I looked around. I was so immersed in Ian that I completely forgot about Burns.

He stopped dancing. "We should catch up to him." Ian reached into the jeep and grabbed my bag. He pulled out my sneakers. "You can't run in those. I could carry you but I won't be able to catch him." He got down on one knee to take off my shoe just as Nate had done just two nights ago. Ian looked up at me as he slipped the boot-sandal off my foot. "You do look sexy as hell."

"Thank you. It's funny; those were the exact words that crossed my mind when I saw you." I was dying for him to kiss me but he was being the gentleman. I figured if he didn't kiss me soon, then I would go insane.

He placed my shoes in my bag after my sneakers were on my feet. He rose and took my hand as he slung the bag over his back. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Just one more thing." He had my hand in his and the other was holding the bag. He leaned in slowly. I think his intention was to give me a little kiss but as soon as his lips touched mine, I lost control. I grabbed his face with my free hand to keep the kiss from coming to an end. Then my hand slid from his face to the back of his neck and I hung on to him for dear life. As my tongue pushed into his mouth, he dropped the bag and let go of my hand. He picked me up and pushed up against the jeep so I would pull my legs apart and wrap them around him. He turned around and fell back against the jeep to get better leverage. Then he did the one thing that always made me crazy. He chewed on my lips. I wanted him to take me right there in the desert. My body was throbbing with anticipation.

"My god, I want you," he whispered.

"If you stop I'll kill you," I whispered back. He spun around again to face the jeep. He opened the door and started pulling on my panties as he put me down on the seat. He slid them off and dropped them on the floor of the jeep. I thought he would kiss me again but he buried his head under my dress. I lay back and closed my eyes. Thank goodness we were all alone out here in the desert because he had me moaning within seconds. I felt like I was in a wonderful dream. When I couldn't stand it anymore I pushed him away from me. He unzipped his jeans and pulled them down and came back for me. The long wait, the agony of our severed relationship, and the anticipation of our reunion just heightened the whole experience. When it was over Ian was slumped over my body.

After a minute he spoke. "Are you all right? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, but I can't move."

"Sorry, can you give me another minute?" He was weak from the experience and I was wedged between his body, the seat, and the gear shift.

I started to giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm stuck." My giggling turned to laughter.

He was trying not to smile. "Babydoll, are you all right?"

The question just made me laugh even harder. He slid off of me and he pulled me into a sitting position. I finally got my laughter under control.

"I love you," I trilled.

His eyes were twinkling in the moonlight. "I love you more." He kissed me and it was the slow burn kiss. It wasn't like the wild sex we just had but rather a romantic sensual kiss that made me melt in his arms. When the kiss ended I was mush.

He reached into the jeep for my panties. "You'll need these…at least for a little while." He was grinning slyly. He pulled up his pants. "We better go before they send out a search party."

"Ian?"

"Yes, my love?"

"You need to stop looking like the cat that ate the canary or everyone will know that we had sex out here."

He continued to grin. "I can't help it. I'm happy."

I let Ian revel in his happiness for now. The subject of Nate would come up sooner or later and I wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

He again grabbed my hand and tossed the bag over his back. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. Don't kiss me this time."

He let out a laugh of his own and we were off jogging. By the time we got back to the caverns Jeb was there gun in hand. "Well, you're both alive and kickin'. Welcome back little lady."

I was so happy I hugged Jeb which obviously surprised him.

"Where to?" Ian asked.

"Bathroom!" I said as I gave him a sly grin.

"Okay. Come on."

We moved quickly through the lit tunnels to the bathing room. Ian waited for me in the outer room with the two rivers. When I emerged he asked. "Want to take a bath together?"

"Maybe later, don't you think I should at least say hello to your parents?"

"Sure. Let's drop off your bag first. You will be spending the night with me in our room, won't you?"

"No, I'll be sleeping with Ice." I joked.

"I'm not so sure Heidi would like that."

I was pleasantly surprised. "Are they a couple now?"

"I get that impression, but you didn't answer my question. I don't want to take anything for granted."

"That's good because there are things that you may not like about me. Still, I would like to spend my nights with you…if you want me."

"Why are you so cryptic? You know I want you."

I felt uneasy and my face showed it.

"Wanderer, everything is going to be fine. We are going to be fine."

He put his arm around me and walked us to the room. I walked into the room and if was filled with roses. There was about four or five dozen and he even had some of the petals sprinkled on the mattress.

