Chapter eight I like this story, so much fluff is able to be wrenched from it I mean…uh…given

Disclaimer: I own nothing still.

"Dad, are we done yet?"

Kratos sighed, placing down the paper and rubbing his face with his good hand.

"Lloyd, you're fully capable of doing all this, why do you get such dismal grades?"

The teen stiffened, glance at his father and then away, slumping a little bit.

"I- …I mean, why? What's the point of it?"

"Why wouldn't you want to better yourself, Lloyd?" Kratos looked at him, tiling his head a bit.

Lloyd was quiet a moment, scanning his father and then his homework, biting his lip. The teen seemed to consider his words a moment, strumming his fingers on his leg.

"I…I don't know, I guess I never thought of it that way," he muttered.

"…You're very intelligent, Lloyd, you just need to apply yourself," Kratos said.

Lloyd jerked, staring wide-eyed at his father.

"Wh- what? You think I'm smart? But- but I get horrible grades-"

"Because you don't try," Kratos said. "I'm certain if you really put the effort into it you could do very well. Yes you don't get good grades but that's because you don't try, not because you're not smart. You're very intelligent."

There was a long moment where the boy merely stared at his father, and Kratos began to wonder if he had said something wrong. Had he slipped? He didn't see how he could have, but-

Lloyd snatched the paper.

"Okay…if- if I do this then I'm done for tonight, right?" Lloyd asked, glancing nervously at his father.

"…Yes, according to Professor Sage."

Lloyd frowned and then nodded, placing down the paper and beginning to scribble madly on it. Kratos raised an eyebrow, watching his son work. That was…an unexpected result, he had to admit… What had he done differently? Or was it just the idea of getting this done with for the night? That was possible…

"Okay, I'm done," Lloyd declared after a minute. "Can- do you …want to check it for me?"

The ex-Seraph eyed his son a moment, nodding and taking it from him. He was acting oddly… Kratos scanned Lloyd's work, a small smirk working into his face as he checked them over. Yes…he had done them correctly. A small bubble of what he dared hope was pride swelled up in his chest, nodding with a small smile.

"Very good. Hand it in to Miss Sage and you're done."

Lloyd's eyes lit up and he nodded, taking the paper and scrambling over to the half-elven woman. There was a bounce in his step, a smile on his face, but he couldn't understand what had caused the sudden change…

It wasn't until later that night, when Lloyd and most of the group had fallen asleep did he discover the reasoning. He sat by the fire, staring into it, watching the flames dance and cast their red glow over Lloyd's sleeping form.

"...He really admires you."

Kratos twitched, glancing up as Raine approached, her skeptic gaze obvious even in the dim light. The woman sat down beside him, looking over his wound.

"I don't think he's ever been so proud of himself," Raine said softly. "He's been trying to impress you, you know. Ever since you joined up with us he's been working so hard trying to impress you."

"…But…why?" Kratos frowned, glancing over at his son.

"…All children want to earn their father's approval," she said, eyeing him intently.

"But I…" he hesitated, frowning. "I killed his mother…I…lost him."

"Yes, but even still he wants nothing more than you to be proud of him," she said. "That's why he was so eager to do his work…I was surprised, I'll admit it, but…"

Kratos said nothing, sitting in silence while Raine redressed his wound. After a moment the woman pulled back, though continued to sit by him, watching him.

"Look… It's not that I don't believe you're his father," she said finally. "I believe you are. However I still don't buy you are exactly who you say you are."

He tried not to tense, instead sat there, trying to think of the appropriate response.

"And I don't think you're lying about the things you tell Lloyd, about his mother, about his childhood…but…"

"What could I be lying about?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

Raine flinched a bit, her eyes narrowing as she met his. Kratos frowned and she jabbed a finger in his face.

"That. There it is, right there," she growled, her eyes locked with his.

"What?"

It occurred to him then, that his eyes hadn't changed. He felt his skin pale just a bit, but…no, surely she couldn't come to that conclusion? No one could possibly conclude to themselves that someone had changed their entire body on a whim.

"…You're very…reminiscent of this man we knew," she said finally, frowning.

"Am I?" he tilted his head just a bit. "Hm…strange."

"Perhaps it's something that comes with being a mercenary, hm?" Raine said, backing off a bit but still eying him. "Then it's possible you had a similar history, who knows…he didn't say much about himself."

"May I ask who you are talking about?" he said.

"Kratos," she said flatly. "The mercenary that betrayed us."

