She heard blood pounding in her ears, her breathing slowed and for a moment she felt that time was standing still. She recognized the Marine who had called her name. He was James Berry, Rodney's friend. Everyone called him Jamie. He and Rodney had gone through Boot Camp together and had spent a lot of time with each other. Jamie's wife, Jackie, was one of Christina's good friends and had been a constant source of comfort and support since Rodney had been in Afghanistan. The other Marine, older and more distinguished looking, looked very serious but said nothing, his lips drawn in a grim line.

Jamie and the older man came to a halt in front of Christina and Erik. The older man looked from Erik to Christina, then back at Erik.

"Ms. Davies?"

She nodded.

"I am Major Christopher Scott." He paused, seeing her bruised and battered looking body, he wondered if now was really a good time. He decided they might as well just get it over and done with. "May we come inside?"

Christina nodded, forgetting Erik was there until she felt his hand on hers. Looking up into his eyes, she silently begged him to follow her inside. The depth of pain that he saw in her eyes shocked Erik. He realized that she knew something had happened but he hadn't a clue what it might be.

With shaking hands, Christina opened the door to her townhouse and invited the three men into the living room.

"Sit…" she began, but her voice broke. "Please have a seat."

Erik helped her to the sofa, easing her onto the soft cushions carefully, not wishing to hurt her more than necessary. Major Scott and Jamie sat on the love seat across the coffee table from Christina and Erik. The older man took a deep breath, looking down at his clenched hands before looking into Christina's eyes.

"Ms. Davies, I understand that you are Gunnery Sergeant Rodney Jackson's fiancé. Is this correct?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice for anything right now. Please God! Not Rodney, not now! Please…

He took a breath. "I'm sorry to inform you that he…" He stopped, wincing. The word 'he' made this o impersonal; he was speaking of her fiancé, someone's son, someone's brother…"Rodney was killed four days ago in the line of duty."

She was hearing the words that she'd feared for so long. Time stood still again, and as she looked around her living room, she didn't see the two Marines or Erik. She saw Rodney, pulling her to his lap and tickling her, kissing her, giving her a small smile that only she would see as he stepped onto a plane that took him away to war. She saw him standing in the bleachers at her Basic Training Graduation, applauding and saluting her. She saw the man she had been going to marry, the man she had loved more than anyone on the earth, holding her in his arms, and kissing her passionately, without a care in the world.

Jamie rose from the loveseat and squatted in front of her, taking her uninjured hand in his own.

"Christ, I'm so sorry Chris!" he choked, his own voice failing him. He looked at the floor so no one would see the tears that threatened to fall.

"If you need anything, anything at all," he said, before finally looking into her tragic green eyes. He would never forget the pain in those emerald depths, the look of total and utter heartbreak and despair. He heard his superior officer clear his throat and kissed her forehead once before standing up and moving slightly behind the Major.

Christina felt the tears begin to fall. Her Rodney…her brave, kind Rodney was gone forever. He would never again laugh, or cry or tickle her. She would never be his wife, never have his children. She would never hear his voice saying 'I love you' again.

She looked up at the two uniformed men who were standing in her living room. She saw the look of pain on Jamie's face and the look of discomfort on the Major's.

"Where is his body now?"

She listened with half an ear as Major Scott gave her the details, He explained that she was the sole beneficiary of his life insurance policy and mentioned Rodney's s last wishes.

'Thank you' was all she was able to say after the Major fell silent. She closed her eyes and sobbed.

Major Scott and Jamie took that as their cue to leave. Jamie left his cell number along with the number for her to call about Rodney's body and funeral proceedings. Unable to speak, she nodded once and slumped back against the sofa cushions, leaving Erik to silently show the men out.

She'd entirely forgotten he was there until he returned to the living room. She opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't utter a sound except a strangled wail. As her tears fell freely, Erik seated himself silently on the sofa next to Christina.

What could he say? Judging by the violence of her reaction to the news, he figured Rodney must have been her husband, His mind flashed back to a morning three years ago when he had awakened in a hospital room…

He forced himself to focus on the devastated young woman next to him.

Feeling useless, Erik debated whether he should touch her. He wanted so badly to pull her to him for comfort and wipe away her tears. But he knew that it wouldn't help. Her heart-wrenching pain couldn't be diminished by words or hugs.

