Nadir observed helplessly as Erik threw himself into a deep pit of depression and self-loathing. He knew it had something to do with that woman, Christina Davies, the poor dear! He had felt terrible when Erik had come home and told him her fiancé had been killed. Erik had locked himself away in his music room and hadn't emerged for two days. Nadir wondered what had become of her; they hadn't seen her or heard from her in over a year.
Christina looked around at her home. She hadn't been there in twelve months. After Rodney's death she'd had to get away, everywhere she looked she saw little touches of him and felt as though she was suffocating. So, she ran, away from her memories and from him…
She had finally decided to change her job in the Army or be reclassed, as it was called in 'Army-ese'. She spent nearly a year in school, thinking of nothing but her training. Every morning during PT she ran the hardest and pushed herself the farthest. Her superiors kept a cautious eye on her. They'd heard about her 'situation' and made sure she didn't do anything stupid. Captain LeChance watched as she pushed herself harder each day, but knew that she had to overcome her grief in her own way. He also knew that she couldn't hide from her pain, as much as she wanted to. She couldn't.
A war veteran, Captain LeChance knew very well the pain of losing friends, friends so close they were the same as family. He'd buried too many loved ones…it never got easier, especially since they seemed to be getting younger and younger every time he turned around! Specialist Davies couldn't be more than 24, and he knew her fiancé had been her age. So young to be hurt so much! But everyone had lost 'someone' in the war. As huge as the Army may seem, it's really a relatively small community…it hurt.
When she achieved her goal, he asked her what she planned on doing. With a weary heart she replied, "I want to go home."
And home is where she stood; everything was as she left it. Nothing was out of place, she loved it…she hated it. It was as if he hadn't existed, as if he hadn't died.
She pushed those thoughts away as she set about unpacking. Once she was settled in again, she was rummaging through her kitchen when she found something…something she'd forgotten about. She picked up the bottle of wine, and considered it for a time. Then, impulsively, she grabbed her keys, and hurried over to Erik's. Her year away had changed her thoughts somewhat about how she would live the rest of her life. She had discovered while she was away that, in her mind, her memory of Rodney's face had slowly, every so slowly, turned into Erik's…. Rodney's curly blonde mop had become Erik's straight black hair, falling over his forehead slightly and just brushing the edge of his pristine white mask.
Lord how she'd missed him!
She'd thought a lot about Rodney. She would never forget him. But the realization that he wasn't coming back had really, truly sunk in. She also knew he would hate to see her like this, pale and thin and miserable. He'd tell her to get off her lazy ass and go enjoy life like she used to…so that's what she had decided to do. One baby step at a time.
She smoothed her pants out nervously. She hadn't seen Erik since she'd bolted from his home that night, and she hadn't given him one clue about where she had been
Stephan answered the door, and was pleasantly surprised when he saw Christina. But this young woman looked much healthier and happier than the one he remembered. He ushered her to the parlor and asked her to wait there while he fetched Erik. She waited tensely, wondering if he would be angry with her for just up and leaving for no reason and with no warning…
Erik clenched and unclenched his fists nervously outside the parlor doors. It had been a year since he'd seen her last and much had changed and yet nothing had changed. Taking a breath he entered the room. Christina rose off the edge of the sofa on which she had been perched.
"Erik, hi. Um…" she stuttered nervously before thrusting the bottle of wine at him. "A thank you, for everything you did for me that day."
Erik took the bottle from her.
"Thank you, my dear, though you needn't do this…" his voice trailed off. She looked good, scratch that, she looked amazing!
Christina shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously.
"I wanted to, I didn't properly thank you. It was rude of me."
He opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off.
"No, please, just let me do this!"
Erik shut his mouth and nodded, keeping his eyes on the wine in his hands.
"Would you like some?" he asked, holding up the bottle.
She nodded.
"Sure, it's my favorite. I didn't know what you liked, so I just got that and hoped." She gave him a small smile that lit up her entire face.
"I'm sure I'll love It." He disappeared from the room and returned moments later with a corkscrew and two wine glasses.
He poured her a glass and handed it to her before pouring one for himself. They sat in a rather uncomfortable silence as they sipped the wine. Finally, Erik managed to break the silence.
"You are well?"
"Yes" She took a sip of wine, knowing he wanted to know where she had been but was timid to ask. "I was away, I changed my job in the Army so I was at Fort Lee in Virginia. I left here the day I graduated." She smiled wryly "I didn't even stick around for the actual graduation ceremony; I just packed my stuff in my car and drove to Virginia."
Erik could well understand the need to flee, that's what he'd tried to do after he recovered from the fire.
"I understand, more than you will ever know." Damn! Why must I say such stupid things!
Christina wanted to ask what he meant by that, but the look in his eyes told her not to She set her empty glass down and sat back in her chair.
"I didn't mean to take off without a word, but it just seemed easier for me at the time."
"You have no need to explain to me, my dear. I'm not your parent."
The last line had been a bit harsh; she was more than surprised at the hurt that was infused in his words. She didn't want to dwell on it for too long.
It appeared to her that Erik didn't want her around, and stood.
"Well, I um…I should get going, I guess," she mumbled.
Erik mentally kicked himself; he'd had no right to speak to her like that! He was on his feet quickly.