"…I see," Kratos said, looking over at Lloyd. "Lloyd was…hurt, by him…"

"Yes," Raine said flatly, scanning him still. "…"

"Are you quite done, Miss Sage?" he asked somewhat irritably."

Raine glared at him in reply, but said nothing, drawing back from him.

"Try to get some rest, you need to heal quickly."

Did he ever…

The morning trek had been…aggravating, to say the least. Not only was it slow goings but he was completely useless. How could he be expected to just wait off to the side, to be protected when everyone else was fighting? He had been fighting for four-thousand years, he was not going to simply accept being a non-combatant. It was humiliating….

"We should stop in Luin," Lloyd said after a while. "It's been a while since the ranch, and Pietro said they were going to work on rebuilding."

"Luin…." Kratos said softly.

"Have you been there, Dad?" Lloyd asked, his eyes flashing to his father.

"Yes," he answered, looking at him. "It's where your mother was from."

Lloyd twitched and then grinned, nodding at him to confirm he heard. A small smile spread on Kratos' face; Lloyd had been beginning to make that a habit. Instead of bombarding him with another stream of questions once he had been told something he instead just smiled, accepting the fact to himself before the inevitably questions came forward again.

"Okay, then let's stop by and see if we can help out with the city."

"Yeah I guess it's not like we'll be able to get on with the pactmaking until the old man is better." Zelos said with a shrug.

Kratos simply ignored him. It seemed to be the best way of dealing with him, it's what everyone else did after all. So then it was they continued to the city, and Kratos began slowly to dread it. Not that he did not wish to see what work had been done to the town, but he knew in his current state there was no way he was going to be able to properly assist, not that Raine or Lloyd would let him.

When they arrived it was…surprising, to say the least. Kratos' eyes widened just a bit, scanning the surroundings. The city was nearly rebuilt! In such a short time…? A small smile flitted onto his face. Then, the people of this city always were tenacious…persistent, headstrong. Just like Anna had been, it seemed, the entire city seemed raring to go again so soon after such devastation…

He missed her horribly…

It seemed so long ago- and perhaps it was, really…fourteen years. That was long by human standards, wasn't it? He had ceased being human so long ago he wasn't sure anymore, attached to nothing, watching nothing grow- …that was until he was born.

Kratos eyed Lloyd, who had turned to the group and was talking excitedly, about the city, he gathered. He had gotten so tall…he had grown, he had aged…so quickly, much too quickly. His face fell.

The little boy that had run up to him and begged to be put on his shoulders, the toddler that came crying to Anna whenever he hurt himself, the child that had tugged his hair when he tried to read him bedtime stories…that soft round face and those big brown eyes. His little boy, already a man, Anna would be so proud- he was sure she was. She had always been proud of Lloyd, even for the most mundane things.

"Dad? Are you okay? You're kinda zoning out."

"Hm-? Ah, yes, my- I'm sorry, Lloyd." He shook his head. "Yes I was just- …thinking."

"Isn't it great, Dad?" Lloyd grinned, as excited as he had been as a child over dessert. "Look! It's almost rebuilt! We're going to pitch I and-…oh, uh, do you want to sit down somewhere? I mean you're hurt-"

He sighed. There it was. He had been expecting it, sure, but still…

"I'll be fine, Lloyd," he said. "I might not be able to assist but…if you don't mind I'd like to stay with you while you work."

"Of course, Dad." Lloyd smiled.

He hadn't even need to think about it. Just 'of course'. Had he told Lloyd the truth, before this had happened, would things have eventually wound up like this? …No…not likely. It was only because of this, only because of this lie…this deceitful truth. For a moment he wasn't sure if this guilt was any better than the one he had held within him during the Regeneration Journey.

To his shame he did in fact end up sitting down well before Lloyd and his friends decided they were tired enough to take a break. He had tried to remain steadfast, it's not like he had been doing anything after all, aside from handing parts to Lloyd with his good arm, but by the time the sun was edging lower in the sky he had been exhausted. The sun seemed too hot, the dust from the construction irritated him, and his muscles ached…was this what it was like to get old? How irritating….he had been so used to his eternal youth he had practically forgotten what it was like to become tired- at least, physically. He was irritated but at least they were calling it a day. He made no complaints about staying in the city that night and was even content to sit among the group as they talked about the various projects going on about the city, amusing accidents that had occurred during their work, and various blisters and bruises.

"So, who's cooking tonight?" Sheena asked, yawning as she laid back.

"Not me, I'm exhausted," Zelos whined loudly.

"I cooked last night!" Genis huffed.

He wasn't sure what had possessed him, just then, but Kratos spoke up.

