Birthday present for my little sister

Happy Birthday Kai!

…Didn't I used to have muses?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

What was he supposed to have said? No? What could he have done if he said no? He was no longer an angel, he couldn't go back to Cruxis, he couldn't warp to Tethe'alla and continue his task. He needed to find a way to return to normal, yes, but as he had no clue as to where to start then he might as well search for it with them, yes? Besides, what was he supposed to say to Lloyd? When he told him to come with them..how could he have possibly have told him no?

His friends however had been a little…reluctant.

"This old geezer? He'll slow us down," Zelos scoffed.

Not very tactfully reluctant either.

"…" his eyes narrowed slightly, "I'm perhaps not as physically adept but I can make up for that with skill and experience."

Whatever state his body was in, despite being weakened he still was not a burden in anyway. He had been fighting for thousands of years, there was no way he was laying down and accepting the role of a liability. He scolded himself a bit at the thought, he would have to be careful after all…he couldn't afford to overestimate his abilities in this state.

"E- Even if he can't fight too much we can still take him with us, he can just stay back during hard fights and-" Lloyd started.

"It's not just that, Lloyd," Raine frowned, "You know what we would have to tell him? We'd have to tell him-"

"What's wrong with me telling my father the truth?" Lloyd snapped, eyes narrowing. "After what he had to go through with Kvar don't you think he deserves the truth?"

She fell silent, as did the others.

"You had no problem with me telling Dad everything yesterday-" Lloyd began, gesturing to Dirk.

"That's different-"

"No it's n-!"

Kratos put a hand on Lloyd's arm, grabbing it gently to get his attention. The teen whipped his head around, looking at his father, who looked at him

"…It's all right, Lloyd, you don't have to tell me anything or bring me along if they don't want me to," he said softly, glancing at him and then aside, releasing his arm.

Lloyd stared at him and Kratos scanned him a moment, looking away.

Every few minutes he was contradicting himself….

"D-…" Lloyd frowned, looking back to his friends. "Guys…"

Raine kept her face stern, Lloyd merely looked back at her. A moment passed and she sighed, looking back to the others.

"If he is willing to come I see nothing wrong with it," Regal stated.

"Oh come on Regal," Zelos smirked, "we all just know you want him so you won't be the oldest one in the group."

Regal and Kratos both glared at him silently.

"He is elderly but he does have an exsphere," Presea pointed out, "whether or not he can fight is not something we can determine by speculation."

An exsphere-?

Kratos' eyes glanced down briefly to his hand, finding he did indeed still have an exsphere mounted upon a crest. Granted it was a plain exsphere unlike his disguised crystal, but nonetheless a gem sat atop his hand.

"Well we let Sheena and Regal join us after they tried to kill us," Genis muttered.

Sheena flushed and Regal looked aside, both of them falling silent.

"See and we're friends now!" Colette smiled warmly. "and this is Lloyd's father- uhm, other father!"

"All right then, fine, do what you want," Raine sighed, rubbing her temple, "It looks like we're going to be here overnight, considering how much talking we're doing…"

"Ya don' worry abou' that," Dirk smiled warmly from his seat, "All of ya can stay as long as ya wan', though yer gonna have ta figure out where yer all sleepin'."

"Well I suppose that means I'm gonna have to cuddle up to someone, hm, hunny?" Zelos grinned, turning his glance towards Sheena.

"Keep away from me pervert!"

Kratos watched them, conflicted, and Lloyd noticed his gaze.

"Oh- sorry Dad, they're a little- uh we're all a little crazy," Lloyd grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "You get used to it."

The man blinked and looked back at his son, silent.

"I see," he said quietly.

"So uh- …is Mr. Scott coming with us or…?" Colette asked hesitantly, glancing around.

The group looked to Lloyd, who looked to Kratos, once again bearing that glint of childish hopefulness in his brown eyes.

It looked like he was going through with this…

"…" Kratos sighed and nodded, "Yes I suppose I am."

The grin on Lloyd's face was so infectious it even managed to get a small smile out of his father.

"O- Okay! Well- uh- ….oh! First I want to show you my room and stuff, okay?"