"Oh, Ian!"

"I love you, Babydoll." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I thought we would end up making love but he stopped. "I thought you wanted to go see my parents?"

"I did….I do." I said it with resolve. There would be plenty of time for love making later, but he was so gorgeous.

"Come on." He pulled me by the hand forcing me to take the step that I didn't want to take.

We walked silently to the game room. It was unusually quiet in the caverns, which was odd because it really wasn't that late and no one had come to greet me. Maybe everyone was angry that I had left Ian. Maybe watching him suffer over the last two weeks had tainted the way they felt about me.

We rounded the corner and stepped into the game room. "WELCOME HOME!"

The room was full of people. I think everyone was there. "Oh my god!" I buried my face in Ian's chest in embarrassment.

He whispered in my ear. "Everyone loves you, Wanderer."

I had to make the rounds and hug everyone and exchange pleasantries. There was a table with sandwiches and chips and drinks. Ian went to the table and grabbed a sandwich. He said he hadn't eaten all day so he must have been famished. I noticed the weight bench in the far corner of the room. It took a while for me to come to Maggie and Tom.

Maggie hugged me. "I'm glad you came back. Ian is just beside himself with joy."

"I know, but we are not out of the woods yet. He won't be happy when I tell him the things I need to tell him."

"Well, you know I'll always be here for the both of you."

"Thank you, I just want to enjoy him as long as long as I can before we have to talk."

Ian came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. "Is everything okay?"

I reached up behind me and stroked his face. "Everything is fine."

"Well, the crowd wants to watch a movie and since you are the lady we are honoring tonight; they want you to pick the movie."

I chose a movie I had seen many times before because I knew I would be paying more attention to Ian than anything else. Ian towed me to the back of the room and he sat on the floor against the wall. I sat between his legs and he wrapped his arms around me. He put his chin over my shoulder. I was in heaven. He put on a little after shave somewhere between our arrival to the caverns and here. The smell was intoxicating. Ten minutes into the movie I pivoted so I was sideways. I was leaning back against his right leg and I slipped my legs under his left leg.

"Were you uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No. You just smell so good." I stretched my neck up to his face and kissed him. He seemed hesitant but I continued to kiss him until he responded.

When he ended the kiss he said "My mother is watching."

"So, hasn't she ever seen you kiss a girl before?"

"No, she hasn't," he said seriously.

I giggled. "You are such a mommy's boy."

"Shut up and watch the movie."

I couldn't tell if he was playing or if he was really angry. I just laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He pulled my hair back over my shoulder and kissed my forehead. "I love you," he whispered.

I woke up when the lights went on.

"You missed a good movie," Ian said softly.

"Seen it."

"Are you ready to go to bed?"

I immediately remembered his aversion to kissing me in front of his mom.

"I don't know. Maybe we should go ask your mom," I teased.

"That's not even funny."

"Well, she is my competition."

"She's not competition. She's my mother. Wanderer, you're making me angry and I don't want to say anything that will ruin this night."

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. It's just that I picked this movie cause I've seen it like ten times and I just wanted to sit in the back and make out. I can't help it if you re so hot!"

He smiled shyly. "Okay, I get it. You want me."

He helped me to my feet and then got up. He took me by my elbow and led me towards his mom.

"We're going to bed now. I'll see you and Dad in the morning. I love you." He kissed his mom on the cheek.

His mom reciprocated "I love you too, Ian. Sleep well."

Maggie turned to me. "Take care of him."

As we walked back to our bedroom through the tunnels Ian tried to explain his behavior. "If it wasn't for my mother these last two weeks, I probably would have gone insane. I thought about wandering off into the desert but she was there for me. She kept me focused on you. It was her idea that I learn how to dance especially after I told her about you and Nate dancing."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made fun of you."

We entered the bedroom and Ian shut the new doors that Ice had made to replace the ones that Ian had destroyed so long ago. "And I should have kissed you." He pulled me into his arms and placed his open lips on mine. His kiss was romantic. I knew just by the kiss that he was going to make love to me. It wasn't the frantic lovemaking that we had at the jeep. It was slow…and sensual…and emotional. He wanted me to enjoy him for as long as he could hold out. I was so happy and he was the reason for my happiness.

Normally I would have fallen asleep naked in his arms but there was no lock on the door and I didn't want a repeat of the Burns incident. I put on my panties and a t-shirt and then I snuggled into his chest and fell asleep.