"If someone will assist me, I'll be able to cook well enough with my left arm," he stated.

The group looked at him, as if it was incredibly strange for him to speak up- then again, he supposed it kind of was. It- it was, after all…he never really volunteered for anything, and when he did do things around camp before hand he had simply done it. This wasn't that much different, really, yet it still seemed a little…

"I'll help you Mister Scott!" Colette smiled.

"That's okay, Colette," Lloyd said quickly. "I'll help Dad, you just try to relax okay?"

Colette hesitated but then nodded, Lloyd smiling as he got to his feet. Kratos looked at him before getting to his own, grimacing a bit at the pop in his bones as he did so. Zelos smirked a bit but the former-Seraph ignored him, walking to the kitchen. It had been used strenuously as of late, that was obvious, but there were very few working kitchens in the city as of then. Many had been taking turns with it, and Pietro had just gotten their own time slot.

"Okay, Dad, what'd you need?" Lloyd smiled up at him.

"…"

"…Dad? Dad is something wrong?"

"No." He lied softly. "Just tired…"

"Oh- uh-"

"Just get some water boiling," he said, beginning to look through their cooking supplies. "Then start chopping some broccoli-"

"Broccoli?" Lloyd muttered, trying not to sound disgusted.

"Yes, broccoli," Kratos said. "Don't complain, they're very beneficial to muscle development and cardiac health."

"..Cardi…"

"Your heart," Kratos explained, placing some ingredients on the counter.

"Oh."

"…Your mother could never get you to eat it." Kratos said, a light smirk coming to his face. "She would have to keep you there for hours before you'd take a bite. So she'd make this, and you'd eat it right up, seconds even, at times thirds."

Lloyd eyed him.

"…What are we making?"

"Alfredo," Kratos said, inspecting a clove of garlic. "You were fond of the sauce, Anna swore you'd even eat tomatoes if she put it on them…you didn't of course, but she tried."

"I…don't think I've had that-at least not in a long time-..I mean I've had it of course since you gave it to me when I was little, just-"

"I know what you mean," the man let out a soft chuckle. "It's all right, I won't be upset or anything if you don't like it any longer."

He had to say, he did in fact enjoy such a simple thing as cooking with his son. It was rather nice to …tell him what to do, to teach him, for something that wasn't life or death. It was like Lloyd was young again, where when he had taught him things it had been for the sake of teaching him, not for the fate of his life or others' lives… Still he found his thoughts darkening. How long did he expect to do this? Wouldn't it only be a matter of time before someone found out? What if- what if whatever had done this wore off, what would he do then? A nag in the back of his mind told him, and he knew it, that he couldn't keep lying forever. Something would give, Cruxis, Yuan, or just something he himself would bring about would bring this crashing down around him- ..and Lloyd. Lloyd…how would he- how would he take this? How would he react when he found out? ..Was there any way at all that he could spare his son pain from this entire situation? Was he just destined to forever hurt his son?

"Lloyd…" he said softly, turning to look at him.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"…If- …Lloyd I want you to know that if something happens…" He frowned, turning back to his work. "I want you to know your mother and I …love you very much."

Lloyd slowed in his own work, turning warily to eye his father, whom didn't look back at him.

"Dad- what are you saying? Nothing's going to-"

"I just want you to know that Anna loved you and that no matter what happens…I love you as well."

"I- Is this about what happened with Sylph?" Lloyd frowned, eying his father's wound. "Look- I'm sorry, I'll be more careful next time. Just- nothing is going to happen because we won't let it happen, right?"

"…"

"Dad-"

"Promise me you'll remember that, Lloyd." Kratos finally looked at him. "…Please."

The teen fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable with what his father was saying. Still, he nodded, then desperately tried to change the subject, about his mother, his childhood…whatever would alleviate the tension that had descended upon him. Kratos remained tense, gradually relaxing and becoming more engaged in the conversation with Lloyd. It…well for now, he didn't have to concern himself about it, right now he could let himself talk with his son.

It was later that night when he laid there in the darkness, staring up into the abyss as sleep eluded him. What was he doing? Besides..if the pacts did not work, then what? That left only the sword-…and his fate to that matter was unavoidable. …It would have been easier, for the traitor Kratos to die for Lloyd, but…Richard his 'father'….

Had he just messed things up even more?

M'kay sorry if this was a little fillerish, but given my workload right now it's a miracle I manage to update this at all . Finals coming up…uggghhh

Well, next chapter is back to Tethe'alla n.n so we'll get back into the swing of things yesh?

Hope you liked!