The Medic wasn't particularly pleased with the Spy's presence in his room, but the little drama queen was having issues, and where else does one turn to when they have issues but the Medic? After the events of last week with the spider, and Spy's consequent whining, Medic had half the decision made to just send the Spy to see Demoman to tell HIM about his problems. In all honesty, Medic couldn't give less of a flying fig about Spy's feelings; but he had an obligation to keep his team healthy, and that meant both mentally and physically. Now, said Spy was curled up on Medic's bed, back up against the wall, and legs drawn up to his chest.
"You know you really ought to get more seating options in 'ere," the Spy had said when he first entered, noticing the only places to sit were Medic's bed and leather office chair next to his desk.
"I like it zhis vay," the Medic replied haughtily, "It keeps people from staying longer zhan ten minutes."
At this, the Spy huffed and made himself comfortable on the bed, sitting cross-legged near the edge. The Spy hadn't made a sound for a few minutes, and Medic was quickly losing patience, so he began to work on a few research papers he had strewn about his desk. After a while though, even the research papers weren't enough to distract him from the Spy's staring.
"Speak, Dorian," he said forcefully, using the Spy's first name and causing him to squeak as he slammed his pen down on the desk, "If you are here just to look pretty, you can do so somevhere else, but if you genuinely vant my help you must say so. I cannot read your mind."
"I…I can't sleep, Docteur," he began, trying to find his voice in his embarrassment, "I 'aven't truly slept for days. I can't concentrate on zhe battles during zhe day, and I can't sleep at night. I have seriously not slept for a week. I am miserable, Medic. What am I to do?"
The Medic found himself struggling to have much sympathy for the Spy. True, the ordeal last week did have him pretty shaken up, but he just couldn't see what the Spy was so afraid of. Spiders. Of course they were a tad creepy, but why they had scared the Spy so badly, the Medic was at a loss.
"Vell…" the Medic thought, considering all the options before him, "I suppose I can treat zhe insomnia, but if it is as bad as you say it is, zhen a mild sleep aid von't be able to help you. Anyzhing else I give you vould likely cloud your mind during battle. I don't zhink you'd like zhat very much."
"Non," the Spy replied, "I prefer to function with a clear 'ead. I want a good night's sleep, Docteur, not to fall into a coma."
"Tell me, Herr Spy," the Medic began, "Vhy is it zhat you are so afraid of spiders?"
Dorain seemed to ponder the question for a moment. He sighed deeply before answering, "When I was little, only about six or seven, my older brozher did somezhing horrible to me."
Medic raised an eyebrow at this, intrigued as to what the Spy was getting at.
"Zhere was a spider's nest in our garden," Dorian began as he sat back on the bed against the wall, drawing his knees up in front of him, "I stayed away from it, and my brozher saw zhat I avoided it. Just before zhe eggs inside were ready to hatch, he removed zhe nest and put it…he put it…"
"Spit it out, Dorian," the Medic prompted, quickly losing patience.
"…in my bed."
Now, the Medic had to fight a very strong urge to laugh. That was the kind of prank that deserved to hold a lasting effect, even though it had scarred the poor Spy for life.
"It was 'orrible!" the Spy continued, "As soon as I slipped into bed to sleep for zhe night, zhe nest broke open and my bed was filled with tiny, black, creeping, terrifying SPIDERS!"
That was when both men noticed something on the floor. It was small, black, and creeping across the carpet in a jerking motion. Although both saw the black creature on the carpet, only the Medic noticed the thin strand of fishing line attached to it that led under his door. The Spy froze in place, letting out a shriek at a volume to rival the Scout's when it moved again.
"Kill it! Kill it!" the Spy screamed, "MEDIC, DO SOMETHING!"
With a low chuckle, the Medic crossed the room and flung is door open to reveal the Sniper and Scout. Both were red-faced with amusement and on the verge of tears from holding in their laughter for so long. The Sniper had, in his hand, the other end of the fishing line.
It took a moment for the Spy to realize what was truly going on, but when the realization finally struck, he was furious.
"YOU," the Spy growled when he saw the Sniper, "You are going to PAY for ZHIS!"
The Spy rushed past Medic, whipping his balisong out of his pocket. The Sniper and Scout both up and ran, leaving the fishing line behind. They wouldn't get very far, Medic hypothesized; they were both laughing too hard to run very far without collapsing.
"What the hell man?!" Scout shouted as he ran, "Can't you take a joke?"
"Non," the Spy replied as he was catching up to them, "It appears zhat I cannot!"
Medic was grateful to finally be alone in his room again, even though he knew he'd have to patch the Sniper and Scout up once Spy was through with them. He rolled up the fishing line that had been strewn across his room during the Sniper and Scout's escape. He had to admit, this was also a pretty good prank. He would never stoop as low himself, but for the guilty party involved, he couldn't help but be impressed.
The peaceful silence of his room was soon shattered by screams heard all the way from the other side of the base. The Spy must have caught up to them.
"Oh vell," he sighed to himself as he tossed away the fishing line, "Back to vork I suppose."