Hey everyone! I'm back (kind of). I'm so so so very sorry it has taken me so long to update this story! I hope you all enjoy!

With her head resting against her lover's chest, his arms securely around her she too felt the events of the day crashing down on her. Adrenaline is an amazing thing…she hadn't felt all that scared at the moment, but now she felt herself shaking at the memories…of a hand wrapped around her throat, the power he had over her. No doubt why he got off on things like that, sick bastard that he was. Pain had set in to her bruised body; her knees were missing the first layer of skin, were turning different colors already and were stiff as hell. She knew she'd have fingerprints around her neck that would be sure to send Erik through the roof once he saw them.

His hand threaded through her hair before drifting down her jaw line to tip her head up, he examined her neck, his lips disappearing when he saw the faint bruises already starting to show.

"Are you okay Christina?" he asked softly, his eyes imploring her to be okay.

Resting her own hand over his she nodded "Yes, a little battered and bruised but I'm fine" she pulled him down for a soft kiss "I'm afraid Nicholas took one for the team and not in a very good way"

Erik nodded, a grim smile on his handsome face "Yes, I saw the medics taking care of him. We'll have to be sure to visit him in the next few days. He'll most likely need some friends"

"Do you feel a little better? About knowing the who? I doubt we'll ever know the why"

He considered that for a moment "It gives me a small piece of mind to know who, to know he'll never have the chance to harm me or the people I love again. But I'll never be okay with what happened Chris" his eyes slid shut and his lips quivered "You make it easier though" He pulled her in for a kiss "You have healed so many of my hurts Christina, I don't know if you realize everything you've done for me"

Chris led him from the desk to the loveseat; towel still wrapped around her "You deserve so much more Erik. I'm glad I've been able to do something for you because you have given me everything"

"Not everything" he whispered quietly.

She turned her head to look at him, wondering where he was going with this.

"Christina I can tell you without a doubt that I love you and I would give you anything and everything in my power to make you happy. One day I want to make you my wife, not right now. Things are still too new and I'm not a man that rushes into things"

Her amused giggle broke into his thoughts, when he looked at her in question she explained by saying "Well yeah because it took you nearly three years to make a move"

"Indeed. I want to be sure that this" he gestured to his face and body "Are what you want. He quieted her immediate reaction with a gesture "I know you love and desire me. But I am not an easy man to be with, I'm very set in my ways and more often than not it's my way or the highway" he smirked as he quoted Nadir "But I love being with you and I want to devote the rest of my life to your happiness"

Unsure of what to say to his heartfelt declaration, delving into herself she thought about what she wanted for the future. Knawing on her lower lip, leaning against Erik as fatigue hit her full on. There was plenty of time in the coming weeks and months for her to contemplate all that Erik had said. For the moment, she needed to get dressed and lay down. Once the Adrenaline rush subsided she was left with nothing but bone deep exhaustion and the dull ache in her entire body that was sure to feel like hell when she woke up.

With a soft kiss plucked onto his lips Chris pulled away and pulled clean clothes on and ran a brush through her knotted, wet hair. Erik had disappeared when she emerged from the bathroom, with a sigh she threw herself onto the bed trying to figure out what she should do. Should she eat? Perhaps just call it a day?

Her answer came in the form of Stephan entering the room with a tray of food. He set the tray on a table in the sitting room attached to the bedroom. "I thought perhaps you would want something to eat," he told Chris, a concerned look on his face. She gave him a grateful smile and said "Thank you, it smells wonderful." Giving the elderly butler a pat on the arm she moved into the sitting room, heard the door shut softly.

Homemade Minestrone soup, sourdough bread that was still warm from the oven…heaven. Christina sat and began eating, savoring every bite. Once the bowl was empty and bread nothing but a few errant crumbs on the plate she pushed to her feet and padded into the bedroom. Erik was just returning from wherever he'd been, he offered her a small smile and took her hand, leading her to the bed.

"I'm sure you're tired?" he asked, looking into her eyes and seeing her fatigue and pain seeping in. He handed her two pills, which she took gratefully.

