Erik flipped his phone shut, leaned back into his seat on his private jet and closed his eyes. Only one more day until he'd be home! Tomorrow he could eat real food, sleep in a real bed and see Christina. He'd spoken to Nadir every day, making sure she had everything she could possibly want. He hated being so far away and unable to do anything! He hated feeling out of control!
He stared out the tiny window, looking but not seeing.
Nadir told him that she'd moved back into her own home. While Jason was away on business Nadir had taken her to her physical therapy sessions…a task Erik would take over once he returned home. He'd instructed Nadir to hire a cook and housekeeper for Chris but two days later he'd been informed that a very irate Christina had dismissed both. It was apparent that she didn't like being treated like an invalid.
Every night when Erik closed his eyes he saw her face and heard her laughter. He thought he'd die when he saw her crumple to the ground after the first round hit her. He refused to lose anyone else to tragedy like he lost his beloved Alexis. He vowed he would do everything in his power to ensure Christina's safety.
When he'd talk to Nadir, the man would ask the same thing…'have you called her?' And every time his question was met with silence. He was too much of a coward to call her…he didn't want to hear the pain in her voice. He knew all too well the difficulties associated with a long, painful recovery and he'd never wish that kind of pain on anyone, much less her. She deserved so much more than that!
His first stop would be her house.
The skies were fully dark when, mercifully, his plane finally landed. Erik had been pacing like a caged tiger for the past few hours. He was anxious to see Christina, make sure she was okay. When Nadir appeared at the airport with a car, Erik didn't even greet his friend, he grunted in his direction and got in the car.
"Take me to Christina's."
"Erik, she's most likely sleeping," Nadir pointed out, gesturing to the late hour shown on the dashboard clock.
"Fine, just go to my house, then," Erik mumbled, settling down into the seat. It felt good to be home!
Chris groaned as she rolled out of bed the next day. Mornings were always the hardest time of day for her. She often times woke up stiff, sometimes her leg hurt. A long hot shower normally did the trick, so after standing under the scalding water far longer than necessary, she stepped out, wrapped a fluffy towel around herself and hobbled her way into her bedroom to dress for the day. At least she didn't have a therapy appointment today and, thankfully, warm weather had arrived early so she could get away with shorts rather than trying to deal with long pants.
A look at the clock told Christina that Nadir would be over shortly, bearing breakfast and a newspaper. You could set a clock by that man! Right on time there was the tell-tale knock on the door just as the coffee was done percolating.
"C'mon in Nadir!" she shouted. She'd given him a key to her townhouse when she moved back in; it had been so difficult for her to make it to the door when he or anyone of the staff from Erik's would come by. Hastily preparing a cup of coffee for Nadir, she set it on the counter and turned around, smiling. There were two tall figures standing in her dining room.
Erik shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the next, the man next to him watched with some amusement. Christina felt her heart leap into her throat.
"Good morning Christina," Erik said carefully, as though she would attack him. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything?"
When the power of speech returned to Chris, she smiled nervously, shaking her head at Erik's question.
"No, no, not at all." She handed Nadir his coffee, which he took, offering a quiet 'thank you' before he sat down at the table.
"Would you like a cup of coffee Erik?"
"Please" he responded. He watched her as she moved slowly across the kitchen, taking a cup out of the cupboard. He wanted to help! But he knew that it would only make her mad.
She set his cup on the table along with cream and sugar, should he desire them. Chris eased herself into a chair and took a long sip of her own coffee, afraid that if she broke the silence in the dining room Erik would disappear.
"You look well," Erik offered.
"Thank you, so do you" she replied, smiling at him. He looked 'very' good, the days spent outside working tanned his skin to a sexy golden brown and brought out some red in his nearly black hair. Very good indeed!
"Nadir has been telling me that you're doing quite well in your physical therapy."
"Yeah, pretty soon I won't need my crutches!" she jerked a thumb to the implements of torture that rested next to her seat.
Erik was unsure how to bring up his next question, though with someone like Chris it was best to just get everything out into the open.
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to take you to your therapy sessions." He looked down into his coffee cup, not brave enough to look her in the eye.
Christina attempted to hide her excitement; now that he was home she realized just 'how' much she had been missing her mystery man.
"That sounds fine, though I warn you, it's at 8 am…and traffic is usually terrible."
Erik waved a hand dismissively. "I'm not concerned with that, I'll be by to pick you up tomorrow morning at 7:15 sharp."
"I'll have coffee ready here," she said smiling. Maybe now she could get him to open up…
The next morning, seven fifteen arrived, Chris was ready to go and waiting by the door with two cups of coffee sitting on the table next to the front door. Erik barely had a chance to knock on the door when it swung open, revealing a very happy, bubbly Christina.
"Good morning!" she said handing him a cup. "Ready?"
"I believe I should be asking you that, my dear."
