A little Max and Alec time today…

Day Twenty

Max had found an abandoned office to sleep in. She rolled over on the hard floor, repositioned her jacket under her head to make it a little more comfortable, and stared at the ceiling. Funnily enough, staring at the ceiling instead of out the window didn't give her any new ideas on how to get them out of Terminal City.

She didn't want to admit she was hiding, but… she was hiding. She'd needed a break from the others. The worse things got, the more hostile glares and snide, increasingly aggressive comments were sent her way. Now it was to the point that she almost couldn't bear being around most of the others. She'd run into Quarter earlier and the other woman had made it very clear who she felt was responsible for their debacle.

Just stay away from me. It was your idiot '09er thinking that got us here and I don't want to have to look at you. Should've left us at Manticore. At least they fed us.

Max almost thought she was right. Almost. Quarter was conveniently forgetting that some of them would have been dead either way, some on missions and some on Manticore's orders. That didn't mean they weren't in dire straits and that didn't mean Max wasn't feeling the burden of finding some miracle to get them out of harm's way.

She was worried most about the youngest of them and those who were the most fragile. They couldn't hold out as long. Gem was still breastfeeding her new baby, but since she wasn't getting enough nourishment herself, she was wasting away at an almost visible rate. The rest of them weren't looking much better.

Rats and mice couldn't read the Keep Out signs around TC, so they'd put their feline DNA to good use and caught any they could. Rats roasting over a fire weren't exactly haute cuisine, but still, food was food. Insects offered some protein as well, but they had to catch a whole lot of bugs to make a dent in their hunger. They'd caught a few birds, too. Their Manticore taught skills of setting traps and making weapons like blow guns and bows, had definitely come in handy.

What little sustenance they managed to gather was given to the youngest and smallest first, then to those in the worst shape. In the past few days, Max hadn't had more than a few bugs, but she couldn't bring herself to take food from someone else's mouth.

Max heard someone walk in and knew almost instantly it was Alec. She knew the sound of his step and she knew his scent. Since water was limited, nobody was getting showers anymore. Needless to say, everybody was getting kind of ripe. It was an added irritation for so many people with a Transgenic sense of smell.

"You hiding out?"

"Looking for a quieter place to sleep," Max said. "You snore."

Alec made a quiet chuffing noise. "Yeah right. As if Manticore would have allowed that sort of thing." He sat down beside her. "Pretty sure they shot any snorers."

Max let out a tiny puff of amusement, not that it was really funny. Manticore hadn't been quite that ruthless. After all, their supersoldiers cost them a fortune to create and then took years and years to train. There was a reason they hadn't just killed the twins when Max and her family escaped. It was also why Alec was still alive even though Ben went completely insane and Alec himself screwed up the Berrisford thing. If she had to guess he'd spent months and months in various re-indoctrination programs rather than just being put down. Brainwashing was so much more cost-effective than killing them and starting over.

Max sat up. Her training wouldn't let her remain lying down while Alec was sitting beside her. She knew she was safe with him, but still… instincts were instincts, even if all she wanted to do was lie back down and pretend to sleep.

"What are you doing here, Alec?"

He'd probably heard about what happened with Quarter. Max didn't exactly know what the relationship was between them. Alec hadn't seemed overly comfortable when he'd realized he'd been using her for a pillow, but Quarter had definitely seemed territorial about him.

"Don't let Quarter bother you too much," Alec said. "She's just high-strung."

Max rolled her eyes. "Aren't we all."

"She's, uh…" Alec smirked. "She kinda makes you look laid-back, if you can believe it."

"Wow."

"No kidding. I didn't think it was possible to find somebody more uptight than you."

"Gee, thanks."

Alec cocked his head to the side in thought. "Renfro, maybe. That lady had a stick so far up her-"

"I get it," she cut him off. "I'm uptight and Quarter's got issues."

His expression became more serious. "She's riling some of the others up. I'm doing my best to keep her calm, but even my charm goes only so far."

"Didn't think I'd ever hear you admit that."

"Hey, it helps when I have a reason to turn on the charm and since Manticore's not around to order me to do it… I can't really manage it anymore unless I actually want to charm a girl."

"And you don't want to charm Quarter?" Max didn't know why she was asking. It didn't make any difference to her one way or another. It was just curiosity. That was all. With so little to do, the tendency to gossip had grown exponentially. They liked to call it intel and recon and other things to fancy it up, but basically they were bored and getting in everyone else's business.

"She's all right." Alec shrugged. "But like I said, she's high-strung." Alec gave her a gentle bump on her good shoulder. "I already got one of those."

Max scoffed. "Well, don't let me get in the way of your love life."

Alec just smiled and shook his head. "Got bigger things to worry about anyway."