"Thank you, everything just aches right now but I'm sure in a few hours I'm going to feel like crap"

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. She took that as an invitation to wrap her arms around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder. There were no words to be said, each was taking comfort in the silence. After a moment she kicked her pants off, slid into the bed and was asleep in seconds.

Only when he was sure she was indeed asleep did Erik do the same, watching her carefully for a moment before allowing sleep to claim him as well.

The next morning Christina did indeed feel like crap, her neck had dark blue and purple bruises around it. Her entire body was racked with pain. With a groan she pushed herself up onto her elbow. Erik was still asleep, his breathing deep and even. Christina noted the dark circles under his eyes and how tired he looked even in sleep. She hadn't fully realized the emotional toll this entire experience had taken on him. He'd been faced with the man who had murdered his wife and child and almost succeeded in killing his girlfriend.

Chris bent down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. She would do everything in her power to ease his pain and help him through what was sure to be a hellish few days…perhaps even longer.

Erik came awake when he felt her lips on his; his eyes snapped open and were unfocused for a moment before settling on her face. His entire body relaxed when he saw her sweet smile.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice scratchy from sleep.

"Like hell, but I've had worse. I'll live" she said in the hopes of lightening the somber mood with some humor.

A hand came up and brushed a stray curl away from her face before pulling her down next to him, tucked safely against his side. She wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his shoulder as her head came to rest on it.

They laid in silence for a few moments, both waking up fully and processing the events from the previous night. She knew he was reliving every moment because he was very tense against her.

Placing a kiss on his neck before sitting up to press a kiss to his mouth she felt some of the tension leave his body. His hand drifted up into her hair and pulled her back down to kiss her fully on the lips.

Their panicked love making the night before had eased the urgency he might have felt to take comfort in her. That out of the way he was able to love her properly, to show her exactly how he felt about her without having to say the words.

Once showered and dressed in actual clothes Chris had to go down to the police station and give her statement. Erik escorted her there and waited…somewhat patiently as he spoke to several people. With that complete she emerged from the interview room with a smile on her face. If it went to trial she would have to testify but Detective Michaels was fairly sure he would avoid a trial by pleading insanity. They might never know why Tristan did the things he did, he was clearly very ill.

After a quick visit to the hospital to see that Nick was going to be fine, home in a few days Erik insisted on returning to his home. The entire experience had been emotionally and physically exhausting for both Erik and Christina.

Chris made her way to the master suite while Erik went to his office to attend to business matters. He'd been very quiet in the car on the way home and didn't say a word to her once the walked in the house. Would they never have any peace?

Collapsing on the bed for a moment Chris felt restless…she needed to do something. If she'd hadn't fought for her life and had the crap kicked out of her the night before she'd go for a run…in lieu of that she chose to go for a swim and sunbathe for a while.

With her hair piled on top of her head, clad in her bathing suit and slathered with sunscreen she walked out of the house and made her way to the pool. After dumping her towels onto a lounge chair she waded into the pool, sighing in pleasure as she started swimming laps. Once she was out of breath and a bit sore she relaxed on the stairs, enjoying the sun and the water.

Erik cleared his throat as he approached the pool, not wanting to startle the occupant. With a lazy smile she turned her face up to look at him "Hey, everything okay?"

Crouching down to her level Erik nodded and caressed her cheek "Yes. I wanted to check on you"

"I'm fine Erik. Why don't you join me?" she asked with a smile, he'd been a little disconnected with her since the previous evening. She knew that it was because of the revelations from the investigation, he needed extra attention.

And so half an hour later Erik was easing himself into the pool, Chris was a hard woman to say no to. It was difficult for him to swim laps with the mask on so he stayed by Chris's side unsure of what to do. Chris moved in from of him and lifted the mask from his face, kissing the scarred side as she did to ease the sting. He flinched and shut his eyes as he heard the leather hit the concrete.

"Erik open your eyes" his lover pleaded softly "Look at me"

Unable to resist he did, seeing her smiling face. His body was taut, his eyes darting around looking for unsuspecting servants to be about. When he felt his hands on his shoulders his eyes flew open.