"Yep, let's get this show on the road." She hobbled out, taking her time going down the five stairs that led to her townhouse. The last thing she needed was a twisted ankle on top of her injured leg. Erik carried her coffee for her; keeping a very close eye on her to be sure she didn't fall. Settling her into the car, he hurried to the other side, got in and started driving.
Without Nadir around, Erik was able to relax around Christina quite a bit. He glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye, watching as she sipped her coffee and watched the passing landscape.
"How long have you been home?" her voice broke through the silence.
"I got here the night before last, but I arrived Stateside nearly a week ago. Standard debrief and the like."
"Ah, a bunch of sitting around congratulating each other on a job well-done!"
Erik chuckled, "Indeed, I was bored out of my skull."
"I don't blame ya."
Silence reigned once again, Chris had so many questions she wanted to ask but wasn't brave enough…she wanted to ask him about the fire, about his wife and daughter, about his enforced solitude…she remembered how he had reacted the last time she mentioned his past, and clamped her mouth firmly shut.
But then, if she'd learned anything from her near-death experience it was that life was too short and you had to take every chance you could…if you didn't you weren't truly living.
"Erik, I have some questions that I need to ask you. You'll probably be angry with me for asking. I know, I promised you I would never ask about," she took a breath, "About your past." She stopped when she saw him stiffen slightly and grip the steering wheel more tightly. She couldn't back down now!
"But I want to know you, Erik. I want to help you."
' I want to love you,' her mind screamed-where did that thought come from?
Erik swallowed hard, but nodded. His jaw was clenched tight, and she could see the tension in his entire body. But she 'had' to know…
"What happened to you, Erik?" she asked softly. "You are brilliant, successful and talented in so many different fields. Why did you seclude yourself for so long?"
Erik could feel his heart pounding in his chest; he had hoped she would never ask…how could he explain it to her? How could he poison her with his misery? He risked a glance over at her face, which was taut with concern, and he felt his fear melting…somewhat.
His mouth felt dry, so he took a long draw from his coffee cup before beginning. "I was in a house fire; it caused significant damage to the right side of my face. Between the burns and six reconstructive surgeries, it was nearly three years before my face healed to the point it has." He swallowed; he'd never discussed this with anyone before, and it was damned uncomfortable!
"I realized I'd never have a 'normal' face again, the damage was too extensive. So, like a wounded animal, I returned to my lair to lick my wounds, so to speak." He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, not daring to look at his companion.
"I chose to seclude myself because I couldn't handle the horror and pity on people's faces when they saw me. When I did have to go out into the world, I took to wearing this mask. My friends and colleagues all knew what I looked like before the fire and felt sorry for me for my plight. The mask makes me more of a curiosity than a monster. Over the years, it has almost become part of me."
Chris made a sound of anger. He glanced over at her.
"Then you need to find better friends!" she declared. "How dare those people treat you like that!" She crossed her arms over her chest. She looked like a beautiful avenging angel. Erik had never had anyone defend him like that…it melted the ice around his heart a little more.
"I couldn't stand being treated differently because of this," he gestured to the mask "So, rather than attempting to change the people around me, I went into seclusion. It seemed much easier at the time."
"Erik! You," she stopped, her mouth drawn in the thin line that he had learned to associate with her anger, "You never should've felt like you had to conform for other people. If they don't like you the way you are, then damn them! Not you!"
Erik managed a wobbly smile. "If only I had your strength, Christina," he murmured.
"But Erik, you do! Even with all that terribly tragic stuff that happened to you, you overcame it and survived! You are the strongest person I know!" she declared, turning in her seat to face him.
"Erik, I promise you that you never have to hide anything from me! There is nothing shameful about your face or what happened to you! It's a crime that other people made you feel ashamed of who you are."
Erik opened his mouth to argue with her, but she silenced him with a look. "No! Listen. I have seen a lot in my stint in the Army. I saw more horrors than you could ever imagine as I recovered in that hospital. I saw people who had suffered chemical burns, had amputations, had their faces ripped nearly off by gunfire or shrapnel." She stopped, her facing losing some color as she was lost in her own memories "And, I can guarantee that I've seen much worse than your face. I've seen what human cruelty can do to other people…there is nothing more gruesome and terrifying than seeing the power we humans have over each other."
She took a breath, calming herself. She knew that if she got herself too worked up, Erik would retreat back into himself and never confide in her again.
"You shouldn't hide yourself away, Erik. You're too wonderful to do something like that!" She smiled weakly. "When I saw you in that room in Afghanistan, all those months ago, I was beyond happy. I saw that you had finally chosen let yourself live up to your potential, let yourself out of your self-imposed prison. I can only hope that you won't hide yourself away any more."
She ached to take one of his hands in hers, but she couldn't find the courage.
"Don't hide yourself from me," she said softly, so softly he almost didn't hear. He turned to look at her, but she'd turned back in her seat and turned her gaze back out the window. She'd opened a can of worms and she regretted her harsh reaction…she fought to regain control of her emotions. She hated showing weakness that to anyone, especially Erik.