Kratos didn't get a chance to reply, Lloyd had gripped his wrist and was already leading him off, stunning Kratos slightly as he adjusted his pace to keep up with the boy. He nearly pulled away, he didn't like being touched, but it seemed his ability to refuse Lloyd had all but vanished. It was so good to see him smile like that, at him, instead of the shouts, the accusations, the anger and hurt….

So he let himself follow along with Lloyd, let himself be told stuff he already knew, made himself give the reactions he thought would be expected. Despite it all he kept calm and silent, only speaking when he felt necessary to convince them of his act, choosing his words carefully.

"You seem to be taking this rather well," Raine stated, scanning him suspiciously.

"That is not the sort of thing I'd believe you'd just make up," he responded calmly, "at any rate, I had many encounters with Desians…they didn't always keep their mouths shut. Usually yes it was when they assumed they were going to kill us so there was 'no harm' in saying such, but from what I heard from them this actually makes a lot of sense."

"They didn't-? What'd they say?" Lloyd frowned, curious.

"Your mother and I encountered Magnius once," he said, frowning, "he mentioned something along the lines of another world and 'stupid vermin so easily fooled by angels'."

That was before he had told her, before he had confessed to Anna what he was, what the world was. She had been confused, frustrated, afraid, but the answers had had to wait until they escaped the red-haired half-elf's grasp. Once they had Anna had rounded on him. 'You know what he meant don't you? You looked like you knew, he was looking at you!'

He wouldn't tell her, couldn't tell her, and for weeks she would not speak to him. It was only after another close encounter with death did Kratos confess to her, confess everything to her…

"Now that you mention it…Forcystus' men did say something sorta like that," Genis frowned, "When he attacked Iselia they all laughed when Lloyd said they attacked Colette, I had thought that was weird…"

"Hm…Magnius and Kratos had a suspicious exchange as well, at the ranch," Raine noted.

Kratos tried not to flinch. Lloyd did.

"Hey yeah, were you getting around to telling your old man about him, Bud?" Zelos asked, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"You did seem to leave him out of the explanation…" Regal noted.

Kratos had noticed as well. Lloyd had covered the major points, but he had all but left out Kratos, when he talked about the tower he merely had said they discovered the angels were false, then went on to the Renegades…

"Kratos…" Lloyd frowned, fists clenched, "..He was with us on the Journey but when we go to the Tower of Salvation he betrayed us. He was an angel the whole time…and he betrayed us."

The sentence was simple. Flat. Lloyd's voice didn't rise, he didn't get angry at all, he merely said it. Said it quietly, calmly, just the twinge of bitterness in his expressions…

"I'm sorry," Kratos said quietly.

"Huh?" Lloyd blinked, looking up at him.

"For that," he continued softly, "for- that you had to go through that."

He was, he was sorry…he hated himself for that; he would always hate himself for that….

"It's- all right," Lloyd said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh- …point is, he's with Cruxis and he's REALLY tough so...you have to know about him."

"Seeing as though it's a matter of time before he shows up again, you should be informed," Raine stated.

No he didn't think they were going to see 'Kratos' anytime soon, not physically….

As the day went on, the others had begun to lose interest in the stranger. Well perhaps not lose interest, they were still curious, but they had decided to give it a rest.

Lloyd did not, yet miraculously, he barely said anything. He and Kratos had ended up on the balcony, talking, or rather Lloyd talking for the most part. The teen would go to ask something, then hesitate and change his mind, instead telling him something in turn, such as the one time they had fought a giant turtle in Tethe'alla. Kratos'd smirk lightly at his son's tales, nodding and commenting, happy to be able to speak to his child like this.

It wasn't until Kratos' stomach growled did he realize how much time had passed.

That and the fact his stomach hadn't growled in thousands of years, it was a little strange.

"Dad-? Oh- …yeah I guess we haven't really eaten huh?" Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. "I guess I'm hungry too, I just got so caught up with- everything and- stuff…"

Kratos nodded, still a little surprised, trying not to look like his stomach growling was a weird event. Luckily however, it appeared Genis was already a few steps ahead.

