It's done! I would've posted this last night, but there were complications with my computer. Sorry, guys. Anyway, this one's all Natsu. Some stuff happens, and then he does some other stuff. Geehee. (In case no one is getting my reference, the 'geehee' is the Gajeel/Lily laugh.) So, yeah. Dedicated to nico2883. Special thanks to WhiteWinterStar (duh), lilpumpkingirl, and PrincessoftheDemons. Lilpumpkingirl, thanks for your advice! I'll definitely try something like that next chapter. Review, follow, favorite. It gives me happy feels. And so, back to
NATSU
I could hear Lucy running the water in the bathroom. It didn't sound like she was coming out for a while, so I made my way to the kitchen, where the chicken was calling my name. After toasting a leg for a few quick seconds with a tongue of flame, I tore off a chunk of flesh with my teeth.
When you love someone, you want to see them all the time. I hummed in the back of my throat and finished off the leg, enjoying the burn of the spices in my stomach. It was almost as good as genuine fire. And when you're around them, your heart feels strange, like someone's squeezing it. The way she described it, it sounded kind of painful. You want them to depend on you and you alone, and you hate to see them getting along better with someone else. Wasn't there a word for that? Jealousy, maybe? I frowned as I gobbled a breast and licked my fingers. That seemed kinda off. You want to hide them away and never let anyone else near them. That was kinda strange, too. Why would you hide someone away from everyone else? But over all, you just want that person to be happy. So much that what you want doesn't matter anymore. Well, that much was true. I would do anything to protect Fairy Tail. That's what true love is. It's the best feeling in the world.
I sighed and leaned back against the counter, gnawing thoughtfully on a bone with a few scraps of meat still clinging to it. True love, huh? Sure, I loved all of my guildmates. But was that really what Lucy was talking about when she said true love? I mean, from what Igneel had told me, loving your family was different from truly loving someone. Not that you loved them any less, he'd explained, you just loved them in different ways.
So did Lucy asking me that question out of the blue like that mean that she had someone she truly loved? The thought made my chest feel tight, like when I ate too much fire at once and had to spit some out. My tongue tasted sour. Maybe I'd heated the chicken too much and burned it without noticing.
In the other room, the water turned off. I gazed out the kitchen doorway, but there was no sign of Lucy. I popped a wing into my mouth and chewed it, crunching up the bones absentmindedly. I'd have gone to check on her, but the memory of walking in on her naked the last time held me back. That time had been... Weird. Really weird. Lucy's clothes always seemed to be disappearing, but that particular time was different somehow. It made Lucy really upset, for one thing. More than usual. And for another, seeing her naked body had made me go all funky. Her blonde hair hung in damp tendrils, the droplets sparkling in the light. Her pale-skinned waist invited me closer, asked me to run my hands over it to see if it really was as smooth as it looked. And her expression as she looked over, just before she realized what was going on, was just... She was so unguarded. In that moment, alone, she was simply Lucy. Not Lucy of Fairy Tail, or Lucy from Team Natsu, or 'Lucky' Lucy Heartfilia. She was everything she wanted to be and nothing more.
That person was my favorite Lucy.
Pondering the few times I'd seen Lucy that way, I finished the chicken and went to take a nap on the bed. When I woke up an hour later, the first thing I did was check to see if Lucy had come out of the bathroom yet. The door stood partly open, but she was nowhere to be seen. I peered around the doorway of the kitchen, but it was empty. Left with no other choice, I made my way reluctantly to the bathroom. "'Scuse me," I muttered, peeking with slitted eyes into the bathroom. But there was no one in there, either. I opened my eyes all the way and frown into the room. The bathtub was still mostly full, and the floor was covered in a thin sheet of water. The cabinet hung open, and there was a mess on the counter. I poked around a bit, looking for other things that were unusual. The clothes Lucy had been wearing earlier lay on the tiles, sopping wet and see-through. An idea came to me as I stared down at the sink and I kneed the knot of wood just barely visible through the paint on the wooden stand below the sink. The secret drawer Lucy kept her money in slid open. I looked inside curiously, and went numb.