He put a hand softly on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. She looked up into his eyes while the emerald depths of her own begged him to make it all go away. After a moment, she let her head fall to his shoulder. More violent sobs began shaking her body. Erik knew she needed some kind of comfort, even though he was out of practice at offering much of anything to another human being, he put his arms around her and held her to him gently, taking care not to further injure her already battered body.

She clutched at him, as a drowning man grabs hold of his rescuer. Erik felt her heart-breaking sobs down in his very soul. He held her as she cried; as she sobbed into his shoulder he began to hum ever so softly. Finally her body-shaking sobs diminished to hiccups.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice still thick with tears.

"You are more than welcome." He produced a folded linen handkerchief and gently blotted her tears.

Damn! Why had he even come in the door with the Marines? He was no good at offering comfort to another human being! He was so out of practice in dealing with the opposite sex!

He finally asked the question he'd been dreading. "Was he your husband?"

She shook her head.

"No, he was my fiancé." She sniffed. "We were supposed to have been married a year ago, but he was unexpectedly deployed to Afghanistan two days before our wedding day."

Erik tried to release her but she clutched him tightly

"Please…" The tears started again. "Please don't leave me!" she cried.

No, I don't ever want to leave you…

He held her small body to him, stroking her hair and face. He tried to remember what else might calm her. He started rocking her…Madeline used to love it when he rocked her.

Damn!

He had known this woman for a day and in the 24 hours since she'd met him she'd been hit by a car and told her fiancé was killed.

When her breathing evened out and he realized she had fallen asleep, he picked her up, being careful not to jar her and cause her any more pain. He carried her upstairs to the only bedroom where he set her on her bed and pulled gently away from her grip. Carefully, he draped a blanket over her before silently making his way out of her room. He debated with himself whether he should remain, but finally decided she needed to rest undisturbed. He went downstairs to write her a note.

When she woke some time later, her face felt stiff and her body protested every move she made, her muscles and her very bones screaming in pain. Then she remembered everything that had happened…

Tears burned the back of her eyes before they began to fall one by one. Erik was gone as she knew he would be. She was totally alone. The thought crossed her mind that she should take him a bottle of wine or something as a thank you.

Slowly she hobbled out of her room and down the stairs to the kitchen. On the counter were two pieces of paper. One of them contained all the instructions concerning Rodney, and the other appeared to be a note.

Christina,

I'm so very sorry for your loss; if you need anything please don't hesitate to call!

Erik (412 )555-9345

Through the tears Christina smiled a tiny smile. It would be the last one to grace her beautiful face for a long while.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Because he'd been killed in the line of duty, Rodney was buried with full military honors, complete with a 21-gun salute and the Air National Guard flying overhead. At the conclusion of the service, Christina was presented with the traditional folded American flag.

Rodney had no family, but he did have a lot of friends. Jamie and Jackie had stood by Christina, one on each side, with their arms around her, tears streaming down both of their faces. Everyone else had come to pay their last respects to their fallen comrade and extended their condolences to Christina. A few offered to bring over food, to stop by and check on her, but she kindly refused them all. She just wanted to be left alone.

She hobbled into her empty townhouse, clutching the flag. She'd not shed one tear since the day she had been told of Rod's death. Dry-eyed, she held the flag to her chest for a long while. She sat alone in the darkness of her townhouse, in silence, dressed in black and holding an American Flag.

If she'd overworked herself before Rodney died, she became a mad woman after his funeral. Her leg had nearly healed and her hip was greatly improved. A splint had replaced the cast on her wrist and she no longer walked with a limp. The cuts and bruises had faded.

She hardly slept, ate even less and worked herself daily to the point of exhaustion. She shed pounds she could ill afford to lose. She stayed on campus late before coming home and collapsing without dinner. Two months had passed and though she still felt some stiffness in her body she didn't allow it to hold her back any longer. She put on her running shoes and walked out her front door.

Left, right, left right….

Running had always helped her think, even though now she didn't want her lost love to creep into her thoughts. She wanted her mind to be free…free of any thoughts of love, men, romance, life, as it used to be…

She was done with all of that! She would finish her degree because Rodney had wanted her to, she would get a job and she would work. But never again would she let herself love…she couldn't. Love hurt too much. No, she would never open herself up to that kind of pain again…she didn't think her heart could take it.

Every evening Erik had watched out his office window for any sign of Christina, but for the past two months he'd seen nothing of her. Nor had he heard from her, though that wasn't entirely unexpected. After all, with what he had become, who would want to talk to him, let alone look at him?

With sad eyes, he his daily watch for just a glimpse of her. But it was not to be. She didn't come.