"Hey Lloyd?" the half-elf opened the door, looking out. "I've got some spaghetti done downstairs-"

"Spaghetti?" Lloyd grimaced, Kratos tensing up beside him.

"Don't worry I left some noodles without sauce, I just put garlic and cheese on them for you," he smiled.

"…." Kratos hesitated, "Did you make enough of that for two, perhaps?"

Lloyd and Genis both looked at him. The half-elf stared and Lloyd blinked, both boys silently scanning the man, who sighed, rubbing his face.

"I don't like tomatoes,' he said simply.

Genis blinked and a grin split Lloyd's face.

"Really!" he exclaimed, as if that was the most wonderful thing he had ever heard. "Me neither!"

"Well you never did like them," Kratos smirked weakly, looking at him, "your mother always tried to get you to eat them but…well you were stubborn."

Lloyd went starry-eyed at the mention of his mother, and Kratos expected a question about her at any second, but Lloyd's stomach interrupted with another growl.

"Er- we should go eat- huh?"

The meal went by with relatively little events, aside from further questions here and there. For the most part he kept silent, speaking only when he was spoken to, wary of his every action and answer for the fear he would draw more suspicion to himself. Luckily for him, Noishe seemed to be set on helping him in this task, as he sat behind Kratos and whined constantly, begging to be pet and begging to be tossed a couple of scraps.

Kratos sighed and patted Noishe's head, frowning a little, but Noishe's enthusiastic response seemed to relax the 'audience' of sorts. As on the balcony, Lloyd continued talking, this time with added comments from Colette and Genis, at times from Sheena and Zelos.

It wasn't until later, after more question-dodging form Raine and 'briefing' on the situation, did he finally excuse himself, realizing how tense he felt. They let him and he left the building, letting out a heavy sigh once he was outside. Frowning his eyes flicked to the grave of his wife, and before he knew it he found himself walking up to it once more.

What…had happened? Just a few hours ago he had stood here, like this, and then….

With a sigh he pulled out his locket, looking at the altered picture, of the man that had replaced him that looked more likely to be Lloyd in ten years than himself. Then again- ..Lloyd in ten years didn't seem to look that much different than Kratos…if you looked-

"Dad?"

"…" he turned, watching as Lloyd walked up to him "Yes…Lloyd?"

"I- uhm, sorry, were you…?" he looked at him and then the grave, frowning, "Uhm…did you want to be alone a moment?"

Did he? Yes, honestly he did, he couldn't take much more of this...but…it was Lloyd.

"Did you need something, Lloyd?" he asked, closing the locket.

"I- uh…"

There was a moment of silence as the wind blew through the trees gently, causing their hair to sway lightly, the trailings on Lloyd's jacket blowing softly to the side.

"I was wondering if…" he swallowed, looking away, rubbing the back of his neck, "I- I know it's been a long morning and stuff and I know you're- uhm- that my friends are awkward and you're awkward and we're all- and- uh- stuff- but …I…I wanted to ask…"

Kratos looked at him silently, waiting from him to continue.

"…" Lloyd took a deep breath, shaking his head and then looking up at him again, "I was wondering if you could tell me about Mom."

Kratos looked at him.

"…Of course," he said quietly, a weak smile coming to his face, "I was expecting you to ask…"

"Well- I kept going to but then-" the teen flushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck, "I just- …it's a little weird, is all."

"I s- I understand," Kratos nodded, "It's a very…tense situation."

Lloyd grinned nervously at him, but grinned nonetheless, the two of them cast a glance back at Anna's grave, sharing a moment of silence before Kratos turned and walked away from it, towards the benches near the pen. Lloyd hesitated a little before following him, eager to hear what he would say.

"Your mother…" Kratos began, sitting on the bench, feeling Lloyd's eyes on him as the boy sat beside him.

He hesitated. Where to start? Where could he begin? How could he explain it all without giving himself away? Could he?

"Dad? Is something wrong?" Lloyd asked.

"No," he shook his head, quiet, "No…."