It was empty. She had cleaned it out completely. What was she thinking? That was her precious money for paying rent and buying food! She had worked so hard for that money. What the hell could she be buying? I stomped out of the bathroom, ready to search the whole city for her, when it occurred to me that her keys weren't on the desk. Why would she take her keys to go shopping? A bad feeling was creeping up my spine as I surveyed her apartment. It seemed empty, suddenly. Like it had been abandoned. I tried to laugh it off. How could Lucy abandon this place? It was her home.
Still, I went through her drawers. They were almost empty. Several of Lucy's favorite outfits were missing, and her stash of hair ribbons was gone. It was like she had packed up and... Left.
"I refuse to believe that," I announced. "Lucy wouldn't leave on a job without me." Maybe she was waiting at the guild for me, and I had just forgotten we had a job. But usually, I was too excited to forget a job. It was all too weird. I decided I would go through her desk before I checked at the guild. As I opened and shut drawers filled with paper and pens and paper clips and envelopes, I noticed Lucy's novel, half-covered by books. Hesitantly, I dug it out from under the pile and flipped to the middle.
"I love you, Natsu." I blinked. Say what now? "I love you. And I wanted you to know, even if I'm just your teammate." Natsu looked at me, adorable confusion written plainly on his face. I wanted so badly to kiss him.
"What do you mean, Lucy? I knew already." I gasped softly. He knew? All this time, all the hiding and lies, and he already knew? Natsu grinned at me, making my stomach do backflips. "After all, you love everyone in Fairy Tail, right?"
I dropped the novel on the desk and flumped to the floor. That conversation seemed incredibly familiar. It was kinda like the one we'd had earlier, actually, when I'd said I loved everyone in Fairy Tail. For some reason, I seemed really insensitive and clueless for saying that. I crossed my arms and sighed grumpily. "Well, I'm terribly sorry for that."
I tried to ignore the novel, but eventually I had to know what happened next. So I picked up the thick stack of paper and leafed through until I found my place.
"You don't get it," I mumbled thickly, choking back tears. "That's not the kind of love I meant." Natsu cocked his head and looked at me innocently.
"Then, what did you mean?" I felt my cheeks ignite and looked away.
"I don't love you like I love the rest of Fairy Tail, Natsu. I love you like... Like a woman loves a man. You know?" He shook his head slowly. I sighed and gazed at the floor. How could I show him... "Natsu." He blinked.
"Yeah?" I beckoned to him with my hand. He leaned forward curiously. "What is it?" I took a long, deep breath and braced myself for what I was about to do. I pushed my back off the floor and leaned into Natsu until his lips met mine and we were kissing. After a moment, I broke away. Natsu stared wide-eyed at me in shock. "W-what..." I glanced up at him shyly.
"I love you like that." He raised a trembling finger to his lips, still just staring at me in utter shock.
For the second time, I dropped Lucy's novel. "What... What the hell is this?" I muttered, staring at it. I felt hotter than usual, especially in my cheeks. "It couldn't be like... It couldn't be like that was true, right? She doesn't really feel that way, does she?" I covered my face with my hands, slumping over into my lap. When I'm around you, I feel weird.
Weird?
Maybe I shouldn't have said it that way. I... might've hurt her feelings. I scrambled to my feet, running out the door and down the stairs to the street outside. It was suddenly imperative that I reach the guild and find Lucy as soon as possible.
When I burst through the guild doors, it was well past sundown, and everyone turned to stare at me. I sped between the tables to where Mira was cleaning the bar. "MIRA!" She didn't look up. "MIRA!" I shouted, right in her face. She flinched, and looked up slowly. Her usual smile was a little off.
"No need to scream, Natsu. I'm not deaf, you know." I ignored her comment.
"Have you seen Lucy?" I pretended not to notice how her eyes wouldn't meet mine. "Was she here?" Mira nodded.
"She'll be away for a while." I frowned, my fingers tapping nervously on the bar.
"Is she on a job with someone?" Mira winced, her hand tightening on the rag she was using.