"Ms. Davies! Wait"
Ms. Davies…when did I stop being Christina and go to Ms. Davies. Is this the man who held me after I was hit by the car? The man who comforted me when I found out about Rodney? Where did that tender, caring man go? She wondered. Did my leaving hurt him that much? Now you flatter yourself! Her mind raged at her. You assume that you meant something to him to begin with; he's just a nice man! Move on sister!
But it wasn't that easy. He looked so sad and so alone. She wanted to help. She may never fall in love with a man again, but that didn't stop her from being a friend to the tragic man in front of her. She looked at him, almost afraid to look into his eyes, afraid to see what emotions were swirling around inside those unique orbs.
"Forgive me my dear. I had no right to speak to you so harshly."
She smiled sweetly at him.
"There's no need to apologize Er-Mr. Montgomery" Fine if he wants to play Mr. Withdrawn and aloof I can play that game too! "I left without a word to anyone. After everything you did it was very ungrateful of me."
When he did not respond, she turned and left. Erik could hardly believe that she had come to see him, willingly! She even apologized for not saying goodbye when she left, though he could hardly blame her! Attempting to not put too much thought into her actions, Erik returned to his music room and allowed his music to take him over, it was the only outlet he had these days so he took what little relief it offered him.
As Christina unpacked the rest of her belongings she thought about the tragic Erik Montgomery. On a whim, she'd done an Internet search on his name while she was down in Virginia and she'd found out some very interesting things about this man. She read about the fire which claimed the life of his wife and daughter and explained the curious white mask he always wore on his face. It also explained the air of tragedy and pain that surrounded him and manifested itself in his eyes. It explained the odd attraction and connection that she'd felt to him, they'd both loved and lost a great deal.
Christina wondered if he had any real 'friends' that he could talk to. Her close friends, Jackie and Meg, had been her salvation in the past months. They wouldn't allow her to sink too deeply into the depression that had tried to take hold of her in the weeks and months after Rodney's death. Even still, they pestered her and kept her social calendar quite full though they were both smart enough to 'not' set her up with any men. Both wisely assumed she hadn't completely gotten over Rodney and his sudden death.
If she wanted his friendship, Christina would have to move slowly with Erik, lest she push him even further away from her then he already was.
She was back! He could hardly believe that she'd come back, or that she had let him know of her return. For so long he'd contented himself with watching her from his window, but now that he'd had a taste of her companionship, he wanted more!
At first Erik tried not to think too much of her return. He buried himself in his work, barely eating or sleeping. Nadir and Stephan had long ago given up trying to reason with Erik when he got like this. It was easier to let him be and pick up the pieces later. Nadir hoped that this woman could perhaps help heal Erik's shattered heart. He knew he was a good man who had a great deal to offer someone, if he was just given a chance. If they could just see past his face and his dreadful temper.
It was a small step, but a step nonetheless. Every day after her run, Christina would stop by Erik's house. For the first week or so she'd stayed for only a few minutes. But she and Erik soon became a bit more comfortable with each other so some nights she would stay for an hour or so, and then Erik would graciously offer to drive her home. She would gently refuse, saying she needed the exercise. It was a comfortable routine for both of them since each was afraid to let the other get too close.
They kept everything light and cheerful between them, he steering clear of his past and she staying away from any talk of love or men. It was during this time that Christina discovered that Erik could sing…
Erik opened the door to the music room cautiously, he'd been showing her around his home and this was the last room of the house. She gasped when she saw the beautiful grand piano in the center of the room.
"Mr. Montgomery, do you play?"
He frowned; she still called him 'Mr. Montgomery' just as he refused to call her by her Christian name.
"Yes."
She looked up at him.
"Will you do me the honor?"
Unable to deny her anything, he walked to the piano and sat down. Christina loved to watch him do anything; his tall 6'2 frame moved so gracefully and effortlessly that it was almost breathtaking. She settled herself in one of the many overstuffed chairs in the room and watched as his long fingers caressed the ivory keys. She shivered when she briefly imagined his fingers on her body.
Where in the hell did 'that' come from?
She thought no more of it when she heard the first notes. The music he created surrounded her like a blanket, so tangible that she felt she could wrap herself up in it. The notes poured effortlessly from his fingers. As the last notes died away, she began to applaud.
"That was exquisite! I've never heard anyone produce music like that!"
"Thank you, my dear. It was one of my own compositions."
She laughed.
"Is there anything you're not good at?" she teased.
"There are many things in this world I haven't yet attempted," he retorted, "For example, I haven't joined the military, nor am I ever likely to,"
Christina grinned,
"It's not for everyone. But weren't you a civilian contractor for the military at one time?"
His face grew serious.
"I never told you about that. How did you know that?"
Damn, stupid, stupid, Christina!
Her face paled slightly; there would be no escaping the question now. Before she could open her mouth to answer, Erik turned his back on her. "Please leave." His voice was but a ragged whisper.
She rose and moved to put her hand on his shoulder, but he turned back toward her, his eyes burning with rage."Get out!"
Christina could take no more; she turned and marched out of the music room with her head held high. She didn't want him to see the hurt in her eyes from his rejection. She knew she shouldn't have let him know that she knew more about him then he had shared with her, but she couldn't understand why he was so angry. She hoped that in time he would tell her…she hoped he'd allow her to see him again, period.