"Yeah." Max sighed and felt the moment of levity passing as quickly as it had appeared, reality quickly sinking back in. Her head thumped back against the wall and she stared at the ceiling. It still didn't offer up any sort of solution.

Alec scooted back so they were now sitting shoulder to shoulder. They remained quiet, and Max was grateful for the silence. For some reason the noise of being cooped up, trapped with all the others was rubbing her raw, making her easily agitated, and she couldn't afford to lose her cool. Tempers were already too high.

"You think Sketch and the others are ok?" Alec asked into the silence.

They hadn't spoken about them since they'd been handed over. There was no way to know and talking about it had seemed useless. She should have known that wouldn't stop Alec.

"Dunno," she answered. "They took them to the hospital, and," she drew in a steadying breath, "if they made it, they probably took them into custody. They would have interrogated them, maybe charged them with who knows what connected with the whole Jam Pony hostage thing."

Alec harrumphed. "They made it," he said with certainty. "Once they got away from the toxins, it would just take time to clean out their systems."

Max shook her head. She wasn't so sure. "Not if their organs were already too damaged."

"Well, aren't you just a glass half full today."

"Doesn't matter. Even if…"

Alec turned his head so that he was actually looking at her. "Even if what?" He was frowning, studying her too closely.

"Nothing." She shouldn't have said anything. It was just that she'd been given way too much time with nothing to do but sit and think. She'd been going over and over every decision that had led her here and she couldn't help but wonder where it had all gone so wrong.

"Come on, Max," Alec cajoled. "Who can you tell if you can't tell your old buddy, Alec?"

"It's just… even if they're ok… I… we… can't see them anymore. Maybe never."

"How do you figure?"

"If we ever make it out of here, we have to leave Seattle and never come back. We'll have to hide, probably for the rest of our lives. We can't drag our friends into that. We'll get them killed… if they're not already dead."

Alec was still for several seconds before nodding. "You're right, but…"

"But what?"

He pursed his lips, clearly hesitant to say whatever he had to say. "You ok with leaving Logan behind?"

"I…" She fell silent again, unsure how to say what she was feeling. "He…"

"You're going to join a nunnery and pine for him for the rest of your life." He paused as if in thought. "You've practically taken a vow of chastity already. Or maybe Logan can go, too. He's already a self-righteous pr-"

"No." Max glared at him and he just grinned.

"You're gonna sneak him out too and invest in every bit of Saran Wrap left in the world." He snapped his fingers. "I know a guy in Minnesota who has a stockpile. I can give you his number."

"Alec!"

"I've got it! You and Logan are gonna join a commune to use meditation and yoga to control your urges."

"I'm having an urge right now you're not gonna like."

Alec laughed, his expression fading into a quieter, knowing smile. "You gonna tell me or do I get to keep guessing?"

"Me and Logan…"

"You and Logan…"

"It was a dream." Max looked away, unable to bear his scrutiny. "It was a really nice dream, but that was it. Just a dream." She sighed. "At some point, you have to wake up and deal with the way things are, not how you want them to be."

Alec didn't smirk or make some sort of offhand comment. He only nodded.

"What? Got nothing smart to say?"

"I know a little something about dreams not working out. I… She…" He rubbed the back of his neck, kneading the muscles there to loosen them. "I get it, Max."

"Rachel?" she asked tentatively.

"Yup. Only she's dead. Makes the decision easier, doesn't it?" His tone was flat, purposely emotionless, as if it didn't still kill him to think about it. Max knew better. She'd used that trick too often herself not to recognize it.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked. She'd told him about Ben, but Alec had never said a word about what happened with Berrisford. She'd guessed, but that was it.

"What's to say?" He shrugged. "I tried to save her and she died. That's a dream-crusher if ever there was one."

Max knew how much had to be going on beneath the surface. She'd seen him during the mess with Berrisford. She'd seen how affected he was, how desperate he'd been when he'd thought for a moment Rachel was alive. Then when he'd found her…

"So no more Logan," Alec said.

"Nope."

"Wow."

"Yeah." It broke her heart to say it. She'd decided on it already, but hearing it out loud made it real. She'd thought maybe making the decision would be freeing, but all she felt was empty. Mole and the others were dead. Her people were starving to death and they hated her for it. Now she'd been forced to give up on the last bit of normal that she'd been hanging on to, a girl liking an ordinary boy. But he wasn't ordinary. He was an Ordinary and she wasn't. Holding onto him would kill him, so she was letting go of something that had never really been hers in the first place. Alone was better.

"Don't worry," Alec said. "You'll always have me."

Max's eyebrows rose. "Is that supposed to be comforting?"