"Well, not exactly." I was about to question her further when Gramps' voice rang down from the top of the stairs.
"Listen, brat!" I looked up at him, waiting for his explanation. "Lucy is on temporary leave." I gaped at him, my fingers stilling. She's on what? "She will be traveling on her own for a year or so." The guild, by this time, was completely silent.
"What..." Levy's voice echoed softly behind me. She sounded like she was going to cry. "What do you mean, Lu will be gone for a year? And she's all by herself? Why didn't she tell me?" More complaints and questions erupted, throwing the guild hall into chaos. I just stood there like a rock, frozen in place. She left. She really, honestly left.
Why? Why would she leave me here without her?
"DAMN IT!" I roared, startling everyone else into silence again. I glared all around me, daring anyone to come forward with an explanation. I didn't expect the one who did, though.
"Natsu," Happy said quietly, padding towards with something clutched in his blue paws. "Lucy asked me to give this to you." I knelt down and accepted the crackly white paper from him. It was a letter, addressed to me. I stomped over to an empty table in the corner to read it.
Natsu, it read, I'm really sorry. But I think this is for the best, since our feelings are so different. You never felt it, of course. But it haunts me, this love you will never return. I know you think I love you just the same as everyone else in Fairy Tail. That is a lie. I love you more. Or, maybe I should say I love you differently. I don't feel the need to kiss Gray every time he smiles like an idiot, for example. I love you like a woman loves a man. If you're having trouble understanding, watch Al and Bisca for a while. You'll see the difference.
But I know you don't see me like that. Natsu, I want to tell you a few more things about love, true love. It hurts. It's hard, like you said. And loving someone who will never love you back is the worst of all. Ask Juvia – her love towards Gray is like that. She hasn't loved him as long as I've loved you, though. She hasn't reached the breaking point yet.
Master probably told you already, but I'm leaving to travel and grow stronger. I might come back someday. I might not. I need to get away from the love that clawing through my skin, find a way to just be your friend. The truth is, I didn't want you to be sorry about that kiss. I wanted you to tell me then, that you cared about me the way I care about you. It was a silly hope.
My fingers clenched tightly in the paper, wrinkling it. A small tear appeared on the edge, spreading into the middle.
You know, I kept thinking about the word 'forever' today. I know you won't be around to protect me forever. I know we won't be this way forever. I know I won't love you forever. But sometimes, I wish I could freeze those happy moments when it's just you and me, laughing together. I'm not thinking about not loving you then. Forever is a long time, isn't it? But I wouldn't mind forever, if you were by my side.
I love you. I'm glad I met you. Goodbye.
Lucy
The whole thing burst into flames, burning the page to ashes in a matter of seconds. I sat there trembling, wishing I could burn away the words seared into my mind. A hand on my shoulder made me jump.
"That's rough, man," Gajeel's gravelly voice commented. I leapt to my feet, fists up and flaming.
"Got something to say?" He held up his hands to indicate he wasn't there to fight.
"Cool it, flame breath. Came to see if Lucy's ever coming back" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to where Levy was crying and hugging Mirajane. "Levy's pretty upset." I sighed and dropped my hands.
"I don't know." He grunted and crossed his arms, turning away.
"Oh. I guess you really don't care if she stays or goes then," he said airily. My fist was clenched in his shirt, pulling his ugly mug to mine, before he could take another step.
"What'd you say, metal face?" I growled. He grinned.
"You heard me, Salamander. What're you gonna do about this?" I scowled and let him go, storming past him to the doors of the guild.
"I'm getting her back, obviously," I shouted to him. Without another glance, I strode off into the night, Happy close behind, Gajeel's laughter still ringing in my ears.
I'm coming for you, Lucy.
Ok. Let's hear it. I'm awesome, aren't I? Yeah, I am. Flamio. Right, so I'm thinking no more than two more chapters. Having said that, it's likely that there will five or six. But hey, no complaints on your part, right? ANYWAY, review! Follow! Favorite! If you're so lazy you cant bring yourself to click a freaking BUTTON, I fear for your future. But have a nice day! Updates will be soon (or maybe not).