Chapter 31 – An Unexpected Trump Card

[Author's Note: My deepest apologies to Mr. Morgenstern and Mr. Goldman; I mean no disrespect to their work or to the culture of the great countries to which I allude in this story. Their historical figures are heroes of legend and are always spoken of with reverence. Further, as I am given to understand that the lawyers who represent the estate of Mr. Morgenstern are quite vigilant about protecting the integrity of his literary contributions, I would like to emphasize that allusion, as a literary device, falls under Fair Use, and as such is protected under the United States Copyright Act of 1979 and the correlating statutes of international copyright law.

In other words, "nyah nyah nyah."]

The silence that hung between them was more comfortable as they headed through the slightly-less-oppressive heat of the alley. Vacy paused to take out her datapad and thumb through a map of Anchorhead as they walked along. "Looks like the warehouse is just up ahead… it'll be around a corner on our right, past a bit of a wiggle-waggle."

Bowdaar barked a laugh. "Is that a technical term?"

She rolled her eyes as she looked up, but she couldn't quite hold back a grin. "Academic jargon. I wouldn't expect the common folk to understand," she said, tilting her nose up.

When they rounded the last corner, they noticed a crowd down by their destination. As they approached, it became clear that they were quite well-armed and armored, and did not seem to be particularly cheerful and talkative, even among themselves.

"Well, pu," said Vacy. Then she sort of narrowed her eyes, grinning ever so slightly. "Although – hold on – I've got an idea."

They ducked into the cover of a doorway and Vacy started rummaging through her Darmas-bag. "Aha!" she cried a moment later, pulling out a bottle of clear, pale-green liquid. "Here. Work this into your fur," she said, unscrewing the cap and handing the bottle to Bowdaar. "Start from your head and use it lightly, but make sure to get as much covered as you can." She frowned as she looked him over, shaking her head. "You've got a lot of fur," she murmured, her brow creasing in concern. "You'll probably run out before you're good and covered. Still, this is significantly preferable to a suicide run."

Bowdaar grumbled uncertainly as he squeezed a bit of what turned out to be green oil onto one hand. "I am not sure that I like this idea of yours." The air around them was quickly saturated with a pungent floral aroma, painfully strong, and Bowdaar protested even more. "This is preposterous! My grooming habits are impeccable. I have no need to be bathed in anything of this sort."

"Of course not, Bowdaar, you smell just fine, I promise, that has nothing to do with it." Vacy smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring fashion. "Trust me."

Bowdaar narrowed his eyes without making a sound.

Vacy's jaw dropped open. "What?!" she cried. "This will work, honest! I promise!" she insisted, and when he finally chuffed and began smearing the drippy, sickly-sweet oil over the fur on his head, she breathed a sigh of relief.

At least, I hope it will…

The oil matted Bowdaar's fur a bit, but when he fluffed it out again, it was hard to notice. Vacy nodded her approval. "All right," she murmured. "Here's how it's going to work…"

Garin Broff had been moving through the ranks quickly, and took great pride in his ability to keep his particular grunts in line. So when he heard some wolf-whistling and looked over and saw a sassy bit of tail headed their way, he knew he had to deal with the situation before it became a problem. "Mind your posts, boys!" he called down, frowning at them just a bit. Not fiercely, mind; there wasn't anything wrong with a bit of fun so long as they didn't shirk.

But then, in the middle of the alleyway, she stopped, put her hands on her hips, and narrowed her eyes as she looked around her. "Gentlemen!" she called out. "I am the legendary sky pirate Vacy Fiorst, and right now I am angry because someone has been so rude as to steal something that I need. The affront to my property can be repaid, but the lack of respect to my person must be avenged. Bowdaar!"

An enormous wookiee came to stand beside her, and the small woman grinned viciously. "Rage lasts for a moment, but revenge is eternal!" she snarled. "Tear these slugs apart!"

While the sight of an angry wookiee advancing upon them might have caused any of the men to turn and flee if they had been alone, they took comfort in their greater numbers and drew their guns to fire. It wasn't until Bowdaar walked past the limits of the alley's shade and the sun caught his fur that the screams started.

The glare of both Tatooine suns ignited the already-volatile gel, wreathing the wookiee in a halo of luminous green fire. He raised his arms and let out quite a splendid roar, and without a thought, the men let out shrieks and forgot about anything other than escape.

"Stand your ground, men!" shouted Broff, but by that point no one was listening to him. "Stand your ground!" He slowly began backing up as well but couldn't seem to tear his gaze from the vicious, snarling creature that marched toward him, encased in flame that didn't seem to bother it one bit.