He offered her a smirk that gave her the oddest feeling. "I think so."

The weird thing was? She kind of thought so, too.

Day Twenty-Four

Max was hiding again and Alec needed to find her. Those who were left after Mole's escape attempt had been restless before and now they were getting downright… well… militant. They wanted something done. They couldn't agree on what, and they couldn't agree on a new leader, but it was getting ugly. They were pressing for something to be done, for plans to make another attempt to break through the fence and the waiting soldiers. It was suicide and everyone knew it, but they were still pushing for it. Now was no time for Max to go radio silent.

Ever since their talk, he'd watched her withdraw more and more, and now she'd simply disappeared, not just for the night, but all day, too. Alec knew she'd been depressed. He'd watched her struggling, but this was worse. He didn't know if it was because of Quarter getting in her face that day, or giving up on Logan, or the loss of Mole's group, or the increasing hardships on those who were left with no hope of rescue in sight. Whatever the case, Alec felt the deficit keenly. He needed his Max, his bossy, loud, demanding Max who never gave up and didn't take crap from anybody.

It wasn't like he wasn't feeling the pressure himself. They all were. Everyone was hungry and claustrophobic and grieving for their friends and afraid they were about to lose more. Every morning Alec woke up to find that Dalton was looking worse and worse. The kid just smiled like it was nobody's fault he was wasting away, that his liver was failing because his body was eating its own tissue to stay alive, that he'd had trouble remembering Alec's name the day before because his brain wasn't functioning as well. Dalton still smiled and Alec felt like the biggest jerk in the world. He knew he was failing the kid.

Alec needed Max and he needed her now. He knew she would be in the office where she'd taken up residence. He'd left her as long as he could, but he couldn't wait any longer.

Alec trudged up the stairs and down the hall all the while listening for signs she was awake. He had to listen because there were no lights, but it was difficult to hear over the sounds of his own breathing. He wasn't healing like he should be and now he was wheezing after climbing the stairs. It was one more thing to worry about, but he couldn't be bothered. He was already full up on things to fret over.

He paused, waiting for his breathing to calm, and then walked into the office. What he saw made all of his plans go out the window. Max was sitting in the dark, barely illuminated by the dim lights of the city coming through the window. Her face was calm, expressionless, but most of all she looked tired, so tired.

Max hated just sitting in the dark. The military had originally missed one of the electrical lines coming into Terminal City, and Max hadn't felt the need to inform them of their mistake. Now, though, along with blowing the tunnels and shutting off the water, they'd cut the last power lines as well as the natural gas lines.

It had been ok for a few days after that, but now the generators were out of fuel. They had no computers, no cameras, no heat, no light, nothing. They were back to making fires with scrap wood. The little horses and cats they'd carved to amuse themselves were now being used to keep them warm.

Max was supposed to be sleeping, but thanks to her shark DNA that wasn't happening. At least she was going to blame it on the DNA. It was probably that she couldn't stop thinking about the mess they were in. Or it could be that she was hungry. The gnawing constant hunger was starting to really bother her and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it. She couldn't even sleep to pass the time. She didn't know long it had been now. Too long.

"I guess cat DNA is good for something at least. We can see in the dark pretty well."

Alec sat down beside her, close enough that his shoulder brushed hers. She didn't acknowledge him or what he'd said. She had neither the energy, nor the inclination. Her damaged collarbone was finally healing at least. Her body needed fuel to repair the injury though, so it still felt a bit like bone grating on bone when she moved it.

"What are we staring at?" he asked. "Cause it kinda looks like a blank wall to me."

Max still didn't say anything. They were in the little office she'd been using to sleep. It had one window that was propped open and she could feel the breeze coming through it. Thankfully, the stench of rotting corpses had let up. She'd have probably gone crazy by now if it hadn't.

"Ooookay," Alec drew out the word. "So. Silent treatment it is. Or are you just acting nuts so that the rest of us have something else to worry about."

"Not nuts," she muttered, her voice rough from disuse. "Just got nothing to say. Tired," she added. And she suddenly realized she was. She was so tired. Tired and scared.

Alec raised his arm and put it around her shoulders. She tensed, but she didn't have the energy for that either and she sagged closer to him.

"Get some sleep," he whispered. "I'll take watch."

"You sure?" she murmured, already feeling the pull of sleep as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

Alec laughed and she could feel the rumble in his chest where she was touching him. "Yeah, I have time before my dinner reservations at the Ritz."

Max didn't know what the Ritz was, must've been something from before the Pulse, but Alec loved to watch TV shows from back then. He couldn't watch them now though since the power had been cut.

She sighed and felt herself drifting off. Maybe a little sleep would clear her head.

More soon… It's crunch time…