He had the right to know about his mother, and he wanted to tell him about his mother. Why wouldn't he want to tell him? He finally could, then why was it so hard to do it now that he had the chance? His russet eyes looked to his son, then around the area, falling onto Anna's grave across from them.

Lloyd frowned and followed his gaze, then looked back at him, taking in the expression on his face.

"Dad…I- ..I know she wouldn't have wanted you to punish yourself like this," Lloyd muttered, looking away.

"…No, I doubt she would have wanted that," he closed his eyes, "But she was…too kind for her own good. Well…when it came to the important things."

"The important things?"

"…She was fond of using violence when she was frustrated," a weak smirk cracking his lips, "Namely hitting me whenever I did something 'stupid'."

"She what?" Lloyd stared.

"Well she never hit very hard," he chuckled deeply, "Though she said that was because she liked me, otherwise she would have 'really let me have it'."

Lloyd stared.

"Very prone to anger," he continued, "But she loved you very much…she- …."

It was hard again. Why was it hard again?

Just keep talking….just keep telling him what he deserved to know…it was his mother, he had a right to know…

"Lloyd," Raine called, stepping outside, "We need to discuss our plans for Efreet tomorrow."

"Huh-? Oh! R- Right…"

Kratos looked at him, getting to his feet.

"We can talk when there is more time," he told him, "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to tell you a lot.

"Oh? I'm interrupting something?" Raine asked, looking between them, slightly curious despite her stubborn suspicion.

"Er- well it's okay," Lloyd said, walking to the house, "It was- we'll talk later, after we get all this done and stuff."

"All right then…" Raine said, turning and heading back inside.

Lloyd was disappointed, but Kratos couldn't help but feel just a little relieved, despite his own guilt…

Kratos silently made his way outside, past the sleeping forms that had crowded in Lloyd's room, hearing the gentle snore of the others down below. Gently he opened the door to the terrace and stepped outside, closing it with a soft click behind him. Cautiously he made his way to the edge of the terrace, looking around and then letting out a heavy sigh, finally allowing his body to relax.

What a day…..

They wanted to go to Efreet tomorrow, to continue the pacts. How well could he fight like this? He wasn't sure yet, but he had no intention of backing down, however…he wasn't sure breaking the mana links was truly in their best interest as it was. It's not like he would be able to tell them that, however, given how they were suspicious as it was, and to back up his claim would surely require his exposure.

Still…despite it all…

He had enjoyed spending time with his son again.

And being called…

"Dad?" a tired voice called. "It's like midnight, what are you doing up?"

Kratos flinched, cursing himself for having not paid attention to his surroundings. Despite having lost his angelic senses, he should have heard his son going through the door at the very least. He turned and Lloyd rubbed his eyes, straining them in the dim light of the moon to see his father.

"You should be resting," Kratos frowned.

"Yeah well so should you," He pouted, "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking," He said simply, looking away.

"Oh," Lloyd answered.

A moment of silence

"…The stars are out," Lloyd said.

"Yes," Kratos nodded.

"Can you…tell me- …"

Lloyd bit his lip, half wanting to ask, but half berating himself for it. It had obviously been hard on his father earlier to talk about things, so maybe he was being childish rushing all of this…but on the other hand-

"You want me to tell you about the stars," Kratos said quietly, his head down.

"Huh-? Uh-…well, yeah, but I understand if…"

"It's late," Kratos said flatly.

Lloyd blinked, looking at him and then sighing deeply, turning to go back inside.

"Just for a few minutes," Kratos muttered softly.

Lloyd whipped around, staring at him. A second later a grin split his face and he dashed over to Kratos' side, looking up at him.

"Thanks, Dad," he chirped.

Kratos looked at him a long moment. Lloyd's smile faltered and he frowned, feeling self-conscious.

"Wh- why are you staring at me like that?"

"…" Kratos smiled weakly, "I'm…happy to talk to my son again."

Finally something that was completely true.

"I'm happy to talk to you too," Lloyd smiled, "..Dad."

Just a few minutes wouldn't hurt…

n.n Hope you liked, we'll get into the more plotty points next chapter, but I thought this chap was needed…oyako! FEAR IT!