Within moments the alley was clear of everyone except for Vacy, Bowdaar, and the man quivering in the shadow of the warehouse that Tookreek had told them about. The spacer pushed Bowdaar into the shade as well and shrugged off her jacket, patting him down carefully to douse the flames as she could already smell the acrid tang of charred fur.

"Very well," she said, turning to Broff and holding out a hand. "Let's have the holocom."

Though he was still trembling a bit, the man shook his head. "I – I – I have no h-holocom," he stammered.

Without the slightest pause, Vacy looked up at her partner. "Bowdaar, tear his arms off," she said blithely.

But before the wookiee could so much as take a breath, suddenly Broff had a device in his hand and was pressing it into Vacy's. "Oh you mean this holocom," he said with a nervous laugh.

Vacy checked the device before pocketing it and sighing contentedly. "See? There, now, that wasn't so hard. And I think such generosity ought to be rewarded." She smiled at the cowering man gently. "You see, usually, someone who stole from me would be punished with a long, lingering death."

His eyes widened. "You… I know who you are… you're the one who slaughtered that twi'lek on Coruscant!"

Vacy blinked and then beamed in delight. "You HAVE heard of me!" she cooed, clapping her hands. "How lovely. I almost feel like I'm meeting an old friend." The smile froze, hardened. "Except for the nasty little fact that you stole from me. Hm. Now what are we going to do about that little detail?" She rubbed a finger over her chin. "Well. I suppose it wouldn't be very nice to flay you, or have Bowdaar here rip you limb from limb, since we're friends and all. So I tell you what." She pulled out Flashy and pressed the tip of the barrel firmly against the man's sweaty forehead. "I'll make your death quick and painless, and I promise I'll tell everyone that you died very bravely. How's that?"

Garin Broff snuffled, and started to cry. He didn't want to die! He certainly hadn't had anything to do with the theft of the holocom! It hadn't even been his idea to steal it anyway, and she had it back now, after all, didn't she?

As the man babbled, Vacy looked over at Bowdaar with a sigh, rolling her eyes. But then she grinned a little, and turned back to Broff. "Now, see, you've put me in quite a pickle. I feel like we understand each other. You know that I can be vicious, but I'm not unreasonable. And I know that you wouldn't ever think of stealing from me again, isn't that right?"

He nodded his head most emphatically.

Vacy lifted her hands with an apologetic smile. "But I can't have it getting around that I just, y'know, let someone get away! People will think I've gone soft. And I can't have that." She shrugged amicably, and lifted Flashy again. "So I'm afraid you do have to die."

Broff lifted his hands in surrender, scrabbling back against the wall of the warehouse. "Wait wait wait!" he pleaded, his grin wide and desperate. "You could – I mean, ah, I could tell everyone that… that I saw it happen – that you killed everyone. Tore them to pieces! And… and that I didn't have anything to do with it, but that you almost killed me too! That… ah… w-would that work?" he squeaked.

Vacy peered at him thoughtfully, watching the sweat bead on his forehead. "The thing is, folks know you. I mean, you'd have to head off-planet –"

"I can do that!" he interjected, nodding again.

She bit back a grin and continued, keeping her voice firm. "- and you'd have to start over, completely. No ties to your old life."

Broff nodded once more. "I swear it!" he whimpered.

After gazing at him sternly for a few moments, Vacy nodded and holstered Flashy again. Broff immediately sagged against the wall, sighing in relief. "There's a bunch of Republic troops around. I bet if you talk to somebody in uniform, they can point you to the enlistment office. You'll get to see the galaxy, and who knows? Might even get a chance to make yourself a hero." She nodded down the alleyway. "G'wan, now."

He didn't wait to be told twice, but hustled down the sand-strewn path without another word.

Vacy looked up and saw that Bowdaar was shaking his head. "Would you really have killed him?" the wookiee barked.

She looked down again, her smile fading. "Maybe," she said quietly. "I'm not too keen on killing folks, especially those that aren't actually trying to kill me. But…" She took a breath, pushing away the fears that always hovered at the edges of her consciousness, and smiled again, reaching up to clap Bowdaar on the arm. "Anyway, it don't matter. It worked, and I am deeply in your debt. That stuff is right foul."

Bowdaar chuffed a laugh. "Indeed, this odor is most offensive."

Chuckling as well, Vacy nodded. "Well, you've earned yourself a shower – and not that sonic crap. I don't care if we are on Tatooine, you deserve it. C'mon, let's catch up with Rish and Corso and head back to the ship."