"You don't need to wear your mask while you're here Erik. This is your home" her fingers were tracing his jaw up to his cheek. Erik tried to pull away from her hands, unable to tolerate the feel of her skin on his for the moment. Masking the hurt she felt from this Chris grabbed his hands, refusing to let him run away from this.

"Erik!" she called as he rounded on her "Stop, talk to me" she pleaded putting herself in his path once more, she pulled him into her arms and felt how tense he was, he was ready to snap at any moment. The emotional toll of the last few weeks having worn him down almost completely.

"There's nothing to say" he responded angrily.

"Yes, yes there is! I can see it in your eyes. Erik you're angry, you're allowed to be angry! You're allowed to feel hurt and sad. What happened to your wife and daughter was terrible and you were finally able to see the man who is responsible for those terrible things" Chris pulled back to look at him "But you can't just withdraw into yourself. You need to allow yourself to feel angry and hurt. You need to talk to me or Nadir or hell talk to the cook! But you have to talk to someone before you explode!"

And explode he did Erik grabbed her arms, not being careful of her injuries but Chris was beyond caring, she knew that Erik needed this catharsis. "I don't know what to say Christina! I have no idea what I'm supposed to say or feel or do! I don't know!" he shouted. "I…I…" the tears started to fall down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking but his grip never lessened "I am angry, I…I've never wanted to kill someone more than I want to kill him! He did this to me, he took away my everything!"

Nadir heard the shouting and went running to the gate around the pool but when he saw Chris try to motion him away he eased back…clearly she had this under control, he would wait there to make sure Erik didn't get carried away.

"He ruined my life that night! Took away everything I loved and just when I started to accept that…just when I started feeling happy again he tried to take you away! I wanted to kill him with my bare hands!" Erik raged, tears coursing down his cheeks and blurring his vision.

Finally he released her arms and sank down onto the steps behind him, his expression dazed and blank. Christina eased herself between his knees and took his face in her hands, wiping the tears away with the pads of her thumbs. When he felt her fingers on his face he snapped out of it and bowed his head until it was resting on her chest as his sobs racked his body. All she could do was hold him, pressing kisses to temple and cheeks.

Long minutes ticked away, finally Erik was all cried out and exhausted. Christina tipped his head up so he was looking at her and wiped the tears away from his eyes before leaning in to kiss his lips.

"I told you that I don't want to replace Alexis, I don't want you to forget her. I don't want you to ever stop loving her" he started to speak but she silenced him "But Erik…you have to allow yourself to move on. I love you, all of you. There's not one thing about you that I don't adore" she brushed his hair away from his face "But honey you have to move on and you haven't yet. I know you say you have and I know you think you have but there was no way for you 'to' move on until you had some closure." He was watching her carefully, unsure where she was going with this.

"You will never have answers from Tristan about 'why', he's too sick to know himself. But you have a face to put to the monster who stole so much from you and you can close the door on that chapter of your life because he's in jail and probably will die there." It broke her heart to have to do this but she knew it was necessary.

"You owe it to yourself to take some time-"

"No!" Erik interrupted desperately "No, I'm"

Christina kissed him again, silencing his interruption. "You need to take some time to come to terms with everything that's happened. You need to make sure that you are whole before we can continue." She forced a smile "Because if this is where you want to be" she continued meaning with her "Then you need to make sure you have a clean break. It wouldn't be fair to either of us any other way"

Even though he hated this Erik knew she was right, he owed it to himself and her to do this. All he could do was nod, unable to meet her eyes. "What will you do?" he whispered, she had nowhere to go until her townhouse was renovated after the fire damage.

"I'll stay with my brother until my townhouse is finished"

"I wish there was another way"

"I know" Chris leaned in to kiss him again; he pulled her against him and deepened the kiss.

"I love you," he murmured against her lips. Forcing tears back she nodded "I know, I love you too Erik. Please don't ever think I don't"

With one last kiss Chris disengaged herself from his embrace and hurried into the house before she lost the will to do this. An hour later a car had dropped Christina off at her brother's house. Erik had remained in his office, he knew if he saw her he'd beg to reconsider.

Christina didn't let herself break down until she was safely tucked away in bed.