He had attempted to bury his thoughts of her deep within himself, to forget all about her. But there was something about her, something so tragic, so magnetizing and enticing that he couldn't put her out of his mind. She was so independent…to a fault almost. She had been so beautiful to him when she had cried on his shoulder, even though she was covered with cuts and bruises. The sound of her sobs had nearly killed him, but it had been even harder on him when she was silent and withdrawn. Someone as beautiful as she should have been laughing and smiling, and not having to deal with tragedy. Even though he'd finally first met her on that tragic day, for months before he had seen her utter loneliness as she ran by each day. It had surrounded her almost line a cloud. He had wanted nothing more than to lift the weight of her loneliness from her shoulders. He wondered if she had recovered physically from the accident and how she was coping emotionally with the loss of her finance'. Her continued absence led him to believe that she must be trying to move on with her life, to forget everything about the fateful day they had finally met.

And then, just when he had given up hope…

He saw reflectorized fabric gleaming in the lamplight at the corner of his driveway and he gasped aloud when he saw her. It couldn't be his Christina…this thin girl must be an imposter. But she was coming up his driveway! He bolted out the office door and down the stairs just as the doorbell rang.

Stephan opened the door for the young lady and ushered her in. He thought he recognized her from his master's descriptions, but this girl before him was a mere shadow of the girl that Erik seemed to have fallen in love with…

When Erik reached the bottom of the stairs, Christina had just come into the foyer. He looked closely at her and was dismayed by what he saw. Her eyes were no longer bright and vibrant, but dull, with dark circles under them. Though she was wearing baggy clothes, Erik could see she had lost a great deal of weight since he had last seen her. He was shocked at the condition she was in. He wondered when she had last eaten a real meal or had a full night's sleep. He greeted her tentatively, and led her into one of the two parlors on the bottom floor. He gestured for Stephan to bring refreshments immediately.

"No, no, please don't go to any trouble on my account… I don't want anything! I'm so sorry I haven't called… I've been meaning to but…" She stopped, unable to continue. "I have a bottle of wine for you. I wanted you to have it in appreciation for everything you did that day. I hadn't planned on stopping this evening. I was planning to drive over with the wine. I haven't gotten to it yet." She knew she was rambling. Christina looked down at her running clothes and suddenly felt a bit embarrassed. This man had never seen her in regular clothes…she always seemed to look a mess. "And I would not have been dressed like a bum!"

"You don't need to feel that you have to dress for me, Christina." Where the hell had that come from? He raged at himself. I'm no good at this anymore…

"Well maybe I could bring the wine by later this week?" she asked, hesitantly.

Stupid, stupid! Chris! What the hell are you trying to do to yourself? Stay away from here!

She wanted to dart out of the room. She didn't want to get to know the man across from her. She didn't want to be his friend, didn't want to know about his life, his hurts…she didn't want to let anyone else in. Because if she let anyone in they could hurt her, and she couldn't handle hurt like that again.

But then she looked into his eyes, those beautiful eyes, and she saw a world of pain. A pain that matched her own, the pain and devastation of losing your world…horrible, debilitating loss. She wondered for a moment what had happened to him…what event in his life made this man into the tragic form sitting before her.

No! She didn't want to know! She couldn't, it would kill her!

Erik watched as a myriad of emotions played over her face.

She doesn't realize how much she reveals with her eyes.

She turned her eyes back to his own and gazed deeply, into his very soul. He cast his eyes to the floor, ashamed for her to see the truth…to see the monster he had become.

Christina knew that if she stayed any longer she would regret it. She mumbled an excuse and fled the room, nearly colliding with Stephen and his tray of food and beverages, She ran out the door and sprinted down the curved driveway, through the gates and away own the road. Two months ago she would have killed for a look around the grand mansion that was Erik's home, but now all she could think of was escaping. She had seen his pain and sadness, which seemed to rival her own.

Erik stood in his open doorway and watched her go…

Every day he continued to watch for her to pass by; every day he sank further and further into despair. He frequently drove by her townhouse, but never saw her. It seemed as though she had disappeared from the face of the earth. Erik threw himself more than ever into his work, determined to banish the beautiful brunette from his thoughts. She had captured his interest and had begun to awaken hope in his heart. Then she had experienced both the accident and the tragedy of losing her finance', and she had vanished.

In resignation, he rebuilt the crumbling walls around his heart and reinforced them, even stronger than before. Erik was certain he would never see her again, and he didn't, for nearly a year…